Thanks again for all of your kind reviews and private messages. I'm both flattered and humbled by such praise. I'm really glad you are enjoying the story. Oh, and yes...House will get his turn at being worshipped soon enough. Cuddy is expressing her feelings with words right now. House isn't too comfortable with that yet so he is expressing his feelings in his own way. That may change soon...

H H H H H H H H

They lay curled up on the couch together emotionally exhausted. House had his eyes closed, but she knew he was still awake by the way his fingers continued to caress her back. It would be so easy to fall asleep in his arms; his touch was hypnotic. But she couldn't. She knew he was processing, still struggling with the intensity of the emotions he'd just shared. She needed to give him space to think, but not so much space that he could erect his walls again. On the other hand, she needed to make something very clear to him while he was still open to listening.

"House," she said, and propped her chin on the hand resting on his chest so that she could look at his face. He didn't open his eyes, but responded with a grunted "huh". "You do know that every time you have let your guard down with me, those were the times I felt the most sure of what I wanted, the most confident and fearless in our relationship." She waited for a response, but there was only silence. So, she continued. "Whenever you drop your shields and let me behind those walls of yours, I've always seen you as a strong man, never weak or unworthy, never lacking in any way."

"I need to get up," he said, and gently pushed her aside to pull himself up and around her. "My leg hurts."

She watched him limp down the hall and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Was he shutting her out? Was all this for nothing? Did he hear her at all? God, he was frustrating. But she had come prepared for the long haul if that's what it took, so she stood up, retrieved her bag and headed for the bedroom. She'd wait for him in bed.

When House entered the bedroom, Cuddy had already changed into her gown and was waiting for him beneath the covers. The lamp beside the bed bathed the room in a soft glow, but she could clearly see his smirk as he looked at her.

"Presumptuous."

"Persistent," she corrected.

"Should I get naked so you can have your wicked way with me while you plunder the depths of my dark soul?"

He was mocking them. Surely that was a good sign.

"I'll get the handcuffs."

"At last!" He looked up and offered a thank you to God as he changed out of his jeans. "We can do the blind fold and whip, too."

"And the gag."

"Hey!" He whined. "You'd miss my mouth."

"I'd miss your tongue."

"Dr. Cunnilingus at your service," he leered at her as he crawled into bed, but then reached over her to turn the light out, bathing them in darkness.

"I hate that word," Cuddy said. "It sounds like someone's coughing up a hairball. At least Fellatio rolls of the tongue."

"Not with everyone," House argued. "It takes true talent you know? That's why the ancient Greeks called it playing the flute. It takes skill and talent and a …"

"I've never heard you complain," Cuddy interrupted with a frown.

"And you NEVER will." And he rolled over on his side with his back to her.

Cuddy stared at him. What was he doing? It didn't feel like his shields were up as he teased her, it didn't seem like he was shutting her out, either. And yet she didn't know what to think. It's not that she expected them to have sex tonight. She didn't expect anything. Or did she? Maybe she was still coming into this with expectations and demands? Is that why she was feeling so forlorn? He hadn't responded, and so her feelings were hurt. Cuddy suddenly felt angry with herself. She was disappointed because he hadn't responded how she wanted and it made her nervous, which made her want to take control again. What was wrong with her?

She drew closer to him and draped her arm around him as she curled up around his body. "Thank you," she said.

"For what?" He took his hand in hers and cupped it to his chest, intertwining their fingers.

"Letting me stay," she answered honestly. "It means everything to me." She didn't want to take it for granted. He could have kicked her out, shut her down and closed her out, never giving them a chance. She would have deserved it after leaving him the way she did. But there was something that remained between them. It couldn't be denied, or ignored. They could fight it and run from it, but it would never go away. Somehow she completely understood that now. "I want to be with you, in spite of every thing against us, in spite of when, or where, or why. Do you understand that? Did you ever understand that?"

House slowly and deliberately turned onto his back and pulled her into his arms. Her eyes widened slightly as he tilted her chin and brought his mouth to meet hers. They'd shared many kisses over the months, but there was something different about the way his lips worshipped her. He sipped at her, slowly enjoying the softness of her mouth, the way she made a tiny sound of happiness beneath his lips. His kiss held a promise she'd never felt from him.

The kiss ended, but he kept hold of her, using one hand to stroke her cheek while the other began that familiar caress down her spine. "I get it," he said. "I do get it." He held her in his arms as they settled into the silence. She understood he wasn't ready to say any more, but he wasn't hiding behind any walls, either. He was there with her, in the now, in the unknown, in the hope and fear. He was with her.

She felt safe enough to sleep.

H H H H H H H H

Cuddy heard the music even before she opened her eyes. It was the piano. She turned to look at the empty bed beside her before glancing at the clock that read 5:20 a.m. She frowned and got out of bed to seek House.

He was still wearing his boxers and t-shirt as his hands ran over the keys. He was breathtaking. There was just something so visceral about him as his lithe fingers created the melody. He was not only a part of the music, but completely immersed in feeling, in the emotion that seemed to flow freely from him to the piano and back again. That insidious internal battle seemed at rest and those angry demons that so often pursued him were conspicuously quiet. He wasn't overshadowed with intellect and analysis. He was just simply beautiful and breathtaking to watch.

She quietly walked over to the piano, not wanting to disturb him, but needing to be close to him. His head was tilted back and his eyes closed, and her eyes followed the line of his neck. She couldn't stop staring. In all the years she'd known him, this was the first time she'd seen this dimension of peace in him.

His eyes opened suddenly and Cuddy froze, afraid she'd destroyed the moment. House grinned slightly at her, but kept playing. She could almost feel the music in every cell of her body. It accentuated her natural reaction to his ravenous eyes slowly exploring her body.

Cuddy softly smiled, thinking this moment felt surreal and perfect. She instinctively and carefully climbed onto the piano, propping her head on her hand as she spread out before him. House seemed to follow the line of her gown against the piano, appreciating the contrast of the white satin-like material against the black lacquer. She felt caressed by the vibrations beneath her body and the way his eyes continued to move along the line of her curves. An internal heat spread beneath her skin, and she unconsciously began to run her hand along her chest.

His eyes were on her hand and her breathing became shallow at his hungry expression. Her fingers slid between her breasts and down the center of her abdomen to veer off at her hips and slowly return to her breast. As her index finger circled the nipple, Cuddy couldn't help but bask in the eroticism of the moment. She cupped her breast and closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of her body and the sound of the music around her. Even through the sensual haze, she recognized the tune. The message went straight to her heart and Cuddy thought she'd never felt so aware of her need for him.

She sat up and slid toward him, her gown sliding up her thighs as she opened her thighs to his view. His pupils dilated as he gazed at her. With a boldness that would make her blush under different circumstances, she began to sing as he played.

"Making love with you has left me peaceful warm inside. What more could I ask, there's nothing left to be desired…" Her fingers ran between her folds as she watched him, letting him know she'd received the message and felt the same. "Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you…all I need…" House stopped playing and grabbed her thighs, smoothly pulling her to the edge as he stood. His mouth captured hers in a kiss that claimed. His hands came around to grasp her rear and pull her against him. He groaned from somewhere deep inside his chest.

Pulling her tightly into his arms, he shifted them both until he pulled her down onto his lap as he sat back down on the bench. Her body crashed against the keys creating a cacophonous tune that almost reflected the explosive passion encompassing them. His lips traveled along her jaw and down her neck to her clavicle, leaving nips and kisses along the path. He grabbed the material of her gown and quickly pulled it over her head. Cuddy felt intensely female and allowed that power to flow through her as she ran her hands through his hair and down his back. She was writhing against him, becoming more aware of the force of his erection between her legs with every move. He suddenly grabbed her arms and pushed them behind her, pressing them down against the keys of the piano. The sound was so loud she almost missed his whispered "beautiful" as he stared at her breasts. She was completely opened before him, arms and legs stretched wide.

He took one of her nipples in his mouth as his palm surrounded the other, gently kneading and teasing. His tongue laved her breast even as his lips gripped the tip and tugged, bringing to life every nerve ending. It was as if there was an electric current that ran from her nipple to her clit and her body jerked in response. Her spine bowed pushing her body toward him. House almost growled.

Cuddy brought one of her hands down between them, her fingers sliding along a portion of his shaft as her thumb grazed her clit. House jerked back to look directly in her eyes as he abruptly pulled her up to move beneath her, then pushed her down onto him. She cried out as he filled her, her interior muscles gripping him. Cuddy leaned back to find a better angle and took him deeper into her body. Her hips ground forward, then quickly found a rhythm with his strokes. Her hands and body against the keys of the piano provided a harmonic counterpoint to their passion. Short, heavy gasps alternated with long, exhilarated moans. He was trembling; she was shaking as they came close to the edge. She urged him to push harder as she tightened further around him and cried out in her orgasm. The sound of her release and the feel of her so fully shuddering around him drove him over the edge. His head fell back and a look of complete bliss came over him.

"House," she whispered, and drew him toward her again. She urged his tongue into her mouth and savored the flavor of him. He held on to her as their bodies regained equilibrium and their breathing returned to normal. When she tried to shift her weight off him, he pulled her back to him.

"Stay," he asked.

And she did. She didn't want to be anywhere else. So, she held him tight, snuggling against him. Though his erection had diminished, he remained inside her. Cuddy felt her walls grip him tighter as they embraced.

"I don't want to screw this up," he suddenly said and Cuddy held her breath. "You were right. I think I unconsciously knew what I was doing would bother you…that I was making mistakes and driving you away. I know the things you like and don't like. It's not as if I couldn't figure it out."

Cuddy didn't pull back to look at him, but remained very still as he opened up to her.

"I thought I was being a good boyfriend," he continued. "I thought if I just let you control things, if I just let you lead the way, it would be okay. My mistakes wouldn't blow up in my face." He paused for breath and shrugged his shoulders. "It worked for Lucas."

Cuddy jerked as if she'd been slapped. She pushed back to look at him, but he averted his eyes. "You chose to be with him," he shook his head. "Almost a year, and nothing he did would change that. He lied and cheated, he pulled all kinds of shit on me and Wilson…But nothing he did drove you away. You always forgave him."

Her eyes had filled with water as he spoke. Oh, God! Why had she never pieced this together? She took a deep breath and reached a hand up to caress his jaw. "House," she said, and gently urged him to look at her.

Their eyes met and she felt her heart break at the pain she saw. She held his gaze before continuing.

"You scared me," she said, and he frowned. He obviously hadn't expected that. "You broke down in my office. You hallucinated and completely broke apart because of me, because you cared about me. You spent all that time in Mayfield and all I could think was that it was my fault. I should have known. I should have seen something. I should have stopped it. I should have been there for you."

He tilted his head. "Now that is narcissistic," he mocked her. "There were a lot of circumstances that led to that breakdown: primarily an excessive amount of vicodin."

"I know that," she said. "I know it wasn't logical. I knew it then, but I couldn't stop the feelings." Cuddy brought her hands to his biceps and nervously rubbed up and down. "And then you came back, and you seemed so out-of-sorts. You were struggling to find your footing and I didn't want to be the reason you fell again. But you were clean and trying so hard and I wanted to be with you." Cuddy looked down, feeling more than a little ashamed at her memories, at her admission. "Lucas and I had gone out a couple of times and I knew he wanted more. He was good with Rachel and…he was safe."

"You knew he wouldn't go crazy on you," House finished for her.

"No! That wasn't it," she said. "Lucas made sense on paper." When House lifted his brow in exaggerated disbelief, she almost laughed. "I'm screwed up, House. And I've been in love with you – the most screwed up man in the world - for so long. I thought if I tried a relationship with someone who did all the right things, who helped ease the load and helped with Rachel, and emotionally supported me, maybe I could learn to be normal. Maybe if I could find a way to settle for a comfortable relationship, I could somehow save you."

She couldn't tell if House was shocked or processing, but she decided to plow forward and explain everything. "You didn't make it easy," she said. "I'm not supposed to like all your sexual comments and stupid games. I'm not supposed to get butterflies when you bury a compliment in one of your insulting metaphors. I'm not supposed to look forward to the next time you burst through my door with some crazy request. I'm supposed to like stability, and kindness, and someone who actually makes life easier. I'm not supposed to want a man like you. So, I kept trying to push you away, but you were…you. You were amazing. And every time I felt those feelings for you come up, I'd go home and try harder to fall in love with Lucas. Because, if I could just learn to love him, I'd be able to save us."

"You were going to marry him."

"Yes, I was." She answered honestly with a great deal of sadness. "I was an idiot."

Cuddy noticed his face had taken on an odd expression as she spoke. His hand came up to her face and he ran his knuckles along her jaw. He softly kissed her then pulled her close to him again in a warm embrace. "I'm sorry," he whispered close to her ear. Cuddy melted in his arms. "I never wanted to scare you. I never meant to hurt you."

With a sigh, Cuddy returned the hug. "I know," she said, and kissed his neck.

"I convinced myself that being with you would make everything better," he said, and adjusted his hips beneath her. Cuddy slipped off his lap and came to sit beside him on the piano bench. She took his hand in hers and leaned her head against his shoulder as they sat quietly.

"House?" Cuddy was the first to break the silence.

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry I never told you how proud I was of you," she said, then corrected herself. "How proud I am of you."

House was very still and very quiet. Cuddy was finally starting to understand she shouldn't anticipate immediate reactions from him. This pain, mistrust and confusion had been brewing for years. Their issues would not be resolved quickly. The fact that he was listening and actually heard her was enough for now. When he was ready to talk more, he would. It was hard to not force the conversation, not control the conversation, but she followed his lead. She just focused on this moment with him, and felt a strange peace in doing so.

"You're naked," he suddenly said. Cuddy grinned.

"Do you have any idea how may times I have fantasized about you naked at my piano?"

Cuddy chuckled. He turned to her and kissed the top of her head, and she felt warm in spite of the chill in the room against her naked skin.

"Is it all you hoped for?"

"Nope."

House stood and pulled her up with him, turning her to lift and position her back on top of the piano. He spread her thighs and let his gaze rest between her thighs. "Dr. Cunnilingus needs to perform a thorough exam."

Cuddy laughed…until his mouth came down on her. Then she could hardly breathe.