Glory Is A Heavy Burden

by Chosen Undead27

With the reapers gone Shepard can finally live out the rest of his life peacefully, or can he. (Miranda and Shepard pairing) The title is taken from a quote by Orianna Fallaci. Warning, contains extreme violence and sexual themes. You have been warned.

4. When you wake up

WARNING: Sexually explicit material ahead.

Normandy Crash Site...

The CIC was loud and disarrayed mess. The crew members of the Normandy worked hast-fully as they reattached the paneling to the floors and walls. Luckily the crew members had managed to fix most of the electrical wiring, but they still were a long way from flying again.

"Tali," Garrus spoke into his omni tool as he walked through the busy CIC. "What's the status on the engine core?"

"Fixable, but it's going to take some time." Tali replied frustrated by the never ending problems of the engine.

Garrus sighed "Get it done; I don't want to be here any longer than we have to be."

"This couldn't get any worse." Garrus mumbled to himself.

"Hey Scars!" James yelled out from across noisy the CIC. "You might want to come see this!"

"Alright!" Garrus shouted back at the young alliance marine.

James left the CIC and headed towards the exit of the Normandy.

"Why do I even bother to talk sometimes?" Garrus said aloud as he walked over to the ships exit.

Earth- Hospital- Commander Shepard's room...

Miranda smiled lightly as Shepard gently squeezed her hand.

"He's responding to my voice, that's promising." Miranda thought silently as she looked at Shepard's unconscious face.

"Shepard, you really scared me there." Miranda's smile slowly faded away. "I thought I lost you."

Lawson chuckled lightly. "I don't know why I put up with you." Her voice had a humorous tone. "You always seem to find ways to make me nervous."

Miranda's expression slowly became somber as she reflected on the past.

She exhaled deeply. "When we came back from the collector ship..." Lawson's words were an ambivalent mess; she seemed to be full of joy and flooded with sadness. "I-I was... nervous, to say the least." The ex-operative struggled to find the right words for what she felt. "To be honest, I wasn't prepared to come back from that mission alive." Miranda started to scratch her exposed chest. "Don't get me wrong, I was glad that we did but I wasn't sure where we stood. I knew that I wanted to continue the... relationship that we stared" She began to fidget slightly in her seat as she tried to explain herself. "However I didn't know what you wanted. I wasn't sure if what you felt for me was genuine or if you were just using me as a coping method..." Miranda exhaled heavily. "You were the first real thing I had in my life and I was scared of losing you."

She leaned forward in her chair and placed a kiss upon Shepard's brow. "When you wake up, everything will change for us, and it will be on our terms."

The dark woods of ruination...

Shepard smiled as he looked at the beautiful woman walking by his side.

The forest became brighter and more alive with every step they took. The trees were a healthy and lively green, the ground was an explosion of colours created by the flowers scattered upon the forest floor, and the air was clear and refreshing.

Shepard found it hard to accept that they were even in the same forest. The ashen and decaying woods seem to be only a fait memory, a part of his past that no longer afflicted him, like a simple childhood fear of the dark.

"Shepard, you really scared me there." The Australian voice broke the peacefully silence.

Shepard rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I could have handled that better."

"I thought I lost you." Miranda's voice was emotional. She pulled John towards a nearby park bench.

"Miranda, you will never lose me." Shepard assured her as they sat down on the bench.

The conviction in his words was sincere. The commander truly cared about the beautiful woman that was sitting beside him, and nothing would pull them apart again.

Miranda smiled slightly "I don't know why I put up with you."

The human specter chuckled lightly at the ex-Cerberus officer.

She looked away from him and stared at the colourful scenery. ""You always seem to find ways to make me nervous."

Shepard's smile faded away as he noticed the tone of Miranda's voice. On the surface the ex-officer seemed to be jesting at all of their almost comical adventures, but deep down he could hear the somberness in her voice that came along with reflecting upon the past.

"Miranda," Shepard's voice was coated in worry and adoration. "What's wrong?"

She exhaled deeply. "When we came back from the collector ship..."

Post suicide mission, Normandy SR-2, Medical Bay...

Dr. Chakwas stared intensely at the shelf of medical supplies, she had to do something or else she would start to remember the macabre hell hole.

Chakwas shot out of her chair and started to pace the room to and fro.

She had to do something or she would risk going insane. Chakwas darted over to the shelves and began to rearrange the medical supplies for the forty seventh time.

Chakwas released an unsteady breath, she had already examined all of the surviving crew members, what more could she do?

Karin started to panic. There was nothing to be done, nothing to take her mind off of the grisly events that had taken place. The longer that the doctor did nothing, the more she could smell the nauseating scent of that horrific pit of despair. The collector's odor was that of organs that had been preserved in formaldehyde, it was earthy yet unnatural.

The doctor started to feel the scream of the colonist in her ears as the cool and breathy whisper of fear crawl through her like a parasitic worm.

Karin could recall every moment in those god forsaken pods; it was like being in a coffin. She remembered the pleas for life and death, and she too wanted to scream, to rave out into the void for help. Yet her lips were sowed shut by the invisible threads of fear.

The automatic doors slide open to revel Miranda Lawson leaning heavily onto Commander Shepard, her left leg was covered in blood.

Doctor Chakwas was immediately broken out of her own personal train of thought.

Karin gestured to nearby bed "What happen?" the doctor asked as the couple moved towards the bed.

"I got hit in my left thigh." Miranda answered briefly through her gritted teeth.

"Alright," Karin said in a calm tone. "Get onto the bed and I will see what I can do."

The couple hobbled awkwardly over to the bed. "I can do this on my own." Miranda whispered as she lightly pushed herself away from Shepard.

Lawson held onto the railings of the bed, preparing herself. She lifted herself off of the floor with her upper body. The ex-Cerberus operative attempted to lift her left leg over the railing when a sharp and burning pain caused her to faultier and fall backward.

Miranda tried to grab on to something, anything to stop herself from falling. She started to panic as she felt the inertia. The feeling disappeared as something caught her, cushioning her to a slow painless stop.

"I got you." Shepard said as he held Miranda in his arms.

"Thank you." She responded quietly as she looked up at the commander.

"Shepard," Karin spoke loudly, gaining their attention. "Could you please lift Miss Lawson onto the bed before she gives herself a concussion?" Her question sounded more like a demand.

Shepard nodded silently as he gently and slowly scooped Miranda up into his arms.

She felt safe and happy in his arms, she was ashamed of herself. Not only was it horribly optimistic, it was also a sign of weakness. She was a strong logical and independent person, she shouldn't care nor let Shepard affect her.

But he did...

Lawson cared about Shepard, even though she had no clue if she meant anything to him. Was all of his flirting and kindness just a deceptive way of getting into her pants, or was it something more than that?

"You better not drop me." Miranda quipped in a serious tone.

"You are nowhere near that heavy." Shepard responded in a light and playful tone as he carefully placed her into the bed.

The commander backed away from the bed, allowing Chakwas some space so she could start working on Miranda's leg.

"I have to go check on the rest of the crew. We'll talk later." Shepard spoke softly to Miranda before he left.

Lawson's heart sank slightly as nervousness wracked her body. "Is he going to tell me that he just wanted to get into my pants, that he wants nothing to do with me anymore? Or does he just need to talk about the future plans for the Normandy? Dam it, I need to find out where we stand. I hate all of this uncertainty; I should have kept my distance. "

Deep down she knew that keeping her distance was impossible, he was fire and her heart was painfully frozen.

"Alright," Chakwas said as she glanced over Miranda's injury. "You need to get rid of your clothing so I can assess the wound."

Miranda tried to push her complex thoughts and emotions out of her head.

"Yes," Miranda's voice spoke out but there seemed to be a lack of thought behind the words, like a fireless wisp of smoke, lacking purpose and belonging. "That would be for the best." Her voice was still hollow sounding as she stared blankly at her legs.

Lawson unzipped her catsuit as Dr. Chakwas looked at her in a questioning manner.

"Are you alright, emotionally speaking?" Karin asked in a concerned tone.

"I'm fine." Miranda responded coldly as she slid the cat suit down her body.

Karin scolded herself mentally. Lawson was a very private person, to ask such a question so bluntly and expect am answer was ridiculous.

Miranda continued to undress, wincing as she arched her back in order to pull the catsuit down her legs. Once the fabric reached her boots, Lawson then sat up and unbuckled the straps on her boots so she could take them off and slid her legs out of her catsuit.

Karin patiently waited for Miranda to undress when she saw observed something curious. The doctor found that the normally strong, cold, and independent operative would occasionally look towards the door with a short stare of longing and unspoken need.

The doctor started to work diligently. The wound on Miranda's thigh was a ragged gash, cause by a stray piece of shrapnel.

"You weren't shot." Karin informed Miranda as she started to scan Lawson's leg.

Lawson slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position so she could look at the wound herself.

"The ragged tear would indicate a shrapnel wound, correct?" The Cerberus officer asked as if she didn't know the answer.

"That is correct Miss Lawson." Karin's voice was quiet as she distracted herself with scans of Miranda's left leg. "The shrapnel has also damaged your femur."

There were multiple pieces of metal logged into Miranda's Rectus Femoris and Sartorius muscles, the femur was also damaged by the shrapnel; luckily the sharp metal had missed the Femoral artery.

"I'm going to give you a sedative," Chakwas started too explained as she grabbed the necessary supplies, turning her back towards Lawson. "Then I will remove the Shrapnel, this will allow me to repair the femur, stanch the bleeding, and finally dress the wound." Karin continued as she prepared the sedative. She flicked the needle a few times before looking back at Lawson.

Chakwas felt a rich sensation of melancholy as she looked at Miranda's face.

The younger woman appeared to be in a trance like state as she stared at the door. There was a child like nervousness in Miranda's eyes, an anxiety that was brought on with the recollection of dark memories.

"Are you alright Miss Lawson?" Karin asked in slow and caring voice, like that of a mother.

"Yeah, I was just lost in thought." Miranda's voice held a wavering tone. "We can continue when you are ready." The ex-operatives voice was cold and impersonal once again. All remnants of her anxiety seemed to disappear from her face, as if they never existed.

"Alright then," Karin spoke after a brief pause "Let me see your neck." Chakwas said as she moved closer to the bed.

"You can all have the rest of the day off," Shepard's voice echoed through the cargo bay. "We can leave the rest of the repairs for another day. We've all been through hell and deserve a breather. Good work people."

The Ship's crew cheered before they scatter and talk amongst themselves, trying to find something to do, lest they fall asleep and find themselves back in those pods.

"Hey," a voiced called out from behind him. "Commander Shepard."

"Hello Kelly," the commander greeted the yeoman with a warm tone and small smile, but it was all a facade, in all honesty he felt like shit. He smelled like sweat and collector guts, his ribs had a dull pain, He was worried about Miranda and on top of all that he was fatigued. "Did you need something?"

"No, I Just wanted to thank you for rescuing us." Kelly's tone seemed almost happy, but Shepard could hear the slight hint of woe.

"You don't need to thank me," Shepard's voice was confident. "I couldn't leave my entire crew behind."

"Well," Kelly's voice became flirtatious as she looked up and down the commander's body. "I think you still need some type of reward, I can think of a few ways that we can do that." Kelly lightly bit her bottom lip as she stared into Shepard's eyes.

The commander rubbed the back of his neck. "I-I uh, I have things... that I need to do." Shepard answered awkwardly.

"Alright, find me if you change your mind." Kelly said in a sultry tone that held the presence of disappointment.

She left to go join the other crew members, leaving Shepard with an awkward feeling of embarrassment.

The commander sighed in relief and mumbled quietly to himself. "That was awkward."

"Yeah, that was." Garrus's jocular voice could be heard approaching from behind the commander. "Commander Shepard turning down sex, who are you and what did you do with the real Commander?"

Shepard chuckled lightly. "I'm just not interested."

"Are you sure that this has nothing to do with a certain dark haired female that's aboard this ship."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent with me; I know when someone's lying." Garrus jokingly scolded the commander. "And the googly eyes you make at Miss Lawson don't help your innocent plea."

"How do you know what googly eyes are?" Shepard stared at Garrus, perplexed by his friend's knowledge of human slang.

"I'm around humans so much that I'm basically one of you squishy things." Garrus deadpanned.

Shepard laughed, causing his ribs to hurt slightly.

"This is why I can say without a doubt," Garrus continued his rant once the commander's laughter died down. "That you have the stupidest human grin I have ever seen. It's strange that it's only when you look at Miss Lawson that you grin so stupidly, granted, human faces always look stupid, but yours seems especially stupid when our XO is around."

Shepard smiled at the Turian. "Look, I just want to have a shower and go to sleep."

"Well you seem like you're in a hurry," Garrus replied with a smile "Is that because Miss Lawson will be involved in those activities."

Shepard turned away from the Turian and started to walk towards the elevator, Garrus followed closely behind him.

"So now you're going to follow me," the commander sighed "Great."

"Why would I want follow you?" Garrus asked in a baffled manner. "I'm not suicidal."

Shepard looked towards his friend with a puzzled face. "What does that even mean?"

Garrus laugh lightly as Shepard pressed the Elevator button. After a few seconds the elevator door opened, allowing the human and Turian entrance into the small room.

Garrus chuckled as he pated the commander on the shoulder. "Everywhere you go you manage to find some new form of hell."

Shepard laughed. "That's a fair point."

Garrus pressed the buttons for the Captain's Cabin and the Crew's Quarters. The elevator ascended as a foreboding silence slowly slide its way into the small room.

"When the reapers arrive," Garrus's voice broke the silence "I will be with you the whole way."

The elevator's doors opened to reveal the Crew Quarters.

Garrus smiled lightly. "There's no Shepard without out Vakarian."

Shepard smiled back. "Thanks Garrus; I'm glad that I can count on you."

Garrus nodded towards the commander before the elevator doors closed behind him.

Miranda's eyes slowly fluttered opened. Her vision was blurry, and her head pounded. The steel table that she was lying on made her spine uncomfortable, the cool metal chilled her skin.

Miranda's visions returned and she could see a blinding white roof, pain pulsated into her head forcing her to close her eyes. The pulsation was insufferable; her brain felt like it was on fire. The ex-operative tried to raise a hand to her temple in a vain attempt to sooth the pain, but she couldn't. Anxiety filled her as she realised that her arms, legs, and head were in restraints, limiting her movement.

Miranda pulled on restraints in an attempt of breaking free, but they wouldn't budge.

Lawson breathed in and out deeply, calming herself so she could reassess the situation. She twisted awkwardly so she could get a better look at her surroundings.

Miranda smiled as she saw the orange glow of her hard light constraints.

Cerberus had every high ranking operative and agent implanted with a device that could hack hard light cuffs.

Miranda flicked her wrist in order to activate the device, but nothing happened.

Panic started to set in and she struggled against the restraints once again, but it was hopeless and deep down... Miranda knew it.

There was a loud sound of an intercom being activated before a deep Australian accented voice filled the room. "Stop struggling child!" Miranda's blood ran cold, chilling the very marrow in her bones. "This is for your own good."

Miranda wanted to yell threats of harm and mutilation towards her father but she couldn't, all she could yell was "Father please don't, it hurts so much!" however it was not her own voice that spoke out, it was the voice of a small girl who had the same name. "I promise that I will play the piano better!" The child's pleas reverberated off of the wall and fell upon deaf ears.

Miranda could feel the cold tips of a thousand needles press into the base of her skull, warm tears wetted her cheeks. The little girl wanted to scream and thrash around but her muscles were frozen.

There was a warm sensation as the needles were injected into her spine. Slowly the fluid coursed through Miranda's nervous system. The fluid seemed to become rapidly colder as it gradually flooded her nervous system, causing a light tingle. The tingling quickly turned in to a burning sting that grew stronger every second.

The stinging became unbearable as it filled the little girl's nervous system, the pain was like an electrical shock yet it was caustic and burning, like pouring fluoroantimonic acid on a bee sting. The pain came with a peculiar taste of electricity that flooded the mouth like a swig of rum.

Miranda's breathing quickened as the pain intensified, drilling the base of her skull with a nauseating pain.

Lawson jolted in to an upright sitting position, her breathing was quick and shallow, and a thin layer of sweat covered her naked body. She looked around the room and slowly began to calm down as she realized where she was.

Miranda sighed in relief, she was no longer the tortured girl that was restrained to the table, that little girl had died a long time ago. Lawson was now the woman who had risen from the ashes of the child. The young girl was shy, nervous, and desperate for someone to hold on to. All of that had changed, yet, at the same time... it all seemed to stay the same.

Like a permanent stain, all of Miranda's self doubt seemed to fade and become harder to see, but it never disappeared.

"Miss Lawson?" Chakwas questioned inquisitively as she entered the Medical bay. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine." The ex-operative answered calmly, as if nothing had happened.

The Normandy's XO looked at the table on her left hoping her catsuit would be nearby, she wanted to get back to work. She wanted to rid the entire ship of Cerberus's bugs, give Shepard a status update of the ship and their supplies, and lastly get a good night's rest.

Miranda scanned the room until she saw her catsuit neatly folded up on Karin's desk.

"Can you give me my clothes? I need to tie up a few lose ends in my office." Lawson's question sounded more like a statement. "I have very important tasks that I need to get done."

Karin stared at the Miranda before she released a sigh. "I suppose that you do have many important things that you must do, you are the XO of the Normandy after all." The Doctor walked over to her desk and grabbed the catsuit off of the table top. "I'll give you back your clothes on one condition... you promise that you will get lots of rest immediately after you finish your work."

"We just survived a suicide mission; I intend to get some rest." Miranda dead panned.

Chakwas looked down at the clothes in her hands. "Before you go, can I ask you to do something?"

Lawson raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner "What is it?"

"Don't break his heart."

"What are you talking about?" Miranda asked in an innocent manner.

The Doctor laughed lightly. "Don't play dumb with me." Karin's voice was soft yet it held a scolding tone. "I see the way you two look at each other."

Miranda's face held a ghost of a smile for a brief second.

"The way the commander looks at you," Karin's soft voice stopped mid sentence and she stared off in to nothingness, a light smile etched itself upon her face as she reveled in the memories of the past. "Shepard has never looked at someone like that before, not even Ashley Williams."

Miranda looked down at her legs, unsure of what to say or do. The whole conversation made her feel awkward, except for the last part. Knowing that Shepard looked at her in such away made her feel giddy and nervous at the same time.

Chakwas placed Lawson's cloths into her lap, Miranda's catsuit was clean but there was still a noticeable hole in the thigh.

"Thank you." Miranda said as she looked up from her lap. The doctor nodded into return.

"When I first met you I would have scolded Shepard for falling prey to your looks." Karin admitted shamelessly.

"But now, I'm happy for him." The Chakwas continued with a light smile, she started walking towards the medical bay doors.

"What changed?" Lawson inquired.

The doctor looked over her shoulder before she left the room. "You did." With those final words Karin walked through the doors, leaving Miranda alone in the silent medical bay.

Lawson gingerly swung her legs over the side of the bed, she slowly lower her feet on to the ground.

Miranda looked back on the last few months.

"Have I really changed that much?" she thought silently to herself.

She looked down at her bandaged leg, silently hoping that it wouldn't scar.

Lawson cautiously started to dress herself, taking extra care of her injured leg.

Miranda tried to look back on who she was before the mission with Shepard, but it was all so obscurer to her. She used to see everything action she took as grey, however the ends always justified the means. It was an idea she used to stand firmly behind, it's what helped her do some of the darker things. She knew that some of her actions weren't right. But the end goal was good, and in the end it would always justify what she did to achieve it. But now... she wasn't so sure. Like an abstract painting, the more she looked at her life the more things became blurred and inexplicable.

Before Miranda met Shepard she would have undoubtedly shot Niket, but she didn't. She spared the traitor and let him redeem himself, allowing her to forgive him in some small measure.

After Miranda saw the fire that commander Sheppard had, she wanted to obtain her own flame. Her own ability to make someone gladly follow her into the uncharted bowels of hell.

The ex-operative became obsessed with trying to obtain her own flame. It was the one thing that she could never excel at like he did. She could hit any target that Shepard could; she could run any distance he could. But she would never be able to lead an entire squad through a suicide mission, escaping with their lives.

The ex-Cerberus officer began studying the commander after he helped her get Orinna to safety. It was then, that she realized that he could make almost anyone follow him. There was so much diversity amongst his squad, so many different walks of life and all of them were dedicated to his cause. Like moths to a flame the entire squad was drawn to him, Jack and Miranda herself inevitably obeyed the Commander's wishes.

Lawson slid her arms into the sleeves of her catsuit. The bottom half of her catsuit was awkward and restrictive. She looked towards her office, she couldn't wait to finish her work and take a shower.

She sighed in annoyance "I still need to get that dent in the wall fixed." Lawson muttered as she thought back to her argument with Jack.

The incident was still fresh in Miranda's mind, she could remember the anger she felt as that degenerate assaulted her, and the subsequent relief she felt when Shepard got that animal out of her office. She also felt a sense of success at the same time, after weeks of her constant surveillance she finally found out the Commander's secrete to gaining any one's loyalty.

Lawson had read the all of the hand books that Shepard would have had access to in the alliance, and she found nothing that represented what Shepard did. However, after he defused the situation between her and Jack it all became so clear.

He didn't use simple mutual respect like most of the alliance hand books recommended. Shepard treated his crew fairly and helped them in any way he could, yet there was a small sensation of authority, that exceeded the feeling that came along rank and status.

When Shepard scolded Jack and Miranda it became clearer to Lawson as to what his fire was. Shepard cared about everyone he served with, no matter what rank or position you had, he would always find the time to help everyone. It was the way that Shepard raised his voice at herself and Jack, that allowed Lawson it finally connect all of the puzzle pieces together.

He treated his squad mates (and the pilot, for reasons that were unintelligible to Miranda) as friends, equals. Miranda had friends before Shepard but they were never as strong as her relationship with the commander, although he didn't have lots of competition, Niket betrayed her and Jacob rarely even spoke to her any more.

When Shepard was disappointed with a squad mate he spoke to them as equals. Miranda contributed this to the fact that Shepard had no real command over any of them. Jacob and Miranda used to report directly to the Illusive man, not Shepard. If the Illusive man told them to shoot the commander they would've had to obey, regardless of what Shepard said or did.

Lawson always thought that he was using the charade of friendship to gain and spread trust amongst the squad. The Normandy's XO had to admit that it worked; even if it wasn't Shepard's intended purpose. Miranda had come to trust Garrus, Mordin, Thane, Samara, and in some small way even Grunt (although, she would never trust him with anything fragile, small, or living for that matter).

Once Miranda and Jack angered the commander to the point of yelling, The XO realized something. There was disappointment in the commander's voice, the same type of disappointment that varnished Miranda's own words when she spoke to Niket.

It was not a disappointment of a commander, but of a friend. The relationships he built with the squad were real. It was with this realization, the answer to Shepard's success as a commander was conceived.

Shepard had always treated the crew of the Normandy as more than simple subordinates, but at the same time he was not friends with them. Lawson had originally thought that Shepard deliberately spent more time with the squad so he could build trust, and a stronger relationship with them.

It made sense, there was only so much time before they would have to enviably jump feet first into hell, so it made sense that he would spend it with the people he had to rely on the most.

Miranda however realized how wrong she was, when she herself had been scolded by the commander. In that moment she realised that Shepard talked to his subordinates with the same tone of amity he used with the squad. Yet it was different, the crew still treated him with the authority that came with his title.

He treated the subordinates not as siblings or friends; he treated them as though they were his own children. It became clearer as Miranda reflected upon the past few months that Shepard was fallowing an altered version of Sun Tzu's The Art of War.

The only difference in the way that Shepard and Sun Tzu commanded was the small fact that Shepard was friends with his squad members; he didn't treat them like his own children like the book recommended.

This was surprising because Shepard was at the top of his class yet Sun Tzu's The Art of War was widely disliked by the Alliance. Many of the admirals stated that it required a great deal of emotional connection, and thus it could stop the commanding officer from making the hard decisions.

"I guess Shepard proved them wrong." Miranda thought to herself as she zipped up her catsuit and left the medical bay.

The cafeteria was completely empty when Miranda exited the medical bay.

"Everyone must have gone to bed already." She thought out loud.

"You would think so," Garrus's voice echoed in the empty room as he walked into the cafeteria. "But one of the crew men found a lot of alcohol in the one of the supply crates; needless to say they decided to throw a victory party."

Lawson walked over to a nearby table and leaned her butt against the edge for support. "As long as they don't damage anything, I couldn't care less about how they spend their free time."

Garrus chuckled lightly. "Some of them thought that you would rip their heads off."

"That's ridiculous," Miranda spoke dryly. "I don't have nearly enough time or energy for that nonsense."

Garrus's mandibles twitched into a Turian smile. "Did you just make a joke?"

"No," Miranda dead panned "I seriously considered the idea of murdering half of the crew, the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I have work to do."

The Turian shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't know you were capable of making jokes."

Miranda smirked lightly. "And I didn't know that you were capable of dodging rockets, considering the way we met. I'm glad you proved me wrong today."

Garrus chuckled "Wow, you're better at this than Shepard is."

The two looked at each other for a few moments.

"I'm glad," Garrus spoke hesitantly. "That you're one of us."

Miranda nodded at the Turian, unsure of how she should respond.

"Well, I have some calibrations that need to be done." Garrus said with a cheery tone.

"I have work that needs to be done as well."

The two nodded at each other and parted ways.

Miranda released a sigh of relief as she entered her office; she had a few more things to do before this hellish day ended.

"EDI," Lawson called out as she walked towards her chair. "I need you to target all of Cerberus's bugs and overload them."

"Miss Lawson, I have already completed that action."

Miranda sat down at her terminal and opened her messages. There were reports from EDI and Tali.

"On whose orders?" The XO questioned as she read through the reports on her terminal.

"Commander Shepard's, the commander inquired if there was any way that Cerberus could track the Normandy." EDI's robotic voice echoed thought Miranda's office. "I told the commander about the Cerberus's cameras and spyware, he ordered for their immediate destruction."

"Thank you EDI that will be all." Lawson replied

"Logging you out Miss Lawson."

Miranda continued to read the reports.

Tali's report was short and to the point. The Quarian managed to get the engine working at seventy percent capacity; Tali recommended that they find somewhere to dock so further repairs could be done.

EDI's report was much longer and supplied a lot of details about every deck and the damages that they sustained. The captain's cabin was running off of emergency lighting due to electrical problems, there was damage to the haul, and the cargo bay was a complete disaster, in short the ship was a mess.

Miranda transferred the reports onto an empty data pad.

Normally Lawson would read over the reports and deal with the problems herself, but with the delicate situation they were in Miranda decided that she needed to talk with Shepard. At least that's what she told herself.

The Normandy's XO had alternative motives for wanting to see the commander.

If the ex-Cerberus officer was to honest with herself, she simply wanted to see him and hear his deep seductive voice.

Most of all she wanted him to touch her, not sexually but affectionately. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

She wanted to feel the warmth of his chest and arms upon her skin as she slowly drifted off into the land of dreams, where Cerberus, the reapers, her father and all of the other problems in the galaxy didn't exist. A land where there was only her and Shepard, casually meeting at a club or some other place where normal couples met, but Miranda was the definition of anomalous.

Besides, dreams were for children and Miranda was a strong and independent woman, thus she would never admit this to any one, not even herself.

Lawson got out of her chair and grabbed a small duffle bag that contained her showering items and a change of clothes. She unzipped the bag and tossed the locked data pad into the bag before she zipped the bag back up.

Miranda exited her office and headed towards the showers. She felt filthy. The smell of the collector base seemed like it permanently tainted her body, it made her sick.

Despite her pain, The Normandy's XO managed to walk gracefully towards the women's washrooms. she waved her hand in front of the door's sensor, the door slid open and Miranda was greeted to laughter and singing. Curious to the commotion she decided to peek around the corner.

In one of the showers there was three women, all of them were obviously drunk as they sang some song that Miranda had never heard of and kissed each other, this was followed by fits of drunken laughter.

Normandy' XO slowly backed out of the room, careful not to disturb the drunken women.

The XO part of Miranda wanted to reprimand the women for fraternization, but deep down she knew it would be hypocritical to punish the women, considering what she did in the engine room.

There was also the fact that fraternization didn't even matter anymore. The Normandy wasn't an enlisted military ship anymore.

The door slid shut behind Miranda as she headed towards the elevator. There had to be a change in her plans. She didn't want to disrupt what was going on in the shower; she couldn't judge them, she did the same thing with Shepard. Lawson decided that she could shower after she briefed and formulated a plan with Shepard.

Miranda waved her hand in front of the elevator, the orange circle turned green as the doors slid open.

She hesitated before she entered the elevator.

"What are you going to do if he rejects you?" The cynical and untrusting side of the ex-operative questioned. "You were probably just a play thing to him. What about his girlfriend, did you just forget that she existed?"

Miranda breathed out slowly as she pressed the button for Shepard's cabin; she still had a job to do.

As the elevator rose time seemed to slow down.

The elevator ride to Shepard's cabin felt excruciatingly long.

The door's light turned green and the door slid open.

The emergency lighting was very dim causing the deck to be filled with dark shadows. The darkness felt comforting to the XO, under the veil of darkness was where she normally hid from her enemies.

She step out of the elevator and went towards Shepard's door.

"EDI," Miranda called out. "Is the commander awake?"

"The commander's vital signs show that he is awake, would you like me to tell him that you are waiting outside." EDI responded.

"Yes, that will be all. Thank you." The XO spoke graciously.

"Logging you out, Miss Lawson."

Miranda waited patiently for the door to Shepard's cabin to open, but as time passed she grew more anxious, she hated herself for it.

She started to think that EDI never sent the message until the door slid open.

Shepard's shadow shrouded figure stood in the doorway.

Through the dime light Miranda could make out that Shepard was wearing grey sweat pants and loosely holding a shirt in his left hand. Sadly- for Miranda- she was unable to make out his facial feature or the details of the commander's muscular body.

"Sorry," Shepard said as he stared putting on his shirt. "I was about to hit the showers when EDI said you wanted to see me."

Miranda wanted to make a coquettish response like "Don't bother with the shirt; you're not going to need it for very long." But she was still unsure of what they were to each other, so she simply replied. "It's alright. I wanted to brief you on the ship's status; we should also plan out what we're doing next."

"Sounds good, come inside." Shepard said as he gestured towards the couch.

Miranda started walking inside until Shepard stopped her by pressing a hand into her stomach.

Lawson felt a flare of anxiety and affection wash over her as the commander's hand touched her. It was harder than normal for the ex-operative to control her feelings, before she would console herself with the fact that she was going to die in a suicide mission, so it didn't matter if Shepard was lying about how he felt. But... she didn't die, and now she was dealing with the anxiety and doubt that had been building over the past few months.

"Is your leg alright?" Sincere feelings of care and concern laced Shepard's voice, as he stared into Miranda's light blue eyes.

Miranda almost blushed from Shepard's words. She could hear the genuine emotions that freely entered his voice, it made her feel blissful.

Lawson cared about Shepard more than she ever cared about any one in her life, and it scared her. Miranda could read any man expect for him, he was an abnormality. It frightened her because of how deeply she cared for the commander, yet she was never certain on how he felt or what he was thinking. Normally this type of uncertainty would stop her from proceeding foreword, but with him it was different.

She emotionally invested herself into another person when it logically didn't make any sense, they knew more about the collectors than anyone else, and she was willing to risk it for lo- for whatever it was that they had.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking." Miranda answered courteously as she lightly pushed the commander's arm away, heading once again towards for the couch.

Shepard watched the sway of Miranda's hips as he followed her. Everything about her was beautiful to him, form her long leg to her snarky attitude. She was magnificent and fascinating but above all else she was intoxicating. The closer he got to her the drunker and more addicted he felt, he was a junkie and she was his drug.

His emotions towards Lawson were foreign to the Alliance solider; it was a mixture of lust and care that exceeded anything he had ever felt for any one.

Miranda sat down gingerly on the couch and got the data pad out of her bag, Shepard quietly sat down beside her.

He studied her face as he sat in silence. He could see uncertainly and anxiety in her alluring visage.

"Tali's," Miranda started as she unlocked the data pad and opened Tali's repot. "Report says that we need to dry dock in order to finish the repairs on the engine."

Miranda handed the data pad over to Shepard.

"We could dock at Omega, I'm sure that I could convince Aria to help us." Shepard responded as he skimmed the report.

Lawson cringed at the thought of docking at Omega, that city was a putrid pile of filth.

"I have contacts in Illium that could provide the same services."

"Would the ship be safe there?" Shepard asked.

"My contact has legal documents that prevent any law enforcement from investigating her dock."

"Really?" Shepard asked, bewildered that a couple of papers could stop the police.

"Illium is corrupt too Shepard, It not obvious because Ilium's corruption hides within the laws." Miranda replied.

"What about Cerberus, do they know about this contact?" Shepard asked as he weighed his options.

"I never told Cerberus about my contacts." Lawson replied. "Secrecy is essential to how Cerberus operates. It was safer for everyone involved that they knew as little as possible about my contacts." The ex-operative explained.

Shepard looked up from the data pad. "Would it be safe for the crew too have some shore leave while we are their?"

"They would be less likely to catch a disease." Miranda said with a hint of disgust in her voice "However I wouldn't recommend long term departure."

"Sounds promising, you should get in touch with your contact. Is there anything else?" The commander asked.

Miranda grabbed the data pad from Shepard and opened EDI's report. "EDI's made a list of repairs," Lawson stated as she handed the data pad back to Shepard. "Many of them can't be done until we dock."

Shepard quickly read through the report. "EDI gave me the just of this while you were in the medical bay. I think the crew will be able to finish the repairs over the next three days."

Miranda looked at Shepard with a puzzled face. "They could easily get the work done in a day."

"I wouldn't say that, many of them will be hung over tomorrow and I want to give them breather over the next few days." Shepard explained.

The Normandy's XO nodded. "That sounds like a fair point."

Shepard handed Miranda the data pad.

"So what's with the bag?" Shepard asked in a seemingly confused and curious manner, however the truth was far from that.

Deep down the commander wanted her to make one of her quick witted remarks like: "We already slept together once, might as well make it permanent arrangement."

She could've made an aloof statement about her room being too cold, and she needed someone's body heat to stay warm. Shepard didn't care how it happened; all he wanted was to be closer to her.

He wanted to smell her hair as her back pushed against his torso, he wanted to hear her sexy Australian accent that made his head spin with lust. He wanted to be with her in the most intimate ways possible, physically and emotionally.

Miranda raised an eye brow. "Does that really concern you?" She asked in faux annoyance.

"Well considering it's my cabin, I would think so." Shepard countered in a charming voice.

Miranda couldn't stand the cocky tone of his voice; it made her want him even more. She could feel lust building up inside of her. She wanted to touch and kiss his skin, but she suppressed it as best as she could.

Lawson let out an exaggerated sigh. "Well if you must know commander, I was planning on having a shower. That is until I found three of your drunken subordinates having sex in the shower."

"Your subordinates?" Shepard repeated in a perplexed tone. "If I remember correctly you are the XO of the Normandy, so doesn't that make them your subordinates as well?" Shepard proposed.

"Have you already forgotten, commander?" Miranda asked innocently "I resigned from Cerberus, currently I'm unemployed." Her voice was playful and painfully alluring to the commander, he felt like he was going to lose control of himself very time her lips moved.

"Is that so?" Shepard asked as he got up from the couch and moved towards the fish tank.

Miranda got out of the couch and followed the commander.

Lawson found it hard not to stare at Shepard's body as he walked. She was awestruck by her commander; he was strong, kind and extremely sexy.

The ex-Cerberus officer never believed in the myths and propaganda that surrounded the great commander Shepard, but as time passed and her emotion for him swelled, the more she understood him.

He was defiantly the hero that everyone made him out to be, but she saw something that not many people did. She saw the human inside of the great hero; she witnessed his anger, his hatred, his stress, and most importantly his affection.

Miranda tried to clear her head of lustful thoughts but they were too persistent.

"Yes," Lawson said as she stood beside Shepard and watched the jelly fish swim around. "The only reason I decided to help you form a plan is that I don't want to die during my first week of retirement."

Shepard chuckled lightly. "Well the Normandy needs an XO, and you are by far the best XO I have ever had."

"Are you offering me a job commander?" Miranda asked coyly.

"Yes I 'am Miss Lawson. So what do you say, will you be the Normandy's new XO?" Shepard played along.

The jelly fish swam in small circles as the commander looked over at Miranda.

"I don't know Shepard," Lawson said reluctantly as she turned toward Shepard. "XO is a big position, I won't work for free."

"Well I can't offer you any money," The commander spoke in faux disappointment. "But I can offer you the rights to use my private rest room."

Lawson sashayed over towards the couch and sat down; she smiled to herself as she heard Shepard following her. "Hot water is nice, but it's not enough."

"Well," Shepard stood in front of Miranda. "I could always offer you my... personal attention." The commander slowly removed his shirt, exposing his taut and lean muscles.

Miranda unconsciously licked her lips out of lustful hunger.

"I think we can agree- bloody hell." Lawson shot out of her seat and managed to make it to Shepard in only a few quick strides. Miranda began to lightly caress Shepard's lower ribs on his left side.

"What?" Shepard asked as he saw Miranda's worried face.

"Your ribs!" Miranda spoke loudly as she continued to gingerly touch the darkened skin with her hands.

"What about my ribs?" Shepard was still clueless as to what she was upset about.

"Your ribs are purple, Shepard!" Miranda nearly shouted, dumbfounded by Shepard's confusion. "Did you get Chakwas to look at them?"

Shepard placed his right hand on Miranda's hip. "I know what broken ribs feel like Miranda, I'm fine." His voice was soft and assuring.

Her hands slowly drifted upwards towards his shoulders as her eyes finally met his. "Shepard it looks really bad." Miranda spoke softly as she looked into his dark blue eyes.

"I'm fine, I promise." Shepard tried to reassure the beautiful woman before him.

Lawson sighed. "At the very least, let me examine them."

Shepard smiled lightly. "Concerned Miss Lawson?"

The ex-operative had a subtle frown etched upon her face. She was concerned, and it drove her mad.

How could she let herself care so much about another person? A romantic relationship could endanger herself and Oriana.

She didn't even know if Shepard actually liked her for more than just her body, he could easily be using her as a temporary fuck toy that could be discarded once he was reunited with Ashley Williams.

Yet despite all of the uncertainty, she could not stop herself from wanting to be closer to him.

"I'm just cautious, something you seem incapable of." Lawson countered in a snarky tone.

Shepard chuckled. "It's just a bruise."

"Bruising is a sign of broken ribs or a collapsed lung."Miranda argued in a vexed voice.

The commander sighed. "Alright, you win. Go ahead and examine my ribs."

Miranda's removed her hands from his shoulder and started her examination.

She lightly pressed her fingers against his skin; she carefully counted and checked if his ribs were in their proper positions.

Lawson then placed her hands on his sides and gently applied pressure.

Shepard smirked at Miranda as she pressed her hands against him. "Try not to get to excited."

Miranda chuckled silently to herself before see looked into Shepard's eyes.

"When you're done being a cheeky ass, we can continue." Miranda jested playfully.

"Ok," Shepard said with a chuckle. "I'm done."

Lawson removed her hands from Shepard's sides "Are you having any trouble breathing." She asked as she looked down at her Omni-tool and activated the medical scanner.

"No." Shepard responded confidently.

Miranda started to wave her Omni-tool over Shepard's ribs.

Shepard silently revelled in Miranda's closeness and beauty. He was obsessed with her, the clear and pure whites of her eyes, her intoxicating smell, her snarky attitude, her seductive voice, and her incredible intelligence, everything that made her the woman that captivated his thoughts. He was completely enthralled by her, and it scared the shit out of him.

Lawson's omni-tool beeped, signaling that the scan was complete. Miranda silently looked at the results before she looked up at Shepard's face.

"Your ribs are fine," Miranda said reassuringly. "However, you should still get some rest."

With every word Miranda spoke, Shepard's desire to kiss her grew stronger.

Shepard's left hand reached out and gently caressed Miranda's hip, pulling her closer to him. "I should be telling you the same thing."

Miranda placed her left hand on to Shepard's chest. She looked down at the commander's chest, unable to look him in the eyes.

Being so close to him made her feel crazy and she knew she couldn't control it.

Shepard's hand left her hip and stroked her chin gingerly, coaxing her into look back at his face.

"You are so beautiful."

Shepard wasn't even sure if he had actually said the words, until he saw the blush dance across her face.

Miranda tried to control herself as she felt her cheeks burn. Many men and women had called her beautiful before, but with Shepard it was different. Normally such a compliment felt empty, like they weren't complimenting her, instead they were praising her father and his work.

She felt like her body wasn't even her own, it was simply her father's greatest achievement. Everything about her was her father's science project, her looks, her intelligence, and even her personality was all part of her father's experiment. The only thing that was hers, was her mistakes, she was given everything she needed to complete any goal or assignment, so if she failed it was that small part of her, that small screw up in her father's work that failed, that small screw up was what she was.

Shepard made her feel differently. He helped her see who and what she truly was. Yes, her father had made her, this much was true. But she was her own person, her body, her intellect, her personality, all of her faults and all of her successes; it was all hers, not her father's twisted experiment. She finally felt whole, and it was exhilarating.

Thus, when his kind and gentle words had kissed her ears, it had felt like the first compliment she had ever received.

Miranda tried to speak but she lost her ability to form rational thoughts. All she could do was bring her face closer to Shepard's.

The moment that Miranda's eyes looked into Shepard's was the moment that he lost himself. His heart felt like it had stopped for a split second before it started up again, pounding stronger than ever before.

Shepard leaned forward and Miranda brought her face closer to his. Time felt like an obsolete concept as their lips finally connected. Their kiss was passionate and intense, withdrawing feelings of bliss that neither Shepard nor Miranda had ever felt with anyone before.

Miranda's heart started to quicken, she felt weightless as her and Shepard's tongues untied to perform a dance of passion.

The kiss became intoxicating, making both of them feel drunk on lust.

They broke for air and their eyes locked onto each other. As she looked into his eyes, she felt a foreign feeling wash over her. She felt safe, warm, and cared for while she was in his arms. She also felt attached to him, like she needed to touch him in order to breathe.

The ex-operative suddenly regained control of her mind. She quickly removed herself from Shepard's grasp and moved towards the fish tank, distancing herself from the commander.

Shepard didn't follow her. He understood her hesitations, and he didn't want to pressure her into... whatever this was.

"What is this Shepard?" Miranda questioned, her voice was filled with frustration as her back faced him.

"What do you mean?" Shepard asked hesitantly. He knew what she meant, but he didn't have an answer for her.

Lawson turned towards Shepard "What's our relationship, what am I too you?" her frustrated voice stared to show signs of her true anxiety.

Shepard sighed. "Honestly, I don't know." He admitted. "It all happened so fast that I'm not really sure what our relationship is." Shepard started to walk towards to Miranda. "But what I do know, is that I meant everything I have ever said to you." Miranda turned away from him to watch the jellyfish swim.

"I care about you Miranda, and I want to make this work," Shepard was now standing right behind the beautiful woman. "And I think you do too."

Miranda smiled lightly to herself. "We're crazy."

Shepard warped his arms around Miranda, hugging her from behind. "Oh, we're defiantly crazy."

Miranda leaned back into Shepard's embrace. "You do know that this is a horrible idea," Miranda's voice was gloomy. "The alliance considers me a terrorist and you a traitor."

Shepard kissed the side of Miranda's neck causing her to purr quietly. "I came back from the dead, and then I lead a whole team through a suicide mission without a single casualty. I couldn't care less about what the alliance thinks or does."

Miranda spun around in Shepard's grasp so she could see his face. "Don't get too cocky." She warned in a seductive tone. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm the one that put you back together, remember?" Miranda's ran her hands over Shepard's muscular body. "And I do damn good work."

Shepard smiled. "You certainly do."

They kissed each other with more passion, lust, and roughness than ever before.

Shepard broke their kissed and looked into her beautiful eyes. "I won't give up on this; I care about you too much to let that happen."

Miranda cupped the commander's cheek. "Good, because I'm not either." She kissed his cheek quickly before she left his grasp and sashayed towards the coffee table. "I accept your job offer." Miranda said innocently as she grabbed her bag.

Shepard chuckled lightly. "I'm glad you decided to join the team."

Miranda smiled flirtatiously and she walked back over to the commander. "I haven't done any work as the new XO yet, but I'm going to need to use both of my benefits."

Shepard looked at her with a cocked eyebrow. "Why would you need to do that?" Shepard feigned ignorance of her flirting.

Miranda caressed Shepard's chest with her free hand. "The showers on deck three are being used." Lawson moved her hand down his chest and on to his abdomen. She bit her bottom lip seductively as she caressed his muscles. "And I need you to help me shower, my injury is becoming really painful and I need your assistance."

"That's sounds very reasonable." The commander said with a nod.

"Good." Miranda replied as she grabbed Shepard's hand and led him to the Shower.

Steam filled the room as warm water showered upon the couple. The water rinsed the filth away from their skin but not their minds.

Shepard's arms embraced Miranda from behind, his hands glided upon her skin, exploring every curve and crevice.

Lawson moaned as the commander's hands roamed her porcelain skin. Her right hand gently held the back of Shepard's head as he nipped and kissed her soft skin. She rubbed her round ass against his wet body, the commander groaned hungrily in response.

She turned around in his grasp and kissed his lips, their tongues swirled around each other. Lawson couldn't stop herself from moaning into the kiss once Shepard squeezed her ass. She felt horny and ravenous for his touch.

Miranda's hand slide down Shepard's torso and wrapped itself loosely around his shaft, pumping it with her slippery hand.

"I need you." Miranda's voice was husked with need.

Shepard could see the lust in her eyes, and hear the desire in her voice. He needed it take her now, his erection was unbearably hard.

Without another word the commander turned the shower off and placed his hands on the back of Miranda's thighs.

Wordlessly, Miranda wrapped her legs around Shepard's waist as his hands supported her weight.

Their lips met together in a possessive and intoxicating kiss, as he carried her lithe body to his bed.

Miranda's lips started to sting lightly as they began to swell, but she was too aroused to care. She needed him inside of her

Shepard gently placed her onto his bed. He was breathless at the sight of her naked and wet body. She was sexy in every way possible. Her scent, her looks, her touch, everything about her was intoxicating to him. He needed her.

Miranda slid backwards, tempting Shepard to follow her onto the bed.

Their lips meet once again in a kiss that was fuelled by and animalistic hunger for one another.

Shepard broke the kiss off early, making Miranda whimper from the loss of his lips.

He smirked devilishly at the effect he had on her. He slid his right hand up her leg and towards her ample breast. He fondled her as he kissed his way down her neck, stopping only to gently bite at her skin.

Miranda's thoughts became increasingly libidinous as Shepard's lips moved down her throat and onto her collar bone.

He slowed his pace down as he kissed his way towards her nipple.

She felt her body tense up as he got closer and closer towards the left peak of her bosom.

Shepard grinned to himself as her avoided her sensitive area, making a circle of kisses around it.

"You teasing bastard." Miranda muttered as she stifled a moan.

Shepard could feel the tension in Miranda body and the lust in her voice; he had her right where he wanted her. He let his hot breath kiss her sensitive skin, she quivered with anticipation.

"You are so sexy." Shepard mumbled to the woman beneath him.

Lawson held Shepard's face to her breast. She was losing control of herself, and she was enjoying every moment of it.

He grazed her nipple with his teeth.

Lawson cried out as she arched her back, almost blinded by pleasure.

Shepard went back to slowly kissing his down Miranda's breast, until he finally reached her abdomen. The lust that was building up in Miranda caused her to push down on Shepard's head, encouraging him to pick up the pace.

"I need you... please." She mumbled in between her heavy breaths.

He ignored her and continued at his slow pace, torturing her with unbearable pleasure. He loved seeing her this way, under the influence of her animalistic desires.

Shepard slowly kissed his way down Miranda's hips, teasing her with every kiss, as he inched his way to towards her vulva. "P-please I... I can't," Miranda voice was breathless "H-handle any... more teasing." Her voice was the very embodiment of lust

When her hands once again found their way to Shepard's head, he did not resist there gentle pushes. His hands caressed her inner thighs as he carefully spread her legs apart.

Miranda trembled lightly as Shepard's warm breath kissed her vagina.

His tongue penetrated her, ripping a moan from her as she arched her back in pleasure. He started off slowly, punishing her with waves of pleasure that made her body convulsions.

Miranda's hands raked their way through Shepard's hair as she moaned loudly.

"Fuck," Miranda cursed loudly "You... are great a-at this." Her voice was a messy stutter filled with moans and deep breaths.

Shepard smiled roguishly as Miranda's tried to calm her body down. He ran his tongue up and down her slit until he found her clitoris.

"A little hi-." Miranda's words were lost in a scream as fiery ripples of pleasure were sent through her body. She arched her back again as her body jerked. Her hands clenched the sheets, turning her knuckles white. Shepard held her hips down so he could continue licking and sucking on her clit.

Lawson closed her eyes as she felt the euphoria of her orgasm. He greedily lapped up her juices as she grinded herself against his face.

Miranda cupped Shepard's cheeks with her shaky hands. She rested her back on the headboard as she pulled Shepard's face closer to her own.

She kissed him slowly, tasting herself as theirs tongues danced together.

She gently bit his bottom lip as they broke their kiss.

Miranda ran her hands up and down Shepard's chest; her eyes slowly examined his body. "We have to be gentle." She said softly as she looked lovingly into his eyes. "We're still injured."

Shepard smiled at her "I'll try my best."

Lawson quickly flipped him on to his back and straddled him.

"You did enough already." Miranda said as she placed her hands onto his chest. "It's my turn to pleasure you."

Miranda slid off of Shepard and sat in between his legs.

The commander crawled back towards the headboard and rested his back against it.

She followed him, keeping her legs between his own and her arms on either side of his torso. They leaned forward and pressed their lips together once again, basking in each other's scent.

Miranda moved her lips on to his cheek and then down his neck, Shepard could feel his muscles tighten as she reached his chest.

She stopped her actions and looked up at his lust filled eyes. "Pay back's a bitch." She flirted with a wink before continuing her actions.

Shepard groaned as her teeth lightly nipped his skin. His hands found their way to Miranda's toned and smooth thighs. His hands glided over the exposed skin, carefully avoiding her bandage.

She moaned lightly as his hands caressed and squeezed her ass.

"Move... your legs... to the left." Shepard said between grunts.

She moved her legs over to his left side, giving him better accesses to her sensitive areas.

Miranda's lips finally meet with the end of Shepard's abdomen. She stopped and gazed up at his eyes, slowly licking her lips. Her left hand slowly slid up his right thigh, her soft lips crashed against his. She wrapped her hand around his cock once again, as Shepard slid his fingers inside of her.

They moaned passionately into the kiss as they pleasured each other.

Miranda broke the kiss and moved her lips onto his neck and then quickly onto his chest, her hand stilled wrapped firmly around his shaft. She reached the bottom of his abdomen in only four short kisses.

Lawson salacious eyes meet Shepard's, as her hot breath and mouth linger over his pulsating erection. Shepard groaned out of desire as he pulsated in her hands.

Miranda could feel his muscles tighten with every breath she took and every motion she made. The combination of Shepard fingering her and the smell that he gave off drove her mad with lust.

She slowly licked her lips as her eyes remained locked onto Shepard's. Miranda slowly pressed her lips on the bottom of his shaft. She slowly moved her lips upwards, kissing, licking and sucking on his shaft as she slowly moved towards his head.

Shepard slid his fingers out of Miranda and started massaging her clitoris, she moaned against him, sending vibrations throughout his body. Shepard felt like his brain was being electrified by his ever growing concupiscence.

Lawson pulled Shepard's foreskin back, exposing his head. Her tongue swirled slowly around his head. He could feel his muscles tighten as he growled with pleasure.

Once Miranda had soaked his cock in her saliva, she ran her lips up and down the underside of his shaft three times. On the third time up she quickly swirled her tongue around his head before she started to suck on it.

Shepard groaned as her mouth moved further and further down his shaft. His sounds of ecstasy made her painfully horny.

Miranda rarely engaged in oral sex with men, her missions required her to be in control, get what she needed, and leave as fast as possible with the least amount of social interaction as possible.

Even with her one night stands she found that she rarely performed oral sex. Most of her one night stands didn't pleasure her in such a way, so she never felt an obligation to. Oral sex also felt strangely intimate to her, like it was something more than just sex.

Shepard's breath became ragged as Miranda continued too pleasures him.

He squeezed and spanked her ass causing her to moan with lust, his hand gently massaged the red area before sliding down her leg, and back up the inside of her thigh.

She loved it when he was rough and forceful with her, his small displays of dominance made her feel like he needed her.

There was also a feeling of respect that came with his rougher actions. Miranda was relieved that Shepard wasn't afraid to be rough with her, small amount of sensual pain was one of her secret pleasure that no one had figured out... until now.

Lawson's moans grew louder as Shepard's fingers found her sensitive clit.

Her swollen lips slide back up his shaft. Her tongue swirled around his head once more, pushing him over the edge with lust.

Shepard wrapped his right hand around Miranda's throat and pulled her face into his own. Their lips locked into an intense kiss, driven by frenzied lust. They moaned into the kiss, mixing their voices together to form a symphony of libido.

Miranda straddled Shepard as their kiss deepened. She wanted to be closer to him, to feel her chest pressed up against her own.

Shepard caressed Lawson's butt as she slowly grinded her hips against his own.

They broke for air and stare deeply into each other's eyes as they shared the same breath.

"Are you okay?" Shepard's voice was almost a whisper due to their vigorous expression of passion.

"No," Miranda's breathless voice replied. "I need your cock inside of me."

Shepard smiled lightly. "You are so fucking sexy."

Their lips reunited briefly as Miranda guided Shepard's cock inside of her. Their lips broke contact as Miranda slowly lowered herself onto Shepard. She let out a deep breath as he penetrated her.

They had sex slowly and passionately, the act of sex became something different with their slow pace.

It became less about their lust for each other and more about something stronger, something that gave sex a different feeling.

Their tongues dance together.

The air was still thick with lust but they didn't want to devour each other, instead they hunger for closeness on the most intimate level. Their focus was on the other person, their pleasure and desire became even more important than their own.

Their thighs burned and their pace gained in speed as they came closer to the blissful end.

Miranda held onto Shepard's shoulders for support as he trusted into her, meeting her hips as she grinded herself against him.

A thin layer of sweat glistened off their bodies as they edged closer and closer to the end. They broke for air and starred into each other's eyes.

Deep breaths turned into moans as they climaxed together. Their eyes stayed locked as Miranda continued to ride Shepard, moaning as her orgasm shook her body.

Shepard continued to thrust into her as his orgasm reached its end. Their lips locked as Miranda continued to ride him, pushing her into another climax.

Miranda broke the kiss as she cried out with raw and intense pleasure. Her whole body shook as she collapsed onto Shepard's chest, moaning the name "John" softly into his chest. Her head nestled into his neck as her orgasm pulsated throughout her body. Her hands pawed at his chest as her breathing slowed.

Miranda lightly kissed Shepard's neck, her teeth grazed his skin. Her lips moved up his jaw line and towards his ear. "You," she whispered softly into his ear. "Are fucking amazing."

"We," Shepard corrected in a playful voice. "Are fucking amazing." Their lips locked shortly after his words.

Miranda felt safe in his arms, she could let her guard down and simply live her life. In his arms she didn't feel the need to watch her back constantly because she trusted Shepard to protector her.

Part of her hated this feeling, it was naive and hazardous. Yet, a larger portion of her was hopelessly captivated by this feeling.

While wrapped in his arms, all of the galaxy's glaring problems seemed to dissipate, blending into the blackness of space, becoming an overlooked detail in the background.

His hands lightly caressed her hips as his lips assaulted hers, she felt a strong and seemingly foreign emotion that was so vacant in her life before that only now... in his arms... it shone brightly like a quasar.

She felt something like it before with Oriana, but with Shepard it was different. It felt stronger, containing more euphoric emotions and a sense of safety that surpassed anything she had ever felt before. Every touch she shared with Shepard made her feel happy, comfortable, and wanted.

Miranda wrapped her arms around Shepard's neck. His right hand squeezed her ass, causing her to moan into the kiss.

Lawson was dazed with the lust she felt for Shepard.

She had sexual desires for many different men before she met Shepard, but those past feelings of desire were easily demisable.

Normally she had total control over herself, but with Shepard it was different. She couldn't stop the lust that was growing inside her nor could she control it, her desire for Shepard controlled her. This raw and uncontrollable feeling of need made her so horny.

Miranda bit Shepard's bottom lip as she broke the kiss. She studied his body, licking her lips seductively.

"You're so addictive." Shepard complemented Miranda in a husky voice as his hands caressed her hips.

Miranda purred as her hands glided down Shepard's body. She bit her bottom lip as she grinded her hips against his. His left hand glided down her body and onto her thigh. Using his right hand to support Miranda's head and neck, he sat up from the headboard, hiking her left leg up his waist as he laid her body down upon the bed.

Miranda's right hand pushed on the back of Shepard's head; bring his lips to her own. She caressed Shepard's stubble covered face as they deepened the kiss, they moaned lightly into the kiss.

Shepard slid his hand up her thigh but stopped suddenly as he felt wet gauze. He pulled away from her lips and looked down towards her leg.

Miranda whimper lightly as Shepard's lips left hers. Her lust filled vision began to clear as she saw concern on his face as he looked down her body.

Lawson pushed Shepard's chin up so their eyes locked. "What's wrong?" Her voice was mixture of desire and concern.

"You're bleeding." Shepard backed away from her so she could see her leg.

The gauze white gauze was now stained a dark red. Miranda's leg and inner thighs started to hurt once the epinephrine that flooded her veins evaporated.

"I will be fine." Miranda said as she sat up. "I just have to put some Medi-gel on it." She held on to the sides of his face and pulled him into a kiss.

Shepard sat down beside her on the bed. "Once your leg is patched up we need to shower and make the bed."

Miranda smiled as she looked at Shepard's sweaty body. "We got quite messy," her sultry accented voice kissed his ears softly. "Wouldn't you agree commander?"

Shepard leaned towards Lawson and kissed her lips. "I would have to agree with you Miss Lawson." His arm snaked itself around her back, he pulled her close to him and kiss her temple. Miranda smiled lightly at his affectionate gesture. "It was totally worth it though." Shepard whispered in her ear.

Miranda chuckled. "Defiantly." Lawson looked back down at her bloodied leg; she really needed to look at it.

Miranda got off of the bed and on to her slightly wobbly legs. She walked into the middle of the room, her left leg had slight limp. "Are you coming, commander?" She called over her shoulder, giving him a wink before she continued on her way.

Shepard quickly got out of the bed and chased after her.

Lawson yelped as he swept her off of her feet and into his arms, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

"I didn't know I had that much of an effect on you." Miranda flirted as her lips drifted closely to his ear.

"You don't know that half of it." Shepard muttered in a husky voice.

Miranda felt her skin tingle from his words.

Once they entered the small room Shepard sat Miranda down on the bathroom counter.

She started to unwrap her bandage as he got the first aid kit out of the closet.

Miranda frowned lightly once the bandage was removed. Any sign of recovery had been washed out with blood.

"You know," Shepard's voice was playful as he tried to cheer her up. "If the Medi-gel doesn't work we could always suture it." He placed a small container of Medi-gel, a fresh gaze bandage, and a clean cloth beside her as he stood between her legs.

Miranda shook her head a as she smiled at Shepard. "No one uses sutures any more; they take longer to heal and are prone to infections." Lawson ran the cloth under hot water. "Medi-gel also has local anaesthetics so it doesn't become irritating like a suture." Miranda started to wipe the blood off of her leg.

Shepard smiled at her. "Stitches aren't that bad, I turned out fine and I had lots of them."

Miranda gave Shepard a puzzled look "You had multiple stitches?" Lawson asked as she threw the cloth in the cloth into the sink, and grabbed the small container of Medi-gel.

"Yeah," Shepard smiled lightly "One of the many perks of living in a slum for eighteen years." His voice had a light chuckle to it, but she could hear the pain that was hidden deep within his laugh. "Hospitals were poor, Doctor's had to report gunshot wounds and buying a lot of Medi-gel from the local pharmacy is an easy way to get the cops on your tail." Shepard continued. "To live out there, you had to be resourceful."

Miranda Looked at Shepard's face with a flabbergasted expression. "You were in a gang? Why wasn't that mentioned in your files?" Lawson questioned as she twisted off the cap to the Medi-gel and began applying it to her leg. "I had access to uncensored versions of your redacted files, how did that slip past me?" She asked in frustration as she looked down at her leg, carefully applying the Medi-gel.

"You didn't miss anything." Shepard smiled at Miranda. "My involvement with the Tenth Street Reds isn't recorded anywhere."

She looked into his eyes with concern. "Does the Alliance know about any of this?"

"Of course," Shepard responded openly. "The Alliance is the one that covered it all up."

The severity of what he was telling her hit Lawson like a shockwave. "Who else knows about this?"

"You and some of the Alliance higher ups are the only people who know about this." He responded frankly.

"Not even Garrus?" Miranda asked in shock.

"I don't know how I would tell him," Shepard spoke sadly. "The Reds became very xenophobic after I left, and with how much Garrus hates crime..." His words trailed off "I don't think it would be a good idea."

"What about Williams," The woman's name felt corrosive to Miranda's tongue, but she manage to keep herself calm, "I thought the two of you were in a relationship."

Shepard smiled lightly at Miranda. "Was that jealousy I heard?"

"Don't be absurd." She huffed.

Shepard's smile grew slightly. "If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn't classify what we had as a relationship."

Miranda smiled lightly at Shepard before her face became serious again. She breathed out slowly and looked down at Shepard's abdomen. "Why are you telling me all of this," her voice was soft. "If any of this ever got out it could severely damage your career and reputation." She twisted the cap back onto the small container and placed it on the counter. She rested her hands in her lap. "You've only known me for a couple of months. I'm an ex-Cerberus officer- a terrorist in the eyes of the Alliance!" Her eyes didn't even dare to look into his. "So, why are you telling me all of this?" her voice was soft and laced with pain.

He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at his face. He could see pain and hatred deeply rooted in her beautiful eyes. He recognize the feeling the moment he saw it, the self inflicted sadness, the type of sorrow that is brought on by looking at a mirror... and ripping the stranger apart as they struggled to live.

"Miranda," Shepard's voice was soft and caring. "I trust you." His hands held on to her hips and pulled her closer to the edge of the table. "After you trusted me with helping you get Oriana to safety, I saw the real you and you still saw the real me." Shepard chuckled lightly. "You didn't seem me as this hero that most people do. You saw me as another person, capable of making mistake." His hand cupped her cheek. "You opening up to me is the best thing that has ever happened to me a long time." Miranda leaned into his touch.

"Originally you had my interest because you were beautiful, smart, and pragmatic." Shepard felt like an idiot as he smiled at her.

"Then you showed me the real you. The snarky, flirtatious, capable, insecure, intoxicatingly captivate, and serious yet playful woman that I can't clear my thoughts of." Shepard grabbed the Medi-gel as he backed away from Miranda. "I feel like you're the only one that I can talk about my past with." He placed the Medi-gel back in the nearby cabinet. "You understand that sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reason..." His words trailed off as he stared blankly in to the cabinet. "With some of the things I've done..."

Miranda saw the spark of life leave Shepard's eyes. His eyes seemed blank. To a normal person he would have seemed emotionless and unaffected by his past. But Miranda knew what it felt like to be haunted by the ghosts of your past. She could see all of the pain and darkness that had accumulated within him over his life.

Lawson slide off of the counter and embraced Shepard in a hug, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Thank you." Shepard muttered as the pain dissipated from his face.

Miranda stroked his cheek, causing him to look at her. She kissed him softly and passionately, expressing what she felt with actions rather than words. She slowly broke the kiss and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you for trusting me." Miranda whispered into Shepard's ear.

He kissed her forehead. "After you trusted me with your sister, I felt like I connected with you, like I could trust you."

Miranda kissed the side of Shepard's neck. "I want you to be able to trust me; I want you to tell me anything."

Shepard smiled at the woman in his arms. "I want the same thing, you mean a lot to me Miranda."

"Good," Miranda mumbled into his shoulder. "Because I care about you John."

Shepard smiled lightly. "I like the way my name sound's in your voice."

Miranda smiled back at him. "Why, because the first time I said it was during sex?"

Shepard laughed "I thought it was just the accent," he said innocently "However you moaning it defiantly swayed my opinion."

They held each other in silence for a few seconds before Miranda slipped out of his arms. "We should start showering so we can fix the bed and get a reasonable amount of sleep."

Shepard nodded. "Yeah, I have to help the crew patch up the cargo bay tomorrow."

"Well let's get going then." Miranda said with a wink as she pulled Shepard into the shower.

The couple washed each other in a hot shower, relaxing their weak and tired muscles as their lips met for brief kisses and their hands offered each other a tender caress.

After a long and steamy shower they made the bed together, smiling at the normality of it all.

"Shepard!" Miranda giggled as he swept her off her feet and tossed her onto the bed. "Stop it I really need to get dressed." She tried desperately to sound serious, yet she couldn't stop giggling with a smile.

"I don't think you need to." Shepard said with a grin as he pinned her wrists to the bed.

Miranda struggled against him half heartedly. "I really do."

"And why is that?" Shepard asked with a devilish grin.

"I have to go back to my room." Miranda explained with a light giggle.

"Do you really now?"

"Yes."

"Care to enlighten me, Miss Lawson?" Shepard asked playfully.

Miranda rolled her eyes "The crew will know that we're together if I leave your cabin in the morning." Miranda smiled at him. "As much as I would love to stay, we still have a job to do and a professional appearance to uphold."

Shepard chuckled as he let go of her. "There is going to be nothing professional looking about the crew catching you sneaking out of my cabin during the middle of the night."

"Its mid night Shepard," Miranda giggled "The only people awake are going to be the crew working night shift in the Command Center."

"Is that so Miss Lawson?" Shepard smiled "EDI, How many of the crew members are awake."

"Eighty percent of the crew members are still awake Commander." Edi answered after a short pause.

"What deck are most of the crew located?" Shepard asked as his grin grew larger.

"Ninety percent of the active crew members are in the mess hall on deck 3, the remaining ten percent are working nightshift in the CIC. Is there anything else Commander."

"No," Shepard smiled proudly. "I think I proved my point."

Miranda rolled her eyes "Stop smiling you ass."

Shepard placed his arms on either side of Miranda's head as he hovered above her.

"What, is someone upset that they were wrong." Shepard's lips moved closer to Lawson's.

"I'm upset that I have to spend the night with an ass." Miranda retorted.

Shepard's lips lightly grazed Miranda's before he quickly pull away from her.

"Well if that's how you really feel," The commander started to get out of the bed. "I could always sleep on the couch."

Miranda felt the coldness of an operating room table on the back of her neck, and the thick smell of the collector based seemed to linger in her nose the further away he moved. She didn't want to sleep alone, not tonight, not while the vision of her father and the collector base were still fresh in her brain.

Miranda wrapped her arms around Shepard's waist, stopping him from leaving.

"Not so fast," Miranda kissed the back of Shepard's neck. "I still need something to keep me warm."

Shepard chuckled. "Is that all I'm good for?"

"No," Miranda grinned as she placed her head on his shoulder, pressing her chest onto his back. "You're also a great sex toy."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," Miranda answered. "But I'm too tired right now."

Lawson unwrapped herself from Shepard's body and slide into the covers of the bed. "However, I do need you to warm me up. "

"Warm you up?" Shepard moved away from the edge of the bed and closer to the irresistible woman bedside him. "It sounds to me like you just want to cuddle."

"Maybe I do," Miranda's hand reached out and lightly touched his chest. "Would that be so wrong?" she asked innocently as their lips slowly drew closer.

"No, no it wouldn't be." Shepard whispered before their lips locked.

The dark woods of ruination...

Miranda's breath was shaky and on the verge of tears as she talked. "You were the first real thing I had in my life and I was scared of losing you."

Shepard squeezed Miranda's hand, causing her to look at his loving and caring eyes. "I love you Miranda, you're not going to lose me. I could never leave you."

Something about this park was off. It was eerily different to any park he had been to. The park seemed to change with his emotions, filling him with child like optimism whenever he was with Miranda and something darker and sinister whenever he thought about things like his father.

Shepard froze, his father, h-he was dead, stone... stone dead. Yet he was in the park, how could that be possible? There was no way in hell that anyone would want to resurrect him. So how, how the fuck did he see him earlier?

Miranda kissed Shepard's brow, slightly pulling him away from his thoughts.

"When you wake up, everything will change for us, and it will be on our terms."

"W-when I wake up?" Shepard asked out loud.

Shepard reached out to touch Miranda, but his hand past right through her.

"When you wake up," The words burn themselves into his brain.

"When you wake up," Where was he now? He knew he wasn't in hell or heaven, he had died once already and found no such thing as an afterlife.

"When you wake up," The words repeated themselves like a fucking mantra.

"When you wake up," Where was he last? He couldn't remember anything.

"When you wake up," Shepard's brain felt like it was on fire as he tried to concentrate and drown out the voice.

His last mission, he remembered rushing towards the citadel-the catalyst, the crucible needed to be fired.

"When you wake up," Shepard head throbbed as he tried to focus.

"Is this what reaper indoctrination feels like?" Shepard shook his head as the thought crossed his mind. No, he couldn't be indoctrinated. He wouldn't be able to question his state of mind if he was, wouldn't he?

Shepard shook his head and cleared his thought's. He needed to see Miranda again, he needed to have a drink with Garrus and help James pass the N7 training course. He had so much left to do, he couldn't give up now, all he needed to do was wake up...

Somewhere...

Shepard felt heavy, he tried to open his eyes, move his legs, wave his arms, but they were all paralyzed. He was completely immobile, yet he could still hear the calm beeping of a heart monitor.

He could feel the warmness and uncomfortable cushion of a hospital mattress beneath him.

He felt a familiar hand in his own as the scent of her perspiration calmed him, Miranda.

He was home now.

AN: Sorry that this took so long. I got busy with a lot of stuff and didn't really have time to work on this. Also I updated Miranda's age in Chapter 2 so it's actually correct (She's 36) and added chapter names. The next chapter will deal with the present and will further the story line. Please leave a review or PM me. Seriously the reviews I've gotten are incredible, thank you.

Sincerely: Chosen Undead27