Rory was sitting alone in the front stairs of the school listening to music. He didn't like hanging with the Glee club anymore so he spend almost all his spare time alone listening to music or writing in his notebook. Kurt had tried plenty of times trying to talk to him but Rory would avoid him almost every time. He knew that Kurt wanted to talk about it and Rory wasn´t as comfortable as he had been weeks ago. Rory kept his gaze straight to the street were cars kept passing in the same monotone and boring way.

"Hey Rory!" said Blaine as he pulled on of Rory´s earphones. Rory looked up surprised but then he loosened up a little bit. "May I sit?" Rory smiled as only response and then he looked down. He couldn´t understand why Blaine was talking to him. They had barely talked since they knew and they had almost anything in common except…they hang up with Kurt.

"Look me and the other guys are worried for you." started Blaine a little bit uneasy. The younger guy kept his eyes on the floor like if he wasn´t hearing Blaine at all. "And I talk to Kurt."

Rory´s corporal expression kept calm even though his mind was a tornado of thoughts. Kurt wouldn´t tell Blaine. He had promised.

"Yeah, what did he told you?" asked Rory trying to sound natural.

"About you and Puck."

Blaine waited some seconds for a response. He expected Rory to cry or to be angry. He expected some kind of reaction from him, he didn´t mind if it was a good or a bad response but when he got none he started worrying.

"Nothing happened." Lied Rory. "You must be confused."

Blaine shock his head amazed, that kid was alike a rock. He was so cold and apparently strong. In his mind, Blaine wondered if he was as strong as he tried to appear.

"Rory look at me." Blaine tried to pull Rory but the moment his hand met his shoulder Rory jumped and took a step away from Blaine. That was the reaction he expected. "No Rory, you don´t have to be scared of."

"I am not scared." he lied again.

"Look I can help you get over this." said Blaine as he offered his hand to Rory. The younger one shocked his head and took another step back.

"There is nothing to get over, I am fine."

Rory took his bag from the floor and left Blaine on the entrance almost running. He was going to kill Kurt. He had no right to tell Blaine about him and…No wait, he was going to kill Puck. That was his entire fault. If he had kept his hand to himself he wouldn´t have that problem. He would sleep well at night and he wouldn´t have this urge to throw up every time he thought about him.

He turned a corner and kept walking as he tried to find Kurt. He needed to talk to him. No he needed to scream at him. He needed to break stuff and he wanted to.

*CRASH*

His elbow collapsed against the lockers in a loud smash. He fell to the floor and looked up trying to find his aggressor. When he raised his eyes he was able to see Puck. No, puck wouldn´t do that. He closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them again he was able to see one guy with Hockey uniform. He wasn´t Puck.

"Why so sad pixie boy?" he made fun of him one last time before he left the hallway laughing with his friends.

Rory stood in the ground trying to understand what had just happened. Why he had seen Puck instead of the other guy. Why his mind was tricking him in such a rude way.

"Rory are you okay?" Kurt as he looked over the younger one that kept immobile in the floor.

"YOU!" screamed Rory the moment he recognize Kurt.

The senior looked at him confused but Rory didn´t gave him any explication. He just took his hand and guided him to the boys bathroom. When they were finally alone Rory shouted at him as hard as he could.

"Why the hell you told to Blaine?" in those scream she felt all the anger fading away. Part of him felt kind of relieved but the other part kept reminding him that what Kurt had just did was wrong and that kept the anger on the maximum level.

"I thought he could talk to you."

"About what? Has he ever been in this situation? Has he ever been…" he stopped himself seconds before he finished the sentence.

"No, he hasn´t." accepted Kurt in a lower voice.

"Did I tell him personally about this?" now Rory´s tone of voice was normal. He was still angry but screaming at Kurt wouldn´t make things better. They would make things worse; and more if someone heard them.

"No you didn't."

"Then why you told him even though I asked you not to?"

Kurt stood silent for a few seconds. Rory waited patiently.

"He is good talking to boys as much I am talking to girls. I thought he would manage to make you see the light and tell on Puck."

Rory closed his eyes and then he tried to think clearly. Kurt was trying to help him and he thanked him in his mind. But as he had already said he didn´t want to and it wasn´t Kurt´s job to force him. It was not nobody´s job. Unconsciously he smiled making now Kurt mad.

"What´s wrong with you."

I asked that myself every night, thought Rory still smiling.

"I am not telling." That was the only thing he manage to say before trying to step out of the bathrooms. Now he wanted to stay as far from Kurt as possible.

He passed next to Kurt without adding anything else and he pushed the door open Rory thought that was it, he really believed that Kurt would leave the deal alone.

"Rory!" screamed Kurt but Rory didn´t stopped. He walked out of the bathroom and he kept walking. He was about to out his earphones on again when he heard Kurt screaming t him again. "Rory!"

This time he turned around and started at Kurt defiant.

"You know what; I think what is wrong with you." Kurt walked slowly toward him and Rory felt kind of a déjà vu. That scene reminded him of how Fin had out Santana. But Kurt would never tell his secret out loud. He wouldn´t. "I think you don´t want to tell because you think you deserved it." Rory felt escapeless, everyone was staring at him and some of them were already whispering. "You think you are not good enough and you keep punishing yourself."

"Don´t do it Kurt." Whispered Rory but Kurt didn´t heard him.

"That is why you keep starving yourself and every time we make you eat something you ran to the bathroom? Are you punishing yourself? Do you think that only by throwing up your food would make the problems go away?"

Rory raised his fist and Kurt knew he had crossed the line. Kurt closed his eyes and waited for a punch that never came. After some seconds and hearing some soft sobs he finally opened his eyes. Rory´s fist was already gone but he was still looking at Kurt with the same killer look. His blue eyes were filled with tears and Kurt was able to see that he was trying to hold them.

"Thanks for being so supportive."

RORY´S POV

I hated him, I really did. I threw my books to the bed and then I opened by favorite notebook. It had everything that had passed through my mind. Every thought, every feeling and every memory where recorded there. I opened in the middle of it and then stared at the two pages. In one of them was a poem dedicated to Brittany and in the other a song I had written.I reread the poem and I felt a hypocrite. How I dared to talk about love when all I could feel was pain, fear and anger? I ripped them off and then threw it to the floor.

I kept ripping papers from my notebook as the tears kept falling from my eyes. Now that Blaine knew he would tell everyone. All the glee club would know and then the whole school. They would judge him like they had done with his song. Again I would be the rejected one. Now that Kurt had screamed up about my "alimentation" problem I would be so in trouble. I would be asked lots of questions and everyone would stare at me like a sick minded man.

I finally destroyed my notebook but I was still angry, I was still crying. I needed to let it all go. I needed to let the pain go.

No one was at home that afternoon. I was left all alone and I had the whole house to scream and to… What I was supposed to do? I didn´t had lots of stuff to break and I couldn´t break stuff that wasn´t mine.

I stepped back a little bit and looked around me. The room was filled with papers and it looked like a complete mess. I kept looking and then I tripped with something. It was a piece of clothing. I pick it up and stared at it. It wasn´t mine, it was too big and old. Then I got it.

I let it fall to the ground and I covered my mouth trying not to scream. It was puck´s. I hadn´t returned it to him. Then the flash backs came. I closed my eyes and the images were all there. As vivid as if I was living them again.

"Go away!" I screamed at them but they kept coming. I couldn´t block them.

His hands all over me. His mouth and lips against mines. The tears started falling from my eyes, and suddenly, my room wasn´t mine anymore. It was someone´s else. Puck was next to me. I could feel his warm breath against my neck.

"Leave me alone." I whispered but Puck didn´t heard. He was too worried taking me by the neck with his big hands.

I tried to pull them off my neck but then I realized there were none. There wasn´t any hands but still. I could feel it. I could smell Puck´s colony and I could hear his voice inside my mind screaming for Kurt. I couldn´t breathe anymore. He was too near. I couldn´t stand the fact I was breathing the same air he was. I stood up and tried to find him. I was alone in the room.

No you are not. He whispered inside my mind. I turned around and saw how the shadows, first innocent and immobile were now monsters. Monsters screaming my name inside my head. The papers, once filled with drawings and words were painted in blood.

My boxers of that night. I thought as I let some more tears fell. I had bleed. Not too much but he had hurt me, not only mentally but physically. I took a last glance to the papers before I grabbed a lighting and set fire to them.

They burned really quickly and while I watched them burn I could help to cry even more. My whole thoughts and songs written in the middle of the night were gone. I had destroyed them. I had destroyed everything.

"You are mine." He whispered in my ear as he held my arms rudely. It was my imaginary Puck. The one that haunted my dreams and that made me throw up and skip meals.

"Yeah, I think I am." I admitted. I think he was pleased with my answer because seconds later he was gone. Exactly at the same time the fire had grew smaller until it had disappeared.

We are our own demons. We are the ones that hurt oursleves and we are the only guilties of our pain. We were born to be happy, we were raised to be slaves from the world and it´s rules, we are meant to be perfect even thought every time we are more away of our true goal in life...live