Hey all! So, I meant to write two updates for today because I skipped out on Glee day but instead I went to a peewee T-ball game (they little girls were SO adorable it was ridiculous). So I come bearing only one update. Sort of melancholy but I like it a lot. Enjoy!
She sits in a rocking chair in the corner of the room, hands running over her extended stomach. She's huge and the nursery is finished, currently filled with the unwrapped presents she received at her baby shower. She smiles sadly and looks out the window at the tree that sits on the lawn of their house. This feels weird and she knows it shouldn't but she can't help herself.
"Hey," he says softly from the doorway and she turns, settling her hazel eyes on him. She gives him a smile without traces of sadness and waves him into the room. "Got a lot of swag I see." She nods and leans further into the rocking chair. "You're uncomfortable."
"I feel weird," she admits and he keeps his eyes on her stomach. "I know that I shouldn't but after everything…"
He nods because he gets it. He knows what this must feel like for her, the surrealism of it all. "He'll be here soon enough," he says and she lets out a sigh. "Does that make it better? That he's a boy?"
She looks at him and bites her bottom lip, teeth scraping away the chapstick she applied in the backyard just before she opened her gifts. "I think I'd feel worse if she were a girl."
He nods. He thinks he'd feel worse if she had a girl too. "You love him though right?" He's not questioning her, he just needs to hear it.
"Of course I do," she says quietly, eyes looking down at her stomach before she looks at him again, watching as he settles himself on the floor, back resting against the white crib he helped set up. "But I've done this before… I mean, not all this," her hands motion around the room, "but this." Her hands rest on her belly. "And my body remembers everything, and I remember everything and I just feel horrible that she's not here… It's weird knowing he's here to stay when she wasn't."
"It was different back then Q."
She nods. "I know," she says breathlessly, easing herself out of the rocking chair and on to the ground in front of him. "I think about it sometimes… A lot more now than before."
He smiles at her admission. "Yeah, me too." She leans forward and grabs his hand, fingertips running lightly over his knuckles. "What do you think about?"
She cocks her head to the side a little, gaze focused on his hand. "It depends. Sometimes I think about how awesome it could've been. Us in this tiny but perfect apartment with our baby girl growing up to be beautiful and perfect. I'd force you to go with us to Fairytale Town and then you'd drag us to the zoo and she'd be so happy that she got to do both and we'd be happy because she was." She knows he's smiling even though she's not looking at him and it makes her grin. "You'd take her to the lions and tigers because they're badass and then you'd take her to the reptile house and lift her up so she could see in all the high exhibits. And I'd wait in line with her to meet Mother Goose while you bought food. Then we'd play with her at the shoe slide and we'd be laughing and it'd be gorgeous."
She locks eyes with him, fingers lacing together as her blonde hair falls back around her face. "But that thought makes me sad so I try to think about what would've realistically happened on a day to day basis. We'd be tired and working all the time. We wouldn't have finished school and out tiny apartment wouldn't have been perfect, it would've been depressing. She'd still be beautiful but none of us would laugh nearly as much as we did in the other version of us." Her smile is sad now.
"It's easier to think it would've been horrible."
The happy version of them makes him sad too.
She shrugs. "Makes me feel like I didn't make a mistake."
"We could've been awesome though."
She smiles and watches him stand up, arms outstretched to help her up. She wobbles a bit, her belly throwing her off balance. "We could've," she answers truthfully. She kisses his cheek and he's smiling again.
"Alright, come on," he says slipping an arm over her shoulder and walking them towards the door. "I'm sure your husband's freaking out in your kitchen because you've gone all emo again. I think you're gonna give him a complex before this pregnancy is over."
She giggles and leans into his side. "He just doesn't get it Noah… You're the only one that does."
"I know, that's why I'm your best friend. Maybe you should throw him a bone once in a while," he suggests and she attempts to shrug against him.
"I try. I think the whole thing weirds him out a bit though. And I'm sure it doesn't help that you're the only one I'll talk to it about."
"It's because he still sees me as a threat," he says proudly and she rolls her eyes.
"Only in our dreams goof," she says sweetly and kisses his cheek once more before she pulls away from him. She goes over to the sink where her husband washes the dishes and her smile gets wider than it was with him. She saddles up next to him, kisses his lips and then helps him dry the plates.
Puck bows out quietly.