Chapter Four- Dumb As a Troll
The next day, the rain was unrelenting. This was quite odd as the weather the previous day had shown no signs of clouds or rain, so none had expected the sudden downpour.
It didn't take long before all of us were thoroughly soaked along with our ponies. The awful smell of the wet ponies hung around us. When someone had complained of the smell, Thorin had said they were more than welcome to walk. No one said a word after that. Occasionally, a pony's hooves would get stuck in the thick mud and the whole company would have to stop to wait for it to be pulled out. This happened several times and each time it took several minutes for the hooves to be wrenched free.
Our nights were spent crammed into small caves that we found, trying to stay as dry as we could. There was no fire to dry us as all of the surrounding would was just as soaked as rain carried on and on, never seeming to let up. It was the third day of rain when one of the dwarves asked Gandalf if he could do anything about the rain.
"It is raining, Master Dori, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done." was Gandalf's reply.
The rain wasn't done for another two days. On the day that it finally did stop, it stopped as abruptly as it had started. The only sign that there had ever been rain was the still muddy ground. Nearing the end of the day, all of us had dried from the sun and were pleasantly happy of the change in weather. We were even happier when we came across a small, abandoned farm that would be perfect for spending the night. Well, all except Gandalf.
"I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the hidden valley," He had said after appraising the worn down shack that had most likely been the farmer's home. Disgruntled, Thorin walked towards him, away from where the rest of us were. He and Gandalf talked, but they were just far enough to where I could not make out what they were saying. It wasn't long before Gandalf was storming through us and away from camp.
"Is everything alright? Where are you going, Gandalf?" Uncle asked while petting his pony.
"To seek the company of the only one around here that has any sense!"
"Who would that be?"
"Myself, Master Baggins!" As the night grew dark, Gandalf did not return. Though no one spoke of it, I knew I was not the only one who was worried he would not return. Whenever it was mentioned, the Dwarves would shrug it off, saying that he was a wizard and did as he pleased. It had been left at that.
Thorin had assigned everyone something to do. Kili and Fili were watching the ponies, Oin and Gloin had been sent to gather dry wood and build a fire, and Bombur had been put to the task of making a meal of what we had. That left Nori, Dori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur, Bwalin, Balin, Uncle and myself to lay out the belongings that had not dried in the sun that day. There wasn't much as most of the sacs we used were hide and water-resistant, but there was enough to where laying everything out was a bit of a chore. There were cloaks, blankets, hats, and a few spare set of clothes that were still relatively wet from the rain.
By the time we had finished setting out everything, Bombur announced that the stew was done and we gathered around the nice fire the Oin and Gloin had finished. Looking around as everyone began to eat, slurping loudly, I noticed Uncle was missing. "Where has Bilbo gone?" I asked, feeling a bit weird using his name, as I usually only called him Uncle.
"Ah, I sent him to bring some stew to Fili and Kili, but that was a bit ago, should've been back by now," Bofur said as he looked around, his hat swinging around. "Best if you go fetch him," I nodded and took my bowl of stew with me. I had learned by experience that it was not wise to leave my food unattended by the dwarves, as they would gobble it up without hesitation.
Walking to where the ponies were being kept, dread washed over me. I saw neither Fili, Kili, nor Uncle and there was much less than fifteen ponies. Looking around, I set down my bowl and whispered, "Uncle?" There was no response, not that I was expecting one. Walking to the center of the ponies, I noticed that a tree had split down, splintering where it had broken and fallen. It was then that the ground shook. I stumbled and dove behind what was left of the tree as I heard an obnoxious voice follow the shaking ground.
"Ponies, a nice change from mutton. Been havin' too much mutton, been havin' it for weeks," Peeking over the tree, I saw a grotesque looking creature. It was extremely tall and fat, it's belly rippling as it walked. I couldn't be sure in the darkness, but it's skin looked sickly green or grey and I almost gagged when I saw it's feet. I wanted to say it was a troll, but I wasn't sure. It walked over to two of the ponies and hoisted them up under each arm, the ponies neighing and kicking wildly. Once it had both ponies, it walked back to where it had come from. Once it was far enough, I ran out from behind the tree and followed it, being careful to dive behind trees every now and again to keep from being seen. It was only a moment before I stopped behind a tree and saw it drop the ponies into a make-shift pen and sit at a fire. At the fire were two other creatures of the same nature and just as disgusting in appearance.
Looking back to the ponies, I was shocked to see Uncle trying to undo the loop on the pen! "Uncle!" I whispered just barely loud enough for him to hear, but so as not to alarm the creatures. His head whipped in my direction, eyes as big as saucers.
"Milo, what on Earth...!" He stopped and ducked behind a pony as one creature stood up and looked our way. I pressed my back to the tree and held my breath. Waiting a moment or two, I went to whisper to Uncle again, but he was gone. Confused, I glanced around and nearly choked when I saw him sneaking behind the creature that had sat back down.
Cursing him, I looked for something I could do, but my position did not provide the best vantage point. Looking up, I saw the branches of the tree and the dense thicket of leaves that covered them. Being sure to make little noise, I clambered up the tree. The leaves rustled a bit as I settled into a spot, but the creatures were making plenty of noise themselves. Pushing aside a branch just enough for me to see but still stay hidden, I watched Uncle below. He was directly behind one and trying to reach for a sword like object by his side. I clapped my hands over my mouth as the thing suddenly reached behind him, grabbed Uncle, and sneezed into him. I would have laughed if not for the urgency of the situation. The thing shrieked and stood, grabbing the attention of the others. They stood and stared at Uncle as the one that had sneezed on him shrieked," Ah! Oh, what's come out of me 'ooter?!"
"What do you suppose it is?"
"I don't know, but I don't like the way it moves around!" With that, Uncle was flicked onto the ground, covered in troll snot and now dirt.
"What are you then? Huh?" "A burglar or, um, a hobbit," I shook my head. Leave to Uncle to blatantly say he's a burglar.
"A burglar hobbit?!"
"Let's cook 'im!" My heart leapt into my throat as they all stood around him. Looking around me, I picked up a handful of acorns resting in the crook of the branches and threw them as hard as I could at the trolls. Luckily, they hit one directly in the eye, making him scream and clutch his eye.
"Ow, who threw that?!"
"Who threw what?"
"Someone has thrown nuts in me eye!" Their attention was now diverted from Uncle as the looked to see where the nuts had come from, but that didn't last long. As soon as Uncle tried to sneak away, he was picked up by an arm and hefted into the air.
"Not so fast now!" He was held by the trolls face. "Are there anymore of you?"
"Nope, uh, just me,"
"Liar! Hold him over the fire! Then he'll squeal!" Without any warning, Kili jumped from nowhere and slashed at the back of the trolls leg. It howled in pain and looked for the source of it's pain, eyes landing angrily on the lone dwarf.
"Drop him!" Kili demanded, sword held sternly in front of him. The troll said said nothing and he demanded again, "Drop him!" The troll growled this time and threw Uncle at him and as soon as the two hit the ground, Thorin, Fili, Dwalin, Balin, everyone rushed from out of the bushes, wielding weapons and heading for the trolls. I watched in amazement as they slashed at the trolls' feet, legs and bellies, the only things they could reach, diving out of the way of kicks and grabbing hands. Looking for Uncle, I saw him go for the troll's sword and race toward the pen, sawing against the rope. Within moments it was cut and the horses neighed wildly as the galloped away. This did not go unnoticed by the trolls and when one went to grab him, Uncle was unable to run out of the way. Within a flash of the eye, he was being held by all four limbs in the air. All of the dwarves stopped and looked at him.
"Lay down your arms, or we'll rip his arms off!" My heart clenched and my stomach tied in knots as I looked at Thorin. I felt so useless, I could only sit by and watch. I had no weapons to fight them with, and I had no chance against the , Thorin slowly set down his sword, the rest of the dwarves reluctantly following suit.
Within minutes they were left in their under clothes, tied in sacs atop each other, some tied to a spit over a fire.
"Hurry up and cook 'em! Dawn ain't far and I don't fancy being turned to stone," A lightbulb went off in my head and I looked to the horizon. The sun light was just barely peeking over the mountains, but the sun was still behind them. If the trolls were stalled long enough, the sun could rise and turn them to stone!
"Wait! You are making a terrible mistake!" Before any ideas had the chance to come to my mind, Uncle Bilbo was shouting at the trolls. "The thing with the-uh- with the seasoning, have you smelt them? You're gonna need something much stronger than sage before you cook these fellas!" The dwarves roared in disagreement, but I knew what he was up to immediatly. Great minds think alike.
"Oh? Then tell my burglar hobbit, what do you recommend?" The troll asked maliciously, but completely intersted.
"Well, the secret to um cooking dwarf is to skin them first!" I buried my face in my hands. Great minds may think alike, but not identically.
"What a load of rubbish!" One of the other trolls said, "I've eaten plenty with the skins on, there's nothing wrong with them! In fact, raw is the way to go!" With that, the troll picked up the nearest dwarf and held him above his open mouth.
"Not that one, he's infected!" The troll looked at the dwarf, disgusted and dropped him quickly. "In fact, they all have worms! Big, nast worms, in their... tubes!"
"Hare dare you, we don't have parasites!"
"Yes, yes they do!" Uncle and the dwarves began to yell over each other, the dwarves clearly not understanding what he was trying to do. The trolls began to tire of the arguing quickly and looked ready to smash them then and there when...
"Ow, me eye again!" Everyone stopped and looked at the troll who was now holding his eye. I had grabbed the acorns again and thrown them. For all intensive purposes, it had worked.
"Not this again! Who's is thrown nuts at us?!" In reply, I grabbed another handful and threw. This time they hit the other troll in the nose and he shrieked. Now, angry, the trolls looked wildly around, trying to figure out what was happening. The dwarves and uncle looked just as confused, but none-the-less thankful.
Grabbing another handful, I carefully moved further out on a branch, hoping to get a better shot. However, as I went to step on a thinner branch, it snapped under my weight and I fell out of the tree onto the ground. Luckily I hadn't been high enough to break anything, but the impact still hurt quite a lot. I didn't have time to recover before I was picked up by my leg and dangled upside down.
"Milo!" I looked to the dwarves who looked utterly shocked. They probably hadn't even noticed me missing in all of the commotion.
"You's the one who's been throwing nuts in my eye!"
"The dawn shall take you all!" The thundering voice reverberated through the air. Everyone looked to the source and none other than Gandalf stood atop a boulder, horizon at his back. He raised his staff and with a brilliant crack, brought it down on the boulder, splitting it in two and flooding the area with light. The trolls yelled and writhed as they slowly began to stiffen, turning to stone. I realised I was still in the stone-troll's grasp and let out a hefty sigh.
"I swear you dwarves are as dumb as trolls."
Finally some excitement! Please leave a review if you read, it helps me make the chapters better :)