A/n: Heyyy everyone! I just wanted to say thank you so much for the amazing amount of encouragement on this story, thank you to everyone who made over 50 reviews possible! This is my most reviewed story so I am so shocked and happy right now. That is truly incredible and means so much to me. It is unbelievable that the story has so many reviews and it is only three chapters in! That really makes me happy, and I'm glad that people like the story. So thank you once again. Shoutouts for reviewing: Thank you: cowgirlangel95, Smileychameleon, Jadebreeze95, Kdzgirl1129, HPMarvel, Addictive Fanfic Reviewer, Swiftie24, Ann-Elise, girlecupcake15, itsyourboyjp, LESHONTE, Madi, Jeremy Shane and MSFTSrep! I really wish I could thank you guys personally because it really does mean a lot.*Virtual hugs for everyone!*
Cory and Topanga decided to check up on the girls a half an hour later. They walked in the living room and saw that the two girls fell asleep on the couch.
"Awww" Topanga said. "They look so cute" Riley was fast asleep, head on the pillow and her arms around Maya. Maya's head was leaning on Riley's stomach. Her hair was covering most of her face. Topanga noticed the empty cookie plate and cookie crumbs all over the girls.
Both girls looked happier in their sleep. " I just wished they could wake up with that same smile" Cory said with a sigh. Topanga leaned her head on his shoulders. "They are going to be okay" she said reassuringly.
"I'm going to move them to Riley's room" Cory said trying to keep his voice low so Riley and Maya didn't wake up.
"Okay, I'm going to go fix up the bed" Topanga said as she went into her daughter's room. Cory carried Riley into her room, and laid her on her bed. Putting her head on her favorite heart shaped pillow, a gift from Maya. Then he carried Maya and carefully put her next to Riley without putting pressure on her wrist. Topanga pulled up the covers on the girls. She kissed them both on the cheek. "Goodnight girls" she whispered.
She walked over to Cory, then as they exited the room he whispered " Sweet dreams"
The next day Maya woke up dazed and confused. She stretched as all the events from yesterday hit her. She sighed, hating herself for letting this get out of control. She couldn't believe that she broke down last night. After all the times she lied and tried to hide her secret. All her work was useless. Riley! She thought. She scanned her best friends room looking for her. "Riley" she called, she turned around and found her best friend fast asleep. She sighed in relief.
Riley looked so happy when she slept. Maya really began to wish yesterday didn't happen. She wanted that smile on her face forever. Then one thing hit Maya. We fell asleep on the couch, she thought. How did we get here?
Maya tried to wake Riley up, hoping for an explanation. "Riley, rise and shine" Maya said. Riley woke up, and took in her surroundings. She looked as lost as Maya did. "How did we get here?" Riley asked, looking at Maya.
" I was hoping you were going to tell me" Maya said.
"Good morning girls" Topanga said, walking in the room with Cory by her side.
"Good morning mommy" Riley replied with a smile.
"Good morning Mrs. Matthews" she said still avoiding her eyes. She didn't want to look at them. They know about her cutting. Nothing would ever be the same.
"How did we end up in here?" Riley asked her parents.
"Well, since you guys fell asleep on the couch I carried you here" Cory explained.
"Thanks daddy" Riley said with her bright smile. She wanted to keep things normal for now. She did't want to pressure Maya into talking. Riley was she proud when Maya let out her emotions last night. But her heart broke when she saw Maya's cuts. All she wanted was for her to be happy.
"You carried me?" Maya asked, in shock. She could barely remember the last night someone moved her from the couch to her room. She was a little kid back then, probably six or seven. Before her parents arguing got really bad. She spent countless amount of nights asleep on the couch at her house, and woke up on the couch, Nobody was home to move her to her bed. Even if someone finally made it home, she doubted they cared for her comfort enough to move her.
"Yes, Maya. I did" Cory answered.
"Okay. So we have decided you girls both deserved a day for yourselves and there is things we still need to talk about" Topanga said. " So no school today"
Usually a sentence like that would cause Maya to be beyond happy. But she couldn't smile. She knew today was going to be as heavy as yesterday. Possibly even worst in a way, because the question of why she cut was never answered. She also knew that she still had her little weapon of self destruction in her back pocket. She was hoping they didn't take it away.
"So you girls go get ready for the day and the pancakes will be waiting for you" Topanga continued.
"Okay" Both Maya and Riley said.
They went to go freshen up and made their way to the kitchen table. While Topanga and Cory were eating, Auggie was drawing something.
"What are you drawing Auggie?" Riley asked curiously.
"A picture" he replied. Maya smiled at his answer. Riley laughed.
"Oh, really? What picture are you drawing?" Riley asked.
"A heart" Auggie answered.
"Making a card for your older woman?" Cory teased.
" No, it is for Maya" Auggie replied. Maya was suprised. Her and Auggie never really talked as much as the other members of the Matthews family. Mainly because she had nothing much to discuss to a five year old.
"Me?" Maya asked just to make sure.
Auggie smiled. "You are the only Maya here" He walked over to Maya and gave her the card. It was a drawing at red heart and the words feel better were written in adorable little kid handwriting.
"Mommy and daddy told me you weren't feeling very well" Auggie explained. "So I wanted to make you a card"
"Thank you Auggie" Maya said, giving him a hug.
Auggie smiled at her then went back and to his seat to eat.
"Maya?" Auggie asked.
"Yes, Auggie" Maya answered.
"Why do u have a bandage?" Auggie asked. It was innocent question. But it was difficult to answer. She didn't know what story his parents told him about her. She didn't want to mess it up.
Maya froze. She looked at Riley for help.
"She got a boo-boo Auggie" Riley said.
"Oh, okay" Auggie said, getting another piece of paper and continued drawing. "Hey Auggie, can you pass me a pink marker?" Riley asked.
Auggie passed her a pink marker. Riley took Maya's bandaged covered wrist, and drew a heart on the bandage.
"So you know I'll always love you" Riley said. Maya couldn't believe it. After everything that happened yesterday, Riley still loved her.
Maya pulled her into a tight hug. "I love you too, little plant" Riley smiled at her nickname.
Everyone finished eating.
"Alrighty Auggie, let's get up to your room, buddy. You can watch as much t.v. as you want" Cory said, taking Auggie and leading him into his room.
Topanga looked at Maya and Riley. " I know today is going to be difficult. But we are going to get through it, okay?"
They both nodded.
"Okay Maya. Why don't we start with a basic question. What did you use?" Topanga asked.
Maya looked away. She fought with herself mentally if she should just give her razor blade to them. She really didn't want too. But at this point she knew she had too. With Riley sitting there, looking at her in concern. Riley's hand finding hers again. The heart that Riley drew gave her a boost she needed to talk to them. But a voice in her mind begged her not too.
Maya sighed, she got the blade from her pocket. "Um, here" she said awkwardly. Topanga took it, and left it on the table. "Thank you, I know that took a lot of effort. I'm proud of you"
She was proud? Maya thought. She was so confused. Why is she proud? I didn't do anything special.
"So, do you feel comfortable talking about why?" Topanga asked.
Maya looked at Riley, she gave her a reassuring smile. "You can do it Maya" she whispered encouragingly.
Cory came back and sat down next to Topanga.
"I started a little while ago. It has been less then a year. But I felt like I have been doing it for longer." Maya started. Riley squeezed her hand.
"I feel like it's all my fault, you know? My parents hate each other. They always said they stayed together for me. I feel like I'm the reason they are unhappy. They never directly told me it was my fault. But I just felt like it was. I know it was. They hate each other so much. I was a mistake. A terrible mistake. I wish they could face each other, already.I don't want them together. I'm so scared that one day, I'll be like them. Unhappy. I don't want to be like that." Maya admitted, fighting back her tears.
"They argued and cursed. They would shout and yell. Some days they are home yelling, and some days they never come hoping to avoid each other. I hate it so much. I'm just so tired of it. One night, when neither of them were home. I started. I was reading a book, and one of the characters cut herself. It contemplated with the idea all night. Then finally, I did it. At first it hurt. But it never compared to the pain I felt when they argued. It was my way of releasing my pain." Trying to put her feelings into words was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. She felt her tears coming.
"I know you might think I'm crazy and stupid. I just don't want anyone to see me as pathetic. I didn't want anyone to know. I figured no one would care. I don't want to be anyone's burden. I just, wanted to feel okay. In some explainable way, when I cut I felt okay" Maya then let her tears flow freely. She saw that everyone was looking at the table, she went for the razor blade, without being physically aware she did. She quickly pulled away.
She leaned her head on Riley's shoulder, and cried. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry" she said as she cried.
Riley rubbed her back. "My Maya, nothing is your fault. You are not your parents, okay? You are going to live this beautiful, happy life" Riley promised.
Maya looked up. "Why do you guys believe in me, so much?" she asked.
"Because we know you. We know you are an amazing person. Who is worth it." Topanga said. She got a trash bag, and moved it towards Maya. "Now, I know you can throw that razor blade away"
Maya shakingly grabbed it. You can do this, Maya. she told herself. She slowly put it in the trash bag.
Riley hugged her. "Maya, I am so proud of you" Riley wiped her tears. "You should proud too" she said to Maya.
Maya felt a small sense of hope. Nothing big, her thoughts on herself forced to be stained with self-hatred in the dark corners of her mind. But she felt a little bit better.
Cory grabbed a marker. He looked at Maya. "May I?" he asked motioning to her wrist. She stretched out her arm. He wrote the word Strong.
Topanga grabbed a marker and wrote Smart and Amazing.
Riley grabbed the purple marker. "I know it is your favorite color" she said.
She wrote Beautiful and Perfect.
Maya felt like she was going to cry again. But it wasn't sad tears. It was happy ones. She had come to realize, she didn't need her family to help her. All she needed was people who cared. She loved the Matthews like family. Now she knows they love her the same.
She knew this wasn't going to easy. But she knew with The Matthews by her side, she knew she was going to be okay.
a/n: There is it is, the last chapter. I hope everyone liked the ending. I didn't want to drag on the story. Originally this was going to be a majorly long one-shot. But then I figured it was better in chapters. So I'm sorry if it was short and not what you expected. I didn't want the ending to be picture perfect and have Maya magically healed. So I tried to keep the tone happy, but not to the point where it in unrealistic. As a former self-harmer, it is really really hard. So I wanted to show that having hope and happiness is possible, but things aren't going to magically be better. Anyway, thanks to everyone who favorited and followed and reviewed. Thanks for making over 50 reviews possible. It truly amazing. I've received a tremendous amount of support and love on this fic, so thank you!
Also I've had some songs that I listened to while writing this that reminded me of the friendship between Maya and Riley. The songs are Two Worlds Collide by Demi Lovato and Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne. I hope you listen to them, they are amazing.
Enjoy your day,
xoxox
-Summer