Disclaimer: I do not own Sword Art Online. This piece of fiction was written for the sole purpose of my enjoyment. On a completely unrelated topic, Morgan Freeman demotivational posters are hilarious. Seriously, every time I see one, I imagine him narrating it. So, yeah, go google that crap. Also, it turns out theres a REALLY good parody of SAO on youtube by swentertainmet. Its too funny for its own good. I mean, one video got them 4000 subscribers, so you know it's hilarious.

Have you ever leveled up a character in an RPG so much that even the Final Boss was easy? That was the feeling I got as I hacked away at yet another generic mob.

All weapons in Sword Art Online could be upgraded up to five times. The Anneal Blade I had received as part of the Premium Copy was Lvl8, meaning the level cap was increased. If I visited the Augment shop later that day, I could afford a +12 Speed chip. Not only would this further strengthen my weapon, but I could move at the pace I used to.

In the final days of the beta, I had reallocated all my Skill Points into pure Speed. Everything and everyone had always appeared slow to me. Although I couldn't cause much damage when attacking, it didn't really matter when the enemy couldn't hit me. It was how I had earned the nickname the Black Blur, although, only Argo actually called me that to my face.

Speaking of Argo, I was heading toward the Beggar's Camp. It was a pretty obscure place on the map, and certainly wasn't meant to be traveled until a player reached Lvl5, at least. Of course, thanks to the Premium Equipment and the Beta Bonus, I had little trouble getting there. Hell, at this rate, I probably wouldn't need to grind until the Fifth Planet. I wondered whether or not I could take on the Planet Boss at my current state. Then I remembered that Boss Battles actually incorporated strategy, relying less on strength and more on tactics.

I'd probably be slaughtered.

Nonchalantly curb stomping a Dire Wolf, I continued on my way to Beggar's Camp.

Being a game deeply rooted in it's own lore, SAO had a story for nearly every object and location. For example, Beggar's Camp was an attempt to colonize the planet, or it was, until the local mobs ( which the game referred to as Monstirs) nearly wiped the entire place out. Disregarding the name, it was a goldmine for experience points and farming coll. Dozens of simple Fetch Quests were given here, not to mention the secret Side Quest, which I'm sure Argo was planning to complete with me.

Stepping into the camp, I recognized a familiar cloak and headed in that direction.

"Argo, is that you?"

When the figure turned around, a deep red flush crept on my face. The figure in question was a woman with light pink hair, violet eyes, plush lips, a curvaceous body, and wore armor that called her morals into question. I didn't know who this woman was, but it definitely wasn't Argo.

"Geez Kirito, what kept ya? Ya get lost on the way over here?"

Or maybe it was.

"... Argo, that is you... right?"

Argo(?) smiled, and placed her hands on her hips, accenting her avatar's... attractiveness. "Ya like? I was gonna go for the tsundere look like in the beta, but then I decided the hotter I looked, the more customers I would get!"

I frowned. "You might want to rephrase that."

"I will not," she pouted, "besides, you know you like it.

I didn't even refute that.

"So, on to business! How ya doin' Kirito, life treatin' ya well? Touch third base with your girlfriend? Learn how to fly a plane? Kill a man with ya bare hands? Great, that's cool..." her demeanor suddenly shifted, going from playful to deadly in an instant "... you haven't told anyone about what's in the Premium Package, have you?"

I smiled. Good ol' Argo. "No. But I might be tempted to, if a certain info broker can't, oh, I don't know, pay up?" A common theme in my relationship with Argo was this: You're my friend, but I won't hesitate to charge you. The reverse also applied.

"I still think you overpriced me."

"That's nice."

"No, really, I could've gotten that information anywhere else for half the coll."

"Then you can go track down the other winners."

"I would, but-"

"You love me too much, I know."

"Kirito, you dumba-"

And so that's how the majority of our conversation in the Dire Tunnel went. When me and Argo weren't fending off Mutant Dire Wolves, we would argue back and forth about how I had totally cheated her. Which I did, but wouldn't admit.

We had accepted a Side Quest from a (rather well) hidden merchant in Beggar's Camp. He needed the pelts of ten Mutant Dire Wolves, in order to repurpose them. For what, he didn't say, but I already knew from the beta that he would reward us with some rare armor and decent coll. To find the Mutant Dire Wolves, he suggested we search for tunnels located near poisoned streams. Rather than do that, Argo and I ventured to the end of the map, where a (also well) hidden den lay.

So far, we had yet to run across any players, and were making good time. We only had to collect one more pelt for the quest, but the last one had to be gained from killing the local Field Boss, Kanerdis the Glutton. Field bosses were basically beefed up versions of regular mobs, but with the ability of using Sword Skills and summoning their affiliated monstirs. In our case, Kanerdis was considered to be almost impossible to take out. Only with the combined forces of twelve raiding parties was he brought down in the beta. Luckily, Argo, who wielded Claws, could inflict Critical damage if I opened up the Boss's weakness. Which I planned to do using my turrets. And minions.

Perhaps the most popular feature of Sword Art Online, Tower Plays were considered to be deus ex machina's in a fight. Simply point, select a specific Tower, and it would be deployed from the sky. My personal favorite use of Towers was to aim at the enemy and deploy a Lookout. Since the Towers (according to the game, anyway) were sent from space via the Heathcliff, the sheer impact could crush most low-to-mid level mobs. Whenever I pointed my Launcher, someone was gonna get hurt.

Minions, on the other hand, weren't even featured in the game until halfway throughout the beta. Minions were essentially basic AI bots that you could give orders to. They would carry your orders out to the best of their ability, like helping you scale otherwise unreachable ledges, acting as support, or even going back to the Heathcliff to buy you Med-Kits. Normally you could only summon five at a time, but thanks to the Premium Package, my minions were strong enough to compensate for lack of numbers..

These were the tools that would ensure our victory against Kanerdis.

For five minutes, we ceased our bickering as we searched through the maze of tunnels. Heavy snoors could be heard. No doubt, Kanerdis was nearby.

Taking a left, we finally came upon him.

Kayaba Akihiko had created SAO to be as realistic as possible. This meant you could sometimes crap yourself if you got scared enough. Kanerdis the Glutton was obviously meant to strike fear into the hearts of players. Right now he was asleep, but I knew that the moment we struck him, he would easily tower over us and transform into something more humanoid. His fangs protruded out of his mouth, oozing a sort of black poison. Equally black fur covered him head to toe, and what looked like bronze armor covered a small portion of his back. A wicked-looking sword lay beside him, with shrunken heads tied to the hilt. It was very intimidating, much like the imagery of a huge werewolf in western movies.

Fortunately, he was in a clearing, where the visage of the Heathcliff was visible. This meant I could use my Tower Plays, as they required a clear sky in order to deploy.

Besides, I'm too awesome to be intimidated.

Nodding to each other, Argo and I rushed to battle.

Dashing to the left of the clearing, I aimed my Launcher at the ground. Pulling the trigger, a loud whooshing sound filled the air. Moments later, a man sized metal crate crashed to the ground. The crate automatically opened, and a turret had now joined the battle. As a Mekanist-class, I possessed a passive ability that strengthened my Towers as long as they were at full health. Which meant they could draw attention away from Argo while she chipped away at his HP.

Launching four more turrets, I then summoned my Minions, which looked like see through versions of my avatar. Ordering three of them to standby and the other two to man the turrets ( this would increase their accuracy), I glanced at Argo, who had finished laying her traps. As a Hosteliaran, she had the almost-exclusive ability to lay down traps that could only be set of by mobs. Once again nodding at me, Argo charged at Kanerdis.

Needles to say, he didn't like that.

A primal roar of anger signaled the battle's start.

Most Field Bosses summon other Monstirs to defend them. Depending on the Boss, this could happen either at the beginning of the fight, or when it's HP hits the Red Zone. Remember, you can even the playing field by using Tower Plays!

Mathew Reddeit grimaced. "Why can't these damn things be in English!?"

He had been in the tutorial for some time now, and quite frankly, it was pissing him off. After explaining the basics of the game ( in Japanese. Of course it was Japanese), which Mathew had already memorized before he left America, he had struggled to understand what it was the game was trying to tell him. It wasn't as if he didn't know how to play, but the game kept ordering him to use specific attacks, and wouldn't allow him to harm his opponent until he used the correct attack. He was starting to regret not learning Japanese.

Speaking of his opponent, it lunged at his neck once again, only to miss by inches as Mathew rolled out of the way. Turning around, he met three sets of eyes.

Though he knew next to nothing about mythology, even Mathew knew what he was facing. The title Serberus the Damned flashed above the feral black dogs head. Three heads moved about individually, one writhing in pain, one in anger, and one still as a statue. Powerful muscles rippled across it's body as it stalked around Mathew. Seven creatures of similar phenotypes lay still on the ground, slain by Mathew. Serberus had summoned them to occupy Mathew while it pounced on him. With that particular attempt botched, the two beings were now locked in a battle of reflexes.

Actually, Serberus was down to it's last HP, but needed to be killed by a turret. Of course, Mathew didn't know that.

As a matter of fact, everyone else had probably passed the tutorial by now. They could read the language.

"FUCKING JAPANESE!"

"FUCKIN' WOLVES!"

I fought back another chuckle as Argo cursed the mobs that were attacking her. I actually would have laughed, if Kanerdis wasn't trying to inpale me on his sword.

The Field Boss's Health was in the Yellow Zone, nearing Red. For about nine minutes we had bombarded the wolf-man with traps, explosives, and had even Launched a three-ton building on top of it. The turrets had run out of bullets ( Which reminds me, I thought, how come we can have high-powered turrets, but there's not a single gun in sight?) the Minions HP was dangerously low, and worst of all, Argo was being assailed by Dire Wolves.

Argo's character class was made to handle one enemy at a time as effectively as possible, and although her claws were sufficient for killing low-level mobs, she couldn't handle numerous mid-level mobs and cover me at the same time because of the multiple wolves that just kept coming.

Maybe we shouldn't have done this by ourselves.

Kanerdis's sword missed my neck by inches, as I back pedaled into one of my turrets. Using my superior speed, which was unusual for a Mekinist, I side-stepped another strike, the giant blade creating a deep crater in the Earth. The impact threw me off my feet, and I landed gracelessly in a pile of bones (no doubt Kanerdis's last meal). After recovering and dusting myself off, I looked up just in time to see the Boss lift his sword above his head. The demonic sword radiated red light. My eyes widened in panic. This was the Boss Sword Art Tenth Circle,a devastating attack that was infamous in the beta for its ability to kill a Lvl5 player with just one touch. If I didn't dodge that, I would restart back in the Heathcliff, leaving Argo to defend herself against a mob of Dire Wolves and one seriously pissed off Boss.

Speaking of Argo, she must have also spotted Kanerdis's Sword Art, as she turned her back on the mobs she was fighting and threw a small vial at me. Catching it, I realized it was a Half-Damage Syringe. A rare Injection-type medicine that would permanently boost your defense according to the monster you were currently fighting.

And here I was thinking she didn't care.

Quickly injecting myself with it, a feeling of power rushed through my veins.

Just as Kanerdis brought his sword down I rolled out the way. Not unscathed, as the sheer force once again threw me several feet away. After picking myself from the ground for perhaps the umpteenth time, I drew my launcher and fired my last shot, aiming directly at the Boss's head. That being done, I unsheathed my sword and charged.

One of the many exploitable features of SAO was the Sword Art Stance. In essence, it allowed you to prepare a "charged" Sword Art that you could unleash whenever you wanted without first having to start a Sword Art sequence. It sounded complicated, but the easiest way to explain it was that it was used to launch consecutive Sword Arts one after another. An opponent couldn't tell when you were going to use it as it didn't give of the tell-tale glow of a typical Sword Art. This feature was quite useful when you wanted to take down a tough foe without much effort.

Kind of like now.

As a general rule, I always kept the Sword Art Vertikus "locked" in my main weapon, used in case of emergencies. As I charged at Kanerdis, I also locked two more Sword Arts, Gladias and Horizon, into my blade. Finally, I slung the Anneal Blade over my back and prepared the strongest Sword Art I could use at Lvl6: Ragnarok.

And I unleashed it.

Ragnarok brought Kanerdis's health to the Red Zone. The blow was so powerful that he staggered. Quickly using Horizon, I further damaged him. He was on his knees now, labored breaths revealing his exertion. As Gladias hit him in the stomach, I watched his health deplete to a single point. I was going to finish him off with a Vertikus.

It was over.

Then he struck.

One of his razor sharp claws grazed my cheek as I back pedaled. He was desperate now, his AI telling him to do whatever it took to reduce me to nothing. I scrambled backwards, staying away from Kanerdis and his claws. Eventually, I hit a wall and could only watch as Kanerdis closed the gap between us.

And how my Tower Play finally arrived and crushed his head.

Kanerdis the Gluttonous had fallen, leaving Kirito the Black Blur 250 exp, 50 coll, a Mutant Pelt, and a pair of Wolfhide Gloves.

I collected my rewards and stored the gloves in my inventory. I could probably sell them for a decent amount of coll in the Heathcliff. A loud cough sounded to my left. Looking at Argo, who was just a bit too close, I saw her with an outstretched hand.

"Ya realize I expect you to split the rewards with me. Feel free to add 20 coll for the Syringe. Ya didn't even need it."

I smiled, glad Argo could battle a large group of Dire Wolves and still be unfazed. "Sure, whatever. It's not like I did most of the work."

"Kirito, you dumba-"

And just like that we fell into our normal routines.

For several minutes we walked through the tunnels and back to Beggar's Camp, acting like we hadn't just taken down a Boss that needed an entire Raiding Party to kill. Just another day in the life of Kirito the Black Blur. Well, one of the lives. There was something bothering me though, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Was it the fact that I had spent over three hours in this game and hadn't taken a break? Suguha wouldn't be home 'till late, but I still had to make it look like I attended school. Or was that it? I'd never skipped a day of school, and this was my first time playing hookey? No, not that either. What was it?

"I mean really Kirito, we could make a fortune selling hints about how to defeat Bosses-"

It had to be important, right?

"-you could be like me, selling info for coll, its alotta money-"

Otherwise I wouldn't have forgotten it? Or maybe it was just-

"-especially if you come out of a Boss fight with just a scratch on yer cheek-"

I stopped walking. Kanerdis had indeed given me a love tap on the cheek. Touching a finger to the injury, I winced in pain at the sharp stinging sensation that followed. Actual blood was on my fingers, crimson as the real thing. And then it hit me. It hurt.

"Argo?"

She turned around. "Hmm?"

I stared into her eyes. "In the beta, you couldn't feel it when you were hit, right?"

"Well duh, its illegal for the Nerve Gear to let you feel pain." She frowned. "Its so people can't take advantage of the technology."

I showed her my blood-stained fingers. "Then why does it hurt?"

Her face slackened. "What are you talking about? And is that bl-"

One second we were nearing Beggar's Camp, and in a flash of white I was in the by now familiar hull of the Heathcliff, surrounded by a large crowd of players.

What had happened? A forced teleport? No System Administrator could do that, not even in the Beta. Just what was-

Hello players, and welcome to my world. My name is Kayaba Akihiko.

The voice came from nowhere, and everywhere. My head rapidly turned in all directions, attempting to locate the source of the voice. When I found none, I noticed the looks on the faces of the other players. Most of them were grim, or looked like the life had been sucked out of them. Just what had happened? Surely they weren't terrified of a forced teleport?

This is a system announcement of grave importance. I sincerely hope you will all heed my words. I am afraid Sword Art Online is no longer a game. It is now your reality.

A gaggle of whispers penetrated the crowd, though most of the players still remained as stoic as before.

Some of you may have noticed that the Log Out button is missing, or that you are somehow feeling pain. These are not bugs, but a feature of Sword Art Online.

What?

I am afraid that until my conditions are met, no player that has logged in today will be logging out.

The whispers intensified, growing into yelling. Demands of what was happening, are you serious, and let us out, were but a few of the protests. The voice ignored them.

I feel it prudent to mention that if anyone attempts to remove your Nerve Gear, or your HP drops to zero, a small microwave inside the headset will trigger, essentially killing the brain, which in turn kills you. Windows of light appeared, each showing a news station with the headline: Cyber-Terrorist holds thousands captive.

What?

Unfortunately, some family and friends of the Players disregarded my warnings and removed the Gear. As a result, 200 Players have perished.

What the...

However, you need not worry. I have decided to give you a chance in order to save yourselves. These chances come in the form of three objectives, with only one needing to be completed. The first, is to conquer all 101 planets in the universe of Aincrad. The second, find my hiding place within Aincrad, breach it, and defeat me in a One-on-One Duel. The third...

What's going on here?

Is to locate and kill all former Beta Testers, of which there are 982 left in the game.

... WHAT THE FUCK'S GOING ON!?

I hope you all take my message to heart. Again, my name is Kayaba Akihiko, and welcome to Aincrad. Your new home.

Just as suddenly as we had been summoned, we were sent away. Right to where I had been standing with Argo in the forest.

I stared at the ground, unable to move. Was this real? If we died in the game, our bodies in the real world would die as well? Maybe this was just an elaborate joke, something the Admins had thought up to scare all the newbie players. Right? There was no way Kayaba Akihiko, the man I almost idolized, would trap us all here, right? There had to be something I was missing here. Clear the Game? Defeat the creator of said game? Kill the Beta Testers? No way anyone would do that. Someone from the outside would disconnect us, tell us they'd caught Kayaba, and tell us it'd all be okay.

The part of my brain that knew better said otherwise.

"Kirito?" Looking at Argo's face was surprising. Unlike usual, her face was in a state of worry, a departure from her normal mischievous self. "Are you okay?"

I lowered my face back to the ground. "No. Nothing's okay."

It was official.

We were fucking screwed.

AN: Just wanted to say that no, I didn't forget about the whole Mirror thing. I have something planned for that particular item in the future. Anyways, how'd ya like the chapter? I think I did a decent job, with the exception of the Boss fight. I get the feeling I rushed it. Oh well. Till next time.