title: horizon.
summary: It was a disconcerting thing to face down a kid who moved like a ghost.
pairing: canary x killua
chapter: 4. cloudless skies
disclaimer: I do not own Hunter x Hunter.
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Canary did not see Killua for a week after that.
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The Heaven's Arena.
"So that was where Killua-sama was for two years?" Canary asked, fingers sliding against her wooden staff. "The Heaven's Arena?"
"It's located on the far eastern side of this continent," Gotoh told her, peering over his thin-rimmed glasses as he did so. "A site for battle, if you would decide to call it that. It's a place where people come from around the world in order to fight and earn money. Killua-sama was sent there with the condition that he could only return if he made it to the 200th floor."
"It took him two years to make it to the 200th floor?" Canary asked, surprised. Killua was a young boy, but he was certainly not weak. If it took him that long to make it...
"Canary."
Canary instantly snapped to attention. "Yes, Gotoh-san?"
Gotoh pushed up the rim of his glasses, and then folded his hands on the desk. There was a hint of disapproval in his sharp eyes. "It's good to be curious, but only if you've finished your duties for the day."
Canary flushed, feeling unexpectedly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Gotoh-san," she said, and bowed. "I still need to meet Remilia-san."
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Flowers and fox teeth.
"Lilies?" Remillia asked Canary, arching an exquisitely shaped eyebrow. "I feel like lilies to you?"
Canary waved her hands helplessly, struggling to explain. "It-it's like...the smell of flowers, but more of a feeling than anything. And it's not just lilies. It's also...teeth. Small, sharp teeth, the kind that could kill you if you let it get to your throat. So...it's sort of a dangerous feeling, but also a soft one."
"And you're not anxious about it?" Remillia asked, and then plucked the syringe from Canary's arm. "The fact that I'm poisoning you right now, and that I feel dangerous?"
Canary felt flushed, but she didn't know if it was from embarrassment or from the poison seeping into her system. "It's hard to explain."
It really was hard to explain. Hilda, for instance, felt like warmed spice, but Canary knew from the way the short-haired cook handled her knives that she was still a fully trained servant of the Zoldycks. Zebro, on the other hand, felt like pumpkins, and she rarely got the feeling that he was dangerous.
Remillia shook her head, her dark reddish brown hair tumbling around her face in long waves. "Even though part of me thinks you're crazy, I do kind of understand what you're talking about. Gotoh-san's like that too, you know."
"Gotoh-san?" Canary asked, but nodded in understanding. After all, Gotoh was from Meteor City as well, although he had been gone for a much longer time than she had.
A fox-like smile appeared on Remillia's face, and she patted Canary's head almost affectionately. "I guess you all discern people differently. He said I reminded him of pile of seashells. Pretty, but sharp enough to cut you if you step on them."
She motioned for Canary to get to her feet, and Canary did so, wincing slightly. She'd been tested on all kind of poisons - the kind that numbed, paralyzed, left her drowsy and unresponsive, and others - but she hated the ones that induced nausea the most. She wiggled her fingers, grimacing at the way they reacted slower than she was used to, as if her limbs were disconnected from her brain.
She hopped up and down slightly, shaking her head to clear the vestiges of the numbing poison from her veins.
"See you next week," Remilia told her.
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A sharp blow to her stomach, pain pain pain, and she was left doubled over onto the ground, staff slipping from her sweaty palms, reeling at the shock.
Canary hissed through gritted teeth, fingers grappling once more for her staff.
This is what it is like to train, she told herself, this is what it means to be a Zoldyck butler. You must become strong beyond measure, so that they can depend on you.
This was the life she had chosen. Canary breathed, eyes fluttering closed briefly. She dragged herself onto her feet, turned to face the other butler, and raised her staff.
"Again."
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"Busy, aren't you, Canary-chan?" Hilda asked her when she returned from her training, breathing hard. "You're running around all the time, it seems."
"Can't help it," Canary told her with a smile, placing her staff against the wall, "I have a lot to catch up on."
"Well then, eat your dinner."
Canary took her place, and then paused. She glanced up Hilda, who was busy ladling soup into a heavy ceramic bowl. "Hilda-san," she began, "what happened while Killua-sama was gone?"
"You mean when he was sent to the Heaven's Arena?" The ceramic bowl thumped onto the wooden table in front her. Hilda stuck a spoon in, giving Canary a faintly quizzical look. "Why, this is surprising. I didn't think you'd be curious."
Canary flushed, and then managed a nonchalant shrug. "Only a little," she said uncomfortably.
Hilda laughed, but there was a falseness to her laugh, a distinctive edge of uncertainty. Canary frowned.
"Nothing important," Hilda told her. "Nothing important happened while Killua-sama was gone."
Canary nodded. She picked up her spoon, and took a sip of the soup. It was too hot; it burned her tongue.
She did not press Hilda for what really happened. Instead, she swallowed down the too-hot soup, and did not bring up the topic again.
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The sky glittered with stars when Canary slipped out of the butler's mansion, staff clutched in her hand. The marble stairs were cold against her bare feet. She sat down quietly, and took a deep breath. It was a little cold, but she didn't find it uncomfortable.
The door creaked behind her..
"Out late again, Canary-chan?"
Canary was not surprised. She turned around, and smiled sheepishly at Gotoh.
The older butler adjusted his glasses, moonlight glinting off his white gloves, and then moved forward, the door swinging shut behind him. He sat down beside her, limbs folding gracefully.
"Bed too soft?" he asked.
"No clouds in the sky," she replied, eyes drifting upwards to stare at the stars, rolling her staff lightly between her palms. "The stars are prettiest when there aren't any clouds." There had never been clouds in Meteor City.
There was a brief moment of silence; both of them looking up at the vast expanse of stars that swept across the night sky. Then she felt Gotoh shift beside her.
"...do you miss Meteor City?" he asked her.
Canary blinked, and then turned to him with another embarrassed smile.
"...Is it very obvious?" she asked.
Gotoh let out a chuckle, and shrugged, "I don't think so. But this is your home now. Don't forget that. We as butlers are meant to serve until the day we die as loyal servants of the Zoldyck house."
There was another quiet pause. Canary ran her hands against her staff, and wondered if she truly could ever feel that way about being a butler.
Gotoh stood, and smiled at her. "You should come back inside," he told her. "It's getting cold."
Canary glanced up at him, nodded, and then stood as well. She glanced back, at the dark, star-filled sky, and shivered.
"Do you miss it?" she asked Gotoh, suddenly feeling very childish.
"Me?"
"Meteor City," she said, "do you miss it? Ever?"
Gotoh chuckled again, lightly, and then adjusted his glasses. He swung open the door, and gestured to its darkened interior. "No."
Canary thought of the day she'd seen him, a lifetime ago, amidst piles of garbage, standing on cracked ground and beneath a blazing sun. She thought about the way he seemed so lonely, so out of place in his butler attire, and about the way he'd looked up at the cloudless blue sky.
I don't believe you, she thought. But she only bowed, and returned inside the mansion.
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Canary breathed deeply, feeling the cold air burn her lungs as she sucked in oxygen. It hurt, but it also lessened the ache in her muscles.
Eighth lap finished, she told herself. Only two more.
She really had built of some stamina, Canary grudgingly admitted, because she wasn't wheezing and gasping for air anymore, and despite her eighth lap all she felt was a slight burning in her legs. The terrain had not been easy to navigate, either.
She stretched a little, and was preparing to head back out to the estate gate when she felt it.
Not it. Him. A small presence, cleverly hidden, tucked unobtrusively in a tree. She stiffened automatically.
It had been a while since she'd seen Killua.
She turned to the tree. Even if she couldn't pinpoint Killua's body, she saw what could have been a flash of white hair and heard what could have been the scrape of a skateboard on wood. She hesitated briefly - should she pretend as if she hadn't seen him, or should she acknowledge his presence?
Too late. She had paused for a moment too long, and that was indication enough. Ignoring Killua now would only be considered rude.
Canary bowed low. "Killua-sama," she said.
When she looked up, he was standing in front of her, skateboard tucked under his arm. I've never quite gotten my head around how fast and silently he can move, she thought, unable to conceal the nervous tightening of her fingers around her staff. It was a disconcerting thing to face down a kid who moved like a ghost.
There was a definite awkwardness in Killua's expression, as if he didn't know what to do.
He looked disgruntled. "...You noticed," he finally grumbled.
Canary smiled faintly. "Yes, Killua-sama."
"Are you running? For stamina?" Killua shrugged, taking in her somewhat disheveled appearance. His bright blue eyes flickered down to her scraped knuckles. "Looks like you've been working hard."
"...Thank you, Killua-sama."
Canary was not arrogant - far from it, actually - but in her entire life she'd never quite understood the concept of limits. In Meteor City, she had rarely lived among others, and had developed a skewed sense of how strong she was. She was strong enough to fight, of course, although she disliked the raw fistfights that often occurred, and she was fast and resourceful. In all respects, despite her young age she had considered herself perfectly capable of fending for herself. It was simply the way that Meteor City worked. The city divided its inhabitants into those who could survive alone and those who could not.
Here, it was different. Here, she had realized for the first time that her strength did not meet the standard, that other people could run faster than her, swing harder, move with more grace than she thought possible. Here, she had realized that there were people like Killua.
The boy in question was currently scrutinizing her with an expression that was unreadable.
"Canary," Killua began, awkwardly, glancing at his feet. "About...about..."
We're not friends.
Canary's fingers tightened reflexively, and she found it suddenly hard to look at him, too. Instead, she shifted uncomfortable on her feet, swallowing.
"It's fine," she blurted, shoulders stiff, "I'm your butler, Killua-sama. You really shouldn't worry about anything concerning me."
There was an awkward silence, an awkward pause, and it took every inch of Canary's butler training not to shrink back and hide. Instead she just held her breath, and looked down at the ground, chewing the inside of her cheek.
"I just..." she heard Killua say, and when she peeked upwards he had an uncomfortable expression on his face, blue eyes downcast, "I just...wanted to...say sorry. About the other day."
...?
Canary blinked.
...a part of her was unexpectedly happy.
"It's fine, Killua-sama," Canary told him, and for some reason this time she meant it. She bowed, staff clasped by two hands in front of her. "I apologize as well. I acted in a way that was unfitting. Please forgive my impudence."
When she dared glance back at him, there was a relieved expression on his face, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. But then he wrinkled his nose faintly.
"Can't you just call my Killua?" he asked her, "it's weird to call you Canary while you address me with Master."
"...Killua-sama," Canary admonished lightly, "I'm not supposed to - "
"Then only if it's us two," he cut in, and folded his arms, frowning at her. "I mean, I know we're not friends. I'm your master and you're my butler. But I'm gonna order you to call me Killua when we're not in the presence of another servant or my family. You can at least do that, right?"
Canary hesitated, and then stretched her senses. They really were alone right now. For once, there was no butler or other servant watching.
Well, if no one can hear...
"...okay," she agreed, and a faint smile appeared on her face, her eyes crinkling, "...Killua."
His name without an honorific felt strange in her mouth, and she flushed immediately.
Killua looked unexpectedly pleased with himself. He hefted the skateboard tucked under his arm, and then grinned at her.
"Mother wants me back in time for another session of training before lunch," he told her. "Bye, Canary."
She hadn't even gone to Remilia's yet, but she found herself feeling dizzy anyway.
"B-bye," Canary stuttered, staring fiercely at the ground, thanking with every fiber of her being that her dark skin hid her blush, "K-Killua."
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When she returned to the butler's mansion, still feeling strangely dizzy, there was a troubled twist to Gotoh's face.
"Canary," he said, and was it just her, or did she feel a hint of apprehension in his voice? "you've never been to the main mansion before, have you?"
"No, Gotoh-san," she replied, and tried to smooth out the puzzlement on her face, trying to hide the butterflies inside her stomach. "I was under the impression that I would not enter the Zoldyck mansion until circumstances deemed it...necessary."
Gotoh straightened then, and while his expression remained neutral there seemed to be a certain stiffness in his movements. Canary frowned, but did not say anything. He stood from his desk, and leveled his sharp gaze at Canary.
"Has there been...something with Killua-sama, Gotoh-san?" Canary asked, tentatively. To her confusion, Gotoh shook his head.
"No," Gotoh said. He folded his hands in front of him. "You have been summoned to the family mansion."
This was not terrible news. She had, after all, been here for about a month. And she was under training to one day serve in the mansion anyway. Canary could not understand why Gotoh was acting so apprehensive.
"Who has summoned me?" Canary asked, frowning. "The mistress? Killua-sama?"
"No," Gotoh replied, his eyes narrowed sharply at her, "not this time. This time, you have been asked for by -"
And Canary felt her blood freeze.
"- Illumi-sama."
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"When?" she asked, her mouth dry.
Gotoh only smiled at her, but it was a thinly stretched smile. "As soon as you can. Your session with Remilia has been canceled for today. And Canary-chan -"
He hesitated. Canary swallowed, fingers wrapped tightly against her staff, feeling the bones of her hand press against the smooth curvature of the wood.
"Illumi-sama...is different from Killua-sama," Gotoh frowned, "so remember your training as an apprentice butler. And don't worry. While it's rare, Illumi-sama never does anything without reason."
Canary exhaled, felt the rhythmic contraction and expansion of her chest. She'd never really had any contact with the eldest Zoldyck brother before.
"Very well," she said, and then bowed.
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The Zoldyck manor was much larger than the butler mansion, but the architectural style was similar. Canary kept her posture stiff as she walked through the halls, trailing behind another butler. She was directed down a winding series of corridors and down two flights of stairs before she was brought in front of a forboding iron door.
This is the dungeon, she realized, somewhat grimly. When the doors swung open, she held her breath, unsure what to expect.
The room was surprisingly bare. In the dim light, Canary could barely make out broken chains on the far side of the room, a few faint mildew stains, and a desk with a chair. It smelled old and musky, but had a distinctly unsettling metallic tang of blood. In the middle of the room, a tall, long-haired man stood with his back to her. There was a kneeling butler at his feet.
Illumi-sama.
Canary stepped into the room, and instantly bowed. To her rising panic, the butler that had brought her down to the dungeon withdrew, and the doors creaked shut ominously.
When she lifted her head, she was finally able to get a glimpse of Illumi-sama, the one who had called her here.
Her fingers were wrapped so tightly around her staff that her knuckles were white. Illumi had long, smooth black hair, and a facial structure that would have been considered attractive if it weren't for his pitless, blank eyes. But it was more than that; whether it was in the way he looked at her, in the way a beast appraised its prey, or the way he stood, Illumi was terrifying.
Killua's older brother was absolutely terrifying.
This was the sole thought that crossed Canary's mind; it was the one thought that pervaded every inch of her body and froze her every limb; something dark and horrible and slithered around her chest like a snake, squeezing at it with cold, ghastly fingers.
Killua...Killua was warm. Killua was warm and bright, and dispassionately quirky, but very much alive. Illumi...
Illumi gave her the impression of a corpse, Canary realized with increasing panic. When she reached out to feel his presence, she got the distinctive feeling of corpses, and a hint of chemicals mixed with blood. She shivered, and averted her gaze, palms growing clammy. Never in her life had she felt such a disturbing presence.
"Girl with the staff."
His voice was cold, and yet unexpectedly melodious when he addressed her. Canary swallowed, and bowed low, fingers gripping her staff so tightly her knuckles had turned white.
"Illumi-sama," she replied, glad that her voice betrayed nothing besides a tiny waver.
"Come here."
She straightened, and approached the tall, dark-haired Zoldyck, careful to keep her eyes averted. She instead looked at the kneeling butler at Illumi's feet.
The butler was old, with a thin, weary face. She thought she could see the wisp of a beard, but his head was lowered, and his hands were shaking. Canary swallowed once again, and decided to look at her feet. She fought the urge to shiver.
"You are an apprentice butler, are you not?" Illumi's voice startled her.
Canary nodded. Her fingers were going numb from clenching at her staff so hard, and her palms were clammy.
"Good. You can't be that new, though. Do you see this butler in front of you?"
Canary took a deep breath, and nodded again, quickly.
Was it just her, or did she detect a curl of amusement in his next words? "Break his fingers."
"Illumi-sama - ?"
"Break his fingers," Illumi repeated, and all of his sudden his voice was deadly silk, and Canary could not suppress her shiver. "Use your staff. Smash it into his hands. I want every single one of his fingers broken."
She hesitated.
The next moment, Illumi had stretched his fingers out towards her, and she flinched hard, eyes now completely focused on the black pin only inches from her head.
"I-Illumi-sama," she stuttered, terrified, "m-may I ask what this man has done to deserve his fingers broken?"
"He tried to kill me," Illumi replied, smoothly, without a hint of emotion.
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And Canary -
- Canary fell silent, and realized, this place has changed me.
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"I see," she said, and lowered her head, "I apologize, Illumi-sama."
And she raised her staff -
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Meteor City had been solitary, but bearable. Her memory of her parents had been fuzzy and hazy, and from the very beginning, she'd been used to fending for herself. She'd disliked killing, but she'd done it before. Survival came before mercy.
But now? It had only been a month. She'd been through grueling training, subjected to poisons and antidotes and drugs, gone through lessons on etiquette over and over. She hadn't had to worry about food for a month. About survival.
Funny how it was at the house of a family of assassins, that she would come to consider killing as something unnecessary. Ironic, that she would have become averse to the idea of causing other people pain when she didn't know why.
How embarrassing, she thought, remembering Gotoh's words from yesterday evening, when they had sat in the chilly wind and stared up at the cloudless night sky. She'd always considered Meteor City to be her true home. But if she went back, would she truly be able to call it the same home she'd left?
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- and swung down, hard.
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The rounded end of her staff had taken on faint red stains that could barely be seen against the black, smooth wood.
Canary had not uttered a sound.
She lifted her staff, swung it back to her side. A trail of blood drips followed it. She turned to Illumi, and bowed, deeply.
"All of his fingers are now broken, Illumi-sama."
The silence was terrifying - it opened its maws like a monster, and for a moment, Canary was afraid it would swallow her whole. Then she heard Illumi shift.
"...apprentice butler. Look at me."
She obeyed, and looked up, but found herself unable to meet his eyes. Instead, she forced herself to focus on his chin. His stance was loose, and yet almost thoughtful. As if he was considering her.
And then - she felt it. Pure, unadulterated -
TERROR -
- and her body moved instantly. Canary recoiled as fast as she could, every ounce of butler training and composure thrown out the window as she crushed her presence, pressing into the corner on the other side of the room, as far away from Illumi as she could. Her staff clattered harshly against the wall as she braced herself against it, muscles tense and knees bent, ready to run. Or attack. At this point, her flight or fight response was warring sharply in her brain, her back jammed securely in the corner, expression something akin to a hunted creature.
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She had ground her presence into dust. For all intents and purposes, she was as noticeable as the shadow of a candlestick.
Illumi Zoldyck watched her reaction to his Nen curiously.
Then, the corners of his mouth lifted into what could only be described as the vaguest of smirks.
"Apprentice butler," he called, releasing his murderous aura, and letting it drift back into him, sighing as it settled into his bones, "what is your name?"
He saw her tense, drop to a crouch in the floor, holding the staff protectively in front of her. There was something feral in the way her thick dark hair flared around her face; something animalistic in her wary expression.
"My name is Canary," she said, tightly. "Illumi-sama."
"Canary," Illumi said, and let her name roll around in his mouth, feeling out her name. "You are young. About the same age as my little brother dearest."
"Are you are referring to Killua-sama, Illumi-sama?"
"Do not play sweet with me, Canary," Illumi replied dangerously, his voice low and devoid of inflection. "Kil-chan is the heir to this assassin family. It would be best to stay away from him. After all, assassins have no need for feelings."
She snapped straight, breathing nervously, fingers laced tightly around her staff. She did not try to come closer. Illumi withheld the faintest hint of a smile.
She was similar to Kil-chan, he decided, this little apprentice butler from the abandoned city. She was capable of being a machine, and an exquisite one at that. He'd always found that people from Meteor City were all similar in their ruthlessness. They were infinitely more malleable. He considered the thin needles in his hand. She had no knowledge of Nen, and even less of his needles - it would be simple, to force one into her brain, cut off all personality. He'd only done it once before, and the effects had been outstanding.
His hand lifted slightly, and it was interesting to watch her eyes flick to the movement, fingers grip tighter around her staff, weight shift onto the toes, heel twist lightly. An automatic response. He dropped his hand.
"But I will say...have you met my other brother, Canary?"
Canary. If his memory served correctly, canaries were birds often used in mine shafts as a warning for other miners. Anywhere with too little oxygen, and they'd stop singing and die. As a warning. Upon their death, the miners would know not to continue further, or they'd meet the same fate.
"Y-you're," she licked her lips, tensing, "other brother, Illumi-sama?"
"Yes," Illumi told her, and one by one long dark needles flicked into his hand, slipping between his fingers as naturally as sand, "my other little brother, who is the only one of our family not an assassin. He was locked away recently. A fragile one...that sweet Alluka-chan."
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notes:
- this story will be split in two. And I'm sorry for being gone so long.
- many thanks to Tasare, who caught a factual error! I forgot about Kalluto! I'm so sorry!