Damn… Could it be that I actually like writing this piece of crap fanfiction?
… Nah, I'm just desperate to break my writer's block. Break, damn you! Break!
Oh well, in the
tradition of Toonami, I present a few character promos for your
perusal, from Evangelion: AI. Yes, I'm glad I chose a title that
can form a fun acronym.
(Scene is that of Shinji playing his cello, framed by a purple border with his name scooting across the bottom)
NARRATOR: Shinji Ikari. The Third Child. Pilot of Unit One.
(Scene is of Shinji looking grim in his plugsuit, as Gendo glares back.)
NARRATOR: His father and SEELE planned to use him to initiate Third Impact.
(Scene switches to Asuka and Rei in a tug-of-war with Shinji's arm)
NARRATOR: Bet they didn't plan on this.
ASUKA: Back off, Wondergirl!
REI: I will not.
ASUKA: He's mine, dumbkoff!
REI: No he's not.
SHINJI: (sighs, tears streaming from his eyes) Oh boy…
(Scene switches to a stylized Evangelion logo)
NARRATOR: Evangelion: After Impact. Weekdays at five-thirty.
(Scene becomes Shinji screaming in Unit One as he charges an MP Eva)
NARRATOR: They grow up so fast… Only Toonami!
(Scene is that of Rei looking out the window in class, framed by a bright blue border with her name scooting across the bottom)
NARRATOR: Rei Ayanami. The First Child. Pilot of Unit Zero.
(Scene becomes Rei and Shinji watching the sunset from a hill.)
NARRATOR: Once a mere pawn in Gendo Ikari's scenario, the arrival of the Third Child changed her forever.
(Scene switches to Rei in her plugsuit, kissing a blushing Shinji on the cheek.)
NARRATOR: In a good way.
(Scene switches to Asuka yelling about something in class. The camera closes in on Rei's face.)
ASUKA: And furthermore-!
REI: Shut up.
ASUKA: (turns around, wide-eyed) WHA!
(Scene switches to a stylized Evangelion logo)
NARRATOR: Evangelion: After Impact. Weekdays at five-thirty.
(Scene is of Asuka gaping at a smiling Rei)
NARRATOR: It's always the quiet ones… Only Toonami!
(Scene is that of Asuka in her yellow sundress, smirking and waving her arm at Unit Two, framed by a red border with her name scooting across the bottom)
NARRATOR: Asuka Langley Sorhyu. The Second Child. Pilot of Unit Two.
(Scene becomes Asuka laughing in Unit 02, as she fires rocket launchers at an Angel.)
NARRATOR: Fearless in battle, confident in life, she always gets what she wants. No matter the cost.
(Scene switches to Asuka grabbing Shinji's hand and smirking at him.)
ASUKA: C'mon, you're buying me dinner!
SHINJI: But uh-Hey!
(Scene switches to Asuka hitting Shinji over the head in Misato's kitchen)
ASUKA: You pervert! Grow a spine already!
SHINJI: AUGH! HEY! Quit it!
NARRATOR: Lucky Shinji.
(Scene switches to a stylized Evangelion logo)
NARRATOR: Evangelion: After Impact. Weekdays at five-thirty.
(Scene is of Asuka giving the victory sign in a holoscreen)
NARRATOR: Don't mess with perfection... Only Toonami!
(Scene is that of Touji looking out at Unit Three, framed by a black border with his name scooting across the bottom)
NARRATOR: Touji Suzuhara. The Fourth Child. Pilot of Unit Three.
(Scene becomes Kimiko sitting in the entry plug, turning into LCL. Switch to shot of Touji watching in horror)
TOUJI: KIMIKO!
NARRATOR: His sister made the ultimate sacrifice to give him the chance to fight and live.
(Scene switches to Touji fingering flowers in front of a grave.)
NARRATOR: He's not going to waste it.
(Scene snaps to Touji in Unit Three, with a positron rifle charging up.)
TOUJI: (looking determined) You're going down, scumbag.
(Unit Three fires the rifle, utterly annihilating an MP Eva.)
(Scene switches to a stylized Evangelion logo)
NARRATOR: Evangelion: After Impact. Weekdays at five-thirty.
(Scene is of Touji smiling at Unit Three, before turning and walking out of the Eva bay. Closeup on the Eva's face. It's eyes glow green.)
NARRATOR: The power of family ties... Only Toonami!
(Scene is that of Andrew, standing and saluting in a blue US Air Force uniform, framed by a white border with his name scooting across the bottom.)
NARRATOR: Andrew Stewart. The Sixth Child. Pilot of Unit Four.
(Scene becomes Andrew in the back of a two-seater F-22, his eyes closed behind his face mask as the fighter pulls a high gee maneuver.)
NARRATOR: Born and raised in a military family, honor, duty, and loyalty are a way of life. In the air, he has no equal.
(Scene switches to Hikari smiling shyly at him in front of the school.)
HIKARI: So, I hear you know how to fly.
ANDREW: (shrugs with a sheepish smile) I've done a little…
(Scene switches to Unit Four, flying on MP Eva-style wings, racing through the ruins of Old Tokyo, water being kicked up in his wake. Shot of Andrew in the entry plug, his face determined.)
NARRATOR: It's the things on the ground that still need work.
(Scene is of Andrew trying to cook, with Shinji nearby. Andrew's pot goes up in flames, and he screams)
ANDREW: AUGH! (tries patting it out)
SHINJI: Hey you've gotta stay focused!
(Scene switches to a stylized Evangelion logo)
NARRATOR: Evangelion: After Impact. Weekdays at five-thirty.
(Scene is of Andrew accidentally walking into a stop sign and falling back, spinny-eyed. Hikari rushes over.)
NARRATOR: Keeping your head in the clouds... Only Toonami!
(Scene is that of Mana, sitting in an entry plug in a metallic blue and purple plug suit, framed by a dark blue border with her name scooting across the bottom.)
NARRATOR: Mana Kirishima. The Seventh Child. Pilot of Unit Five.
(Scene becomes Mana firing a USP at several black-suited men.)
NARRATOR: Once a spy for SEELE, she joined NERV in order to help save the world.
(Scene switches to Mana glomping Shinji from behind. Asuka nearby snarls.)
MANA: You're not going to let this brat talk that way to your girlfriend, are you Shinji dear?
ASUKA: GIRLFRIEND!
SHINJI: No! It's not like that! I swear!
NARRATOR: As well as a few other things.
(Scene is of Mana, dressed only in a towel, emerging from the bathroom. She smiles sexily at a blushing Shinji)
MANA: What did you say, Shinji dear?
SHINJI: Um, I-I-I…! Uh…
(Scene switches to a stylized Evangelion logo)
NARRATOR: Evangelion: After Impact. Weekdays at five-thirty.
(Scene is of Unit 05 punching Unit 02, the red Eva stumbling back before charging, tackling Unit Five into the ground)
NARRATOR: All's fair in love and war... Only Toonami!
Allright, enough of that. Back to the story.
"Okay, explain this to me again." Misato looked about the empty Eva cage, while Ritsuko worked at her laptop furiously. The blonde didn't spare her a glance.
"Yes?"
"How are we going to stop your mom, who has control of the MAGI, with only one Eva that you're running on…" Misato bent over and looked at Ritsuko's screen. She blinked.
"Windows 2015!" Ritsuko blushed.
"My MAGI-run machine is at home. Suffice it to say, this computer is actually too simple for the MAGI to override." Misato blinked again.
"… Care to run that by me again?"
"There are only so many ways for the MAGI to access a computer," Ritsuko explained. "One is through wireless transmission. Another is through a hardline. This computer has neither, so the MAGI can't access it in the first place." Misato blinked once more, and looked over at the steadily unwinding phone jack line roll. She shook her head.
"This has got to be the craziest idea you've ever come up with," the major sighed. Ritsuko nodded, typing a few new commands into the computer.
"Tell me about it. Allright, you can talk to him now. Just try not to talk for too long, the connection's tenuous as it is." Misato grumbled something regarding spears and cave drawings, as she accepted the combo headphones/microphone.
"Touji, can you hear me? Over." A brief bout of static followed.
"Roger that, Major. Over."
"What's your status, over?"
"Three minutes, thirty seconds on the battery. And I'm right where Ritsuko's directions tell me I should be. So now what do I do? Er, over." Misato looked at the blonde. She mouthed 'jump'. Misato nodded.
"Just jump, Touji. Over." There was a pause.
"You're fucking kidding me. It's like a five hundred foot drop! Over." Misato grimaced.
"Look Touji, we don't have a lot of time! So just jump already! You guys can take it! Over!" Another pause.
"Am I still getting paid for this? Over." Misato raised an eyebrow at Ritsuko, who shrugged.
"I'm sure we can convince the commander to open their funds up to them," she said. Misato winced.
"We'll get back to you on that, Touji. Over."
Naoko Akagi smirked as the massive doors of Heaven's Gate at last came into view. It had been eleven long years, trapped within this monstrosity. She'd hoped she would at last be free when the doll self-destructed Unit Zero-Zero, but the damned core had remained intact. Naoko had felt like weeping pitifully the moment she realized she was still trapped.
But then… She'd felt it. They were the touches of another mind, trying to probe her innermost thoughts. She seized onto the mind, and drew it into her own, ignoring the agony this act brought.
She then smiled. For this child, with all of her powerful abilities, was nothing more than a weak little girl hiding behind her resume. SEELE had experimented on her, turning her into a living weapon. All because she'd wanted to become an Eva pilot. Her telepathic abilities would have allowed her to seize control of NERV for SEELE without them firing a shot.
But Naoko Akagi's inner darkness and torment were more than enough to wipe out the pitiful child's mind and replace it with her own.
Now, she reflected, smiling in her new, youthful, beautiful body, now I have my revenge!
Rokubungi would lose many things dear to him this day, she would guarantee it. If he somehow stopped the self destruct, the MAGI would lobotomize themselves and be rendered useless. If it did go through, he'd lose his life and his precious Evas.
But Naoko wanted Gendo to watch as she took Lillith's body and destroyed it herself, removing his hope for recovering Yui. Breaking him, before the end.
The perfect revenge.
Unit Zero at least reached the doors to Lillith's chamber. She raised up her hands, preparing to blast the doors open with her AT Field…
When the doors blasted back, falling on top of her. She let out a surprised scream as several hundred tons of metal and stone smashed her into the ground, burying the bright blue Eva in rubble.
Eva Unit Three stepped out of Lillith's chamber, carefully walking over the piles of debris.
"Damn, glad I thought of that first," Touji mused. He felt an impression of amusement in the back of his mind, and smiled.
"Touji? Touji, do you read? Over."
"Roger that, Major. I read. Unit Zero is toast. Over."
"Ritsuko asks if you crushed the core? Over." Touji blinked, and recalled that this was the same core that survived Unit Zero's self-destruct.
"Oh shi-"A bright blue form burst out of the wreckage, grabbing Unit Three around the neck and tackling the black Eva into Lillith's Chamber. Touji gasped as the cyclopsian Evangelion kept running, finally crashing both biomechs into the vast lake of LCL surrounding the Second Angel.
"GAH!" The grip on his throat became more pronounced, cutting off his air supply. He struggled with his assailant, grabbing Unit Zero's wrists and pulling as hard as he could.
"Bet you wish they'd kept the extending arms the Angel gave your unit, huh boy?" Taunted a voice over the radio. Touji gritted his teeth as his vision began to grow dark.
"I've had more experience at strangling than you'll ever know, you stupid bastard," snarled Naoko, relishing the feeling of a neck in "her" grip once more. Touji finally managed to flip then over, slamming Unit Zero into the lakebed.
"AUGH! You son of a bitch!" Touji breathed deeply as the grip on his throat at last vanished. He pulled both of Unit Zero's arms as hard as he could, planting his feet into the blue mech's stomach for greater leverage. He then gave a mighty yank-
"AAIIIEEE!" Unit Three burst onto the surface of the lake of LCL, clutching the detached arms of Unit Zero. Touji quickly swam to shore, pulling himself out of the blood-like liquid and kneeling.
"Touji? Touji, do you read? Touji!"
"I'm fine Major. Got about a minute of power left," Touji responded. He took a deep breath. "She's going to be coming up after me any second. Where's the core? Over?"
"Ritsuko says it's either in the unit's head, or its chest." Touji blinked.
"Wah… Which is it?" Misato could be heard screaming in the background, as Ritsuko's voice came on.
"Hey, you'd forget too if you had as much work as I do! Keeping track of all the Evangelion's different parts isn't remotely easy!" Touji would have responded, had Unit Zero not come roaring out of the lake, its bone mask broken and its teeth bared.
"Tis but a flesh wound, bitch!" Naoko screeched, charging at Unit Three. Touji began to move… But stopped.
Trust me, a familiar voice in his head whispered. Touji nodded, and let go.
"Diiiiieeee!" Naoko leapt the last few dozens of meters between the two biomechs, her jaws opening like those of a crocodile. In an instant, Unit Three's hand moved, forming a fist right in the path of Unit Zero's head.
SCRUNCH! Unit Three rammed its fist through Unit Zero's eye and into its cranial case. It ignored the blue Eva's screaming as it finally grabbed hold of something hard, and squeezed with all its might.
"AAAYYYGHHHHH-!" Naoko's screams were abruptly cut off as the object Unit Three was crushing shattered into a gory mess. For good measure, the black Eva rammed it's other fist through Unit Zero's chest plate, and ripped out a bloody, gooey mass that dribbled obscenely out of its grip.
Touji opened his eyes, and saw what his sister/Eva had done. He made a face.
"Ugh! God damnit, that's just wrong." He swore he heard a faint giggle, as Gendo Ikari's face appeared in a holoscreen before him, looking stern.
"Pilot Suzuhara, status?"
"Unit Zero has been subdued, sir. May I ask about the self-destruct? And the other pilots?" Gendo grimaced, visibly agitated.
"We've re-established control of the MAGI, and the self-destruct has been canceled. The Third, First and Sixth Children are fine. The Eighth… Was apparently rendered braindead by Akagi when she was possessed. Rather unusual occurrence for an Angel to be possessed by a human." Touji gawped.
"Angel!"
"Yes. It is the only logical conclusion that can be drawn from the data. The Eighth Child is thus post-humously designated the Twentieth Angel… And your first kill." Gendo raised an eyebrow.
"By any chance do you know how the main gates were destroyed?" Touji kept a straight face, even as feelings of amusement from his sister (and himself) grew.
"No sir. They were like that when I got here." Gendo blinked, and stared at Touji for several seconds. Touji coughed, a few bubbles rising in the LCL.
"Something wrong, sir?"
"Didn't you have only one leg and one arm?" Thanks to you, Touji bitterly thought. He looked down… And cried out in shock.
"HOLY SHIT!" He shakily raised up his right arm, and ran his left hand over it. It was… It was all there. Just as he remembered. He ran a hand down his restored left leg, still trembling. Gendo stared as well. The commander's eyes grew wide as the Fourth Child held up his now superfluous artificial limbs.
"… Kimiko," he whispered, a fresh batch of tears dissipating into the LCL. His sister seemed mildly bemused, but extraordinarily happy as well.
"…Since you no longer seem to, ahem… Be, er… In your previous state, I am returning you to active duty as a pilot. Expect to be here on a daily basis," Gendo ordered, before the window vanished. Touji glared at the spot where the holowindow had been, and felt his determination rise with the help of another's.
"Count on it," he growled, as his Eva's eyes glowed bright green.
Touji sat back, smiling at the headstone in a way that seemed to belie his age.
"Dad wanted to put in Kimiko's headstone… But that wouldn't be right. She's not dead… Just, well… On vacation." He leaned forward. "I promise you though… When this is all over, we're going to visit you. Together."
With that, the Fourth Child stood up, waved slightly, and walked off in a confident gait, whistling an old song.
Happy ending for this chapter! Yay!
Next time: How did Mana become the Seventh Child? What happened to Andrew when NERV-2 was trapped in the Dirac Sea? How the hell did Asuka come out of that coma? And why is the author still writing this crap?
Hopefully, answers to these and more questions next time!