Chapter Four.

Demi.
She'd gone back right back to the place she swore she'd never go again. She didn't mean to, but not eating at a time like this never came so easily. It was like when life became too much she turned to Miley. When she couldn't turn to Miley she turned to the alternative. It was wrong, but she had to get control somehow.

A part of her wondered if Joe was really over her. He sat there with his damned girlfriend and just happened to show up wherever she went. Go shopping? He's there. Turn on the TV? They're there. Go to set? He decided to visit...with her. All she wanted to do was get away. She understood that they'd broken up, but did it really mean that he had to flaunt her? She got the point, now. She was better than Demi ever could be. She'd had enough, she surrendered, he won. She just wanted him to stop showing up everywhere. It was too hard to put their friendship back together with her there too.

She stuck that finger down her throat again, knowing that she was going down the path it took years to recover from. Tears came, and for the first time since she started doing it four years ago she didn't feel better. Panic came in seconds. This had to make her feel better, it was all she had left, it was the only way out she had. But it didn't.

She grabbed her phone, instantly dialing Miley's number, crying, finally breaking down, finally letting everything that had been happening the past six months get to her. She'd been trying to put up walls against her problems and pretend that they weren't there, but she clearly saw now that they were. These past few weeks, with Miley, with Joe... She put the phone up to her ear, letting this be her last hope at sanity. When she heard that same voice mail stating how it was Miley and to leave a message she sighed, hanging up again.

She sat there against the wall, crying until she had to puke again, wishing she could tell herself that it was all gonna be okay like she'd been doing. And now without tour, without Nick there to tell her over and over again how she'd be okay and that she was special, she didn't know what to do. Nick had been that little voice in the back of her head the past few months that kept her sane, but now his job was gone for Miley. Again. Always pushed aside for Miley.

She rolled her eyes, this time making herself throw up just for the heck of it. A part of her wanted to curse Miley, the other part wanted to praise her. All of her didn't understand.

"Demi?"

Her head shot up as she looked over to the door, jumping, not realizing how easy it would have been for anyone to walk in.

"Shorty, hey," she stood up, going over to give her a hug.

She pushed her back and Demi closed her eyes, knowing that she'd been caught. "It's not what it looks like."

"You just shoved two hands down your throat, I think it's exactly what it looks like," she looked down, avoiding eye contact. "Does Joe know?"

Demi shook her head softly and it took a split second for her backup dancer to turn around. She ran forward, grabbing her arm, looking at her. "Please don't tell him."

"I'm telling all of them, Demi!"

"You can't, they won't understand," she plead and as much as Shorty wanted to say that it was okay and she wouldn't she couldn't.

"I need to."

"Don't, Alex. I swear, I've had this in control," she begged.

"Look, I don't know what's going on between you and Ashley and Joe-"

"Good, because it isn't your business," she spat. "And neither is what you just saw. So, just keep it on the DL, okay? Please."

"No, because obviously this little love triangle is hurting you, and so is the fact that Joe screwed you over-"

She didn't know why she did it. Shorty didn't say anything bad yet, she didn't hit her, if anything she was only trying to help her, yet all of the sudden it was like every hate comment, every time she saw Ashley and Joe together, every time Miley ignored her calls came out and she couldn't take it. Instinctively her hand came down to the other girl's face, punching it.

The second she did it she gasped, covering her mouth with her hands, shaking her head, crying more, harder. "I'm so sorry, oh, my God, Lex, I swear I didn't mean it. Oh, my, God."

"Demi, c'mon – What happened, shorty?" Joe cut off, staring at their back-up dancer as Demi looked down, knowing that she would have to tell him. She'd need to tell him everything. "You alright?"

"Yeah, fine," she lied, meeting eyes as Demi felt relieved before shaking her head.

"You sure, you have a-"

"I punched her," Demi confessed, looking down.

Joe walked over and grabbed her chin making her look him in the eye and she saw Ashley by the door and rolled her eyes. Of course she couldn't stay downstairs for two minutes. "You did what?"

"I know, I-I lost it."

"Why?" He demanded. Demi pulled away from him, walking out and pushing past Ashley as Joe chased her down the stairs, both of them meeting his dad at the bottom who was waiting to listen to the new songs Demi had recorded. The songs she thought were good enough to be on a CD after all this time.

"She punched Shorty," Joe spilled at once. His dad laid his papers on the counter, his eyes widening a little.

"Demi?"

"I-I'm sorry."

She prayed that this would be enough to get Joe away from Ashley for two damn seconds and realize that he was killing her. For them both to stop getting shoved down her throat every five seconds.

He looked up, seeing the girl who'd apparently just been hit at the top of the stairs and waved her down. "Shorty, let's see."

In that second Demi wished that she wouldn't have done it. The way that it was Shorty who looked like she felt bad and not her. It wasn't her fault. Shorty was just in there, pissing her off, in the wrong place, saying the wrong things. This was Demi's fault, she shouldn't have let it get that far. IT was nothing to punch her for.

"Jesus, Dem, how bad did you hit her?"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"But you did," Joe spat, crossing his arms.

"What happened?"

"I-I don't want to say, not with everyone here."

Mr. Jonas nodded. "You can just tell Joe."

Demi shook her head, tears coming to her eyes as she realized how much it all changed. "I definitely don't want to tell him."

"How about me and you go explain it all to him, Dems?" Alex suggested, walking over to her, black-eye and all.

She nodded, hugging her and shaking her head. "I am so sorry."

"It's fine, I get it," she promised. But Demi knew for a fact that it wasn't okay. She wished she knew when she became this person, someone who took all their anger out on one of their closest friends. Granted, they weren't best-friends, but they were close.

"Let's go outside and talk," he decided, leading them out as Demi glanced back at Joe. For the first time he looked like the hurt one, and she couldn't help but be happy for that.

"Mr. Jonas, I swear, I'm fine, it's really not-"

"Alex, I appreciate that, but-"

"I hit her because she threatened to tell Joe some things that I wouldn't have been able to handle anyone else knowing," Demi interfered, just wanting to get this over with. "She walked in on something and I wanted to hide it. It was all my fault."

Mr. Jonas sighed, walking over to Demi, that softness in his eyes he wore when he was talking to clients that he genuinely cared about. It made her feel just a little better knowing that he didn't hate her. "Do you want a break, Dem?"

"I don't want a break."

"But do you need one?" he clarified.

Demi looked down, not really knowing the answer herself.

"I need help," she found herself admitting. She didn't think she'd ever say those three words so outright, but it was the words that she'd been screaming inside since she was thirteen. She supposed they only too so much screaming before they came out.

"What's going on, Sweetie?"

"I messed up," she let more tears fall as she immediately tried to wipe them away.

"What did you walk in on, Alex?"

She looked to Demi who just gave a little nod in approval before she turned back to the older man, trying to find the right way to say the words. "She was making herself throw up."

He let out a deep breath, knowing exactly what this meant. He'd heard of Demi's past before, but he didn't think he'd ever need to deal with the problems she'd had. She was so strong that it was hard to see through her when she was breaking down.

"Are you doing it again, Demi?"

She bit her lip, nodding, trying to figure out what she was going to do.

"I'm so scared," she spoke out softly, beginning to sob a little. "I never meant to hurt anyone. I-It wasn't supposed to get this far."

She'd gone right back to the place she swore she'd never go again.

Nick.
She wasn't opening up at all. She still wasn't telling anyone what had pushed her over the edge. She was scared to death inside and everyone knew it, but she was still hiding behind the walls she was sure that he couldn't break down. He'd beg to differ.

Nonetheless, his mom was still making him tell her the news about Demi despite how many times he tried to convince her otherwise. This wasn't a good idea. She couldn't deal with all of this right now. It was just too much, she'd already tried to kill herself, now they were going to tell her that her best-friend wasn't okay, too? Well that just sounded brilliant.

He dreaded this, pounding his hand on her door.

He heard shuffling before the lock clicked and she slightly opened the door. The second she saw it was him she rolled her eyes. "Isn't it a little early for your nightly check up? I'm still alive. Haven't killed myself yet."

"You aren't funny," he crossed his arms, holding in the urge to beg her to stop joking about it. He didn't think this was a funny matter. "And, I actually need to talk to you about something."

"You're gonna talk about something? Well, that's a first, isn't it?" She opened the door a little, letting him slip in.

"And to think I didn't like it when she was quiet," he muttered to himself.

She walked to her bed, opening a drawer and grabbing a box a cigarettes. He couldn't help but wonder where she got all these when she hadn't stepped out of the house once since she got here. IT didn't really matter though, and he glared as she took one out.

"Want one?"

He let out a sarcastic smile and snatched it from her. "I'll take the whole pack, thanks."

She shook her head, a real smile playing on her face, a secretive one. She found this all quite funny. He was glad there was still one joke she'd always laugh at. Him.

She lit it, letting out a clear puff of smoke while he kept a straight face. "What do you need to tell?"

"Your best-friend's in rehab," he told her.

It was like he didn't say anything. Her expression didn't change the slightest as she blew out a smooth cloud of smoke.

"Demi's in rehab," he repeated.

"I heard you the first time," she told him, attitude laced through her voice. "What's your point? We all have our problems."

He stared at her, for the first time not able to believe the words he was hearing come out of her mouth.

"Don't be a bitch, Miley," he growled, trying his hardest to get her to show her feelings. If was possible she'd gotten even more stubborn.

"Nick, Demi's a big girl, alright? She can deal with it."

"Oh, just like you could deal with your problems, right?"

Her face turned hard and she took in another breath of smoke, blowing it out as if it were an answer. He stood up, knowing that he wouldn't be getting anywhere. Not tonight at least. Right now it looked like it had been pointless to even come here. She wasn't opening up at all.

this is short, but i swear i already have another chapter waiting :))