Authors Notes: Well, mixed reviews but I stand by my decision for the Cuddy/Monica catfight :D I am male after all…anyway. House is going to become more in character now, him and Cuddy are going to be experiencing some pains here not exactly with each other though. I think four chapters of Monica and Lucas are enough…we need some huddy after waiting so long for an episode and now two weeks! I don't think that's right but any who…here goes.

ps. sorry for a short chapter I promise once personal life/exams are over I'm all yours for updates and reviews :)

Chapter 4: What really matters to me

House sat motionless with Cuddy clinging to him. She was crying into his shirt and had been for at least a few minutes now. He on the other hand was lost in thought. Wilson was now leading the search as House thought it was important he kept Cuddy here just in case what they found was…distressing. Also, House had so many thoughts going on inside his head. These conflicting feelings for the woman in his arms, trying to be a 'normal' person and now Rachel it was all too much. Plus, Monica was just staring at him. Neither of them wanted to say anything. House glanced over at Lucas passed out on his brand new sofa. That was supposed to be the better choice, the man who was the 'father' and not just a 'lover'. Yet he'd betrayed Cuddy far worse that he considered himself to have done. House resented Rachel, not because of Cuddy's need to have children, no or because she'd taken Cuddy away. He hated what she represented from his past. A past as dark as the night, the night that Rachel could be lost in just like himself but in different ways…

"Greg."

Monica managed to whisper but he ignored her. For now, House's attention was on Cuddy. He was able to get Cuddy to her feet and walk her to a spare room. Wilson had left clothes on the bed and House settled her down next to them.

"Cuddy…" He paused, not quite knowing what to say when Cuddy looked up at him. Looking into her eyes was like staring into the abyss so much so that he shuddered before continuing, "Get dressed. Then we can go help look for her."

House moved toward the door ignoring the stabbing pain in his thigh. It was all in his head. The more House thought about his situation and Cuddy's the more his leg hurt. Her voiced, though so quiet and weak he could barely hear it, called out, "Tell me that she's going to be ok. I need to hear it…e-even if it isn't true. Lie to me, House."

House couldn't turn back to look at her. He had no idea whether she was ok, or if she would but this was what people did. People lie, not just to cover up mistakes, but also to give people hope even if the odds were minuscule. House didn't operate like that. No one gave him hope but could he dash hers when he had no idea what was right. He moved over to where Cuddy was slumped on the bed like he had placed her. House sat beside her awkwardly.

"I can't lie to you…" Cuddy turned to him, like he was about to tell her that Rachel was most likely already dead but he kept a stern face, "I also can't tell you that your little spawn isn't alive and well. I know as much as you. All I can do is tell you to not give up on her."

House leaned over and kissed her forehead. He lingered there for a moment. Though she smelt like the buffet food a little, Cuddy still smelt like she had twenty years ago. A smell that reminded him of better things, the night they met and he recognized it as Chanel No.5, classic just like she was. House realized he lingered to long and shot out of the room.

When he re-entered the room, Monica was stood up staring out of the large windows onto the New Jersey night sky. House silently made his way over behind her when she spoke.

"Why aren't you comforting the princess in distress?"

House leaned against the window so he could see her face, "You don't know Cuddy like I do. Her baby is her life."

Monica sighed angrily, "But it's not your life…why do you care so much?"

He just stared at her in shock for a few moments but recovered, "Are you for real? Just because I'm not the father of her baby I should care if it goes missing."

House limped away in anger whilst talking but Monica followed him, "You know I didn't mean it like that!"

"No I don't!" He stopped, "I mean…I don't know what to think."

Monica moved in front of him and placed a hand on his chest, "You need to distance yourself from her…"

House laughed and pulled away from her, "You can't let it go can you. Cuddy is my friend, even when I was…beyond what people would put up with she did. I owe her that."

She grabbed his arm, "I know and I wouldn't try to jeopardise your friendship."

"That's the thing. I'm not sure you wouldn't. You've only met her once and…I don't know what I wanted maybe we wanted the same thing."

Monica touched his cheek with her soft elegant nails, "I'm sorry."

This was his moment. If Cuddy wasn't an idiot she'd leave Lucas and that's what House really wanted. Part of him wanted Cuddy to accept that he'd moved on with Monica but the majority shareholder wanted her to fight for him and to see that she wanted him.

"No, I'm sorry."

Monica must have seen the deep thought on his face and pulled back, "Greg, don't do this."

"I really am sorry. I thought I could but I can't. Its too much today, I need some more time to think."

A silence set in between them. It was uncomfortable tension and Monica ended it by marching into the room where Cuddy was. House quickly followed. Once in the room, Monica walked over to a clean Cuddy, "Congratulations, you've done it."

Cuddy looked from Monica to House, "What's going on?"

House grabbed her by the wrist trying to pull her out of the room, "Nothing Cuddy."

But Monica managed to wriggle free and move right up to Cuddy, "Oh come on! You felt threatened by me! Now you've done it! Me and Greg were fine until you came along!"

House pulled her away, "Monica, Cuddy is worried about her daughter. She doesn't need to hear about our relationship problems."

"No, Greg! She is our relationship problem!"

House's face was twisted with anger and embarrassment, "Get out of her room!"

Monica thrashed against House, "No! If you are going to leave me I want to know the truth! I want to know what changed in one night!"

House snapped and grabbed the tops of her arms preventing her from hitting him anymore or moving, "This is why we can't be something more, Monica. Your jealous and you fly off the handle. I can't deal with that and all of my own problems. Please don't do this."

Tears flew from Monica's eyes when she turned to Cuddy and was about to say something but stopped herself. She turned to House and kissed him on the lips. It was a kiss to make him think about what he wanted and needs. Monica whispered in his ear, "When she lets you down…I'll be waiting."

After Monica had whispered something in House's ear she left and House leaned on the wall slowly sliding down to sit on the floor. Cuddy watched him as he put his head into his hand then the other hand manipulating his thigh. She tried not to think about where Rachel was. They were looking for her and now Cuddy was fresh and calm. Cuddy could be objective now and when she saw House crumpled on the floor a fresh pang of guilt hit her. Fighting with Monica was so out of character but it felt primal like she had to and Cuddy hadn't even thought about the effect it would have on him, "I'm sorry."

House lifted his head, "I'm sorry too. We should start a club."

Cuddy tilted her head, "A club?"

"To never have partners or parties. Or partners at parties."

She laughed but the air was still soaked in tension. House sat up a little more, "Well, this was a birthday to remember."

Cuddy moved over to sit next to him on the floor, "Listen, House I know now isn't the time but I...I'm tired of fighting this…us."

House turned to look into her eyes, "I know but you're right, now isn't the time."

Cuddy took his other hand, not on his leg, and entwined her fingers, "House, there will be a time though." She laughed, "It seems confronting my feelings for you is inevitable."

House smiled but was distracted when his cell phone rang. Immediately, Cuddy's hand tightened its grip on his own. When House found it he saw Wilsons id on the front.

"Wilson?"

There was a pause. Too long for House's liking or Cuddy's before Wilson replied, "We found her."

Apprehension filled House's voice while Cuddy was paralyzed, "How is she?"

Cuddy watched House's reaction and it filled her heart with dread. His face lost all colour and he gripped her hand with equal measure. A few minutes later he put his phone down.

"They found Rachel."

Cuddy jumped up in excitement, she had sworn that something inside her was convinced Rachel wouldn't be found but something wasn't right, "That's great isn't it!" Then it hit her, "What's wrong with her! House…she's ok isn't she?"

House couldn't say it. His head was willing him to be strong but it was hard with the things that he knew, "HOUSE! Tell me!"

Cuddy fell against his chest again banging her fists against him but he wrapped his arms around her to hold her close once again that evening. They rocked slightly before House started to tell her what Wilson had told him.

"They think that Lucas was drunk before he left her. She managed to get downstairs and might have got to the bottles." Cuddy sobbed even harder into his shirt but that wasn't the worst part, "He also left the door open. Rachel got outside. Wilson and the team found her by the front of your house. She was unresponsive. They want me down there as soon as possible."

Cuddy looked up at him behind the new wave of tears that threatened to fall. She grabbed his shirt collars tightly, "Promise me, you'll do everything you can to help her."

House brushed hair out of her eyes and held her face in his hands, "We should see how she is."

"NO!" Cuddy refused to move off him, "Not until you promise me, House."

"Ok." House pulled her face forward "I promise I'll do everything I can for her." House kissed her forehead lightly before getting her up to head to the hospital to evaluate her daughter's fate.

A/N: Sorry for such a long time between updates I have a lot of things on my plate including exams but I'll try to update regularly soon. So, Rachel's fate, I have painted Lucas out to be horrible because I really don't want to write three or four chapters of Cuddy deliberating. He was stupid and will pay the price. Anyway, the Monica saga is done…for now MWHAHA Sorry about that, the next chap is in the hospital and it's up to House to figure out how to save her or if he can save her. And as you can see the hints of huddy are bleeding through so the next chapter or two about Rachel are really important. It's time for some huddy!

Ps. that last house episode was brilliant with the neighbour! It was classic house at his best! Loved the whole thing but Cuddy was a bit of a b**** to foreman and co. Anywho, sorry for not replying seriously only got time to post it, I promise I will reply soon to both private messages and reviews.

REVIEW it makes a man very happy!

Gabe