It was cold. The ice biting, unforgiving cold that would never leave my skin even when the warm, snuggly blankets were wrapped around me. Memories from years ago kept popping into my mind, making me struggle to fall asleep. It had been a few months, I think, since the Phantom Troupe broke into my old home and the man threatened me. It took me a while, but now I knew why he looked eerily familiar. He was the man wearing the blue shirt. Immediately, before the police left the house, I told mommy about the man (I did not tell her that we met when I was seven) so she can tell the police about him, but her face paled and contorted into a mixture of panic, horror, and fear. She never told the police; instead, we moved far, far away from Ubec City into a rural city.
But even there, one of the Phantom Troupe attacked a famous jewelry shop and killed those who were inside, and though we were not involved, mommy wanted us to move again. And again. And again. And again.
A memory then flashed into my mind...
"WHY DO WE KEEP MOVING, AREAL?!" Shouted Uncle Larry in complete frustration. The toll of always moving around and never staying in one place was getting to him. We were already on our 5th apartment complex this time and right now, it was almost midnight. I was supposed to be asleep, but the shadows kept me up so I wanted to sleep with my parents. Currently, I was peeking into their room, curious of the development that was happening.
Mommy started to sob and I felt the shadows creeping in. "HE'S BACK, OKAY?!" The anger and anxiety in Uncle Larry's face broke into silent realization. My brows furrowed at this new found information. Was mommy talking about the creepy man?
"But, you said..."
"I know what I said, okay?!" Mommy hissed in a whisper. "After Maria gave me the details of that man, I knew it was him. The same man who..." I leaned forward to hear better, but mommy was whispering too quietly.
Uncle Larry ran his fingers through his blonde hair. "I-I see...I'm sorry for shouting at you. I understand now the seriousness of our situation." I frowned. Wasn't our situation already serious?
"Y-You won't leave?" Uncle Larry laughed.
"Of course not... I love you and our children." Seeing that they were now calm, I knocked the door and peeked my head in.
Quickly, mommy wiped away her tears. "M-Maria, why are still up?"
"I had a bad dream."
Uncle Larry smiled. "Okay, little rascal, you stay here between mommy and I." Once I stepped into the light of the room, the shadows screamed at me to return back into the dark. I wonder then when did I get use to their moaning voices.
I shivered as the temperature in the room dropped and snuggled myself deeper into the comforts of my blankets. My body was still quite active and my brain refused to sleep as it kept popping up memory after memory into my mind.
Soon, I fell asleep.
"Sh-She's beautiful..." I was standing in what looks like a pile of dump and my nose crinkled at the various smells wafting the place. The voice sounded closer to where I was standing and my body moved like a robot towards where the voice was.
My breath hitched catching sight of a dirty woman, blood coating the lower half of her dress. "Mommy?" I called out, but the woman didn't hear me as she cooed the little bundle in her arms. I wanted to move closer, but my feet refused to move, glued to the garbage filled ground. A man stood beside her with a joyful smile, his hand ghostly touching the bundle's head.
Mommy had another child. The thought sounded like a question than a statement. My eyes moved to the man with a heavy heart, sadness filling it to the brim. They look so happy. This doesn't look like a dream. I never had dreams. Only nightmares. Yes, this was a nightmare.
"My beautiful daughter..." The man breathed happily and kissed mommy on the head, tears of joy trickling down his tan cheeks. Standing there watching the two happy parents, I wondered what happened to him and the child. Why did mommy leave such a happy family and made me?
Mommy turned to the man. "What should we name her?" The man looked over the bundle and he smiled lovingly.
"She is a born miracle...Mireya. Yes, her name will be Mireya." Mommy smiled back and kissed the baby on the head.
"No matter what happens, I will protect you, my darling Mireya..." Mommy whispered, hugging the bundle closer to her chest. "My darling miracle." My chest tightened and I ran away from the family with tears running down my face. The trashy surroundings slowly faded away into darkness, the shadows seemingly laughing at my pain.
"SHUT UP!" My hands wiped away the flooding tears. This is just a dream, a nightmare. I should be happy, I know I should be. It would be mommy's happiness that she never met daddy and stayed with that man and her daughter.
But what about me? If mommy never met daddy, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have met Ichi, Ni, and San. I wouldn't have met mommy. The latter hurt most of all. Why am I overreacting though? This was just a stupid dream. When I wake up, mommy and Uncle Larry will greet me at the table then I'll play with the triplets. I sniffed. Yes, that's right...this was just a nightmare.
"A MEMoRy. ItS a mEmORY. ITSSS A MEmOry. A MEMORY." The shadows chanted in different gurgling voices. I shook my head. Shadows are liars. Wrong, they're wrong. This was just a nightmare.
The happy family, even in such a disgusting environment, appeared in my mind and I screamed.
"M-Maria! Wake up!" The darkness turned to light as my eyes snapped wide open. Sweat clung uncomfortably to my skin and my heart hammered in my chest. A soft hand touched my cheek and my tired eyes flickered to mommy. Dark bags weighed under her eyes, but she looked wide awake as she wiped away the sweat on my face.
"Maria, did you have another nightmare?" I jumped into her arms and cried into her chest, nodding vigorously. Mommy hummed, stroking my back, and rocked back and forth trying to lull me back to sleep. "Ssh, ssh, its okay...mommy's here... Mommy's here.." My mind drifted away and my eyes start to close. With half-lidded eyes, I looked to the door briefly seeing the shadows struggling to push through. I smiled before letting the darkness take over.
Mommy was the only one the shadows never touched.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid girl haha...HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA."
This time everything surrounding me was completely dark. I began to move when a dim light flashed just a couple meters away from me. The earth beneath me was sticky and wet, which made my feet struggle to keep moving forward towards the light.
Finally, for what felt like hours, I arrived. Air was plenty lost and my legs screamed for rest. It was just a dream, yes, but it felt all too real. I stepped into the light and my feet was free from the sticky earth. I looked down, expecting dirty shoes, but I was only bare foot. No dirt in sight.
"Psst." At the sudden voice, I looked up, but saw only the eternal darkness. My eyes flickered down again and there laid a knife...a kitchen knife to be exact. There was no ounce of hesitation as my left hand picked up the knife. The blade was dull and it looked rusty with red encrusting into the silver.
"Maria." Goosebumps ran up and down my skin at the familiar, eerie tone and I turned to see nothing but the darkness.
"It isn't dormant now." I turned again, but only saw the darkness. Subconsciously, my fist clenched the knife.
"You know, don't you?" My breath hitched as he breathed into my ear. The knife slashed for his face, but he wasn't there.
"Wh-What are you talking about?!" I wanted to wake up, but it only ever gets worse unless it was mommy or Uncle Larry who did it.
His sinister chuckle bounced around me. "You killed daddy." A childish voice giggled and I grit my teeth.
"I DIDN'T. YOU DID!" Mocking laughter replaced the man's voice; various tones mixing into one terrifying one.
"Wrong. Wrong. Wrong." A sharp finger tapped me in the middle of my back. "You did. You did. You did it!"
My eyes flashed in anger. "SHUT UP! YOU'RE ONLY CONFUSING ME SO YOU CAN TAKE OVER AGAIN!" I breathed heavily. "I-I won't let you... I won't."
A heavy hand clutched my left shoulder and my head whipped to see the man in the blue shirt. My face lost its color when I looked into his eyes. The same one as the Phantom Troupe member with the cross tattoo. I tried to back away from him, but his hold was strong. "Maria, Maria, Maria..." His pale face leaned towards mine, a sickening smile on his lips. "You still don't realize, don't you?" My eyes narrowed and it made his smile widen. "Your shadows...are you." His voice mixed in with the terrifying one and his eyes turned black.
"Liar! I won't listen to you!" I finally broke away from the death grip, my shoulder numb of feeling. "This is just a nightmare...a world where the shadows can torment me." I hissed, but he only smiled. When I blinked, he was gone.
"Your choice...your choice..haha, stupid, stupid girl haha." My body froze both in horror and fear as the shadows slithered into the light. "Remember...your fault...your choice...haha." My mouth opened to scream when one was about to grab me, but the shadows began to hiss in pain, going back into the darkness.
"Stop getting nightmares...its frustrating enough to see you like this." A husky voice echoed and it made the light expand, making the shadows scream. "Don't let them take over. I don't like seeing you so frightened over something so..." Smooth, yet rough hand cupped the sides of my face, but when my hand touched my cheek, there was nothing there. "Damn it...why the *beep* am I doing this..." The voice cursed, sighing. Something brushed my hair, ghost fingers caressing my head.
"Who...are you?" I shouted and the caress stopped.
"Ha...you asked the same thing before..." The hand left me and my eyes widened in panic as the darkness slowly ate away the expanded light.
"No! Wake me up, PLEASE WAKE ME UP!" My eyes flickered to the knife and without hesitation, I...
"AH!" I jolted up from my bed and looked around panicked and scared. My racing heart began to calm once I realized I was really awake. My right hand touched my chest where the knife pierced through and I gulped in loads of air.
That's when I remembered.
"Someone...was here with me..." This was supposed to bring fear, instead, I felt relieved. That person stopped the shadows from taking over me. I smiled.
"Thank you..." I whispered, but then slapped myself for being stupid. It was plain creepy speaking to myself. After a few seconds, a yawn soon escaped my throat and my eyes drowsily start to close. I was scared of going back to sleep; it would ensue another nightmare.
"Stop getting nightmares..." His comforting voice echoed in my mind and that was all it took for my anxiety to disappear.
As my mind slowly drifted away into a cloud of nothingness, I briefly wondered why this person could make all my fears go away...so different than my parents...than mommy.
"He knows about the shadows." As the words left my mouth, the lulling darkness took me away into a dreamless state.
It was the first time I slept without a nightmare and the shadows never tried to take complete control of my mind. It was just beautiful rest.