Chapter 3 - Feelings

It's Monday. I've been dreading Monday. I don't want to see either Kouga or Kagura. I'm still disturbed by what I saw on Friday. The idea of cheating on someone, I really can't wrap my head around it. And here they both are, sleeping with each other. And at work because they can't go to each other's homes.

I think what bugs me the most is that Kagura always says how much she loves her fiancée. But, here she is sleeping with another man. At work.

I sighed, feeling sick to my stomach as I parked my car at work. I looked at the cookies that I had saved for Kouga. Should I act like I forgot? Nah, he saw me put them away for him. I don't want to talk to him though. Maybe I'll just try my best to look super busy so he doesn't bug me. That will only work for so long, though.

I made a b-line for my desk and got right to work. I started making calls to customers who had left voice mails over the weekend to keep myself busy. I mostly kept my head down, never really looked up when people walked by unless I was spoken to.

Only one very slow hour went by before my boss came to see me.

"Have you heard from Kagura today?" he asked me knowing Kagura and I spoke quite often. I shook my head and left it at that. I do not want to be involved with what might unfold in the near future.

He forward his brows in annoyance. Not at me but at the fact that Kagura is late and she hasn't bothered to call and let us know what was up. Had I not been here the place would be a mess.

No more than fifteen minutes later Kagura finally walked in. She looked like a complete mess. Kagura refused to make eye contact with me, too. Of course the second she walked in our boss called her into his office to discuss her unreported absence.

Ten minutes later she walked out looking absolutely miserable. She went straight to her desk without saying anything to anyone. I just kept to myself, I still don't want to talk to her.

I don't know why I'm so mad at her. What they are doing has nothing to do with me. I guess I'm just really disappointed in her. I expected more from Kagura I guess.

Lunch eventually came and went and I still haven't heard from Kouga. Did Kagura tell him I saw what happened? I sure as hell hope not, I do not want to be involved with this.

When lunch came, Kagura disappeared pretty quick. I guess she can't stand to be at work right now near me. She's probably mortified at the whole ordeal from Friday.

I was just sitting at my desk finishing the salad I had packed for lunch and browsing through my phone when Kagura actually came and sat down on my customer chair.

"I want to talk to you." She said, barely able to make eye contact with me.

I sighed. I don't want to talk to her. "What's up?"

"I know you're probably upset about what you saw the other day." She admitted to me. That's an understatement. "I just want to explain myself."

I raised an eyebrow to her. What is there to explain? She cheated on her fiancée with someone who has a girlfriend.

"What I did is really shitty, I know." She admitted. "And there are no excuses."

I sighed. "Kagura, you don't need to explain yourself. It's none of my business and I'll keep my mouth shut." I said to her.

"That's not what I want from you." She said. "Well, I appreciate that you won't say anything. But we're friends and I know you're disappointed in me and I just don't want you to hate me because of this because I know how you feel about it."

Of course she's avoiding the word 'cheating'.

Our boss walked in and told Kagura to get back to work. I guess she lost her lunch since she came in so late. Kagura sighed and did a texting motion signaling she would text me later.

We decided that we would meet up for coffee tomorrow evening so we could talk without being interrupted with work related things. I'm really not looking forward to it, but we are friends so I'll give her the chance and see what she has to say.

I did ask if she said anything to Kouga and she hasn't. They haven't even talked since Friday. I guess they can't text each other while they're home. Go figure.

Almost the whole day went by and Kouga never popped in. Of course the stars just don't want to align today. Half an hour before the end of the day, Kouga came in demanding for the cookies I had saved for him.

I tried to keep my cool. I tried to act like I know nothing. But I'm a terrible actor and Kouga asked what was wrong with me. I just said that I had just gotten my syllabuses for my summer classes and they stressed me out to the max. That's the furthest from the truth, though. Summer classes are pieces of cake.

Our conversation was very strained. There wasn't much to it. Thankfully he was stuffing his face with the cookies most of the time anyways.

He said I looked pretty stressed out and that he'd talk to me later. Thank god. That ten minutes felt like eternity. Thankfully he fell for my bullshit excuse though and didn't catch on to the fact I knew something I probably shouldn't.

-x-

It's Tuesday evening and I'm waiting at a little coffee shop for Kagura. It's a quiet family owned one that not many people go to. The atmosphere is calm and it's honestly the only coffee shop I like.

Kagura finally arrived about twenty minutes late. I'm already frustrated. I've had almost my whole coffee already because I was bored waiting for her.

She walked in the shop looking very stressed and upset. "I'm sorry. Hiten doesn't believe that I'm having coffee with you." Gee, I wonder why.

"That sucks." I said, dryly.

"I know what I did was really, really wrong. But the past few months, Hiten has been treating me pretty poorly." She began.

Kagura vented for nearly an hour. Hiten has cheated on her with multiple girls over the course of the year. He's become very controlling and emotionally abusive. Normally I'd be taking everything she's saying by a grain of salt, but what she's saying sounds exactly like the situation I was in a few years ago.

I guess Kouga has been making her feel better and she's been falling for it. Based on what she's saying, it's so obvious that he's only using Kagura for a good fuck. She told me a little bit of Kouga's situation with his girlfriend Ayame. They've been together for five years and they met the exact same way he met Kagura, at work and behind his then girlfriend's back.

So it looks like Kouga is a chronic cheater. Apparently he only started dating Ayame because his ex caught him cheating and Ayame was just there at the time. As if she thought he'd stay faithful to her.

Throughout our visit, my anger for Kagura started to fade away. I know how she feels right now. While I made a different decision then she did, I understand how trapped and lonely she feels.

From the sounds of it, she has no friends. Her family lives two hours away so it's not like she can just pack up and go home to her parents. Hiten is literally the only person in her life that she can 'depend' on. It's really sad, really.

Unfortunately because of this loneliness, Kouga is making her feel wanted. Because Kagura is feeling wanted by Kouga, she's letting him use her. I don't know whether or not Kouga knows the extent of how bad things are between Kagura and Hiten but he is definitely using her vulnerability to his advantage. It's making me sick someone would do that to a person.

I honestly do feel like I am in high school, though.

Our visit together ended up being a lot shorter than I had expected, though. Hiten started to blow up Kagura's phone demanding that she returned home.

I feel bad for her now. She's in a bad situation. I really do hope that Hiten isn't physical with her. I have yet to see bruises on her body, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. Clothes can easily hide them.

I told Kagura that if she needed to talk to someone or any kind of help to text or call me. I feel for her now.

Kouga, on the other hand, I could give no shits about. Honestly, if I didn't feel so bad for Kagura now I'd want him fired. Like, who the hell does that to a girl?! Not to mention sleep with her at work. They are so lucky it was me that caught them and not our boss. They would have been canned on the spot.

-x-

I had waited all night last night to hear from Kagura hoping that she was okay, but no text came from her. It's a new day at work and Kagura thankfully showed up right on time today. She looks awful though.

I have a feeling that meeting up with her last night might have been a bad idea. They probably got into a huge fight over it. I gave her a look saying 'I hope you're okay' and she forced a smile back. At least now she knows that she has someone that will be there for her when she does need help.