Chapter 4
JPOV
It felt like taking a bullet when I walked into the room. Her scent still clung to every surface. I sat on the bed we made love in every night. I placed my hand over the spot where she would normally lay. If I used my imagination it was like she was still with me. Though I held her picture in my hand I didn't need it. Every detail of Alice was implanted in my head. I couldn't forget anything if I tried, and believe me, I tried. She was permanently sketched into my brain for the rest of forever. Lucky me.
This room might have had my clothes in the closet but it was her room. Hell those weren't even my clothes. She shopped for me because I couldn't look decent enough next to her in the clothes I normally wore. I let her push me around more than I should have all because I loved her. It was a love that wasn't even returned. She never let me have any say so in anything that made me happy. She didn't even allow me to hang any of my paintings on the wall. She thought they were ugly and she didn't want to spend all eternity looking at them. About two decade ago I stopped with my artwork all together because it took time away from holding her bags as she shopped. Even now that I saw how blind I was I still loved her, how pathetic?
I dropped the picture frame back to the pink bedside table. I didn't miss her though, on my good days. In reality though my good days were when I was too focused on something else to think about her. My good days were when I was comforting Bella, which was usually her bad day. Now that I thought about it that was really horrible to think about it that way. I was practically using her avoid grieving the death of my relationship with Alice.
Of course she was grieving her own relationship as well. I never told Bella, and I probably never would but Edward had lied to her. I felt his emotions and never once had I felt love toward. Yes he had liked her a lot but never loved her. She was someone he could relate to when it came to his interest. Of course her blood had been especially appealing to him. He was using her to test himself. If he could stay around her then he could work inside a hospital with Carlisle.
There was also another reason which was quite pathetic. As a vampire Edward had never kissed a girl or even touched them in a sexual way. Of course I highly doubted he ever had the courage to get anywhere with Bella considering how frustrated he always was. It amazed me that he was still a virgin. Even more amazing that he had planned to lose it to Bella until he realized he would probably kill her. Edward was just far too inadequate to handle a woman, especially Bella.
Bella was such a great girl. My short stay with her made me see her in a different light. Before she was just the bag of blood that Edward was curious about and Alice liked to play with to pass the time. Now she was my best friend that I could talk to and pretend to be normal with. She never judged me for my lack of control, even after I fed from her. I breathed in deeply. I had thought her smell was magnificent but her taste was absolutely indescribably amazing. I hadn't wanted to stop and neither had she. Her happiness and willingness for death is what snapped me out of it. I told her I would not let her die prematurely and I meant it.
I hadn't expected her to keep a razor blade in her phone. I was beginning to see she was worse off than I thought. I should have watched her better. I knew I should be with her now but I didn't smell any free flowing blood. I could hear her mumbling slightly and knew she was asleep. There was only a matter of time before the nightmares came. It was horrible to listen to. I would do anything to stop her from having them. Every time she woke up from them she looked terrified and miserable. I might have thought of Edward as a brother once upon a time but I never would again. If we ever crossed paths again he would be dead before he turned to ash.
It was his fault Bella was in danger in the first place. If he wouldn't have gotten involved with her she would be safe and Charlie would have been alive. Even with that being the case, I was glad Bella was in my life. She was incredibly smart for a human, wise for her age. She was interested in literature as I was, the same as history and a wide selection in music and movies. She was just so full of life and curiosity. She was unbelievably beautiful…
What?
I had no idea why I had just thought that about my best friend. I mean yes she was beautiful, gorgeous even. I think what was what got me is that she didn't even know how attractive she was. Especially when her cheeks flushed so delicately…
Bella's high pitch scream had me running to her before it was even completely out of her mouth. "Hey it's alright Bella." I crawled in next to her and wrapped her around my arms. Her screams lessened to low whimpers. She was quivering in my arms, from terror and not being cold. I decided to wake her so she wouldn't have to suffer. "Come on Bella. I'm here. Wake up."
Her bloodshot eyes slowly blinked opened. When she saw me she clung to me and buried her face in my chest. She was sobbing terribly and mumbling something about Charlie. It made my heart ache to feel her in so much pain. It had never dulled since we found his body. I wasn't sure she would ever recover. I, a centuries old vampire, was afraid. Everything was against me in keeping her alive, including her. If I didn't watch her closely she could cut too deep in her wrist. It wasn't like I could take her to the hospital and the paramedic would take forever. For a moment I thought about turning her. She would be even more beautiful as a vampire. I knew I could trust her with everything and she would never pretend to care. It would really make me happy to spend eternity with my best friend…
No, I don't think Bella would want that. She would probably be furious with me just for considering it. Vampires ruined her life why would she want to become one. When she was dead though I wasn't sure what I would do. I didn't have a family now. I could stay with Pater and Charlotte for awhile but I wouldn't want to impose. Plus their feeding habits might cause me to slip up. When her life was over mine would be too. I never realized how Alice had given so much to me. I wish I had realized it was only temporary. Maybe then I would have tried harder to make the few vampires we came across like me. Maybe then I would have a place where I belonged.
Bella's heart rate slowed as she began to calm down. Her faced was flushed and her cheeks were wet. I gently took a corner of her blanket and gently wiped her face clean. When I was finished she curled back into my chest and sighed. Her warm breath flowed though me. Her warmth was defiantly pleasant. Being as old as I am I have gotten used to being cold all of the time but that didn't mean I had to like it. She felt like fire against me and I loved every second of it.
I once had a dog a few decades ago for this very reason. He was a black and brown German Sheppard. I rescued him from the animal shelter before they could put him down. He had bit a person so his owner got rid of him. I felt as though I could relate to him. Making one mistake could be hung over your head your whole life. It was unfair but nothing in life was. I liked him even more because he didn't growl at me, not once. All of the other dogs panicked when I came into the place but not him.
I decided on naming him Eros, after the Greek God of love. Even then Alice and I were having troubles and I thought he would be a good omen. Unfortunately I was wrong. After only having him around for three months Alice ate him. She had told me when she had took him on a walk he had stumbled into a bear trap before she could stop him and the blood was too much for her.
Now that I thought about it she hadn't seemed all that sincere in her apology. Hell she had practically skipped around the house afterword. She had never liked Eros for many reasons. It seemed whenever she said anything about him it was a complaint. He drooled too much and it got on one of her outfits. He was breathing too loud for her to concentrate on her hair. He made too much noise when he ran around the house. He watched us when we had our "alone" time. He followed her around or he followed me around too much. He stared at her when she was shopping on the internet. He ate too much. He was too messy. He peed on her shoes when I didn't take him outside when he wanted me to. The complaints could go on forever.
I missed Eros.
I ran my hand through Bella's hair. I hated to admit it but every time I held Bella, part of my mind was on how fantastic she smelled. I could still taste her on my tongue. Never before had I tasted something so amazing before. It still confused me that I was able to stop when I drank from her. I was lucky I hadn't bit her. I wasn't sure if she would have survived if I had to suck the venom out.
Bella was staring up at me with her brown eyes. I wondered how long that had been going on. I guess I kind of spaced out for a second. She wasn't crying anymore, thankfully. She was still incredibly upset. I twirled a thin piece of her hair and stared back. I wanted to do something to change how she felt but I didn't know how to, other than influence her. Even then, she could stop me from using them on her. She was the first that could do that. She was also the first the force her emotions on me. I wanted to call Carlisle to ask what thus all meant but he was no longer my "father" so I had no right to ask him anything.
"You're giving me your emotions, why?" she asked softly. I hadn't expected those to be the first word out of her mouth but I shouldn't have been surprised. She had this odd tendency to worry about everyone else instead of herself. I wasn't sure there was a selfish bone in her body.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't aware of it."
"It's okay but what's wrong? You are incredibly sad. Do you miss Alice again?" I nodded since she was the one to put me in a bad mood in the first place. "What can I do to make it lessen?
"What you're doing now is fine."
"I'm not doing anything," she said confused.
"Just being my friend does everything." I hugged her tighter, careful not to hurt her fragile frame.
She smiled up at me, it barely reached her eyes. "I'm glad I can help then."
There was a buzzing noise that started. I looked around searching for the reason of the noise. Bella's cell phone was behind her. It was inconsiderate for all of those people to keep calling her. She needed to grieve right now and how was she supposed to do that when they all wouldn't leave her alone. Most of those people weren't even her real friends. They just pretended to be for the attention. Well the females did. The males just wanted to get in her pants which I would never let happen. Bella was better than those underclass no mannered bums.
I reached behind her and grabbed her phone. It was Mike Newton. "May I answer it," I asked Bella. When she nodded I slid it open and pressed the speaker button. "Hello?" I wouldn't say my tone was impolite. I believe it was appropriate for someone who had just seen a dead body.
"Uh…" Mike sounded confused that a man was answering instead of Bella. "Jasper," he asked uncertainly.
"Yes. Is there something you wanted?" Bella was staring at me curiously. She was softly nibbling on her lip, which she did often, usually when she was nervous. I didn't even have to be an empath to understand how Bella felt all of the time. I could read her like a book.
"Um well I just wanted to talk to her. I heard about her dad and…"
I interrupted him. "Bella is still quite upset from her loss and won't be taking any phone calls any time soon nor will she be in school."
"Oh…Is she still at home. I want to stop by I'm sure she wants to see me." Bella scrunched her nose up delicately at his words. I knew Newton was lying because Bella didn't like him. She had told me how he always made advances on her and wouldn't back off even though she clearly wasn't interested. I would make him see that Bella wouldn't lower her standards.
"No she is staying with me. I didn't want her to be alone."
"Oh well…I guess that makes sense. You have plenty of room in the mansion for her." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Still I would like to talk to her if you don't mind."
"Actually I do mind. She is curled up in my arms crying her eyes out and the last thing she needs to do is talk to a guy who will only use her weakness to try to have sex with her."
Bella's face immediately flared up. I could hear Mike sputtering on the other line. "I would never do that!"
"Sure Mike. Bella and I would like to go back to bed now if you don't mind. If she wants to call you back, which is highly unlikely, she will do so when she is feeling better."
"Oh I'm the one using her weaknesses but she's sleeping in your bed! Yeah that's convenient. You're just as bad as Edward." With that the phone clicked off.
I stared at it for a moment before shutting it. I hadn't made the connection what I said until it was too late. Newton would certainly spread around Forks that Bella and I were sleeping together. I should have thought before I spoke. I was trying to help her but instead I make everything worse. I should have just let it go. By how stiff she was in my arms I could tell she was upset. I felt horrible.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make things worse. I wasn't thinking." I tried to hide the panic in my voice but I was sure she heard it. She was very observant.
"Calm down Jazz, I'm not mad at you. People will just think we're together now but it doesn't matter. Graduation is a few weeks away…"She suddenly had a loss look in her eye. "Charlie won't be able to see me graduate. He had been so excited about it. He bought a brand new camera. I heard him talking to Billy after dinner, telling him how proud he was of me… Now he won't even get to see."
"I'll kill her slowly," I promised.
She looked up at me with determined eyes. "Please do. I want her to suffer the way Charlie did." I had never seen Bella so angry before, I liked it.
"She will. She doesn't stand a chance against me."
Bella sighed. "Jazz…"
"What?"
"I need to cut," she said slowly. She was humiliated and ashamed but above all she was desperate.
"I'm sorry but you I can't let you do that."
"I won't try to kill myself, I promise. I just need a small cut before I freaking snap. Please Jasper. Do this one thing for me."
That was unfair. She was looking up at me with those big brown eyes, pleading with me. I would have given in if it were anything other than this.
"Hurting yourself is not the answer Bella."
"But I need to!" Her breathing was becoming shallow. She felt like she was suffocating.
I ran my fingers through her hair, calming her as much as she would let me. I had never known anyone that intentionally hurt themselves. I was at a loss on how to protect her from herself. I noticed her fingers were digging into her arms. I wasn't sure she even realized she was doing it. I grabbed her hands and held them.
"Think about Renee," I tried weakly. "Think about how she would feel if she knew."
"She'll never know she can't!" She seemed very upset that I would even think about it. I was really horrible at being a friend. I drank her blood, let a vampire kill her father, made people think we were having sex, and made her feel worse when I was trying to comfort her. This was why nobody liked me; I always screwed stuff up.
"I'm sorry." I buried my head in the pillow.
"Don't say that. It's not your fault. Besides you have your own issues to deal with too. I'm just screwed up right now. I…I need to get things ready and planned. Did I tell you what I was thinking? I don't believe I did. Did I? I don't know. Would you like to hear anyway," she said so quickly her words kind of blurred.
I peaked over at her. I was confused by her sudden mood change. It never ceaseed to amaze me how one moment she could be fully in control then the next total breakdown. I preferred the Bella that always had a breakdown. She needed to get the pain out and not just bottle it up. She had to take those pills for reason. I just hoped they would help her instead of make her worse like the internet says.
"No Bella you have not told me your plan."
"Okay well Renee will be her tomorrow so I was thinking the wake could be Friday and the funeral could be on Saturday. Is that waiting too long? I really want Renee to be there so I was hoping it could wait to then. Do you think they will allow me to do that?"
"If anyone has a problem with anything you want I will handle it. Before we left I grabbed Charlie's paperwork. Most people his age don't plan for death but I suppose because he was a police officer he was extra cautious. He already had a casket picked out and purchased, the same as the plot in Forks Cemetery. Things are taken care of for the most part Bella."
She suddenly looked nervous, biting her lip. "Would you mind if I had the wake here? It's okay if it's not. I don't want to force all of those humans on you it's just that the house is really big. It just seemed like a good idea because I have no idea where to have it but I could probably fine somewhere else…"
I placed my hand over her mouth. She was so uncertain and overwhelmed. It was ridiculous for her to think I would tell her no on this. It was partially my fault he was dead but even if I didn't feel obligated I would do this for her anyway. Best friend and all.
"You can have it here and I promise I won't attack any of your friends."
She smiled before it faded. "I need to go to the store for groceries."
I frowned. "There is still food in there for you to eat." Wasn't there? I could have sworn there were.
"Yeah but at wakes people have dinner which means I need to go supplies to make something good enough."
"Oh, well make a list and I'll go get it for you."
"No that's okay. I'm feeling kind of suffocated. I need to get out."
Irrational or not I couldn't stop the way my body reacted. I blinked back tears even though I knew they would never flow. My dead heart throbbed painfully in my chest.
"Jazz? What's wrong?"
I just shook my head, not sure if I could even speak right now. I wish I could control how I was behaving right now but I could not. I wanted to blame it on her emotions rubbing off on me but her dominant emotion now was concern.
"I am sorry. I didn't mean to," I said as I jumped from the bed at vampire speed.
"You didn't mean to what Jasper?" she asked sitting up before she gasped. "Oh Jazz I didn't mean you were suffocating me. Please come back over here." She held her hand out to me. I wanted to go back but I couldn't think straight. My head was just filled with images of Alice. What if Bella was just pretending to be my friend but then later throw me to the curb? I couldn't take that a second time. I was trying to stay strong for her but I was like a child. Alice had seriously damaged me. I didn't think simple little words could set me off like this but now I knew to be on guard. I wasn't going to be hurt again.
"Jazz," Bella called lightly. I loved/hated that nickname. I loved the way Bella said it. She made it sound special and confident. I hated it when Alice said it. She usually only used it when she was angry or she wanted something, so she rarely called me Jasper.
"I am sorry," I told her for the millionth time. I could feel it was irritating her. "Alice always told me I suffocated her," I explained.
"I should have remembered Jazz. I'm so sorry." She crawled over to the side of the bed where I was standing and threw her arms around me. "I would never say that to you. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to hurt you." I was suddenly feeling completely at ease.
"How the hell do you keep using my abilities?"
"I just go with the flow of things," she said vaguely. It didn't matter though. She wasn't talking about hurting herself anymore so it was okay. "Let's go to the store together okay? I just want to get out of the house for awhile, too many memories. Though," her eyes traced across the room. "I've never been in here before. It's really beautiful."
"While we are in Forks you can stay in here. This room used to be where I drew but Alice didn't want me to so I stopped. The room is a bit feminine anyway."
"I fucking hate Alice," she mumbled probably thinking I wouldn't here. I swear sometimes she forgot I was a vampire. "You never told me you drew," she accused.
"Well they aren't very good I suppose."
"Can I see something drew?"
"Um…" I didn't want to tell her no because that would be rude but if nobody in the family liked them Bella probably wouldn't either. Unlike many her age, she appreciated art. She would probably think of me foolish to believe I tried to create art. If I were humans my cheeks would have flushed in embarrassment. "When we get back from the store I will show you."
She squeezed me tighter before letting me go all together. I watched her pull on her shoes before realizing it was late, almost 8. She hadn't really slept much at all and I knew she was still tired.
"Are you sure you don't want to just wait until tomorrow to get everything?"
She shook her head. "I want to have it all before Renee gets here. The wake will be the day after and there is still so much to do."
"Bella he's only been gone for a little more than 24 hours." I side word the word dead, not knowing how it would affect her. "No one would blame you for putting it off a little longer."
"No people do this all the time so I can too. I'm fine Jasper, really."
I knew that was lie but none the less I followed her to the garage. I didn't own a vehicle. The last one I had Emmett crushed it when we were fighting. I never got around to replacing it. The family probably wouldn't have appreciated us using the cars they left behind so I went to the one no one ever used. I tugged the black cover off of it revealing the Mustang Cobra GT. It had always been my favorite though I never drove it before. It was shiny silver with blue racing stripes. It could get up to 180 mph and was as silent as a panther. It was the best car ever. Bella seemed to agree with me.
"Wow. Is this your car?"
"No but I don't have one. I hope they won't mind too much that I used it." I sighed contently as I got in and started the engine. Bella was amused by my reaction. She mumbled something about guys and cars. I didn't mind though. The smile on her face, even if it was small, was enough to make me happy. I could feel all the pain that was buried inside of her but she was better than she was yesterday and that was progress.
As we drove Bella got hot but instead of turning the air on she lowered the window. Her hair whipped all around her face but she didn't seem to mind. I was honestly surprised she hadn't said anything about the speed; I mean I kept it under 100 but I was still doing 80. Edward always complained about how she would never let him drive fast. Of course Edward always complained about the littlest things.
"What are you staring at?" Bella's words pulled me from my thoughts. I hadn't even realized I was staring at her so I just shrugged. "Well not all of us have the advantage of being indestructible so unless you want to be scraping me off the road you should pay more attention."
It bothered me how easily she spoke of herself dying. It wouldn't mean anything to her if she died tomorrow. I hoped with everything in me that once we left this town she would get along better. If not, I wasn't sure what I would do.
"Jasper? Road's that way."
I sighed and averted my eyes.
"What's wrong?" she asked with concern in her voice.
"Nothing is wrong." I tried to sound like I meant it but it was kind of hard when I didn't.
"I can feel you. You are apprehensive about something."
I let out a frustrated sigh. Ever since I came back to her I had seem to lose control over my abilities. Or maybe it was before that. The divorce from Alice probably made me unstable. Bella had been the first human I came in contact with since it happened. Well, except for when I slipped…
"My eyes are red," I said quickly. "I know they disturb you but imagine all of the other humans who see normal. If you could figure out we weren't human before Edward told you there is no telling what the rest of them could conclude."
She glared at me. "First off your eyes don't disturb me and secondly did you just call me stupid?"
My eyes widened in shock. Here I was again saying even more stupid nonsense. "No! That's not what I meant."
"That's what it sounded like." She crossed her arms across her chest.
"I just meant that they were aware of us longer than you since you had lived in Florida. They noticed how different we are before you came so they should have been able to figure it out…My eyes don't bother you?"
I haven't looked in the mirror since I fed from Bella. I had hunted many animals before I had come to her house. The color had faded slightly but since I drank more human blood they were really strikingly red.
"If Edward hadn't told me I probably wouldn't have guessed vampire. Jacob told me about that when I first moved down here. No, your eyes don't bother me. I kind of like it in a weird way. You pull it off way better than any of the Volturi."
"Jacob? Jacob Black?" I scowled at this, forgetting my eyes for the moment. I didn't like the thought of her being around all of those dogs. They were volatile and dangerous. I hadn't been around when the Cullens signed the treaty but I knew they broke it by telling Bella. I would have to have a talk with their leader. I was honestly surprised they hadn't come to me first since I came back. I knew they must be upset now that I came back.
"He used to be when we were kids. We made mud pies together. Our dads were best friends…" She teared up when she spoke of him in past tense. "Oh no! I never called Billy. I wonder if he knows. I hate that he would find out from a stranger. God why didn't I call him? They were best friends. I didn't call Harry either. Ugh!" She buried her face in her hands.
I eased the Mustang to the side of the road and pulled Bella into my arms. She cried silently into my shirt. "It's alright Bella. Things have been tough for you. Everything has fallen down around you. Nobody expects you to be able to handle everything. They will understand why you didn't call them right away. It only happened yesterday."
"No, no, it's not okay Jasper!" Her voice cracked. "I. Can't. Do. This." She sobbed.
I didn't say anything because I knew she needed to get this out. I just rubbed her back and restrained from flowering her with as much tranquility as she would accept. She had to feel this pain before she could get better. Her tears stopped twenty minutes later. She wiped her eyes as she pulled away from me. She had the usual redness she had whenever she cried. Now that her breakdown was over she was incredibly exhausted. She was slouched against her seat.
"Would you like to go back now?"
She shook her head and pulled out her cell. A gruff voice answered on the other end.
"Hey Billy, it's Bella." Her voice shook a little when she spoke.
"Hey, Bella. I heard about Charlie. I'm so sorry we couldn't have stopped it."
"How could you Billy? Charlie always left that door open. The wolf probably smelt food…"
"Bella," he said tiredly. "Let's not do this anymore. I know about vampires and you know about vampires. We both know a vampire did this."
Bella was surprised just as I was. I hadn't expected him to be so forward about it. From what I knew Bella didn't know about the werewolves which meant I would probably have to explain that.
"Billy…"
"We know one of the Cullens came back. Did he kill Charlie?"
"No," she seemed appalled that he would say that about me. "Jasper would never do that! It was Victoria. She is after me and she killed Charlie." She began to whisper toward the end. She took a deep breath to gather herself. "Billy you said we. Who are you talking about?"
"The werewolves," he said simply.
Bella was quiet for a moment. She was completely shocked for a moment before she slowly slipped to understanding. "The stories Jacob told me before. I only paid attention about the cold ones. I should have known that story would be true as well."
I gestured for her to give me the phone. We needed to have this taken care of.
She looked unsure for a moment but nodded. "Billy, Jasper wants to talk to you."
He sighed. "Alright. Put the bloodsucker on."
She flinched. "Be nice."
I took the phone from her and put it to my ear. My military days came flashing to my head, taking charge. "Hello Billy Black. This is Jasper Whitlock. I have returned to Forks, without the Cullens and I do not plan on them coming back here any time soon. Victoria killed Charlie before I could stop her and I was unable to hunt her down on my own. I think it would be best for us to reconstruct the treaty in order to keep Bella safe and to prevent any other casualties."
He took a moment to think about it before saying, "I will speak to Sam about it but until then is Bella safe with you? We can protect her on the reservation if you can't." I could hear in his voice that he would prefer Bella on their side of the line. That wasn't going to happen though. It was a struggle just to consider working with them. There was no chance of her being with them unprotected.
"No sir that will not be necessary. Bella is safe with me," I lied.
Bella held her hand out for the phone. She had been watching me since I took the phone from her. Unlike me, she couldn't hear the conversation. Vampire hearing was often helpful, especially when you are spying.
"Alright, if you are sure she is safe."
"I'm sure. Bella would like to speak with you again. Good day sir." I handed it back to her.
"Billy, the wake will be on Thursday. Could you possibly spread that around La Push? I don't know what time yet. I still haven't gotten that far yet."
"How are you doing Bella? All of the funeral stuff can be tough. Do you need any help with anything?"
"Thanks but I'm fine. My mom will be here tomorrow anyway. I can handle this, really." The two said their goodbyes and Bella turned to me. "Why didn't anyone tell me about werewolves? Who is Whitlock? What did you guys talk about?"
"Well the subject never came up, sorry. My real name is Jasper Whitlock. I only used Hale because I was supposed to be Rosalie's twin. After he talks to Sam, the alpha I suppose, I will have the answer to if they want to work together to get Victoria."
She frowned. "I thought you guys were like mortal enemies."
"Yes but I can deal with them if it means keeping you safe." She smiled and leaned back into her seat. "Are you ready to go back yet?"
"We have to go to the store Jazz."
"Yes but…"
"Jazz," she whined.
I easily gave in. I started the car and headed to the closest super market. We were greeted by an elderly lady when we entered. I kept my eyes down so I wouldn't startle her. I wasn't quite sure why she was there. I could smell it in her blood; she was sick, deadly so. I wondered how long it would take for whatever it was she had to kill her. I also wondered if she knew.
I pushed the metal cart for Bella as we walked through the small store. She walked closely to my side, randomly picking things from the shelf. I guess she thought about what she was cooking while we were in the car. I was trying to keep my focus on Bella but there was so much blood in the air. I didn't have to worry about the red eyes because I was sure they were black now. I shouldn't have been thirsty since I had just hunted and drank from Bella. They all smelled differently and they walked so close. It was as if they wanted to die.
"Bella!"
Dread immediately took over her emotions. I looked to where the annoyingly high pitched voice came from and saw Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory. I knew they were one of the people who pretended to be Bella's friends. I couldn't stand them before but now I hated them. They were always lusting over us when we came to Forks. Sometimes I wished we were ugly like the books wrote us to be so I could have a break from their hormones.
"Hi," Bella said. She didn't even bother faking a smile. I was glad to see she was no longer pretending any longer.
"I am like so sorry about your dad. A wolf, that's insane. You must be so upset," Jessica said. Her voice was incredibly annoying. I really hoped she wouldn't say much.
"Yes, I am," Bella said simply.
"Then what are you doing here? If it were my dad I would be at home grieving not with the guy I'm fucking."
Oh joy. It seems like they talked to Newton. I was going to step in but Bella seemed to be able to handle herself.
"Well guess what Lauren? This isn't happening to you! You didn't fucking walk into your house to see your father torn up! You have no idea how I grieved but if you must know I was asleep most of the time and when I wasn't sleeping I was crying. So sorry to disappoint you but I didn't have any time to fuck Jasper like you said. If you don't mind I would like to continue my shopping so I can have some fucking food to cook for my father's wake." Bella almost knocked her to the ground when she stormed passed her. I glared at the two girls as I followed Bella. When we were in a few isles away she wrapped her arms around my waist. I hugged her back.
"Are you okay?"
She nodded but said nothing.
"Are you ready to go home?"
She shook her head, staying silent.
"Would you like me to go eat them?" I tried.
A small giggle escaped her lips. "I wouldn't mind."
She pulled back and yawned. "Let's get the rest of the stuff you need and go get you some dinner ok?"
She accepted and went back to what seemed to me as randomly grabbing stuff off the shelves. Once she had enough to feed everyone we left. I took her to a small diner for dinner. All of the employees gave their condolences. Her eyes began to water half way through her meal. That was when she told me that she and Charlie used to eat their when she didn't feel like cooking. I felt terrible for not thinking of it but she assured me that it was okay. She finished her meal and we drove home. She fell asleep in the car so I carried her to her new bedroom. It took me a little long to put the groceries away since I had no idea where anything went. By the time I finished Bella was beginning to have nightmares. I ran up to her and laid next to her. She clung to me, instantly comforted, and fell back into a restless sleep.
AN: Maybe it was just me but I felt like this chapter wasn't all that great. The next one will be better for sure. Renee and Phil will be coming in that one. I loved all the reviews I got. So far my average is like 11 per chapter which makes me happy. Thank you to all of you that keep reading and reviewing.