Chapter 4: Sunset

Almost ninety years into training and I still couldn't win against by mentor in hand to hand combat. At first, Durlan was almost a spitting image of his brother Onas. But I found out soon enough that the twenty years of experience Durlan had over Onas changed their personalities drastically.

Onas was carefree and willing to try anything while Durlan was very wise and stuck to what he knew he could do. Luckily for him, he could fight very well.

We had just finished our latest sparing session and I had lost once again. "Don't look so discouraged Ara, you're getting better. Soon you'll be surpassing me". Durlan tried to encourage me but I couldn't shake the feeling I would never be able to become as good of a monk as I should be.

I tightened my ponytail of black hair and stretched out my hands, feeling the muscles and bones move inside of them. My fists were deadly weapons, I just wasn't sure I could use them as such. I didn't know if I could bring myself to bring pain to others.

Durlan sighed and stretched upwards, his short blonde hair softly framing his features.

"Can't we just spend today meditating? I'm off my game right now" I complained.

Durlan looked at me with a quizzical look but nodded nonetheless. Together we walked a few minutes to a small grove of trees just outside of the monastery gardens. Durlan sat down crossing his legs and I joined him on the ground, taking my place to his right side.

I placed my hands on my knees and inhaled deeply. I gazed at the morning sky for a few seconds before closing my eyes and focusing on the thoughts bothering my internal harmony. I could've been a great monk if I didn't let things get to me so easily. My right hand clenched on my knee as I fought the urge to slap my thoughts out of my head. No, I thought, I need to deal with this if I have any hopes of getting better.

It was true I was off my game; I had been for over a week now. Nine or so days ago, the monastery had a new member. A younger elf that looked strangely familiar to me. It wasn't until he introduced himself to me that I recognized the piercing blue eyes that snuck their way into my dreams every so often. Ever since that day I haven't been able to practice fighting without memories of the orphanage resurfacing. It didn't help that I couldn't tell whether he recognized me or not.

I inhaled again and remembered the night I left. How happy I felt, how great it felt to leave that place and all of the wonderful things that leaving had caused. After all, if I hadn't left the orphanage I never would've met Durlan and become so close to him. At this point in my life he was my family and he was everything I cared about.

I let out a slow exhale and imagined myself expelling all of my negative feelings. As I did so, the neighboring sounds of the forest invading my mind and I was filled with an inner calmness that I only felt in the forest or while playing the lute.

Durlan and I stayed meditating for hours and when I finally felt his hand gently touch my shoulder to signal me to open my eyes; I was met with an afternoon sun.

"We should go back. Supper will be served soon and you can't skip another meal." Durlan stood and offered me his hand. However, I wasn't in the mood to see anyone else right now.

"It's alright Durlan; I'm going to stay here a little bit longer. Please don't feel the need to stay with me. I'll be alright". I gave him the smallest of smiles and pleaded with my eyes for him to let me have this moment alone.

I saw concern in his eyes but he let out an exasperated sigh before bowing his head in defeat. He mustered up a smile and bowed to me. I returned his bow with a tilt of my head and I watched as he walked back to the monastery.

I turned back to face the wide expanse of forest surrounding the monastery and straightened my posture. I closed my eyes once again and began my breathing exercises.

Only a few minutes into my meditation I heard a snap come from near me. I went stiff and focused myself on hearing any sort of movement near my location.

I heard light footfall coming from just left of me and I sprang up, grabbing the persons arm and bending it behind their back with incredible speed. It wasn't until I heard the whimpering and a plea of innocence that I realized it was the blue eyed boy, Rogan was his name.

I reluctantly let go of his arm but kept myself poised for defense. I had no idea why he was here but I wasn't taking any chances. It occurred to me briefly that I was probably being too paranoid but I couldn't shake thoughts right now without looking crazy.

"I'm sorry Ara. When I asked Durlan where you were he said you were out here meditating. I thought I would come find you instead of waiting for you to return to Calluna's." He let out a breathy laugh and rubbed the back of his neck.

I loosened my stance and straightened up. My face was deadpan. What the hell did this kid think he was doing?

"What do you want" I pried dryly.

"I just," he hesitated, "I wanted to say it was nice to see you again. I still remember you from the orphanage and to be honest I was hoping I would meet you again someday. And here we are!" He smiled widely at me.

I cocked my head to left slightly. Rogan really was new here. I could tell he had little to no discipline and decided to play along with this conversation he was trying to have.

"Yeah, here we are. Do you need anything from me or did you just feel the need to socialize with me?" I questioned.

"Oh, um, yes. I actually wanted to ask you what tradition you were in. I'm going to be joining the monks who control the four elements."

Did I really want to tell this kid anything about myself? Did he have some other, hidden intentions? Then again, how dangerous could he really be? "I haven't decided yet but I'll probably follow Durlan's tradition. The way of the open palm" I answered.

I saw Rogan's smile waver and his eyes seemed to darken. Unless I was mistaken he looked disappointed. But in a split second he was back to being a beacon of light. "Do you mind if I sit and talk with you a while?"

I was taken aback by his question. "Oh, um, sure." I sat down and he sat to my left. We talked for some time and the buzzing in the back of my head telling me to avoid him calmed itself until my mind sat in a comfortable uneasiness. Our conversations flowed and changed like air currents, picking up and slowing down without once faltering. Only when the sun began to stain the sky with its colors did Rogan stand and announce his leave.

He waved a goodbye and I nodded in response. The quiet that followed his absence was uncomfortable but not unwelcome. I decided to stay the night out here as I had done many times before. Once again, I assumed my meditation position and began pushing out my thoughts, the last of which being that I may have found a friend in Rogan. I small smile crept onto my lips as I detached myself from my troubles.

_

My first thought after opening my eyes was that the sky was more orange than usual at sunset. Only after feeling an uncomfortable heat at my back did I realize the orange in the sky was from the sparking fire consuming the trees around me.

I sprang to my feet in surprise as I tried to make sense of my situation. Everything was on fire, the beautiful greens trees I used to run through were charcoal black and crumbling, and the crashing sounds of them falling over echoed around me. The skies were clogged with ash.

How long has this been going on? With sudden realization, I ran as fast as I could back to my monastery. As I reached the front I saw the sign smoldering on the ground, only the words "Lost Souls" were now visible as the other words had been burned away.

I was not prepared for the sight that was waiting for me upon entering the monastery grounds. My eyes tried to adjust to the colors before me, all I could see were oranges and reds and yellows as fire consumed every flammable thing in the area. Monks that I had grown up with lay dead or unconscious on the ground as others fought each other.

To my horror, I came to the revelation that the followers of the four elements were responsible for this attack and was most likely the ones who started the fire. I could see cloaked figures performing moves I recognized as the elemental tradition and saw unconscious members of my monastery being dragged off by the cloaked figures into the forest. From what I could tell they were all followers of the elements.

A scream from a familiar voice pierced my ears. It was unmistakably Durlan's voice. To my right, around fifty feet away, was Durlan fighting two cloaked figures. I couldn't make out their faces but judging by their fighting style they were elemental monks. They fought mercilessly against the man I had come to love. I saw his eyes flash with ki energy as he used his inner strength to try and get the upper hand but the two he was fighting wouldn't relent.

My hands began to tremble as I fought an internal struggle. I needed to help Durlan but I didn't want to hurt anyone. I had gone though enough pain to know I didn't want to inflict that on anyone else. Falling into my impulses, I smacked the side of my head to shake out any thoughts of cowardice and began running to help the man who helped me.

I was only ten feet away when the one figure shot a blast of fire into Durlan's back. He fell to his hands and knees, charred and coughing up blood. The figure who dealt that blow on my mentor said something to the other figure before running off towards the monastery.

I had no time to wonder what they were up to, I had to help Durlan. Running at top speed I smashed my fist into the side of the head of the lone monk standing over the broken body of Durlan.

The figure recoiled instinctually from my punch and their hood fell down from their head revealing a face I knew too well.

We stood with our eyes locked in silent conversation; mine filled with anger and his filled with a sadness that only made his blue eyes brighter, creating an even greater contrast with the orange flames surrounding us. "How could you" I growled. "These people did nothing wrong and you just decide to murder them all? What does it feel like to be a monster?"

His soft and sad gaze turned to one of determination. He set his jaw and spoke with a voice much more serious and hard than I was used to. "Listen, Ara. You don't have much time. You need to get out of here if you want to live. They'll kill you. They'll kill anyone who doesn't follow their ways. I'm telling you this because I care about you-" a small explosion in the background made him flinch. He looked off into the distance before turning his gaze back to me. "Please just leave." And with that he ran off towards the figure that had disappeared only moments before.

A cough caught my attention and I turned towards Durlan. He had rolled into his back and was coughed up blood, the sound of the crimson fluid gurgling in throat almost drowned out all of the other sounds around me. I was supposed to leave but how could I leave him? I knelt down beside his burnt body and began to panic. I couldn't do anything. I could try carrying him out of here but would he survive that long? I needed to try. I began to slide my arms under his frail body but he put a hand to my chest.

"Ara...please leave me. I won't be able to get out of here alive and my body will only slow you down." His voice was rougher than it used to be and the cracks in his voice, a voice that used to be so smooth and soft, seemed to crack something inside me.

"I'm not leaving you, idiot. Stop being a wimp and let me pick you up." I reached back down to wrap my arm under his torso but he grabbed my hand before I could do so.

"Ara you're the idiot. There's no saving me. I tried my best but my best wasn't good enough. Promise me you'll stay alive for me?" His voice was so desperate I almost couldn't believe it was him talking.

Tears began falling from my eyes and I hastily wiped them away with my free hand. "I don't need to promise you anything. You'll be with me to make sure I don't die. You can't die Durlan. We'll survive together, remember? We'll always be together."

The last thing I expected was to see Durlan smile. "I'm glad to see you've still got determination in your heart. Please don't lose that. I'll miss talking to you every day. Be good for me and promise me you'll find Onas and tell him what happened to me. I can't stand the thought of him never knowing. You need to get out of here and not only stay alive for me but for Onas too. Can you do that for me? Please Ara..." His voice broke when he said my name again. I saw a tear roll down his cheek and he winced when it hit a particularly raw burn spot on his cheek.

I mustered up what was left of my voice and responded. "Of course, I'd do anything for you. You saved me, this is the least I could do for you" I lowered my head and whispered "I just wish I could do more to help you. I can't...I don't know what to do after this."

Durlan reached up and cupped my face with his free hand. He let out a teary laugh through a broken smile. "Ara I know you'll be able to move on from this. You're stronger than you think you are. Just don't doubt yourself and you could rule the world." He pulled my head down close to his and I laid it down on his chest. His heartbeat was faint.

When he spoke next his voice was almost a whisper "Ara...I can't hear anything anymore. I hope I'm still here and you can hear me because I forgot to tell you something. I love you and I've placed all my best on you. Please don't prove me wrong." I felt him kiss the top of my head weakly.

I lifted my head to look in his eyes which were filled with tears at this point. When he saw that I heard him he smiled for the last time before a choking sound came from his throat, his body shook and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. An image of my parents flashed in the back of my mind.

He was dead, gone.

I reached towards his neck and felt for the necklace he always wore. I found the leather string and pulled it gently from around his neck. I closed his eyes and stood up. I bowed to him one last time and began running to the tree where I hid all of my things. I could only hope that wasn't gone too.

As I ran I looked back to see a tree fall and smash a hole in the roof of the monastery. Not only had I lost my family again today, I lost my home too. I pulled the leather necklace with the small bird pendant over my head and around my neck and continued running.

By the time I reached the tree with my belongings I was sobbing. I threw my bag over my shoulder and grabbed my lute then continued running. I decided at this moment I wasn't a kid anymore. No more Ara, I couldn't stand hearing that name anymore. I also decided to finally give myself a surname that would let me remember this moment. And so I decided to abandon my past self and become stronger and better able to protect those I love. I quickened my pace as much as I could. I didn't want to see what I would do to one of those elemental monks if they found me in this moment.

Once again I had no idea where I was going and I had nowhere to go. All I knew is that I would one day make sure those bright blue eyes went dark by my hands.