Hello everyone, Dark here!
Ninja: Hello.
Who are-
Ninja: Goodbye.
What was that about?
WB: I'm guessing you've angered the salad gods.
Salad gods? What do ninjas have to do with salad gods?
WB: You'll know soon enough.
What does that even mean?
WB: Yes.
Okay then. Anyways, without further ado, enjoy!
(Dark_Master_98 POV)
"We're almost there, just a little further."
The three of us rounded a corner, and I saw a slightly familiar building. It took me a few seconds to realize it, but it was a distorted version of my own house. The oak planks making up the building somehow got replaced with dark oak planks, the railroad station now resided sideways on top of the house, and the walls were now on a slight angle. The silverfish looked up at me.
"Well, what do you think? I know it isn't much, but it should be good enough. For now, mi casa es su casa."
"Mi casa es su casa, you're right about that." I muttered.
The silverfish didn't seem to notice, and wriggled up the steps and into the house, Jyregoza thumping close behind. Looking behind me, I followed them into the house. The inside didn't fare much better than the outside. All of my chests were replaced with furnaces, my crafting table rested on the ceiling, and the floor was made of dirt. Also, my armor stand was nowhere to be seen.
"So, how long have you been here?" I decided to ask.
"It's been about 5 quazkos since Jyregoza and I found this place," the silverfish responded, "Though we have lived in this general area for about 87 byjingos."
"Ah, I see. That's been a while," I nodded thoughtfully, trying not to give away the fact that I had no idea what that meant.
"Oh, I'm such a Cobweb-sniffer. I haven't even told you my name, have I? My full name is Sylvester Gurgleschmitzendorfenhitleroystalstobamalincowashingtofupopsinklespritzendorkelsteinucardokusupercalifragilicexpialidocioushippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobiaurio the Fiftieth, but you can just call me Sylvester. My pet here is Jyregoza Bob, but I just call him Jyregoza. It's easier to remember."
"Right. My name is Dark_Master_98, but call me Dark."
"Why do you have underscores and numbers in your name? That's just weird. Did your family want you to be made fun of?"
"My what?"
"You know, your family. Your mother, father, siblings? The people who raised you? Comrades, amigos, anyone?"
"I'm sorry, I don't quite know what you mean."
Jyregoza and Sylvester turned to each other for a moment. Then, they turned back.
"You don't have a family?" He asked with a twinge of sadness.
"I raised myself, just like everyone does. I don't understand what the big deal is."
"I'm sorry, can you give us a moment?"
Jyregoza and Sylvester went over to the other side of the room, seeming to be communicating silently to each other. I decided to sit down on one of the furnaces, which slightly sunk down to conform to my body. I should've been more interested by that, but at this point, I had dealt with enough strangeness today that a little more didn't matter. After a few moments, the pair came back.
"Alright, we've decided. As of now, you're joining our family!"
"Huh?"
"You heard us, you're now a member of our family! Since you don't have one, we'll let you join ours!"
"Um, thanks?"
"It's time for the family initiation ritual! Hold out your hand, please. Either one will do."
Still slightly confused, I held out my left hand to Jyregoza and Sylvester. Sylvester jumped up and gave my hand a quick nibble, while Jyregoza lightly tapped the top half of his bedrock frame on my wrist.
"Welcome to the family, Dark Underscore Master Underscore Ninety-Eight! Of course, we'll have to go through the proper paperwork and send it to government offices to make it official, not to mention the physical exams, trials, crucifixions, and all that other boring stuff, but that can wait for a bit."
"Wait, what was that last one?" He continued, not acknowledging my question.
"So, what-"
A loud thump from outside interrupted our conversation.
"What was that?"
Sylvester looked at Jyregoza.
"She's back."
"Who?"
"Take a look for yourself."
Sylvester led me over to a small crack in the wall just large enough to let me see outside. As I peered, the only thing I could see was a sheep grazing on scattered patches of grass.
"What am I looking for?"
"Give it a moment."
As I continued looking through the cracks, a large shadow appeared over the sheep. Then, a giant chicken the size of a jungle tree came down from the sky, producing another loud thump. The sheep looked up at it with a terrified expression and froze in fear. Without hesitation, the chicken picked up the sheep in its beak, and swallowed it in one fell swoop.
"Meet Tyrannogallus Rex, or as I like to call her, the Tyrant Chicken King."
WB: Really? A T-Rex Chicken?
Why not? Nothing else is right, so why not turn the harmless chicken into a gigantic menace?
WB: You do realize the King title is reserved exclusively for men? You've made this chicken female, so wouldn't Tyrant Chicken Queen work better?
Maybe it would, but Tyrannosaurus Rex isn't exclusively a male species now, is it? Besides, this world doesn't work using our logic.
WB: Fair point.
Herobrine: What about me?
Your name is fine, Herobrine. Hero is either neutral context or more commonly male, and you're a male, so no problem.
Herobrine: That's not what I meant, and you know it. Where am I in the story?
WB: You're probably getting shoved off to the side, never to be heard from again.
Herobrine: That doesn't make sense though, why would Dark introduce both of us to the story and even end the previous chapter with your reveal if we'd never be seen again?
WB: Maybe he's just forgetful.
I'm trying to pace the story along so your story arc doesn't get too far ahead of the main one.
Herobrine: What are we doing in that time, then?
Just assume you're making small talk. This has gone on for far too long. Anyways, without further ado, enjoy!