-Chapter 4-

-Shaun and Zach's Condo

Zach hangs up. He got Shaun's voicemail once again. He's alone in the condo, wondering what he said, what he did to make Shaun run out on him like that. He thinks back to Shaun's hesitant demeanor when his book is brought up. Zach doesn't understand though, Shaun has always been so forthcoming and never moody. Zach considers going to pick up Cody from the babysitters but he's hoping Shaun will come home so the two of them can talk and Zach can learn why the fuck he is acting like a complete asshole. Shaun has been gone for over 2 hours. Zach keeps looking at his watch, keeps checking his phone, and keeps thinking about worse case scenarios. I am going to have to move out, quit school, take a low paying minimum wage job, and Cody's going to hate me. Fuck. What if he doesn't want to come with me, what if he wants to stay with Shaun? He asks himself. He grabs his car keys and heads out the door. He has a good 4 hours until he needs to be back to get Cody from Kristy's. But where the fuck do I begin to look for him? Zach's aimlessly driving, buckets of rain fall from the sky. Zach can barely even see the roads as he drives, then be panics. What if Shaun's been in an accident, and that's why he hasn't called. Oh fuck, what if I lose him. I can't lose him, I won't. Zach reaches for his phone. He dials Shaun's number one more time. Straight to voicemail again. Zach takes a deep sigh and pulls the car over, realizing there's nothing for him to do. He turns around and heads home. Well to his current home, he thinks.

-Shaun's Hotel

Shaun is on the bed watching TV. He turned his phone off after he made his last call. It was easier that way he thought. I can't take knowing how many times Zach calls. He thinks. This is it, he's never going to trust me again after this. I've lost him and Cody. He's going to go back to San Pedro, and never look back. All my fucking fault. Maybe it's for the best. Someone loudly knocks on the door. Shaun rushes to answer it. The man standing in front of him is about 6 feet tall, about 30 years old with short dirty blonde hair. He's dressed in a dark blue suit that has been dampened from the rain. Shaun doesn't know what to do. Should I hug him, kiss him on the cheek, shake his hand? He thinks before he gets grabbed into a hug by the man.

"It's good to see you Shaun." Travis says.

Shaun pulls away from their embrace. "It's good to see you. Thanks for coming."

Travis grins a mischievous grin. "I haven't came yet, Shaun." He leans back into Shaun, but Shaun steps back.

Shaun nervously laughs. "That's not what I had in mind. I just wanted to talk." He says.

Travis looks annoyed. "That's what you had me come over for, to fucking talk Shaun?"

Shaun nods. "Of course Travis. I didn't plan on hoping into bed with you. I thought you were over me, over this. Didn't you tell me you wanted to be set free of me?" Shaun says with attitude.

"Fuck you S. You know as well as I do that you wanted me to come over here, and fuck you. It's the only thing we did perfectly." Travis replies while taking his suit jacket off.

Shaun bites his lip. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. Fuck it. He thinks to himself as he leans in to kiss Travis.

Travis looks a bit grossed out. "Shaun. Don't be a fucking fem. You know I hate kissing." He reaches to unzip his pants. "If you wanna suck, have at it." He says.

Shaun steps back and sits on the edge of the bed. Travis walks closer, and is standing just inches from Shaun. Shaun scans the room, looks at his watch and thinks of Zach. Zach was everything that Travis wasn't. He was thoughtful, considerate, affectionate perhaps only in private but it was still better than this. Shaun didn't want to fuck Travis, he didn't even really like him anymore. He was just afraid of being alone, and Travis filled that void to some extent. Always there for a fuck. He thought.

"Well?" Travis demanded.

Shaun smiled. "I want to thank you, Travis for making me realize that I don't want or need you. I can do a hell of a lot better than you and I have."

Travis tilts his head. "You sure about that Shaunny boy?"

"Positive." Shaun says while he stands up and walks over to the door and opens it.

Travis zips up his pants and walks out of the room. "Well if you…" He says as Shaun shuts the door in his face.

Shaun laughs. He collects his things from the hotel room, and quickly exits. He thinks of a thousand excuses to tell Zach, but he decides on the truth.

- Zach and Shaun's Condo.

Zach arrives back at the Condo. Still no sign of Shaun. He looks at his phone again, and again nothing. He considers trying to reach out one more time. Fuck it. Fuck him. Is all he entertains on that. It's now nearly 10pm and Shaun has been gone for over four hours. He decides it's time to go get Cody, but he doesn't know what to tell him. Surely he will have questions he thinks on why Shaun isn't home. It's the first night Zach has had to spend alone. Zach walks over next door. Kristy looks surprised. "Hey Zach." She says smiling. "I um thought I was keeping him till midnight?"

Zach nods. "Change of plans. Thanks though."

Kristy motions for Zach to come in. "He's on the couch sleeping." She says.

Zach highly doubts that. The kid was a master at pretending to be asleep, when he wasn't. He walked over and pleasantly found that Cody was in fact asleep. Zach reaches down and picks him up. He had gotten heavier since the last time, as Zach let out a quiet "Ow."

Kristy opened the door for Zach. "He's so cute." She says running her fingers through Cody's hair as Zach exits her condo. "So I guess let's just call it $40 then." She said.

Zach bit his lip. "$40 um great." He said. Fuck Fuck Fuck. He thought. I don't have any money. How the fuck am I going to pay her." I um don't have any cash on me. Is it umm alright if Shaun brings it over later or tomorrow." He asks. Or never.

Kristy nods. "Of course. Have a good night."

Zach opens the door of his condo and carries Cody to his bed. He lays Cody down and takes off his shoes, and covers him up. He watches Cody sleep for a few minutes, before he makes his way out of the room. He looks at the front door, as the nob turns. He feels his heart racing.

"Hi." Shaun says walking in.

"Cody's asleep. I don't want to fight." Zach replies.

Shaun nods. "Thought Kristy was keeping him till 12?" He asks.

Zach tilts his head. "Yeah I thought about a lot of fucking things today, Shaun."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? What the fuck was that about. Where did you go? What the fuck did you do?" Zach asks.

Shaun moves towards the sofa, and sits down. He motions for Zach to come sit next to him. "I want to tell you, but I am beat. Can we just go to bed?" Shaun asks.

Zach shakes his head. "Fine. You need to go and pay Kristy. $40. I didn't have cash on me. Good Night." He says as he heads up to their room. Shaun is still sitting on the coach.

Zach lies in bed. Alone, and in the dark. Twenty minutes later Shaun sneaks quietly into the room. He slips into bed, and says nothing. Zach drifts asleep.

Zach awakens later. He moves his arm almost out of habit behind him to feel for Shaun. He isn't there. Groggy he turns on his bedside lamp and scans the room for Shaun. He stumbles out of bed and throws on a pair of jeans. He doesn't call for Shaun, for fear of waking up Cody. He walks down the stairs of his condo, in total darkness. He nearly trips on a toy of Cody's downstairs. He searches the entire condo, and the last room he enters is Shaun's office. Zach sighs and smiles, as he is relieved. He sees Shaun asleep at his desk. Zach walks into the living room and gets a throw blanket off of the couch and returns to the office to cover Shaun up. He powers off Shaun's laptop and sits down in the chair adjacent to Shaun. He watches Shaun sleep for a few moments until he passes out himself. He is awakened hours later with a kiss, and a simple "Thanks." from the man he loves.