Chapter 4: Feelings Bared

"Who are you?"

Esther's question hung unanswered in the air for a brief moment as Abel took in her lithe form. He was so stunned that he was unable to speak; even in the pale moonlight he could see that she was even lovelier then when he had seen her last, especially her face; soft baby fat had melted into adult curves and her fiery red hair was now longer then his. After becoming queen, she was no longer permitted to cut it as her advisers and subjects insisted that a queen absolutely must have a flowing mane of long tresses and Abel must admit he liked the look. His crusinik vision allowed him to see her clearly, even with only the moonlight lighting the room. After his eyes had drank their fill, he managed to find his voice.

"Esther…its me…"

Curious, the young queen slowly rose from her bed and stood up, trying to get a better look at her mysterious visitor. Had she been anyone else, she would have been frightened out of her wits but Esther just knew this stranger meant her no harm. He spoke as if he knew her and that she knew him. "Please, come closer and let me look at you" she said. Her visitor hesitated at first but finally obeyed as he jumped down from the balcony and entered her bedroom, his beautiful dark wings melting into his back as he did so. As he approached, Esther got a better look at him and her eyes widened. Could it be who she thought it was? Reaching out, the young queen curiously touched the side of his face as if she needed reassurance that he was not an illusion and gasped.

"My god, it is you!"

Abel nodded. "Yes…" He waited and watched as Esther's expression changed from surprise to one of displeasure.

Slap!

The crusinik placed his hand over the spot where his left cheek stung, looking not the least bit surprised as if he came in here fully expecting to be slapped which he did. Still, it wasn't anywhere near as painful as seeing the mixed expression of anger and hurt on her face, tears threatening to spell from her lovely eyes.

"You…how dare you! After all this time! Not one goodbye or letter and then you just suddenly show up at my door like this! Did you not know how worried I was!" It took quite a bit of effort for Esther to keep her voice in a strained whisper instead of shouting in her anger to avoid alerting the guards and waking the other palace residents.

Abel winced. "I…I'm sorry. You're right, it was very inconsiderate of me and you have every right to be angry. But please, at least hear me out." Ion was right, he did owe her an explanation and apology. He had to make her understand somehow that he didn't mean to make her worry and to do that she must know the truth about Cain, that he hunted his twin for her sake as well as the world's, that he left her to protect her, and that she would never be safe as long as his brother still lived. The only problem was he didn't quite know how to start.

Esther's expression finally softened as her anger was replaced with relief and she threw her arms around her former guardian and buried her face in his shoulder. "I've missed you..." she sobbed. "All those years you were gone I worried about you so. Why? Why did you not tell me anything? If you had to go, you could have at least said goodbye..."

Abel was silent a moment as he held the young queen in his arms, trying to comfort her. "Esther, please… I know I have a lot of explaining to do but let me take it slow, ok? Here, I wanted to give you this…" Letting go of Esther, he reached into the folds of his robe and pulled out a small box. She watched as he opened it and pulled out a lovely gold heart-shaped locket with intricate designs and placed over her head and around her neck.

"Happy Birthday, Esther…"

The young queen looked down at the locket around her neck. It was unlike any other she had ever seen before. "Thank you…its beautiful. Where did you get it?"

"I found it on my travels. Now, if I'm going to tell you everything, I think it best if we get a little more comfortable."

Esther nodded. "Yes" she agreed. Taking his hand, she led Abel to a sofa and gestured for him to sit down as she took her seat besides him.

As Abel looked into her dark green eyes, he shifted nervously. He wasn't sure how to start but did his best. "Esther…again, I am sorry for leaving so abruptly all those years ago. I wanted to see you one more time, but I was afraid."

"Afraid? Afraid of what? I don't understand."

"Shh…let me explain. After I was officially declared dead, I couldn't just casually return to the Vatican or even let myself be seen in public, especially anywhere that people may recognize me. That would have roused too much suspicion and I had to be discreet, especially if I was going to search for him."

"Him? As in your brother?"

Abel stared at her surprise. "How did you know?"

"Well, after seeing his face and hearing him say that you share the exact same genetic code, I was able to put two and two together. You…you're twins, aren't you? You must be, you look almost exactly alike." Esther shuddered as she recalled seeing the man named Cain in the church as he attempted to approach the coffin bearing Abel's body after throwing Father Tres across the room like a rag doll. It frightened her to see two men, one whom she loved and one whom she hated more then any other in the world, look almost exactly the same despite being polar opposites.

Abel sighed as he dropped his head slightly. Like Ion, Esther had also become more perceptive over the last five years, especially now that she was a queen. "Yes" he answered. "He is also the leader of the Rosenkreuz Order, the Contra Mundi himself, a very dangerous man. I had to leave to lead him away from you for you would have been in grave danger if he even suspects how…" he wasn't sure how to put it "important you are to me…"

Esther looked confused; was he saying what she thought he was? "I'm not sure what you mean, father. You have many important friends. Why would I be of interest to him in particular?" Abel took the young queen by the shoulders and looked into her eyes once more as he answered in a stern voice:

"Esther… he killed another person who was very precious to me in the past and I know he won't hesitate to do so again to get to me. Don't you see? I didn't leave you because I wanted to; I did it to protect you, because it was the only way I knew how to keep you safe until I can deal with my brother."

Esther was taken aback at Abel's confession. She knew he had issues with his twin, that much was obvious, but had no idea that she was one of his reasons for disappearing for the last five years.

"I'm sorry" she said softly "I had no idea. I haven't heard from you in so long, I thought you had forgotten all about me…"

Abel gently took her face in his hand and caressed her cheek with his thumb as he smiled down at her. "Esther, I could never forget you. Not a single day has gone by that I haven't thought of you, of how much I missed you, of how happy you've made me. That's why I couldn't bear to think of what Cain might do if he ever knew how I felt about you…"

Esther could hardly believe what she was hearing as she looked up into the face of the man she loved. She knew this was her chance, that if she was going to have her answer, it had to be now. "And just how do you feel about me, father?"

Abel was startled at first but then his expression softened as he smiled and leaned down to whisper sensually in her ear: "How do I feel..." Before she could ask what he meant, Abel kissed her, gently brushing his lips to hers, savoring her sweet taste. It was what he had been wanting since he saw her face for the first time in five years in the pale moonlight, wishing that she would once again kiss him with those sweet lips just like she did the day she confessed her love for him as she cradled him in her arms, never knowing that he could hear her, feel her, taste her, even in his death-like state.

"I love you, Esther…"

The young queen was so happy she could cry. After all these years of wondering, she finally had her answer. If she had any more doubts about her guardian's feelings, they were gone. "Then please stay with me…" she begged.

Abel frowned as if he knew this was coming. "Esther, you know I can't. Not while he's still out there. I came back because I know I owe you an explanation and I really did want to see you again but I cannot remain here as long as he still roams free in the world."

The young queen wanted to argue, to protest but couldn't bring herself to because she knew he was right. He had an obligation, a duty that must be fulfilled and she couldn't ask him to forsake it for her. If she truly loved him, she must set aside her own personal desires and allow him to do what he needed to.

"I see…I understand. Do what you must…"

Abel got up as he prepared to take his leave. "Thank you, Esther, for understanding. You have no idea how much that means to me. Once again, I wish you a Happy Birthday. Ion does too. I will come by again when I am able, I promise."

Before the silver-haired priest can change shape and leave again, Esther quickly got up and hugged him from behind.

"Wait!"

Esther felt him stiffen in her grasp before relaxing. Letting him go, she saw him turn around to face her.

"I won't stop you from going. But please, stay with me just for tonight…"

Abel froze in his steps. Did he just hear her right? He hesitated for a moment as if he wanted to say something but wasn't sure how to say it before Esther kissed him again. "If you must go, I want you to have something to remember me by…"

A/N: Okay, fourth chapter up. I intended to make this one but it's a little long so I'm going to break it into two. Oh, and I want to thank all my reviewers so far. I'm glad you like the fic and I aim to please!