Rumple patted Belle's back awkwardly. The good news was that the sight of her tears had completely killed his flagging erection that had been poking Belle in the stomach when she first threw herself at him. He hoped that she was too overwrought to have felt it, or at the very least had the good taste not to bring it up.

After a few moments, Belle's sobs gave way to soft hiccups and sniffles.

"What's wrong, Belle?" he asked, pulling back from her and leading her inside. He shut the door behind her and steered her into the living room, diverting her away from the armchair he had just vacated and settling her on to the sofa.

"It didn't work," she repeated miserably. Rumple handed her his burgundy handkerchief and she dabbed at her eyes ruefully. "This whole stupid plan it didn't work. I'm not pregnant."

"Ah," he said, sitting down beside her. So the artificial insemination had failed. It was impossible to know for sure, but Rumple felt this had to somehow be his fault. Perhaps his stress level had been to high to get a good enough sample.

"I'm so sorry, Belle," he said truthfully. "I know how much you wanted this."

She dragged a hand through her hair that only seemed to tangle the dark curls more.

"Well," she said, her thin shoulders bobbing up and down with a shrug. "That's that. It wasn't meant to be, I guess."

Rumple wasn't sure what to say. Belle wanted a child. So did he. But there was a seed of relief in him as well.

He hated to admit it, but he hadn't been sold on her idea. He was slightly panicked at the idea of being a father again and he knew from experience that his panic led to Belle's trauma. And he still wasn't sold on their method of conception either. If it had failed, perhaps it was for the best.

It was hard to be too convinced of that when Belle was so miserable though.

Another sob erupted from her throat and she buried her head against Rumple's shoulder. He could do nothing but wrap his arm around her tentatively, hoping his touch was welcome. Eventually Belle resurfaced, wiping her tears and leaving tracks of smeared mascara under her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said hoarsely.

"You've nothing to apologize for," Rumple assured her, smoothing her tangled hair back from her face.

"Maybe this was just stupid," she said. "The idea that I needed another child. I don't need a baby. I have Gideon and he is more than enough for me. He's perfect."

Rumple couldn't argue with that, but his heart hurt for Belle regardless.

"Oh, Belle, you deserve everything you could possibly want. And of course you want another baby. After everything that happened when Gideon was born it's only natural."

Belle just nodded, looking down at her clasped hands sadly. There was silence for a long moment before she looked up at him from beneath her wet lashes.

"Was I, um, interrupting anything?" she asked tentatively.

"No," Rumple said with a shake of his head.

"Oh," Belle nodded. "I thought…never mind."

"What?" he asked, confusedly.

"You, um," she began. "I thought maybe you'd had company or were otherwise engaged."

Rumple was still at a loss until Belle's eyes flicked down to the front of his trousers. Horrifying comprehension dawned on him and he could feel the blood rushing to his face. So she had felt that after all.

"No," he exclaimed. "Nothing. Not…no."

"Okay," Belle said with a nod. "Sorry."

Another beat of awkward silence followed as Belle became intent upon her left thumbnail and Rumple tried to figure out how best to move away from her without seeming obvious.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked finally in an attempt to cover the awkwardness. He should let her leave, but it felt so damn good to have her here. And she'd come to him for comfort in her distress. That had to mean something, didn't it? "I was about to have one myself before you arrived."

Belle snorted. "Why not? I'm not pregnant."

"I wouldn't have offered if you were," he chuckled, making his way over to the bar in the corner and pouring them each a measure of whisky.

"Hook did," Belle said suddenly as he returned to her side, handing her a cut crystal tumbler of the amber liquid. "When I was pregnant with Gideon, he tried to give me rum."

Rumple's teeth ground together at the reminder of Belle staying with the pirate, even for that short amount of time.

"Yes, well, he's always been a responsible one."

Belle snorted again, hiding her face in her glass.

"So," Rumple ventured. "What else is new?"

Belle laughed out loud at that and it was such a relief to see her smile. It was ridiculous that they were sitting here together, having a drink on his sofa. It hadn't happened in years, not since before they'd split up. Of course, back then, their night would have ended very differently than tonight when Belle would inevitably recognize how horribly inappropriate all this was and go home to her own house.

"Um, not a whole lot actually," she said finally, answering his question. "The town continues to be horrible at reshelving their library books. I'm thinking of closing the magic tomes section on weekends because the Charmings do a real number on my organization system if left unattended."

"That's hardly surprising," he offered. "They barged into my shop last week for a potion to counter transfiguration. Apparently a witch had gotten fed up with girl scouts selling cookies and turned several of them into newts."

Belle's face was a mixture of horror and humor. "Did you turn them back?"

"Of course," Rumple shrugged. "For a price."

Belle rolled her eyes. "What did you ask for this time?"

"David owes me a favor. Perhaps I'll make him get a drink with me," he deadpanned. "Go golfing. Male bonding of some sort, he'd hate that."

Belle choked on the sip she was taking and Rumple thumped her on the back.

"Golf?" she giggled. "I can't imagine you playing golf."

"I hear it's very relaxing," Rumple returned. "I think I'd be a natural."

They lapsed into silence again, but this time it was companionable. There was no pressing need to fill it, just two people enjoying each other's company. Rumple had missed this, the companionship, the ease with which they could hold a conversation. Regardless of how polite they were to each other for Gideon's sake, they'd never been quite comfortable in these past three years. Perhaps the arrangement they'd been so proud of had its flaws after all.

"Did you hear Leroy and Astrid are finally engaged?" Belle asked, her eyes lighting up at the share of gossip.

Rumple couldn't care less about the dwarf and fairy, but it seemed imprudent to say so. "Good for them."

"Yeah," Belle said, looking wistful for a moment. "You know I'm the one who got them together in the first place, right? I, uh, met Grumpy in a dwarf tavern not long after I left your castle. He was hung up on her even way back then."

"A long time coming then," he said, taking a long sip of his whisky.

"Yeah," Belle said again. "It's kind of crazy, right? I mean, in the time it took us to break up and make up how many times, get married, get divorced, have a baby, and they're still on their first try."

"I wish them better luck than we've had," he said wryly, raising his glass to the newly engaged couple.

His words brought their conversation to a standstill. Their friendship only worked if they kept things light and superficial. Anything that delved too deep, any mention of the love they'd once shared, would bring things to a grinding halt.

The silence was broken by a sniffle and Rumple realized Belle was crying again. Damn it all, they'd had a moment where everything seemed right between them and he'd managed to ruin it.

"Belle," he said softly, reaching out to rub her shoulder. "I didn't mean…" he trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Belle just shook her head.

"God," she sighed, wiping at her tears. "I'm sorry I keep doing this."

"It's fine," he assured her.

She took a few deep breaths, trying to compose herself.

"I just really wanted a baby, Rumple," she said with a shake of her head. "I can't even explain why."

She looked so small and sad and he just wanted to make her feel better, reassure her in some way. Hell, he'd go through it again, do it all over again, if it would make Belle happy.

"Well, we've done it before, I'm sure we can do it again," he said gamely, squeezing her shoulder.

"We could…." She cut off, not finishing her sentence.

"What?" he asked. He was open to any suggestion she might have to make this whole thing easier.

Belle took a gulp of her drink, almost finishing it off before speaking.

"We could just try the other way." Her voice tilted up on the last syllable making her statement sound like a question.

Rumple's brow wrinkled in confusion. If there was another way that didn't have him making another trip to Dr. Whale's Magical Masturbatorium he was all for it. Why hadn't she suggested it before?

"What way is that?" he asked.

Belle blushed, her eyes rolling slightly at his obtuseness.

"You know what I mean, Rumple. The old fashioned way."

"Old fashioned," he said, his mind slowly catching up. She couldn't possibly be suggesting what he thought she was. "You mean…"

"Yes," Belle answered. Her face was unsure, open and scared and vulnerable in a way he couldn't quite handle.

"What, right now?" he squeaked out. Gideon was asleep upstairs. They hadn't been intimate in that way since he was conceived. Belle was in a state of emotional turmoil that he absolutely refused to take advantage of.

"No!" Belle protested. "I mean it would have to be when I'm ovulating. Right now is definitely not the right time. But it couldn't hurt, right? I mean, it wouldn't mean anything. It would just be for the baby. No mess, no frills, just punch in and punch out."

Rumple's heartbeat seemed to slow now that it had been made known he wouldn't be expected to perform on command tonight. But that only lessened his anxiety by a fraction. Belle couldn't possibly be serious.

"As appealing as that sounds, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh," Belle said, her voice sounding disappointed. "Of course, you're right."

"Not that I wouldn't want to," he amended, wincing at how eager that sounded. No need to be quite so obvious to your ex-wife that you were hard up for her. "Just, don't you think it would complicate things between us a bit?"

That sounded better, he felt. Focus on how well things had been going between them the past three years. Don't focus on how very much he wanted to take her up on her offer right that moment.

"It doesn't have to," Belle said, always the optimist, her eyes shining with something like hope. "It doesn't have to change anything. Not if we don't want it to."

And why would she want it to? Belle was perfectly happy with how things had been going between them. She didn't want any more from him than his genetic material and his ability as a parent. He wanted so much more.

So he couldn't do this. Not now and not ever. As enticing as the idea of being with Belle again was, it just simply wouldn't be enough. It would just leave him wanting her even more.

"Sweetheart," he protested, the endearment slipping from his lips without authorization. "You're upset and you may feel very differently tomorrow. Can we table this discussion until later?"

"Alright," Belle agreed, looking back down into her glass. "You're right of course. It's a stupid idea. I seem full of them lately."

That sickening silence engulfed them once again, only broken by the sound of the mantle clock ticking and the gentle sloshing of their whisky as they both brought their glasses to their lips at the same time. Rumplestiltskin realized with a start that he'd finished his and set his glass aside on the coffee table, instantly regretting the decision when he had nothing left to do with his hands.

"Another?" he asked, motioning to Belle's equally empty glass.

"I shouldn't," she said with a shake of her head.

Rumple nodded. It was time for her to go, he supposed. He could walk her to the door, bid her goodnight, and retreat to that shower he'd been pondering before she'd arrived. She'd certainly provided him with enough fodder to torture him for the next week at least.

"It's getting late," he said, standing from the couch and wringing his hands together for lack of something better to do with them. "I suppose…"

"Can I stay?" she interrupted, her voice small and wavering. "I know I shouldn't," she was quick to add. "But it's late and Gideon is here. I just don't want to be alone tonight."

His mouth dropped open at the unexpected request. Belle wanted to stay here, with him. It had been years since they'd slept under the same roof.

"Sure," he said with a nod. It was another chip in their arrangement, another step beyond the boundaries that had worked for them for the past three years. But he thrilled at the idea of Belle being so close.

She smiled up at him shyly, a blush tinting her cheeks. She was so beautiful it sometimes still took him by surprise, rendering him breathless.

Belle took his glass from the coffee table, bringing both of them into the kitchen and rinsing them in the sink. Rumple just stood dumbly in the living room, unsure of what he was supposed to do next. When Belle returned, she motioned to the stairs.

"Lead the way," she said.

He could feel his mouth hanging open still and gave his head a little shake before complying. She followed him up the stairs in silence, stopping outside his bedroom, one that had once, ever so briefly, been theirs.

"I'll find you something to sleep in," he said, motioning to the door behind him. Belle nodded and stood in the doorway as he went to rifle through one of his drawers, surfacing a moment later with one of his silk pajama shirts. It would swamp her, but definitely be long enough to cover everything vital.

"Here," he said, handing it over. Belle hugged the shirt to her chest, still just standing in the doorway expectantly.

"The guest room down the hall should have fresh sheets," he prompted.

"Oh," Belle said, biting her lip indecisively. "I mean…could I stay with you instead?"

His stomach flipped uncomfortably, a tingle going down his spine at her words.

"What?"

"I promise not to jump you in the middle of the night if that's what you're worried about," she said dryly.

"No, of course not," he protested.

"I just…" she left off, twisting the silk fabric in her hands. "I don't want to be alone. If I'm down the hall I'm still alone."

"Oh," he said dumbly.

They stared at each other for a moment, before something broke in Belle's eyes. She gave a little nod before turning to scurry off down the hall.

"Belle," he called after her, his voice a loud whisper, trying to keep from waking Gideon. Her shoulders tensed, her body straightening and steeling before turning to look at him. "Why?"

He wasn't sure what he was really asking. Why she wanted a child with him? Why she'd want to spend the night with him, even just to lie innocently side-by-side? Why she still seemed to give a damn after everything they'd been through? Why they could never just end this thing, rip it off cleanly like a bandage and throw it away? Why they continued to torture each other, never really letting go?

Belle shrugged, just one tiny lift of her left shoulder, but he felt like so many conflicting emotions were captured in that tiny motion.

"Because, despite my better judgment, you still feel like home."

He didn't say anything in response, simply moved to the side of the doorway, an open invitation for her to join him. He wasn't sure if the whisky had loosened her tongue, if she meant a word of it, but if he could be home for Belle, even for one night, he'd do it, damn the morning after. And he knew in that moment, if she was still serious about trying for a child the other way in the sobering light of day, he'd do that too, no matter that it would destroy him.

She smiled at him, a little relieved breath leaving her chest as she entered the room. They took turns changing in the en suite bathroom and before Rumple knew it he was lying in bed next to his ex-wife. It felt right having her here again, just an arms length away beneath the coverlet. It took everything in him not to reach out for her, to spoon up behind her as he would have once upon a time. Instead he crossed his arms against his chest, rolling on to his side with his back to Belle.

She wasn't his wife anymore and he couldn't forget that, no matter how much he'd like to pretend otherwise. His poor heart couldn't take it. He loved her. He'd never stop loving her. But that didn't mean they should be together. He'd hurt her as much as it was possible to hurt someone and he was terrified to do it again. Keeping distance between them was a self-preservation tactic, yes, but it was to preserve Belle as well. Sleeping in the same bed was an overstep they shouldn't have taken. Tomorrow would hurt badly enough without cuddling up to her tonight.

Belle's breathing evened out behind him until she was snoring lightly. He'd almost forgotten she tended to snore, cute little sniffles coming from the opposite side of the bed. In spite of himself, he rolled over, watching the curve of her cheek, the rise and fall of her chest, in the darkness. He reached out, pushing a rogue curl back from her face. Belle stirred slightly, turning her face into his touch with a sigh and despite his better judgment he left his hand there, relishing the warmth and softness of her skin.

"Enough," he murmured to himself, pulling his hand back and settling on his back. He knew he wouldn't get much sleep tonight.