Part 2 of 4 of the "evidence" he didn't change arguments

His disagreement with Vernon Dursley

I've heard many variations to this silly argument including:

-He was horrible to the Dursleys

-He's the reason Harry was mistreated at the Dursleys

-He boasted about his wealth

-He didn't apologize to Vernon

First of all, look at Vernon Dursley. He's a horrible person. It's a wonder the only 2 known people to have a personal problem with James are Snape and Vernon (both adult bullies of children). Second of all, even if he was horrible to Vernon, how the HELL does that justify years of child abuse? Third of all, Vernon and Petunia treated Harry horribly because they thought of wizards in general as freaks and Petunia was jealous of Lily. Vernon expressed his prejudiced view of wizards even before he met James (Vernon and Petunia Dursley – Pottermore). Fourth of all, it was Vernon who was horrible to James.

That's right. It's only the people who read the text with a biased opinion that would fault James. Here's what the text says (you can find it word for word on the Pottermore page of Vernon and Petunia Dursley):

James was amused by Vernon, and made the mistake of showing it.

This seems to be a common thing among purebloods. Even Arthur Weasley was amused by Vernon. No one calls Arthur a bad person right? I take it as purebloods such as James and Arthur simply weren't used to mingling with muggles. At worse, this is immaturity and NOT him being horrible or mean or arrogant.

Vernon tried to patronize James, asking what car he drove.

See, Rowling uses the word "patronize" to describe Vernon's action. Vernon was the one who was probably boasting about his car and patronizing James for not having a car as "great" as his.

James described his racing broom.

Again, we have to remember James is pureblood and not accustomed to muggle culture. Vernon asked about his car, and he talked about his form of transportation. Not being used to mingling with muggles, it probably didn't occur to him that Vernon (a muggle) would find him talking about his broom odd.

Vernon supposed out loud that wizards had to live on unemployment benefit.

Vernon is a grown (at least 20 something year old man) patronizing an 18 year old boy for not having a car and accusing him of being an unemployed bum. It was Vernon who was being horrible to James.

James explained about Gringotts, and the fortune his parents had saved there, in solid gold.

This seems to be James countering Vernon's accusation of him living off government unemployment. Oh, excuse James for daring to answer back to Vernon's accusation. Should he have just sat back and taken the accusation with no self-respect?

He wasn't boasting like some accuse him off. If Rowling meant that he was boasting, she would have used the word "boasted". Instead she used the word "explained" which indicates James explaining that he didn't live off government unemployment and that he had his wealth instead.

Vernon could not tell whether he was being made fun of or not, and grew angry.

Again, this seems to be a clash of culture more than anything. Vernon could not tell if he was being made fun of? This seems to be because he hasn't heard of Gringotts.

The evening ended with Vernon and Petunia storming out of the restaurant, while Lily burst into tears and James (a little ashamed of himself) promised to make things up with Vernon at the earliest opportunity.

As you can see, the disagreement was mostly Vernon's fault. Even if you deem James partly at fault, he was only an 18 year old boy. And everyone makes mistakes. People expect James to be a saint just because he changed, but no one is a saint.

The important this is that even if James did make a mistake, he felt ashamed about angering Vernon and because Lily was in tears. He even agreed to be the bigger man and make things up with Vernon even if the disagreement was mostly Vernon's fault. He was willing to apologize to Vernon and he didn't expect an apology from Vernon for patronizing him and calling him an unemployed bum. This shows that he did care about Lily and felt bad that she cried.

This never happened. Petunia did not want Lily as a bridesmaid, because she was tired of being overshadowed; Lily was hurt. Vernon refused to speak to James at the reception, but described him, within James' earshot, as 'some kind of amateur magician'.

See, James did seem to attempt to apologize to Vernon but Vernon was the one who refused to speak to him. Not only that, Vernon even rudely described James as "some kind of amateur magician" within earshot (a great insult to wizards). James didn't make a scene because of this. He put up with such treatment from Vernon for Lily's sake. Rather than criticizing him for any mistake he may have made (which he was sorry for), he should be credited for putting up with Vernon's shit without hexing him or storming out of the wedding. We see in 7 books, how horrible Vernon is.

Another thing, James' disagreement with Vernon did NOT break Lily's family up. There's NO mention of this. Lily and Petunia already had a sour relationship and still continued to have the same sour relationship. Lily and James were still invited to Petunia's wedding and Petunia still sent Lily a vase for Christmas. There's also NO evidence that this disagreement was why Vernon and Petunia treated Harry horribly. Vernon and Petunia hated wizards whom they deemed "abnormal" people/freaks. Even if James didn't have the disagreement with Vernon, Petunia would still have been petty and jealous of Lily and Vernon would still have been prejudiced against wizards. Vernon called wizards freaks before he even met James (when Petunia told him about Lily).