The silence was deafening.

Her fingers still grasped at empty air, the charts scattered across the floor. He almost felt the urge to grab her hand, just to get her to move, to know if she was alright.

"Raven?" he finally whispered. Her eyes snapped up, but they were unfocused, as if she were seeing right through him.

"I'm fine."

"What?"

"I'm fine. No, this could be great!" The excitement in her eyes seriously concerned him.

"...what?"

A bitter smile rose to her lips and her eyes actually focused on his confused, anxious gaze. Worry was an emotion that never failed to be painfully obvious, betraying his stoic front. "If I'm human, no one has to worry anymore. My emotions, Trigon - none of it will matter." His eyes widened as he realized what she was saying. "I won't be dangerous anymore." Pulling the last electrodes from her skin, she slid off the table. Robin still shock-still as she finalized, "I can be normal."

"Raven..." he whispered, as if he needed reassurance that it was Raven that he was speaking to. She glanced up at him as she pulled on her cloak, an expression in her eyes that Robin couldn't name. "You are normal..." At the look she gave him, he continued more forcefully, "- to us. To everyone else, you're a hero; someone who's taking something that made her different and used it to the benefit of others. We can't just let this thing," he gestured vaguely across her body, "continue!"

She was shaking her head before he had even finished, the bitter smile again floating across her lips. "No, I'm not. If I were normal, you wouldn't have to worry about Trigon returning, or wonder when I'll lose control of my emotions. Soon, Beast Boy won't have to hide if I twitch a muscle," she raised her voice slightly as his mouth opened to interrupt her, "none of you will have to tip-toe your way around me. This is good, Robin." She emphasized her words almost as if she were speaking to a child. Turning away again, she walked towards the door.

"Raven -" he tried again desperately, and she paused once more, sighing. "You can't just let this thing change you -"

He stumbled to a stop as she glanced over her shoulder at him. "I can, and I will." Seeing the look on his face, she smiled - a genuine smile, something so foreign to her face that he could barely process its meaning even as his mind subconsciously registered that her smiles were a rare moment of genuine happiness . "Don't worry, Robin. I want this."

He stood still as she slipped out of the room, his eyes staring at the spot where she should have been.

~x~

The following week was chaos.

Robin had recruited the rest of the team in his mission to remove the alien material from Raven. She would often step out of a room only to be ambushed, and carried thrashing and screaming to the medi-lab, where they would perform several tests on her, no matter how much she claimed that she wanted that demon part out of her body.

And so, once again, she found herself strapped to the cool metal table as Robin studiously stuck the electrodes onto her skin; the electrodes were going to give her permanent spotted tattoos if he kept this up. She had given up the thrashing and screaming a few sessions ago; she had since realized that it was pretty pointless.

"I'm not even a guinea pig this time, I feel like an asylum patient." She spoke to the ceiling, her voice a sarcastic monotone as Robin continued methodically pressing the electrodes into her skin. "You've practically got me in a straitjacket; what's next - shock therapy?"

Robin glared at her. "Maybe," he snapped. "It could actually kill that thing. Plus, you are acting completely crazy, not to mention stupid."

Her foot caught him in the stomach before he could grab it, and she took satisfaction in the small grunt he released. He gritted his teeth as he used his free hand to rub the spot. "How mature of you."

"So is having me kidnapped. True leadership qualities there." She smirked inwardly as he pushed the next electrode into her skin with more force than necessary. Questioning his leadership was always a soft spot for him.

Sure enough, he snapped, "We're trying to help you, Raven!"

"And what if Trigon figures out a way to use me again, that won't help anyone!"

"We'd beat him again."

"Sacrificing innocent lives in the process?"

"We won once, we'd win again. You can't sacrifice yourself for something that won't happen!"

"I'm not sacrificing anything, I'm giving myself a freedom I never had. Robin, this is what I want!"

Robin opened his mouth to continue the argument, but a soft voice interrupted him. "Friend Robin...maybe she is right. Should we not give her what she wants?" Starfire spoke quietly from the corner, her arms wrapped around herself worriedly. Robin whirled on her, his eyes flashing. Raven almost felt sorry for Starfire for a moment, but the fact that someone was actually listening to her for once quelled any pity. She raised her head slightly to watch the pair.

"We are the Teen Titans," he hissed at her. Starfire met his gaze steadily, but the doubt and worry was still obvious in the way her body curled inwards, the crease above her eyes, the stiffness in her fingers. "We are superheroes. This city," his hand jerked aggressively towards the wall beyond which Jump City lay, "looks up to us! We can't do what we want, we do what we can to protect - them!" His final words were emphasized heavily as he almost spat in the alien's face, mere inches from her.

Raven was sure she hadn't seen Robin so angry since his Slade obsession, but she still couldn't repress the snort. Robin spun back around, his eye seemingly twitching as she dared to express such uncaring towards the harsh words he believed in so strongly. "Is something funny?" His voice was quiet, but obviously furious.

"Just the fact that you seem to think I am a hero. Think about it, when's the last time I actually helped in a battle? This whole debacle has just proven I'm more of a hindrance than a hero. I don't protect, I prevent - I prevent all of you from doing what you're meant to do!" She felt the urge to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, just to try to get the point across better.

"That doesn't matter! We've all made mistakes, you can't give up on being a superhero because of that!" The desperation was slowly creeping into his voice.

"Alright, Robin, say that I don't give up, and I let you keep doing all these tests on me." She waved her hands vaguely from where they strapped down. "You can do everything you want, but there is no way to get this out of me, and you know that. You've done this at least forty times now, and every time, that computer has told you that my state is slowly by steadily advancing towards being completely human, and there is no possible way to change that. We can fight all we want, but at the end of this, I am going to be human. I've accepted that - we've all accepted that - so why can't you?"

Somewhere during her miniature speech, Robin's eyes had shifted to focus on the screen. He remained silent, studying the data as it described exactly what she pointed out, just as it had during every test. How could they find a way to reverse a process they didn't even understand? Raven seemed to sense his deteriorating argument and rising confusion; she spoke softly. "Robin, there is nothing you can do."

He winced as if the words personally hurt him, and she understood. It wasn't in Robin's nature to give up, no matter the obstacle. "We can still try -"

She sighed, cutting him off, then looked at Starfire pointedly. The girl moved forward quickly, removing the straps that held her to the table. Robin jerked forward as if to stop her, but Raven glared at him. "No, Robin," her whisper more forceful than any of her yells. Just let it happen." She flashed him a reassuring smile, stopping yet another response from him. "Think about it, it's one less Titan you need to worry about every battle." Starfire looked sad, but nodded her head in agreement.

"It is what she has always wanted, Robin. These machines have not indicated any sort of harm to come upon friend Raven, so perhaps it is...for the best?" Her eyes beamed hopefully as she phrased herself carefully.

"I'll stay here in the tower whenever you guys are fighting. Keep an eye on the computers in case anything new comes up while you're gone. I'll be more useful this way than I was before."

"We shall all remain friends!" Starfire squealed.

"I'll still be Raven, you know. I'll be Raven without the demon, so it'll be even better - stop worrying." Her eyes were focused on his, and as he stared into those violet eyes, defiant with a hint of something else he couldn't name, he couldn't find anything else to argue with. She slid off the table and left the room with Starfire at her heels, leaving Robin completely helpless.

~x~

The new Raven was vastly different from the one he was accustomed to, beyond her outer appearance - not that she didn't look any different. In the space of a week, she had begun wearing white cloaks as opposed to purple, her chakra had faded from her forehead, her hair was beginning to darken, her skin losing its grayish hue, but, worst of all, her eyes lost their violet color, becoming a bright blue. He hated it. And that was without the differences in personality; this bubbly, giggly girl seemed more like Starfire than Raven. None of it matched with the image of the girl he knew. They weren't her clothes, her hair, her skin, her eyes. It wasn't her. She wasn't Raven anymore; and the only thing that made it bearable was to finally see her smile.

He sighed, shaking his head. He was going to have to get used to it. None of it looked bad, anyways, but it was just weird.

He lifted his eyes to watch her from across the living room, his eyes narrowed. She was in the kitchen.

Humming.

What the hell?

Growling to himself, he shook the newspaper violently, searching for any suspicious news. Fairly typical news; the usual pointless stories, nonsense sports...the fluff that symbolized that there wasn't anything of merit actually taking place at the moment. He growled again deep in his throat as she continued humming to herself. He needed some sort of story to actually distract him. His eyes focused on the headline as he tried desperately to ignore her: "ROGUE BUNNY FOUND IN JUMP CITY ZOO".

The paper crumpled under his grip and he hurled it across the couch, muttering to himself. The news had hit an all-time low, to be sure. Never had he seen such a ridiculous story, and right when he needed something to focus on more than ever. Talk about a rogue villain, at least, or something...

There was the clatter of a spoon against glass, and Raven's humming transitioned to an even more peppy song with a higher volume. His eye spasmed, and he resisted the urge to reach for the newspaper again and rip it to shreds.

And then the smell hit him, and the world fairly crashed around him.

Coffee.

COFFEE?

WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE DOING, MAKING COFFEE?

Last time they had coffee, Raven had thrown a fit, claiming that it messed with her emotions. They hadn't dared to make it again -

but now she was the one making it?

He was dead. That was the only answer. Maybe Larry had thrown him into another dimension again, or something else, something...

"Stop staring, Robin," she tossed at him over her shoulder.

He still gaped at her.

She threw him a grin and poured herself a mug.

The reply threw him off the edge. Any other day, she would have been angry, but now - a grin?

"Who are you?"

The smile quickly disappeared, but he didn't have time to mourn its loss, so he forced his mind to focus on her words. "I've told you before, Robin. This is what I want, I get to be who I actually am -"

"No, I think you're acting. You're trying to be someone you want to be."

"I am more myself than I've ever been! No demon holding me back, I'm free to be Raven!" The mug shook in her hand as she yelled at him.

"The demon wasn't a separate part of you!" he fired back. He knew he shouldn't really be getting her angry, but at this point, he clung to whatever remnant of the old Raven that was left; in this case, her infamous temper. "It's you, linked into your genes, it made you who you were! Hiding it, and now getting rid of it doesn't make you you, it makes you someone else! You're a selfish person, and that's not the Raven I knew!"

She was so furious she couldn't even speak. She knew that had she still had her powers, Red would have thrown his body out the window just to make him shut up, and the thought

She settled with hurling the coffee at him.

He ducked and the cup shattered on the floor, but the scalding coffee spilled onto him, and he yelled, pulling the suit away from his body as the liquid burned his skin. "What the hell is wrong with you, Raven?"

"Don't you dare call me selfish." Her voice wasn't as forceful as it should have been, the hurt evident behind the anger, and she cursed herself.

He laughed mockingly, and her eyes flashed. "Because you aren't? Right. You gave up being a Titan. You gave up being a hero. You gave up saving people's lives. You gave it all up for your own sorry ass, so you gave up my respect." Her mouth, open to yell back, snapped shut as her eyes suddenly grew wide. He could feel his own anger grow, however, and he couldn't hold himself back even as he watched the emotions in her eyes. "You're just as bad as any villain we've fought off, because they work for themselves, and that's exactly what you're doing. You are selfish, and that's what you'll always be as this person." He was so close to her now, their noses were almost touching. His eyes were furious, staring into her own blue eyes. Her eyes, that he had once loved so much; the eyes that, despite her closed-off outer walls, carried so much emotion that he could read her like an open book...those eyes that he could stare at for days if he could, those beautiful purple eyes...but these weren't her eyes. These blue eyes were the eyes of someone he didn't understand, didn't know. They weren't her eyes. He withdrew, the anger faded as he seemed to want to create as much space between them as possible. "You're not Raven. I don't know you."

The hurt flared in her eyes as he stared at her, as if he really didn't know who she was, recognition lacking in his gaze. She didn't understand what it was that made his anger fade so quickly, but somehow, the pain it caused tipped her over the edge, the tears in her eyes overflowing. Through her blurry gaze, she could see Robin shake his head slowly and leave the room, still staring at her as if she were a stranger. She sank to the floor, letting the now-cold coffee turn her white cloak black, letting the cold of the tiles soak into her and freeze her body, letting her own tears fall to the tile as his words echoed in her ears:

I don't know you...I don't know you...

~x~

Robin let his feet guide him, his eyes unfocused, not caring exactly where he was going as he wandered the tower aimlessly. He didn't know what had made him snap like that, and he knew he had been much too harsh with Raven, but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to regret it beyond the basic not intending to truly hurt her. Everything he had said, he meant. He didn't know who she was anymore, but he wanted Raven back. He wanted his Raven back.

He punched the wall next to him, grunting as his hand went through the plaster and pushed a hole into the wall. He pulled his hand out and shook it, growling as he felt the bruise forming.

"Seriously, dude, I get your whole obsession with training, but c'mon. At least punch something in the training room, since Raven can't fix any of our stuff anymore -"

"DO - NOT - TALK - ABOUT - RAVEN."

Admirably, Beast Boy didn't flinch, almost as if he had been expecting Robin to explode. "Yeah, I figured you'd be feelin' some guilt after blowing up on her back there." At his words, Robin visually recoiled.

"You heard?"

"Well, yeah. I'm pretty sure everyone did, honestly." Robin rubbed at his face, avoiding Beast Boy's gaze. "You..." he tried slowly, "you were pretty harsh, Robin."

He couldn't bring himself to glare at the changeling. "I know. I just...it was all true."

"Maybe." Robin looked up, surprised that he was getting any agreement from him at all. "But that's not the point. There's nothing any of us can do, so there's no point in making it any harder for her."

"I don't want it to be easy for her. I want her to get rid of that thing. I want Raven back. Why doesn't anyone get that?"

"Maybe because we don't really feel like she left?"

"She's changed! She's not Raven anymore, she's someone else!"

"People change."

"No!" Robin punched the wall again, creating a matching hole a few inches from the previous one, this time welcoming the pain it caused as he vented his frustration. "People can change, but she's -" He growled as he couldn't find the word. "She's not Raven! She's acting like someone else!"

"You could just let some time pass, and see if she changes her mind -"

"We don't have time!" Robin's anger was mixed with desperation and horror, now. "Look how fast everything's happened already! This isn't something that she's changing just visually, this alien thing is changing who she is!"

"Robin -"

"It's altering her DNA! How the hell can we stop it, let alone reverse what's already happened?"

"I -"

"I want to be able to look at Raven and know her as the strong, independent woman who didn't let anything hold her back - not some girl who pretended to be someone she wasn't." Beast Boy didn't seem to understand how serious this was, because he kept smirking as he continuously tried to interrupt him, spurring Robin on as he tried desperately to make someone understand.

"Look -"

"And what happens next! Say she ends up looking like the blonde bimbo she seems to want to be - what then?"

"Well, -"

"What happens when the alien runs out of demon DNA to feed off of - we don't understand it now, how are we to know what'll happen next?"

"ROBIN. SHUT THE HELL UP."

Robin glared at him, but finally fell silent.

"Okay, there is a solution present to all of this. Yes," he puffed his chest and nodded solemnly as Robin's eyes widened. "A solution! You need to show Raven that we're her friend no matter what - her background has no effect on this. How," he spoke louder as Robin tried to speak, "does this work, you ask? First, you realize that regular friendship has apparently failed to convince her of this thus far. So, you think that maybe she needs something deeper - perhaps, a relationship, as you know that she feels that she is not good enough for anyone due to her closed-off temperament. But," he spoke loudly again as Robin turned red and prepared to yell again, "you realize that there is in fact no one you believe to be good enough for her, no one capable of showing Raven that she is in fact worth anything!" He grinned as Robin shrunk back, obviously confused as Beast Boy seemed to pinpoint his own feelings. "So, at last, I come to my solution..." he paused for a dramatic effect.

"Accept that you're in love with her, then get her to love you back."

Robin gaped at him, sputtering, and Beast Boy gave a gleeful laugh. He clasped his arms around him in a manly hug and thumped him on the back, still laughing. "I never would've thought, but Robin's all grown up! Ha-ha! Robin's in love with Raven! Go get her, dude!" Flashing him another grin, Beast Boy ran skipping down the hall away from him, still chanting and laughing. Robin, however, didn't really notice. He could only stand shock-still, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Images of her flashed through his mind; violent anger, her eyes full of rage and power; sadness, eyes glistening as she struggled to overcome the hurt; sarcastic, her eyes sparkling mischievously even as her monotone voice sliced the air with her unique wit; and a last, rare image of Raven laughing, smiling, her eyes bright. He could only think about Raven and those violet eyes he loved so much, and suddenly, it all made sense.

Nine months, you say! Nine months, you have failed to post a chapter! Why, do you ask?

Well, because...

I've got no excuse.

The usual, I supposed. Busy, family, friend issues. I apologize, truly and deeply. I will try to do better in the future.

Not too pleased with this chapter, but I hope you will enjoy anyways.

As always, the Teen Titans do not belong to me. Unfortunately.

Thanks for reading!

- Nadine