Chapter 3

The Journal Readings

June 17th 1999

I've had a revelation. I believe in my purpose, this is my story. And here is the opening chapter of my life.

It happened last night. It was lights out, probably 11:30 at the latest, I was on my way to Shinobu's room to say goodnight. She was on the homework I explained to here the previous day. I watched her diligently working so late into the night. Pride welled up within me as I realized I wasn't completely a loser in this damnable world.

An urge seized hold of me at this point, a deep dark throbbing sensation flowed through to the back of my head. Her neck was a tan color, darkened from all the days doing laundry, the skin was taut with youth.

I used all the willpower under my control to not succumb, but I admit...I failed. As my teeth clenched into the back of her neck she turned and began to scream. To avoid being caught in such a situation I did the only thing I could have done, I kissed her. I got an instant reaction, she fell apart completely, telling me everything she'd ever thought about me, while it was pleasant and quite unexpected, it was not what I wanted.

I lied to this poor girl, I told I loved her more than anything, about her beauty, about everything under the sky and she bought it. This power was freeing, it was...invigorating, I found a new Keitaro, on that I preferred.

June 20th 1999

It has been done, I feel overjoyed at the sensations I have felt the past few days. Let me tell my story.

The morning of the 18th was an awkward one to say the least, Shinobu was flushed red the entire time and burned the breakfast meal. Not only that but Naru saw the mark on the back of her neck, so I caught hell for that.

Otherwise it was a picture perfect day, well at least until I spoke with Shinobu that evening. She had completely fallen for my ruse that happened entirely by accident. She is such a weak-minded person. But we did indeed talk throughout the night, as it turns out, she is indeed a bright person but isn't equipped with a good background to draw from...who am I kidding? Nobody in this forsaken dorm is. I suppose that is the reason she moved here.

She told me that she's had a crush on me since I arrived here...Apparently she's still in shock from what happened the night before. I then told her that I had a "surprise" waiting for her the following night, an all day and night study session with yours truly, I had arranged it at a local hotel so nobody would bother us. And she ate every single word of it up, I couldn't believe it, she completely trusted me, I suppose my past will indeed prove useful after all.

The following morning was uneventful, I asked Shinobu to keep my gift a secret lest the other residents get jealous (like that would ever happen) so the day virtually sailed on by quite smoothly.

That night Shinobu and I got to the hotel...it was a real dump. The room I had chose was relatively clean, I had been fixing it up all that morning. What Shinobu thought was that we were going to study and that maybe, just maybe something would happen. Sadly enough...her dreams were dashed to pieces.

As soon as she sat down to get comfortable at the kotetsu I grabbed a fistful of her hair and slammed her face on the edge, once, twice, three times, the blood flowed freely from her nose and mouth. The fluid ran so thick she began to choke.

The feeling was euphoric, all my life, the only thing I could expect was disappointment, I had taken destiny into my own hands.

As I stood there, experiencing my new-found self, Shinobu's gasping and weeping started to fade. She had crawled to the front door? This was no good, this time I moved with a purpose, at that point she had already opened up the entry way, I grabbed her and dragged her back in. I did not speak to her at all for the rest of the following process. Even as I recall it now it makes my mouth water.

She struggled up until the very end, it was interesting, the human spirit is quite resilient to many things, including death.

I did not hurt her anymore than was required, she had already paid for the pain she had caused me. I drew out the carving knife I had brought along and plunged it into her chest, she lasted only a few seconds afterwords. The carving knife was not only for the purpose of a clean kill. I now know that carving meat is a long laborious process. I was up until 5 A.M. It took another three hours to entirely scour the place of blood and other fluids and yet another hour to haul my spoils to the dorm freezer. All the identifiables ( skin, hair, etc.) went straight into the pond.

After all of this I still had to cover up what I had done. It was surprisingly easy, as soon as Naru and Motoko questioned me, I simply told them I was helping Haitani and Shirai move and that Shinobu had a family emergency. I ended up stuttering through most of it but I got the job done, they believed me. It is quite shocking how naïve these girls actually are.

June 22nd 1999

I am a sick individual. What the hell was I thinking? I've been wasting this delicious meat I worked so hard for. The past few days I have been sharing my bounty with the others, of course, they don't know what it is, but it pains me to see them casually eating the most delicate parts of Shinobu's anatomy. What dishonor.

June 25th 1999

I am starting to run low...i need to find another way to obtain more, lets see...

The only readily available option I have is Su. Not only is she overly trusting, it would be an easy task to conceal her death.

Wow...look at me, already in the stages of planning... It truly is different than the past. No longer do the chains of mercy and forgiveness bind me to perpetual unhappiness, there are only the weak and the dead.