The German language needs to combine forces with the English language to create a stronger word than random. Just simple "random" won't even be enough to begin to describe how strange Germany is being. Seriously, how much is he getting paid for act like this?
The amount has to be big. Like needs another paper to write all those zeros big. No, wait it has to be bigger than that. My brother is all about being serious and keeping a serious face; they have to be paying him an amount that's so big that it needs to be written out in scientific notation.
The amount of money has to be really big, because I really don't think anybody, as serious as West, would randomly decide to eat nachos at a karaoke bar. Then randomly decide to get an extreme haircut just to impress some random chicks at a karaoke bar. Then randomly decide not to get that haircut. Then randomly decide to run all the way to a karaoke bar. Then randomly decide to quit running a feed some randomly placed ducks with some random bread that's randomly being carried around. Who carries bread around in their pocket anyway? And where the hell did all these ducks come from?
"I'm going to call you Captain Webby Feet!" West squealed as he handed one of the ducks another piece of bread. "And you are going to be General Taste-Better-Roasted!"
Damn, my little brothers naming skills suck. I would have given those two ducks a much more awesome sounding name. Something completely awesome like Junior Prussia or Prussia Junior or…
What the hell am I thinking? Why would I even consider naming a freaking duck after my awesome self? They don't deserve to be named after my awesomeness.
"But the one little duck with the feather on his back- He led the others with a quack, quack, quack!" Germany sang handing over more random bread to the ducks. "That's you Captain Webby Feet! You're the one little duck that leads the others with a quack, quack, quack!"
"You're being a overachiever. I don't think the unawesome loser, who set up this prank, is paying you to sing."
"Wibble wobble, wibble wobble to and fro," West sang ignoring me. "But the one little duck with the feather on his back- He led the others with a quack, quack, quack!"
Yeah, something is really wrong with my brother. And where is he getting all that bread? Its like his pockets are black hole to a never ending supply of bread. I think that's the fourth piece of bread he's pulled out of his pockets.
"Quack, quack, quack! Quack, quack, quack!" Germany sang while dancing in some duck version of the chicken dance. "Ah, don't look at me like that, General Taste-Better-Roasted. You'll get a song too-"
"Why are you singing to freaking ducks?" I ask as West stops dancing.
"Didn't you learn your rudiments, silly?"
"Huh?" What the hell is a rudiment?
"Singing to ducks makes them stronger. The duck is the only animal in the animal kingdom that can digest living blubber, and the stronger the duck the more blubber it can eat. And the more living blubber the duck eats the safer the world is for underage drivers."
Living fat of sea mammals? Did I hear him right? "Seriously how much is this unawesome loser paying you? I don't think you can even find an explanation that dumb sounding on Wikipedia."
"Ha, you know I prefer decaf," West said laughing. "Anyway, would you like to sing a song to General Taste-Better-Roasted with me?"
"No." Is he really asking me to waste some of my awesome talent on giving a stupid duck a private concert?
"Why not? Captain Webby Feet got an awesome song and General Taste-Better-Roasted feels really jealous. So, I need your help to top Captain Webby Feet's song!"
"West, it's just a stupid duck-"
"You really didn't learn your rudiments," Germany spat cutting me off, and losing his out of character cheery smile.
"What does that have to do with anything?" And what the hell is a rudiment?
"If you would have learned your rudiments better, then you wouldn't have called Captain Webby Feet and General Taste-Better-Roasted stupid. Now apologize to my duckling friends."
"Are you, seriously, commanding me to apologize to a couple of stupid ducks?"
Oh shit, now he's giving me his deluxe "if you don't give me what I want I'll burn you alive" death stare. God, I can't take that stare. Last time I saw it I woke up the next day half naked in Denny's parking lot-
Shit, the death stare just got turned up a notch. God, if I don't apologize to that stupid duck, I might find myself half naked in another Denny's parking lot. Or worse I might find myself half naked, with my pants missing rather than my shirt, in an airport parking lot. Oh god, that would be terrible-
Major shit, the death stare is increasing in even more notches. That's not good. God, if I don't apologize to that duck, then I'm going to find myself completely naked in a dumpster tomorrow.
"Uh, Captain Tasted-Better-Roasted…" I can't believe I'm really doing this. "I'm so so sorry that I-"
"Bazinga!" West laughed, cutting off my insane stuttering. "LOL. I totally had you going! You should have seen your face! It was priceless!"
What just happened here? Seriously, what just happened here? One second he's angry and commanding me to apologize to stupid ducks and the next he's laughing and saying "bazinga". What the hell is "bazinga"?
"Dude you're killing me! Seriously, stop making that face! I think I'm going to die of laugher!" Germany laughed slapping his knee.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Damn, I really should carry a camera around like Hungary and Japan. Your face was just priceless!" Germany crackled harder as the random ducks flew away.
Was that the prank? I don't think it was, because it was just too stupid. Yeah, any prank not designed by me is stupid, but this one was just too stupid. I don't think that was the prank.
"Come on, bro, let's get back to our nacho adventure!"
Yeah, this prank isn't over yet. My guard isn't going to go down. My awesomeness is going to expose this prank in the most awesome way ever. And the unawesome is going to look even more unawesome.
A/N
Bazinga - is a word that came form the American television show "The Big Bang Theory." It means fooled you.
Rudiments – are the basic elementary school principals.
And as always, reviews are not necessary but they make me smile and motivate me to write more. Oh, and if my dyslexia made a mistake please bring it to my attention. Thanks!