Summary extended: While playing an innocent game of hide-and-seek with Alfred, Matthew Williams, personification of Canada, is mistaken for a girl. Again.

He runs away from the man who believes he took in an orphaned girl and tries to get back home to his brother and guardian, America (Alfred F. Jones) and England (Arthur Kirkland). Along the way, he meets a strange rabbit...

How will he fare when he finds one of England's storybooks coming to life around him? How will he ever survive...

Wonderland?

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. I also don't own Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There, The Looking Glass Wars, American McGee's Alice, the 2010 Alice in Wonderland movie and/or video game, or any other Alice in Wonderland related titles or merchandise. I also do not own the characters of Hetalia or the names used in the 2010 Tim Burton film Alice in Wonderland, or the idea that Wonderland was actually a mispronunciation of Underland, as is suggested in the 2010 Alice in Wonderland.

A/N: I have nothing to say, so... yeah.

Just... Enjoy~!

As I wander through the woods, a set of footprints catches my attention. They're small enough to be Mattie's shoe size, but there's no way it's him...

Mattie doesn't wear girl's shoes.

Doesn't matter that it's not him, I can't leave an innocent kid alone to wander around in the woods! I follow the footprints, putting my Native American tracking skills to use for the first time in years.

Following the footprints and an occasional bit of light blue fabric snagged on branches, I eventually come to a small clearing. The trail ends here...

Wait, they stop next to a tree. Did the girl climb the tree for some reason? Was she running away from someone or something?

I approach the tree, walking around a few feet away, looking for the best way up. Finding one, I begin to climb carefully. Hey, maybe I can even spot Mattie if I look from a higher vantage point.

I'm on the ceiling. The ceiling. Don't get mad at me for freaking out, I have every right to panic. I have no way out, for one thing, and I'm stuck on the fricking ceiling.

Oh, yeah, and the hole I made in the floor earlier? It's gone now. Is today going to get any weirder?

A thought hits me: what if I were to jump from the ceiling to the floor? Would I just land on the ceiling again, or would I land on the floor?

Well, it's worth a shot. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and push off the ceiling.

"OOF!"

Okay, I landed face-first on the floor. Painful, yes, but problem number one is solved. Now what?

Blowing my curl away from my face again (not that it ever helps, the curl just returns to its original spot in front of my face. Damn thing.), I glance around. Okay, lots of doors and a curtain. An empty room with a bunch of doors and a random curtain, possibly to cover a window.

Windows won't be very helpful right now, so I start with the door next to it, rattling the handle. Locked. If this is a reoccurring pattern, I am going to scream.

I move to the next door, testing the handle again. Locked. Just like the next three. And the last one before the curtain. Merde.

… I'm okay with getting a few cuts, so long as I get out of this god-forsaken room. Taking a deep breath and praying for a miracle, I yank on the curtain, drawing it off to the side and hooking it there.

There's not a window. There's not even a door, which would have been REALLY nice. Whoever owns this place decided to hang a curtain in front of a blank wall.

Qu'est-ce l'enfer? Why would anyone do that? I mean, come on! The curtain obviously isn't a tapestry!

There's no way out. There's no way I can get home. I'll never see my brother again.

As the full weight of my situation hits me, I sink slowly to my knees, struggling to hold back my tears.

"Francis ..." I whisper. "Arthur... A-Alfred..."

I can't hold back the tears anymore. One by one, they slide down my cheeks. Mon Dieu, why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?

Sniffling, I look up. Wait a second... is that a tiny door? I blink. Okay, unexpected.

Today CAN get weirder, apparently.

The door is obviously either locked, too small for me to fit through, or both, but I try the handle anyway. No harm in testing, right?

Locked. Just as predicted. I sit back with a sigh, looking around once more.

Wait a second. When did that table get there? It was NOT there a moment ago.

On top of the mysteriously appearing table is a small bottle with a label attached to it as well as a key. I pick up the bottle, reading the label. 'Drink Me.' Absently, I place the bottle back on the table

On a hunch, I duck down under the table to check something. Yup. There's a small glass container with a square of cake with the words 'Eat Me' written in icing on the top.

Putting the cake back, I pick up the key, leaving the bottle on the table.

"This probably isn't going to work," I mutter to myself, fitting the key into the lock of the first door. No matter what I do with the key, the door remains stubbornly locked. "Of course. Just like in the book." Despite the fact that I know it won't work, I test the key on all of the doors.

"She remembered the upelkuchen. You'd think she would remember everything else from the first time," a voice murmurs. Chills creep up my spine. Is someone watching me?

Ignoring the voices, I test the key on the last door, the tiny one. It opens, but I know better than to try to slip through. I probably could, but I'm more likely to get stuck or something than get through it easily. Heaven forbid that anything here be easy for me.

"You've brought the wrong Alice!" a quiet voice, different from the one I heard earlier, hisses.

"No, she's the right one," a third voice insists. "I'm certain of it." The voice is familiar, but I can't quite place it.

"What happened next?" I whisper, biting my lip nervously and trying desperately to ignore those voices. Any mistake I make will take time to fix, time I don't want to spend in this cramped little room. "That's right, she put the key on the table and drank some of the liquid... it made her shrink, so she could fit through the door. But the door was locked again by the time she did that, but the key was still on the table..."

"That's what the cake is for," I continue quietly, tapping my fingers against the glass top of the table. "She couldn't reach the key with her shorter stature, so she ate some of the cake and grew much larger. Then, after picking up the key, she drank the rest of the contents of the bottle so she would shrink again and... no, she did something else, something about a sea of tears..."

I shake my head. "It will be much easier to just leave the key on the floor and not bother with the cake," I decide. Placing the key on the floor about halfway between the table and the door, I take a sip from the bottle.

Mon Dieu! It tastes disgusting! I force myself to swallow, gagging slightly as the thin but foul-tasting liquid slithers down my throat.

"She's the wrong Alice!" the second voice insists, apparently not even watching anymore.

"Give her a chance!" the third voice protests.

I begin to shrink, panicking when the dress doesn't shrink with me. Thankfully, I don't shrink too much, so it still fits to some extent, so long as I tie the apron tighter around me and wrap around the ends of the ribbon so as to keep the top of the dress against my skin. It's far too long, though. Long enough for the skirt (which was originally about five centimeters longer than knee-length, mind you) to touch the floor.

"This bloody skirt is going to trip me," I grumble in frustration, tightening the apron around my waist. "Oh well, I suppose it's better than nothing..."

Shaking my head, I hurry carefully over to the key, which is still sitting right where I left it, and scoop it up. It's much harder to handle now, being the size of a small sword. The key was large enough to begin with!

With some difficulty (meaning I tripped a few times), I manage to make my way to the small door and push the key into the keyhole. Gripping it with both hands, I turn the key and push the door open. Finally, I can get out of that damn room!

The door leads to a garden. I turn around, expecting to see a wall, but there's nothing there. All that remains to indicate where I came from is a door to nowhere.

"Curiouser and curiouser," I mumble, quoting the book just for the heck of it. I continue along a pathway through the garden, turning from side to side so as to see the many strange sights.

"I told you she was the right Alice!" the voice I heard before (the third one, to be specific) crows. I turn, indigo eyes widening in surprise, to see the white rabbit from before. He is accompanied by a dormouse (I suppose, seeing as dormice where the only mice mentioned in the books), three flowers that have faces (… okay, then), two bald boys that looked similar enough to be twins (Tweedledee and Tweedledum, perhaps?), and a dodo bird with blue feathers (it seemed odd at first, but then I realized that blue feathers might be perfectly normal on dodos. I wouldn't know, I've never seen one before now).

"I am not convinced," a flower states flatly.

"How is that for gratitude? I've been up there for weeks, trailing one Alice after the next!" the rabbit snaps, "and I was almost eaten by other animals!"

Okay... so he was looking for this "Alice" person, and he thought that I might be her... so he led me here?

"Can you imagine?" the rabbit continued angrily, glaring at the ground. "They go about entirely unclothed, and they do their... shukm..." That prompts some raised eyebrows in the crowd. I have no idea what he means, but I'm not so sure I want to know, anyway. "... in public! I had to avert my eyes."

"She doesn't look anything like herself!" a second flower protests.

"That's because she's the wrong Alice!" argues the dormouse, pointing towards me with a frustrated air.

"If she was, she might be," one of the Tweedles decides.

"If she isn't, she ain't," the other replies.

"But if she were so, she would be," the first argues.

"But she isn't, nohow," the second insists. Finding no room for argument, the first decides not to reply. Instead, he rolls his eyes, looking away.

"How can I be the wrong Alice if I'm not even called Alice?" I ask, growing more and more irritated as I glance from face to face. The confused looks on their faces only infuriate me more. "And who are you, if I might ask?"

"Oh, I'm Tweedledee, he's Tweedledum," the Tweedle on the right declares, gesturing to .

"Contrariwise, I'm Tweedledum, he's Tweedledee," his twin responds.

I have to wonder if they even realize that they just said the exact same thing.

"We should consult Absolem," the dodo declares.

"Exactly! Absolem will know who she is!" a flower agrees.

Tweedledee walks towards me, smiling. "I'll escort you," he offers, holding out his arm politely.

"Hey! It's not being your turn!" protests Tweedledum, frowning as he trails after his twin. "So unfair!"

Each Tweedle grabs one of my arms, yanking me back and forth as we walk down the path.

"Hey! Leave off!" Tweedledee whines.

"Let go!" Tweedledum snaps.

"Maple! Is this normal for them? OW!" I yelp. "Are they always like this?"

"Family trait," the rabbit explains apologetically, hopping after us. "You can both escort her!"

Okay, the end of this chapter was based off of an actual scene of the 2010 Alice in Wonderland. A lot of what the Wonderland characters said was quoted directly from the movie. To do that, I watched the scene, rewound it repeatedly to look at and listen to specific lines, and used the subtitles feature to ensure I had the words and spellings of Wonderland terms right.

One of the few lines I changed (that wasn't one of Matthew's lines) was the dodo's "You'd think she would remember all this from the first time." I added the upelkuchen bit, since Mattie did find the cake (which, by the way, is called upelkuchen in the movie) on his own, whereas Alice didn't find it until after she tried climbing back up onto the table to get the key (yeah, that didn't work).

In short, it took a very long time, but I think it was worth it in the end.