Title: Damaged
Author: KayBo
Rating: G
Word count: 282
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie Proulx and all others who had a hand in bringing them to life. I own nothing and have nothing to sue over.
Damaged
Ennis feels like he has been kicked in the stomach. The hammer in his limp hand falls to the ground. Birds continue chirping. The sun is still shining. The world is still spinning.
Ennis is standing still. Frozen.
"I still can't figure out quite to quit you, Ennis."
Jack doesn't want him anymore. Jack is going to leave him. Ennis can't think of anything else except those words slipping from the mouth of the man he loves. He wants to shove them back in. Shove them so far that they aren't even a thought in Jack's head. If only Ennis could.
If only I could have been better, he thinks. If only I could have made him smile and laugh, he thinks. Ennis goes over all of the exchanges between them for the past year. All the of the signs of Jack's distress were there, now the cause is only too clear.
Jack didn't touch him anymore. Jack tensed when he was nearby. The sideways looks. The ill-concealed sighs. All of it because of Ennis.
Hindsight is always 20/20 Ennis thinks bitterly. He thinks back on his marriage to Alma. He should have known the minute he stepped of Brokeback that it would never have worked. He should have known that Jack was too much a part of him to forget and sweep under the rug. He should have known that he would get his due and everything would turn to dust around him.
If only he could have been better…
"I still can't figure out quite to quit you, Ennis."
Ennis unglues himself from the Earth and walks toward the house. He won't stand in the way of Jack's wants anymore.