"Welcome to another weather-defying day at Interview with Invader Zim!" Elise shouted to the large Irken/ human/ fan-girl audience. She turned to the eleven hostag- guests sitting bound and gagged to squashy armchairs.
"Guess what? Today we're going on a field trip!" Muffled swear words could be heard from the guests, "Oops!" Elise snapped her fingers and the ropes and duct tape vanished. "Heh, heh... sorry guys. Anyway to answer your non-asked questions, we will be going ski and snowboarding!"
"But it's the middle of August!" Dib said confused.
Elise chuckled, "Well, in the real world it is, I suppose. But this is Fanfiction-land! I could make daisies beat up Elvis if I wanted to." Elise paused to look at that image, "Anyway, I need to know who's done this before, and who snowboarding or skiing. Let's start with Dib and Gaz."
Dib looked excited, "I'll ski, and I've done this loads of times!"
"I'll snowboard. And I will destroy you with it." No one questioned her further.
"What is this... skiing? Does it hurt?" Red asked nervously.
Elise thought about this, "Well, It hurts like a living heck if you land wrong from a jump, and snow would usually be really painful for Irkens... But I can get around the that. So... Irkens, Ski or Snowboard?"
"Zim shall Ski, and he will do it miraculously!"
"I'll snowboard. But I won't be happy about it." Tak said, clearly annoyed with the entire concept.
"I will ski, but Red will snowboard!" Purple said enthusiastically.
"I will-" Scoodge started, but Elise interrupted, "Who the hell are you?"
"What? I'm Scoodge! The one you hate!" He yelled.
"I've never seen you before in my life. Ninjas, take the chub-monster away!" Inside, Elise was on the floor pounding the floor and laughing; but she kept her appearance sincere. Instantly Ninjas surrounded Scoodge, beat him up, then dragged him to the dumpster in the back.
"Okay, where were we? Oh yes... Lard Nar, Gir, Mimi... tell us your choice or I shall fetch the Ninjas again!" Elise shouted.
"I wanna SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Gir screamed.
"I will snowboard." Mimi said, without even looking at Elise.
"Considering that snowboarding is basically skateboarding with snow- and skateboarding is for human punks-, I'd rather ski." Said Lard Nar.
"Wow." Elise said disapprovingly, "That is such a horrible generalization. You stink. Anyway... TO THE EQUIPMENT STATION!" She clapped her hands and they were no longer on set, but in a large, warm room filled with all different types of skis, snowboards, boots, poles, hats, coats, gloves, and snow-pants. There were tons of benches surrounding a big fireplace.
"Okay everyone!" Elise shouted above all the excited talking, "I have given the... person... the measurements for your skis/ snowboards. While you wait, pick out coats, gloves, snow-pants, goggles, and hats. Also, any ski supplies at home will be instantaneously by your side in...3...2...1!" Just on cue, Dib and Gaz's ski/ snowboarding stuff suddenly appeared by them. Everyone scrambled around for the coolest equipment.
"OHHHHH... Zim likes these!" he hold up a pretty decent looking purple coat with darker-purple splotches, and a similar hat.
Lard Nar sported a pretty-darn-awesome-looking combo of a coat and a pair of snow-pants that looked like a Tuxedo, "These are fantastic! And the rose has a hand heater just in case!"
Dib and Gaz appeared in front of them, both wearing professional ski equipment. "I haven't worn these since January!" His stuff was a mixture of different shades of dark blue, with a huge iron-on swollen-eyeball patch on the back. Gaz was behind him, wearing so-purple-it's-black colored snow board gear that gave off the impression that she was going to run you over with her snowboard, and she would like it very well understood that she will enjoy it.
"Hey, look at us!" Red and Purple said simultaneously. Red wore a crimson suit, with a huge Irken emblem on the back, with round goggles that were the same color as his eyes. Purple's was a lot like that, but his had little bits of blue in it, and his goggles were a light blue and the same shape at his eyes. Tak walked in, apparently in a very bad mood.
"Ugg, first she dragged me into this stupid story, now she makes me ski against my will..." she grumbled to herself.
"Hmm... Elise, I don't think this equipment is good." Zim yelled to Elise. She turned around, and saw Zim with his feet in the coat sleeves, and his head sticking out of his pant leg. She groaned and turned to Dib.
"Dib, help Zim with his stuff." She said in a commanding tone. She walked off to check on everyone else. She returned to them ten minutes later to find Zim correctly dressed.
"Okay! Thanks Dib." Elise said, "I just checked on Gir and Mimi. Apparently, they don't want to come any more. Anyway, sorry Irkens and Lard Nar, but you guys will spend the first hour at ski school. Wait here for a few minutes, the teacher will come and get you. Everyone else... TO THE SLOPES!" They waddled out to the ski racks. After they all got their skis/ snowboard on, Gaz immediately left without Dib.
"Awww... I always ski with Gaz!" Dib said disappointedly.
Elise kind-of felt bad for him, "Want to ski with me? I promise to slow down a bit for you!" Dib looked considerably better.
"Thanks!"
Elise smiled, "I hope you like double black diamonds! To the lift!" They sped off to the lift. When they finally arrived at the top of the hill, Dib was so excited he could hardly stand it.
"Okay... we go down Runway, then Sky-rider, then we exit to the terrain park." Elise said, looking at the map.
"Ready... set... GO!" Dib shouted, but Elise had already left, "HEY! That's not fair!" He said as he hurried of after her.
**Ski School**
"I am INSULTED that you pitiful worms are not confident in my ability to slide down mountains!" Zim shouted as the ski instructor showed them the 'Pizza' ("PIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZA!" Squealed Gir,) technique.
Tak just shook her head, "Zim, do the world a favor, and shut the hell up."
"Yeah, Zim. You've never even skied before, and you probably die if you were skiing with Dib, Gaz, or Elise. Calm down!" Lard Nar explained.
"Zem, I'm just a ski instructor. If you want to be up on the slopes by yourself, you'll have to show me you can ski without plowing into a tree. Anyway, I think you're all ready to go on the green circle hill, "Infinity". Let's go!" They all followed the ski instructor to the chair lift.
"I WANNA GO ON THE BUNNEH!" Gir whined as they were going up. Red and Purple groaned.
When they got of at the top, Zim immediately waddled as fast as he could and shot down the slope.
"WAIT ZIM, YOU HAVE TO TURN OR YOU'LL GO TOO FAST!" Yelled the instructor but it was too late, Zim was already speeding down, not turning in the slightest.
"WOO-HOO!" yelled a young boy's voice from the higher up on the black diamond that it was connected with. Red looked up and saw Elise racing down, with Dib following. She slowed down and stopped next to them, accompanied by Dib.
"Wait a minute, this isn't the terrain park!" Elise said, pulling a map from her pocket, "Ugg, we took a wrong turn at Sky-Rider. Now we're on a stupid green circle."
"Dang." Dib said, then his eyes fund the green blob going down the slope, "Wait a minute... is that Zim?"
"Holy crap! If he hits something, he's dead!" She said, "SUPER-AUTHOR-POWERS ACTIVATE!" She said. Suddenly, small rockets appeared on the back of her boots and she raced forwards. It took only a fraction of a second to get there with her rocket-powered-ski-boots.
"ZIM, you're an idiot!" Elise shouted.
"ARGHHHH!"
The rockets suddenly ran out of fuel, and Zim sped ahead. Elise sighed, and time froze. Using her author-powers, she skied down to where Zim was, suspended in time. She removed his skis, and teleported them back to the others. Time resumed.
"ARGHH- Whaaaa?" Zim yelled, obviously confused.
Elise just shook her head, "Zim, you moron! You interrupted all of our skiing!" She said angrily.
"Wait... where's Gaz?" Dib asked.
"Van Helsing if I care." Elise said nonchalantly.
A purple jet of matter appeared in front of Dib, and effectively scared the crap out of him.
"Hi, Gaz!" Elise said, clearly hoping she didn't here that last comment.
"We have to leave, and we have to leave now." Gaz said without and emotion. Angry voices could be heard approaching quickly.
Elise pondered what Gaz could have done to get them that angry, "Perhaps you're right." She could she flames and the tops of pitchforks, now. Dib looked nervous and started to back away.
"GET THE PURPLE ONE!" The angry mob shouted. They all ran for their lives.
"What in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter did you do?" Elise shouted to Gaz as they ran.
"I pushed a bunch of toddlers off the 'T Bar', and hijacked the snow-mobile." Random mushroom-shaped explosions could be seen from where they were.
"Something tells me you had something to do with that." Gaz just shrugged.