June 26, 2010
Dear Diary.
It had started again. The familiar, never-ending cloud of darkness had come back to Mystic Falls and enveloped the town in an all-consuming black hole of grief. Another murder mystery had reared its ugly head and just like all the other unexplained cases we had come across in the past, I already know that the culprit would never be found. They never were and never would be.
Because this small town seemed to have so many secrets. It was a place where death lurked around every corner.
It had only been a few days since the sharply familiar reaper's scythe had claimed another victim and the impact was so paramount that you could almost feel that unexpected yet agonising sense of loss which swept over a shook and sombre community. And with that loss… our last moments of living in blissful naivety had ended.
On the rare days, I had truly yet so foolishly hoped that by the summer's end, we would finally have the chance to start over, cut our past losses from our lives and fight like hell to douse the fires of future agonising storms.
And from the ruins of destruction we had faced, we would light a new flame. A tiny flicker of hope would arise from the ashes and finally allow us to begin anew.
On that rare day, we would claim back our peaceful lives which had been so viciously torn apart by death and despair.
None of this should have been so hard. This town had already suffered too much in two short years to not deserve the tiniest shred of compensation.
And yet it seemed... even that... was just too much to ask for.
My pen fell from lax fingers and clattered softly onto the wooden surface below. Through the buzzing of subdued chatter, I barely heard it roll across the table before coming to a careening halt, the hard plastic tapping soft flesh.
From directly across from me, my brother jerked. He blinked owlishly down at the object which had interrupted his silent musings and his lips faintly twitched before he flicked the pen back across the table. I paid it no notice as my phone buzzed.
My amber eyes drifted down, my heart pounding with growing unease as my mind failed to comprehend the words which jolted out of the screen. A chill pierced my eyes to my brain, turning my blood to ice as I swiftly opened the alert and fearfully scanned the text.
"The 30-year-old reporter's body was recovered from the WPKW9 studio, the victim pronounced dead at the scene. Although diagnosis showed considerable vertical bruising along the back and spine, the coroner's diagnosis post-mortem confirmed the clinical cause of death a result of "head and neck injuries," following her substantial fall. Local police have ruled out homicide and no further investigation is required."
Directly below the text was a miniaturised video and with one unsteady breath, I fumbled through my pockets for my earphones which I connected to my phone. Shoving the buds into my ears and swallowing down the bile which threatened to rise up the back of my throat, I pressed a trembling thumb onto the screen, allowing the image to play.
Tears streamed down the cheeks of the blonde reporter as she forced out her statement to the world.
"Whether suicide, or a tragic accident, WPKW News has lost one of its shining stars. The body of field reporter and weekend anchor Andie Star, was discovered at 10pm on Tuesday evening in a state of …"
I yanked the buds out of my ears and slammed my phone down on the table, the screen fading to black as my heart beat out a dull throb, unable to take any more of this soul-crushing grief. The pain around me was like the ache of an open wound barely past its initial impacting sting.
My jaw clenched as I read past the words the reporter had failed to conceal, my ireful mind filling in the blanks with vicious abandon. 'We would like to thank the sheriff's department for their laziness and blatant disregard for the community's safety as they participate in yet another fucking cover-up to hide back the truth. When asked for comment, they expressed their utmost apologies for the shittiness of the WPKW security cameras in the studio that night, which failed to catch our culprit.'
Without conscious thought, my fingers found themselves curled back around the pen. My eyes narrowed as I pressed the nib hard against the page, venting out my loss, my anger and my frustration at the mysteries still left unsolved.
I always knew Mystic Falls was no Eden but this past year had felt like somebody had smashed some big ass mirror and we were still picking up the shards of bad luck. Those tiny glass pieces just kept on falling.
Sometimes, in the ever growing pit of my stomach, I believed that they would never stop. That on the day when we would least expect it, on a day when we would finally know peace, the tiniest glass splinter would pierce our lives... and on impact, it would shatter us completely.
If those days ever came, I would find myself lucky. I had found myself a place where I could lose myself, fool myself into believing in the truths of a dream which most days surpassed the reality I had constantly come to witness. Maybe by falling into my subconscious realms and turning a blind eye to the goings on around me was dangerous but I had long ago lost the ability to care for consequences.
Because I had allowed myself to put the entirety of my trust in an enigmatic man who was the incarnation of fear. More unhinged and lethal than anything I had ever come across combined.
That alone should have been my red herring, the catalyst to ensuring my self-preservation but still, the shadows of fear never followed me.
Not with him. Never with him.
Because he had become my solace. It was the others that needed a watchful eye.
"Please tell me you're not turning into one of these losers that hangs out at work on his day off."
My pen stopped its scratching as his words slammed me out of my stupor. Catching my brother's eye with a wry glance, he nodded and together, we tilted back our heads. I sent Matt a blank look of appraisal before I stated casually, "I'm one of those losers that hangs out at work on her day off."
"You're supposed to be working," Matt accused with his arms tightly crossed and I blinked once before raising my wrist, checking my watch.
"Ahh, I've still got time," I mused aloud, relaxing back into my seat and Jeremy hid back a humoured smile as I mentally added on an extra five seconds. "but if you're here to judge my dear brother then I'm all ears, sweet Matty."
My twin however seemed undeterred and the more I watched his expression, the more my grin faded. My features merged into worried concern. The bags under his eyes seemed more prominent today.
Rubbing his temple, he wearily remarked, "You remember what we talked about the other night? How I've been seeing things?"
I missed the subtle warning glance that the blonde sent in my direction. "Honestly, Jer," he slowly replied. "That night was kind of a blur."
"Recreation will do that to you," I muttered out the remark and at the exasperated glares boring into the back of my head, I sighed and closed my diary with a sharp snap. "I get it," I uttered to myself while scraping back the chair with more force than necessary. "I'm gone."
The manager was waiting for me with crossed arms behind the bar and I greeted his stern expression with an innocently megawatt smile. "Is today the day, Robert?"
A muscle in his eye twitched. "Just get to work, Gilbert," he ordered and with that, he turned away, causing my grin to fall into one of aggravated confusion.
"What do I have to do to get fired around here?" I muttered but nevertheless, I swiftly snatched the piece of paper from an unaware waitress' hand and quickly scanned the order before looking over to the corresponding table. My eyes narrowed in deliberation as I recognised the customers and my pupils sparked when I glanced back to the little piece of paper once more.
"Oh no." I tutted to myself as I swiped up an empty glass. "That won't do."
Not even five minutes had passed before I found myself striding towards the strange couple, their heads bent forwards as they conversed in hushed whispers. Once I stood before them, I dramatically cleared my throat.
"I can feel the sibling love emanating all around you like tiny little rays of sunshine, dear sister," I announced, causing her to immediately lurch back in her seat. "It warms me Elena, it truly does."
Elena sighed and barely spent me a glance as she uttered, "Not now, Kiah," before rising from her seat and with a parting nod to her companion, she approached an awaiting Alaric. The two of them exited the Grill in long, rapid strides.
"And pray tell, which theatrical production of Mission Impossible is she enacting today?" I wondered, my voice vague as I watched the door swing shut behind her billowing chocolate hair. "We still on 'Crisis of the Missing Boyfriend?'"
"Act three I think," Tyler responded and I mildly nodded along as I continued to muse.
"It's some long ass show that's for sure. Anyway..." I slid the glass over the table towards him. "Your order awaits."
Tyler's brow furrowed as he looked it over before raising his head, regarding me with confusion. "I didn't order this."
"Oh, you did," I responded as I passed him the receipt. "I just changed the recipe to one that suited you better. You know, since it seems Caroline stood you up and all, not that I'm really that surprised. I always thought she could do better." I shuddered to myself as I envisioned it all in my head. "Seeing the two of you together that other night was like Barbie shacking up with a Ken downgrade."
"Thanks. This is exactly the type of drink I need: Loneliness." Tyler read out the name of the cocktail with an exasperated drawl.
"Which is why I gave you this glass filled companion, so you don't have to be," I retorted before pausing to think. "Plus, I'm learning new recipes recently so I need a guinea pig."
Tyler raised the glass to his lips and I watched him expectantly. He took a short sip and his face immediately scrunched up, his head tilting ever so slightly to one side before he set the drink back down. "You might need a bit more practise," he admitted.
"That's what he keeps telling me," I responded cryptically, watching cheerfully at the question beginning to form on the dark haired boy's lips. Before he got the chance to out the words, he glanced over my shoulder and the rumble of sound immediately died in his throat.
"You moving in or something? You've been here forever," Matt wondered, his warm shoulder lightly brushing mine as he came to a stand by my side. Tyler's reply fell on deaf ears as the busboy abruptly spun round on his heel to face me, his expression hard as he accused, "You've been at this half an hour and you're still on your first table."
"Hey!" I defended. "Juggling the role of waitress and bartender is hard work."
"You're a busgirl," Matt pointed out and I eyed the dishcloth in his white knuckled grasp with disgust.
"I dabble," I swiftly retorted. "and part of the bartender resume is the cliché role of psychologist."
"She's shit," Tyler muttered causing Matt to incline his head, the hard expression gone for the meantime and replaced by the faintest cracking of a smile. I paused for the slightest of seconds before spinning around on my heel to face him.
"You know what? I've decided to let that go since I know how hard this recent blow must be to you however expected this sudden situation of yours is to the rest of us." Tyler's mouth upturned into a frown when I stepped closer to Matt and whispered loudly in his ear, "He's been abandoned by the Golden Queen of the Mystic Pompoms and thus, I'm offering my counsel."
"Care was supposed to be meeting me," Tyler swiftly explained, cutting my reply short. He then hesitated, his brow furrowing before he reluctantly queried, "You haven't seen her, have you?"
All previous humour remaining on the other male's face vanished. "Not keeping up on her comings and goings anymore."
He made a move to leave and Tyler's eyes narrowed. "Look man," he started and chair legs screeched against wooden floorboards as he rose hastily to his feet. "I never meant for me and her being friends to be a problem for you."
Matt's form froze and I stood still, chewing on my lip whilst I watched on. Waiting nervously for the outburst. But when Matt finally turned back around, he did so with a sigh.
"It is what it is." He then turned to me and his arm suddenly shot out, sending the dishcloth flying in my direction. "Start making yourself useful," he ordered. I swiftly swiped it out of the air and briskly proceeded to scrub Tyler's table free from the invisible scum.
Five seconds later, I whipped back to face him. "There," I declared. "Happy?"
Matt rolled his eyes. "Ecstatic."
Tyler surveyed his retreat for a few moments longer before slowly sinking back into his chair, defeated. "He's looking a little green," he uttered in my direction. "Maybe you should be making him one of your special drinks instead."
"I would but if were being completely honest here Ty, I like him better than you," I responded, my voice quiet as I casually tipped my head, silently observing those slumped little shoulders of the retreating busboy in front of me. "And right now, he's in the Dementor phase of the breakup wherein every time he comes near with that face of self-pity, all happiness is sucked from the room. I just don't have the heart… what with those innocently miserable blue eyes… it's like kicking a puppy while it's still down."
There was a small silence. Tyler gazed at me through wide unblinking eyes of faux betrayal. "You like him better than me…"
His words were stunned and I offered him a one shouldered shrug in response. "What can I say, I dig the blondes."
"Well we both know that's not true," Tyler retorted. "Nice try though." A sly smile began to form across his lips, giving me time to swallow back my apprehension. "I seemingly remember back to my time in fourth grade… and your little crush on me." My cheeks automatically flared and he innocently continued, "It was actually quite adorable, you and your thing for brunett-"
He instantly cut himself off. The realisation struck and brown eyes sparked with renewed humour as he regarded my embarrassment in a new light.
"Pissing off somebody?" he wondered and I licked my dry lips before managing to croak out a reply.
"It's actually more of an ongoing game he's letting me play, a resistance of body and mind. He's allowing me to test how long it takes for me to finally make him crack."
And he had, my mind internally reminded me. He had turned the entire board upside down and smeared all the boundaries with that one bloody kiss.
At Tyler's knowing stare, I cleared my throat, forcing back another heated flush. "But I'll admit, it's taking some time." I blithely fabricated the lie. "He's a pretty formidable opponent."
"I find that a little hard to believe," Tyler denied, his grin never faltering. "With those games of yours, you always win."
"That's because everybody else plays it safe," I responded, my tone quiet while my mind wandered. "They keep to the rules. But this one's like me. He's…" I trailed off as I struggled to find the right words to explain my enigmatic, faceless friend. "Different. Unpredictable. The rules don't apply to him." I shook my head and the corners of my mouth softly twitched. I had finally found my explanation. "He's the one that even the rule book is afraid of."
And during that other night he had unknowingly come out the ultimate winner in our ongoing game of seduction. I could never let him know that the tiniest fragment of my resilience had actually succumbed to his charms.
Because what I had with Ares was way more than just some teasing entertainment to pass the time. We saw each other for who we truly were, our minds, our thoughts, our feelings behind the facades we put up against the rest of the world… we understood it all.
What we had was everything the other needed and I didn't want to put a chink in that connection because of my pesky spark of a crush.
Tyler studied me with rapt attention. A flicker of concern passed over his face. "Does your sister know?" he softly queried and an uncontrolled scoff burst from my throat.
"There are some things in life which she doesn't get to stick her nose into."
Tyler read through my scathing change in tone with rising confusion but chose the wise decision not to pry further. "So then," he teased. "When do I get to meet this mystery beau of yours?"
"If I have a say then never," I retaliated. Then my mind caught up and the words suddenly fell short. "Yeah." My body subtly twisted away from him, my numb heart stuttering in my chest. I refused to let him see the crippling desolation swimming behind my eyes. "Probably never," I silently whispered.
Tyler frowned, his worry becoming more apparent as the pain behind my quiet confession presented itself to his ears. Not wanting to partake in the conversation which had taken an abrupt and despairing turn, I raptly scanned the room for a distraction and found one almost immediately.
"That looks like an apology coffee train right there," I announced.
When Tyler's head snapped up to observe Matt's returning form, I swiped his cocktail from the table and clapped him on the shoulder with some soft parting words.
"My sister basically forgot about me the moment she had her first taste of a whirlwind romance with Boy Wonder. Take the advice from somebody who's already walked in Matt's lonely shoes… don't let your latest love… screw up the family you already have."
I couldn't bring myself to sleep that night. In the darkness. Away from the light. My eyes refused to close, my body negated to relax and switch off my wired brain so I could drift off into that other world. Instead I just lay there beneath the covers, my body as stiff as a board, my eyes staring blankly to the ceiling.
In the silence, I could almost hear the uncontrolled pounding of my heart skipping the odd beat while my stomach turned and my nerves drowned me in a sea of palpitating terror.
I had almost forgotten about it during my distractions of the day but now, in my world of black colour, the memories from four nights ago encompassed me with vengeance. Every time I looked into the blackness encasing my room, I was reminded of that foreboding figure with the masked face. The figure armed with the sharp blade.
My body lurched and I whipped onto my side, twisting uncomfortably beneath the covers. How I craved a sleep which wasn't dreamless, so I could let go and see him once more.
It was a yearning so strong; an overpowering urge to run into my illusory haven but my conscious fear was stronger. It had attached itself to me like a shadow, draining my body of the little bravery I had left until all that remained was a crippling sense of terror which dragged me down into this deep abyss.
"Seriously?"
"I was wrong."
It was the quiet murmurs drifting through the bedroom's thin walls which jolted me from my cascading thoughts, kicking my heart into a more courageous beat while it searched for a distraction from the torment inside.
My fingers curled over the blankets, pushing them to one side. I slowly got to my feet and padded towards the door which I pulled slightly ajar to listen.
Damon Salvatore's thoughtful tone drifted through my ears. "I thought Stefan was gone, but I was wrong."
"You saw him out there?" The hope in my sister's rising tone caused me to sigh. "Damon, is he okay?"
"No, he's not okay, Elena," Damon spat. "He's an insufferable martyr that needs his ass kicked..." He drifted off and there was a small pause. "But he can be saved," he whispered softly and I pressed my lips together in a thin line before quietly closing my door, muffling the sounds from outside.
"So the Golden Boy might actually be returning to town," I grumbled to myself. "Good to know." I slipped back beneath the covers, my fingers clutching the pillow as I buried myself into the soft warmth. I forced my eyes to close, hoping that this time it would work.
But I couldn't drift off and my sister's voice was getting loud enough to pass through the walls.
"Why are you being like this?" Elena protested and Damon's demand rose to meet her pitch.
"What changed your mind, Elena?"
"I didn't want to see you get hurt, okay?" she shouted and my eyes snapped open. "I was... I was worried about you."
Holy crap on a cracker.
I pushed the covers away from me once more, my face promising retribution as I reached haphazardly towards the nightstand. The light from the phone burned my eyes and blinking rapidly, my sight finally readjusted.
The time on the screen blared straight back at me.
"Yes, I worry about you. Why do you even have to hear me say it?" Elena snapped and my scowl deepened.
"Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you, I want you to remember the things you felt while he was gone."
I chucked the phone back onto the stand and leapt to my feet.
It was time for a bloody intervention.
In five long strides I had reached out, swinging my door back with more force than necessary and burst into the hallway, coming to a sudden halt in front of Elena's open door.
The two were stood close, lost in their own little world. Damon's palms were cupping either side of her neck, his thumbs gently caressing her cheeks. And she was staring deeply into his eyes, just as he was staring so intensely into hers.
The emotion passing between them was too nauseating for me to even contemplate. I had to put it to an end... before my sister did something she would later regret.
With one deliberate throat clear, the couple finally sensed my presence and leaped apart as if burned.
I smiled at them, my face portraying nothing but innocent confusion. "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything."
My sister carefully avoided my eyes. She glanced guiltily at the ground and with one last lingering glance, Damon backed away.
"Littlest Gilbert. Pleasure as always," he acknowledged, turning to me with a smirk which twisted my insides.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far." I responded, the sound so saccharinely sweet as I glared him down. "It is five fucking am. I need my fucking sleep, so unless you want a demonstration on how adept I've become in the martial art of ass-kicking, I fucking suggest that you get out of my house."
"Fine by me," he drawled back but when he made his way to the open door, I sidestepped in front of him, blocking his path.
"Erm, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I queried and Damon raised a black brow.
"I would have thought that to be obvious."
"Then maybe I didn't make myself clear enough." I jerked my thumb towards the open balcony window and Damon's blue orbs chilled with disbelief.
"You have got to be kidding me."
"Nope - you came in that way, you go out that way."
"Actually, I have a much better idea," he suggested and my heart lurched with the tiniest flicker of fear. He closed the distance between us. His hand curved around the back of my neck and jerked my head round to his. "Why don't you go back to sleep, while I finish off an important conversation with your sister."
The tiniest prickle itched in my brain and it began to grow in harmony with the raven haired Salvatore's words. An abrupt tiredness swept over my body, a gentle pressure urging me to retreat back to my room but I shook my head and forced that impulse down.
All that remained was repulsion for the insinuation behind Damon's command.
"I seemed to miss the memo on when you decided to take on my dead father's role," I snarled and the smallest flash of shock swam behind the black pupils before they contracted again.
"Must have got lost in the mail, so I'll repeat myself." His hand flexed tight against my neck as he growled, "You're tired Kiah, so why don't you be a good little girl and go back to sleep."
I blinked once and broke away from his gaze, a loud yawn escaping from my mouth. My feet moved without conscious command, backing me away from the two people I could no longer stand to be around.
"Actually you know what? I am actually quite tired so I'm just gonna..." I gestured limply towards my room and Damon's hand fell to his side. He leaned back, his pupils returning back to their original size as he smugly nodded his agreement.
"You do that."
He waited until I had completely disappeared from earshot before uttering quietly, "She isn't on vervain, is she?" and Elena slowly shook her head, her skin chalky white from the scene she had just witnessed.
"No," she whispered, her eyebrows puckered in concentration as she struggled to recall. "Although the night of my party, Caroline told me something similar happened when she compelled Kiah to leave." She dragged an agitated hand through her hair. "God I didn't even think."
"Hey." Damon swiftly stepped forwards, his hand closing over her wrist. He gently lowered her arm back down. "We'll keep an eye on her, Elena." His fingers threaded through her tresses with a light caress and smoothed the tangled strands. "Okay?" he murmured and Elena allowed herself a small smile.
"Okay," she whispered, confident in his assurance that everything was okay but just as I was about to enter my room, the door to my left creaked open.
I paused in my steps and turned back around. The sudden urge to fall back asleep was gone.
Jeremy walked sluggishly out onto the landing, blinking heavily.
"Wuzz goin on?" he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. I leaned back against my doorframe, folding my arms tight across my chest and craning my head towards our sister's bedroom.
"Leather infestation."
'You tell it to get out?" he whispered and with narrowed eyes, I shook my head at my own failure.
"Bastard's resilient."
The sound of the front door opening caused the two of us to whip around. When the stairs creaked, my mouth fell slightly ajar when the person ascending them came into view.
Damon brushed past us and with his fleeting comment of, "How's it going, Ric?" he made his way rapidly down the stairs, the front door shutting with an audible click behind him.
Jeremy and I just stared. Our history teacher stood on the landing, watching us awkwardly. His bags hung from both hands while he waited for one of us to speak.
After a few seconds ticked by, the breath left my lips with a low whistle. "Well that's a complete one-eighty if I have ever did see one." I tilted my head in my twin's direction. "What do you think, Jer?"
Jeremy just crossed his arms and smiled.
"I don't have to worry about you upping and leaving again tomorrow do I?" I shook my head with dramatic weariness. "I don't think I can keep up with these yo-yo decisions of yours."
Alaric's lips twitched, his relief at our acceptance apparent. Then he rotated his body and the corners of his eyes creased with his concern.
Elena still stood in the place where Damon had left her, a frown marring her blank eyes.
"Know what you're doing there?" he softly enquired and her shoulders sagged.
She released a slow breath of air. "No, I don't."
"She's not keeping friend zone in his designated area, is she?" I uttered to my brother, the revelation creeping up into my mind and Jeremy kept his gaze straight in front of him.
"Apparently not," he replied, his tone just as low. His head twisted back in my direction and he scrutinised my unwavering focus on my sister's confliction. "What are you thinking?" he whispered and my amber irises glittered.
"That this is gonna be fun."
Oblivious to our mutterings, Elena's attention flew to mine and I narrowed my eyes, matching her defiance.
"Damon and I told you to go to bed, Kiah," she said hotly and Alaric and Jeremy froze. I looked to them, my brows furrowing but Elena's sharp demand snapped my focus back onto her. "Why are you even up at this hour?"
"Because you refuse to keep your night visitors to a low," I retaliated. "And said visitors, who obviously do not know the difference between night and day, usually tend to disturb all the sleeping people within a five block radius."
Her chocolate eyes flashed and when her face contorted, I took a step forwards.
"Although if you really want to play that game then why are you back so late, sister?"
She stopped short and my twin shifted as I scathingly pursued, "Jeremy told me about your little group's impromptu trip and I highly doubt that you would spend a six hour drive, there and back, just to go backpacking up some Tennessee mountains unless Stefan's finally found his call as a hillbilly."
I began to circle her frozen form and softly accused, "Is this the big secret you're keeping? Were you and your boyfriend's big bro on some snuggly getaway together?" I never moved my gaze from her face, reading every emotion, her rising fury. "Maybe that's the real reason why Stefan left this god forsaken town," I continued to torment. "Maybe he got the hell out of dodge when he realised the truth."
"You're wrong," Elena finally spat and I came to a sudden stop in front of her, ignoring the bated breaths from the two men behind us who were silently watching our confrontation.
"Am I now?" I gasped out my mocking shock. "Then just a little tip, which I highly suggest you take under advisement in future. With all those secrets you're keeping under lock and key, lies begin to spread." I tutted out my disappointment when her silence remained steady. "People tend to get the wrong idea when they are oblivious to the truth, especially when said truth involves inviting strange men into your room during odd hours of the night."
Elena stepped back and I immediately counteracted it with one of my own as I warned her, "If you keep going on as you are Elena, standing between two brothers, then those people will start to talk and I can just imagine how tragic that could get should word ever get around. Especially since we live in such a small town." My hand extended to give her one patronizing pat on the shoulder. "So you'd better keep on your best behaviour dear sister, sweet dreams."
And with that I returned to my bedroom, my door finally shutting with a sharp click. I lay down once more, wide awake in the darkness, completely unaware that Elena, Alaric and Jeremy were still watching my closed door.
My sister silently fumed while the other two slowly faced her with curious trepidation.
"What's going on?" Alaric whispered, reading her apprehensive confusion and Elena paused before she reluctantly replied.
"Kiah's fighting the compulsion."
August 23, 2010
I thought I had truly known what loneliness felt like. The smallest of conversations, a fleeting comment here and there, voices dying down as soon as I entered a room… but this… this was different.
For the past few months I had been living inside a home of seclusion. My brother never left his room while my sister buried herself in research and odd impromptu trips out of the state, travelling off to destinations unknown. We never spoke these days but when it came to her, I already knew the cause.
Stefan. It always came back to Stefan.
With that I had been upgraded from ignored to invisible.
The further time we spent apart, the further I drifted away.
All I had was myself, a job I so clearly loathed and a pitying manager who refused to fire the girl who had lost her family. Some days I would consider it a blessing. Some days it was better to actually do something. No matter how meagre the task seemed, it was better than having nothing to do at all.
But then there came the days where I no longer had the Grill to distract me. All I could do was hole up in my room and after the events of last week, I didn't dare leave.
Because just seven days prior, Elena had vanished off with Damon to Chicago. She had finally found Stefan... yet when she returned home with her red, tearful eyes as blank as an empty canvas, we all knew the truth of what happened.
Now we were all walking barefoot on broken glass.
Waiting for the day she finally broke.
And so, when the older Salvatore decided to wheedle his way into our home with all his comforts and sympathies, all I had left to save me was one simple action, to close my eyes and just keep on sleeping, always hoping that one day I would dream again… but even those days were beginning to feel difficult.
Every night, I found myself being haunted by an irrational fear of a five-second-appearing-spectre which sent my mind tumbling through a chasm of consternation.
But on those sporadic days when my body gave in to the overpowering tiredness and my unconscious world managed to break through to put an end to my dreamless nights, I would be saved from the maddening curse of my isolation.
I couldn't remember how I had successfully managed to drift off or why I didn't sleep through the entire course of the night undisturbed.
Most would call it a consequence of my mental and physical exhaustion but in the end, I believed it to be pure luck when I found myself standing inside the visual world of my mind. A faint lamplight streamed down from the dark ceiling above and casted a dim luminosity over my strange surroundings.
All it took was one quick scan over the unfamiliar room, from the dusty bottles plastered to the shelves on the walls, to the upturned chairs stacked atop of tables, for an involuntary groan to break its way past my throat.
"Fantastic," I grumbled, running the tips of my fingers over the polished surface of the bar before drumming them idly against the wood. "I spend my whole life trying to get away from places like this and now I'm stuck with it inside my unconsciousness too."
"Heyyy, it can't be all bad now, can it?"
Heart leaping into my throat, I whipped around and couldn't help the smile from forming across my face. After all this time I had found him again and he was just a few feet away.
The sound of his light-hearted tone sent a warm shiver through my blood. "I for one can say that my night is improving quite nicely."
"Then I guess it's all in the perspective," I replied, the retaliation coming almost naturally whilst I tactfully blinked back tears which threatened to form. "Although, you know what?" I drew in a breath, speaking the words softly. "In this case…"
I stepped forward, all too aware that I could feel every nerve of my entire system jittering… but not a single part of me could bring myself to give a damn. These past few months alone without him had gone on for far too fucking long and I needed to do this.
He silently watched my approach, the sight of his relaxed stance enough to make my confidence flare before I closed the last five footsteps between us with one swift running jump.
Our bodies collided and I flung my arms around his neck, feeling him stagger as my legs wrapped around his hips. When my head buried into the dip in his shoulder and my lips parted to exhale a breathless sigh, his frame tensed fleetingly before the subtlest of growls rumbled through his throat.
An instant later his arms had banded around me, his hands curving under my thighs, his long fingers splayed as he held them tight, securing me in place against his chest.
I could feel and hear the sound of his low chuckle vibrate through my entirety as his head dipped down, his mouth hovering by my temple. "Not that I'm all for this sudden affection, darling… but care to fill me in on this little turnaround of yours?" The brush of lips against my flesh caused me to shudder but I still didn't pull away and amusement laced his tone. "Don't tell me you're actually happy to see me."
My thumbs absentmindedly stroked the nape of his neck and completely ignorant to the action, I squeezed my eyes shut as I replied, "Can't you just accept that as impossible to believe as it is, seeing you again is not the worst thing in the world that could happen to me?"
I could practically feel his body inflate at my words and instantly backtracked.
"Not the best either," I added, refusing to brush his ego. "You're quite the average company."
Yet even as my lips tilted against his throat at the success of my blasé retaliation, my arms around him had tightened and he paused before gently unhooking my legs. He slid me down his body and when my feet touched the ground, his palms skimmed from my thighs to my hips. A hand threaded through the ends of my hair, gently playing, teasing the maple locks through his fingers.
"How long has it been for you since last we spoke?" he murmured, never looking away from my face. He was silently demanding my answer and recognising the shift in the atmosphere, my gaze drifted over his shoulder.
It took me a moment to reply. "Couple of months, give or take." Bewilderment swept over me and I blinked up at him. "How did you figure?"
"Well when a beautiful woman decides to hurl herself at you with the type of flair that you so magnificently pulled off by the way little dreamer, the signs tend to go up. I just responded as any typical mortal would when they stumble across such a rousing opportunity."
He squeezed my hips, using them to pull me in. My senses shot to high alert, blood rushing as he trapped me against his frame.
"Although I can't bring myself to blame you darling, for your willing surrender to my captivating disposition. Though in all fairness," His head dipped to my ear. "You lasted longer than most."
"And I damn well will continue to hold that streak so you can stop right there," I responded with a shaky laugh, my palms spread wide against his chest. I gently pushed him away, my emotions once again my own. "And don't even attempt to pull your shit defensive quips on me when we both know that you were squeezing me pretty tight just now."
He was uncharacteristically silent but I knew that behind the concealment of his face, his eyes would be watching me with an intensity that not even my imagination could create.
"Admit it, Ares," I challenged. "Your world went that a little bit darker without me. Or better yet…" I held up a finger, exaggerating my gasp as I exclaimed, "I would even go so far as to bet that you actually missed me."
"When you're trapped in an everlasting slumber inside your own head, you tend to lose perspective of time," he steadily responded but there was a strange lilt in his voice which caused me to shoot up a brow.
Before I could question it further, the lapse had already gone.
"And I suppose I'll admit it," he added with smooth declaration. "Boredom tends to rear its ugly head when you're not around."
I swallowed, forcing myself to turn away and my hand flexed, fighting back the urge to return to his side. I scanned the bar for a distraction and a sly grin made its way across my face, the visual retort suddenly present in the forefront of my mind.
"Did you ever think to invest in one of these bad boys?" I wondered with a grin, thinking back to the dress from our last encounter and with the simple narrowing of my eyes, I allowed my mind to roam free.
The mirror popped into existence at the mere wish of a thought and I gestured to it with triumph, my fingertips tingling. "Knowing you as I do, I'm sure introductions are not needed. You two should already be well enough acquainted by now."
Ares tipped his head in its direction for long one moment before focusing back on me.
"In this case, I confess my control over this place seems to be quite limited," he quietly mused. "But recently I prefer more breathing forms of distraction."
In the blink of an eye, he was standing behind me, his head dipped, chin resting on my shoulder.
"So, little dreamer," he uttered low. "Distract me. What have I missed? Any more insight into your despicable family's squabbles?"
I turned my head towards him. "I thought it was the bartender's job to listen in places like these?" Our cheeks faintly brushed as I softly teased, "Think I'd trust a man like him better than you."
"Well unfortunately for you, I was never one for rules," he smoothly responded. "Why take out all the fun when you could mix it up a little? Makes it interesting."
His fingers found my waist, the tips pushing away the hem of my top so they could move in soft patterns against my skin. With one simple tug, he drew me back into his hold. "And since you helped me in the past by allowing me to overcome the consequences of my bastard brother's betrayal, I've decided to return the favour."
His head turned to my throat and I stilled, my muscles locked in place as I drew in a breath and held.
"Although come to think of it," he purred, his mouth brushing the lightest path along my throat. "Maybe I am getting something out of this."
I could feel my head arching, the show of acceptance to his actions. I let myself be washed away with the sensations his voice stirred within me. Yet when I felt him press his lips harder against my throat, I bit back a smile, pushing back the searing heat within as I rolled my exasperated eyes.
"You're a bloody hedonist, cannibal," I breathed and with all the strength I could muster, I stepped away from him and approached the bar.
"What are you doing?" he queried and I flipped up the countertop, carefully passing through to the other side before I twirled back around to face him.
"I was always better at show than tell."
"And as it so happens, I do love a good show." He slid up onto the stool in front of me and gestured out his arm. "So by all means," he urged. "The floor is yours."
He waited patiently while I paced, allowing me to gather my thoughts and turn them into words he would understand. Determined to keep my emotions steady, I gazed around and my attention fell onto the glasses laid out on the shelf beneath me. I pulled one out from the underbar, keeping my hands busy whilst I proceeded to pour and mix the ingredients.
"My house is getting contaminated," I started simply. "My sister is playing the role of a perfect hostess to this leather-wearing parasite who just so happens to be her absentee boyfriend's brother. When they don't disregard my existence, they make it their life's mission to get off on telling me what to do."
Ares leaned forward, his hands pressed flat against the counter but I could see his fingers twitch. "And the rest of your family?" he wondered, his tone taking on an edge and I swiftly slid the drink across the table which he reluctantly accepted.
"They all have problems of their own to deal with." I lifted my shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. "Seems like these days they talk to me 'cause they have to. Moral obligation and all." I glanced down at my feet and uttered, "I'm something to pass the time until something better comes along."
A low rumble echoed through the air but I paid it no notice as I lifted my head back up and forced a smile.
"So this is me," I concluded, waving at the air around me before extending my arm and gesturing to the surrounding empty tables. "And this is the rest of the world…. and I'm putting a block up."
Just as I was about to push the countertop piece back down, the stool had scraped back and Ares had shot up. His hand suddenly curved around the polished edge, his thumb brushing against mine as he counteracted my action. "You wouldn't keep me out, would you?" he said with a low hum.
"Would you let me if I tried?" I retaliated. When he attempted to flip the countertop back up, I pushed it down harder with a laugh.
"Come, come darling, you should know better than to toy with me," he lightly chided, his forefinger curling under my chin and tipping my face to meet his distorted gaze directly. "By now, I think we've all established you won't shut me out and I even if you did, I can guarantee, I'll always get through."
With one snap of his wrist, his force overpowered mine and the counter flipped back up. I staggered away, panting slightly as he crossed over, pressing his chest flush against mine.
"And as for your sister's most recent male fancy, what would you like me to do to him?" he queried and I frowned before voicing my bafflement.
"What do you mean?"
"Well I could just kill him for you. Make it look like an accident." He never looked away from me, his words taking on a gentler tone. "For hurting you."
"I'd love to take you up on that, I really would," I whispered back before pausing for thought. I could see it play out in my head now: Imaginary friend goes up against the town prick. "But there are just some things in life that we can't really have," I said quietly.
In the end, Ares was just the voice in my head, the small push of encouragement I needed to find a better way to cope.
"I disagree," Ares said softly and I rolled my eyes.
"Of course you would." My focus found itself wandering. It landed on the glass still resting untouched upon the bar surface. "You didn't finish your drink." I pointed out before offering, "Want me to make you another?"
He reached for my hair, curling a maple lock around his forefinger. "I'd rather leave that particular question unanswered in the interest of keeping that dignity of yours intact."
"I already lost that the last time you told me." I mimicked his tone and slapped his hand away. "Bloody disaster is your most inspiring phrase to date." He chuckled but neither of us took a step back while I slowly considered, "But I've done some thinking and I have come to the conclusion that nobody can appreciate my rare skills."
"They are certainly quite the achievement," he agreed. "You just need to add a little more imagination."
"Think I'm doing fucking brilliant on that part," I muttered to myself. "I made you up didn't I?" My words were met with silence and I swallowed. I never thought I would say this aloud but I found myself blurting, "But if you're so sure of yourself… then teach me."
The spark of a challenge jerked him into action and with one last coy tug on my hair, he let the lock slide through his fingers.
"Fair enough," he responded. He stepped around me and I followed him with my gaze until I felt my wrist being grabbed. "Although just to warn you, I prefer the traditional hands-on approach when it comes to my prized students."
He tugged me to stand in front of him, my back to his chest. His arms came around me and he pressed an empty glass into my palm before covering my hand with his own. With a visible shudder, I let him guide my hands as he saw fit, expertly prepping with casual flair.
"How do you even know how to make these?" I questioned, glancing down at the drink before looking out over the rest of the bar. "Did you spend a lot of time here?"
"I learned a lot of tricks in this place over a century ago, courtesy of a meek bartending witch," Ares, explained vaguely as we added in the Port. "She was very easy to please so unsurprisingly, she found herself enamoured the moment she set her eyes on yours truly. I charmed her into doing my bidding."
"Oh that poor, naïve sod." I shook my head, feigning despondency. "Let me guess, once you had done away with her range of expertise, you added her to your recently learned list of recipes too?"
"Her blood was a rather delightful ingredient but nonetheless, I assure you, once you and I are finished, you'll put all the bartenders in this city to shame."
It was quiet for a passing second before a snort passed through my mouth. "I think somebody is a little overconfident in their abilities."
"And somebody else is soon about to see just who is right," Ares responded and his voice was littered with concentration. My hands still played puppet in his grasp as he listed off his orders. "Just add a dash of lemon juice…. a little shake and strain as so… and you'll be good to go."
His grip on my hands loosened and right in front of us, on top of the bar surface, stood a shimmering blood red cocktail.
Ares reached across me, swiping up the drink by the stem and tipped a sample down his throat with a hum of appreciation. "Perfection if I do say so myself. Here…" He held it to my lips. "Care for a taste?"
My fingers clasped his wrist and he gently pushed the rim past my parted lips. My eyes fluttered closed as the liquid seeped to the back of my mouth. I savoured the taste then swallowed.
"It's not completely terrible," I reluctantly admitted. Ares lowered our hands so he could set the glass down before snaking his arms round my waist. He held me to him as he lowered his head.
"You see, love." His husky breath fanned over my ear and my face violently blushed. "With me by your side, your talents have no bounds."
I swiped my tongue over my lips, relieved that I could avert my gaze, allowing me time in the small silence to find myself a response to his words.
"I hope you know that distracting me from my family did nothing to help me feel better," I finally whispered and he turned me around in his arms to face him.
"And if you're going to be a liar, little dreamer…" He pinched my chin, tipping up my head and having no choice, I breathlessly inhaled as he dragged the pads of his fingers across my cheek in a soft caress. "Make sure it's with somebody who doesn't know your face."
He pressed his thumb against my lower lip and I smiled.
The dim lights suddenly began to flicker and I surveyed the room with a growing sense of unease. Ares sighed low and I soon found my face cupped between his palms. My arms automatically wrapped around him as he pressed his forehead against mine.
"Is it so wrong…" he murmured, the two of us desperately holding on until my figure turned to spectre. "…that the cruellest part of all the thousand years, I have endured… is watching you disappear as you wake?"
A small stream of sun drifted through the windows of our large empty solace and the last of the bar's lights extinguished.
That morning, I just lay there. My eyelids opened and narrowed into a squint as I raised my arm to shield my vision from the assault of light spilling in through the curtains.
When I finally found the spark of motivation to push myself from bed, Ares' words tumbled through my startled mind. I slowly took in his parting truth; a confession so raw… a confession which was steadily etching a permanent scar inside me while I prepared for the day in a weakened daze.
What he said had struck me, impacted me in a way I never thought possible. A way I didn't dare to feel. Ares was becoming too real for my liking and that realisation hurt…
Having all that expectation and all that hope would only suffocate and destroy if it was ever extinguished. If I wasn't too careful, I knew that one day I would suffer that consequential torment.
When I stepped out onto the landing, my ears pricked up at the muffled voices drifting up from below. I instantly descended the stairs two at a time and careened towards the dining room. As soon as I entered, the sight I was met with caused me to falter in my steps.
"I'm gonna have to start changing the locks," I grumbled.
"And a big good morning to you too," Damon drawled.
I was seriously considering taking Ares up on his offer to kill him.
"Good is up for deliberation," I retorted, the insult falling instantaneously from my mouth. It was then when I fully absorbed the scene before me and my skin automatically paled. "Oh good god, what is happening?" I questioned, dreading the answer when I inhaled the undeniable scent of the room, already knowing what it all meant.
"You're having chili for the next three months," Damon explained and with that single sentence, my day had been utterly ruined.
"Fantastic." I forced out my reply and with a small curse under my breath, I slipped out my phone from my jeans pocket. My thumbs flew across the keypad, pressing the letters rapidly.
Elena, realising almost immediately what I was doing, growled to herself and blinked back tears of frustration while she threw the chopped onions into the pot. A confused Damon watched her reaction for a moment before turning to contemplate my odd behaviour.
"And what exactly are you doing?" he queried.
"Finding a good takeout for the next three months," I responded without looking up. "Or a B&B." I flicked through the websites with renewed vigour. "My sister is free to eat her own chili-comfort-food by all means but I would like my stomach to remain tolerant of all the things I decide to put in it. And none of it..." I jabbed my thumb in Elena's direction. "... includes her shoddy cooking."
Elena rolled her eyes while she continued to stir the sizzling ingredients. "Oh chill, Kiah, the smoke alarm hasn't even gone off yet."
"The smoke alarm has been broken ever since Aunt Jenna told us it questioned her abilities," I idly retorted, opening up another browser and Elena just pressed her thin lips together before dumping in an excessive amount of diced garlic cloves.
She proceeded to beat the mixture into a frenzy and having no other choice, I sent a desperate glance towards Damon who instantly caught on and quickly intervened.
"I just don't know why you want to bring chili to a potluck." His face contorted into disgust. "Everybody brings chili."
Movement sounded from behind us but I didn't look up, already knowing which one of the two other suspects it could be.
"Hey, Ric," Damon greeted and Alaric scanned the inhabitants of the room, his gaze resting on my inattentiveness for a split second.
A flash of unease passed over his features before he turned back to the duo and questioned, "What's up?"
Elena swiped up a chopping knife and proceeded to the carrots. "What time do you want to go to the Lockwood party?" she queried and I bit back my wince, no longer able to watch her painfully slow attempt at slicing the poor vegetables to pieces.
"Ah." Alaric hesitated before hastily explaining, "Those founders' parties aren't really my thing."
"Show up, there's going to be nine other people that brought chili," Damon interjected.
"Nine people minimum," I casually corrected him and pulled back a dining stool. I slid onto it and propped up my elbows before burying my head in my hands. It was a way to hold back my aggravation. "And at the rate she's going, there's not gonna be enough room left for them on the Lockwood serving table."
"It's an old family recipe, okay?" Elena defended.
"Yeah, I know," Damon responded, making his way over to her side. Icy orbs subtly swept over me before he added, "And if I knew your old family I can guarantee, they would have also made sucky chili."
He swept the knife out of my sister's hands and her head immediately jerked towards him. With one flash of his smirk, a laugh burst forth from her lips and her shoulder bumped gently against his.
Alaric watched their interaction without emotion and my arms lowered. My hands curved tightly over the edge of the table while I fought the mental urge to bang my head against its surface.
"I can't believe I'm actually saying this but for once I agree with him," I muttered and with that, the two stepped back.
Elena retreated to the stove, the atmosphere now liberated from her residual raging hormones.
"See," Damon exclaimed. "Even your sister of all people agrees with me. We're making progress." He wiggled his eyebrows my way. "Worried that one day we might actually become friends?"
"Not really," I responded vaguely, turning my attention back to my phone to browse more websites in boredom. "You always find a way to screw it up eventually."
Damon's jaw clenched and Alaric chose that moment to intervene. "Why are you here, exactly?" he inquired and with that, the twisted smile was back.
"She knows," he whispered and Alaric twisted around to Elena who just sighed.
"He thinks I'm going to break." Damon scoffed and she frustratingly protested, "I'm not going to break!" She shrugged her shoulders, forcing a strained smile onto her face. "I am just going to keep making chili, pretend like I didn't just spend the entire summer looking for someone who didn't want to be found."
"It's the typical Elena stage in her unrequited breakups," I commented while Elena snatched back the knife and shoved Damon aside in order to resume her chopping. "It's the 'I know he's moved on phase but deep down I know he's still in love with me.'" I set down my phone with a knowing smile. "I dub this stage, denial."
"I'm not in denial," Elena hissed but Damon took the reins.
"No?" He stepped in front of her. His chest pressed to hers. His hand shot out. Her body froze. "You're still wearing this necklace," he murmured, twisting the circular piece of metal between his fingertips. "Isn't this the reminder of your unbreakable bond with Stefan?"
Elena opened her mouth but as soon as she looked into his eyes, she could no longer find the words to answer. They just stood there. Chocolate orbs fixed upon ice blue. Her lips parted and her cheeks flushed. She once again fell away from her surroundings.
I pursed my lips at the continuous eye flirting and jerked my head to rid myself of this awkward vision. My attention drifted to Alaric who was still watching them with his strange revelation.
"Tell me about it," I muttered to him and his body jolted before he glanced at me, the same thoughts running through his head.
"How long?"
"If you're referring to the revolting displays of affection which you are seeing right in front of you, then just under half an hour… but that's only counting the duration of this morning alone."
Alaric grimaced and unaware of our interaction, Elena dropped the spoon from her grasp, the chili long forgotten from her mind.
With a passing, "I'll get it," she rushed out the room, responding to the doorbell which had suddenly chimed through the house.
When Damon made a move to resume where she left off, I sidestepped in front of him. My palm curved over the metal handle of the pot which quickly put a stop to his actions.
"Don't bother, it's a lost cause," I muttered to him as I eyed the poor simmering mixture with faux sadness. "Let it die with the dignity it still has left."
Pitched voices resonated from across the room and the two of us craned our heads towards the door. At the sound of the familiar tone, faint irritation clouded Damon's features. When I heard my name being called, I reluctantly forced my legs to work, bringing me into full surveillance of bright sapphire eyes.
"I come bearing gifts," Caroline chirped and I scanned the reunified trio, taking a brief note of the blonde's pristinely bubbling appearance before turning to the stairs.
Summer was officially over.
"I'm going back to bed," I grumbled.
"Erm, no you're not," Elena argued, her beam fading as she pulled back from her hug with Bonnie to pierce me with disapproving eyes. "All you ever do these days, Kiah, is sleep and it's not healthy. You're coming," she commanded. "And so is Jeremy. No arguments."
"Alright, I bloody get it," I snapped back, my fingers flexing but I forced them to remain by my sides. "Your way, Elena." When I turned my back on her and ascended the stairs, my jaw clenched as I forced the inaudible words out through gritted teeth. "As always."
I stomped across the landing towards my twin's door but the muffled sounds coming from the other side had me stopping still. With my breath held, I pressed my ear against the wood to listen. The sounds I heard from the other side had my mouth curving into a small grin.
"I was dreaming about you," Jeremy uttered. "I-"
"Let me be the first one to tell you that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness," I announced, the door flinging back at the sudden jerk of my arm and Jeremy leapt up from his kneeling position upon the bed, his cheeks brightly flushing at my presence. "Although if these are practise lines… then the seductive delivery is on point... depending on who they're aimed at."
I cocked my head in amusement as I wondered, "Should I be worried that you're developing narcissistic qualities, twin?"
Then ignoring his responding splutters, I stepped to my left until I was in full frontal view of the mirror. I twirled a lock of maple hair around my finger, my lips forming a full pout whilst I admired the figure of perfection before me.
"I was dreaming about you too," I purred, winking once and my reflection winked back at me.
"Now that I can believe… although you're not exactly the Queen of Subtly either, what with your obvious sleep talking and my thin walls," Jeremy argued.
His tone was meant to be teasing but all amusement from my face vanished. Apprehension began to rise in fear of what he could have possibly heard.
Jeremy never noticed my change in stature as he added, "So thanks for the concern and all but let's just agree that we say nothing more on this and that we keep our antisocial secrets from our sister, yeah?"
"I'll do you one further," I replied, turning my back on the mirror and staring at him head-on. "Let's just re-establish our relationship to staying out of people's business."
Furrowed lines appeared on his forehead. "Wait, when did we ever have that relationship?"
"I'd say for the past couple of months now," I responded carelessly. "And if you've somehow forgotten then think back. Feel free to remind me… when was the last time we spoke to each other?"
Jeremy swallowed hard, the colour draining from his flesh. "Kiah, I-" he began but stopped short when I pointedly looked away, refusing to hear his petty excuses. He knew better by now than to try to make amends when I was in this state. With a shaky exhale, he reluctantly changed the subject and tentatively questioned, "Who was at the door?"
I glanced back to him and plastered a smile onto my face. "Well it sure to hell ain't chili but I think you'll find, it's just as hot."
His mouth parted and within seconds he had scrambled up off the bed and hurtled down the stairs. I followed him more slowly, folding my arms atop of the bannister and peered over just in time to see Bonnie fling herself into his awaiting arms.
The tiniest twinge pinpricked its way into my heart and slowly began to widen the hole until it became a throbbing ache of resentment and yearning.
With all eyes on the reuniting couple, there was no one who would care for my lacking presence. I retreated to my room, my hand reaching out to retrieve the familiar worn hardcover from the bookshelf.
My body trembled as I withdrew the diary from inside Freud's pages and opened it to the most recent entry. With the simple extension of my arm, I lifted the pen from my bedside table.
My thoughts and feelings erupted with one small sentence scribbled onto a single blank page.
Is it so wrong that the cruellest part of waking up, is watching him disappear?
My pen dropped from my hand as if it had scorched my flesh and my fingers shook. I pressed my palm flat over the paper, rapidly smudging the ink until the recent words became illegible. Tears began to well and I rapidly blinked them back but not before a stray trickle managed to reach my chin.
I furiously wiped it away before squeezing my eyes together tight. All the while, my mouth moved to form the same three calming words over and over to bring me back to the rational world.
"Get it together."
It's here! Hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you thought!
Next chapter will be up this week :D
Reviews:
Serelena: I'm so glad you like them! Hope you liked the update. Next part up this week!
Dark-Supernatural-Angel: I'm glad Kiah got to hear Kol finally open up a bit more about his family! Using Nik's name was definitely a step for him but he keeps a lot back. When he decides to open up to Kiah, he would rather do it when he knows she believes in what he says is true. Some details can be shared, some can't. You'll get more about that in the next chapter! A bit of compulsion resistance is definitely going on, isn't there ;). John's letter was such a difficult one to write for me too but I'm so happy I did it justice :D. Jeremy and Kiah's relationship is one I love to write but there is still this secret between them which is going to cause problems. Elena is definitely self-centred and you're right, she and her friends are controlling what Kiah does to a point. Hopefully hers and Jeremy's reasons for keeping her in the dark will come to light soon!
Guest 1: So do I! That is going to get frustrating, so don't say I didn't warn you. But it all comes down to a head in one scene in the future that I've already written and it'll be worth it for sure! You'll find out her sibling's reasons for lying to her as the story goes on. So am I!
Shadowing: It definitely seems like Kiah is resisting the compulsion doesn't it? It's a mystery which will slowly unravel as I keep on writing :D. The shadow thing will unravel at one point too. Hope you liked the update!
kmeds224: I'm so glad you like Kiah and Kol's relationship. Hope you liked the update!
Aliana . Gabriella . Winchester . 17: That is a very good point! Seems like Kiah's going all out to get fired these days. Elena's definitely not gonna be happy about that should she succeed :D
yasmina1: Neither can I. It's gonna be a good scene for sure since I got ahead of myself and have already written it ;) Hope you liked the update!
19vanelkc: Thank you so much! I can't wait for that either but it's gonna be a frustrating ride until that scene happens! Hope you like the update though :D
KateKat1992: Thank you so much! It's here! Next chapter is already finished too :D
Guest 2: Thank you! :)
Gemm13: Thank you! :)
Arkytior's Song: Thank you so much, it means a lot! Next chapter will be out soon!
Guest 3: Thank you :)
Guest 4: It's here! Hope you like it!
Guest 5: Thank you :)
sharonpijl: I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I love writing Kiah and Kol!
AnimaQueen: I'm so glad you like Kiah! I can't wait for them to officially meet too and hopefully it won't take too long to get there!
EverRose808: Neither can I, I've already written that scene too. Can't wait until I finally get to that chapter! :D
Hellish Will: It's finally here! And the next chapter is finished so it will be up within the next week!
Guest 6: It's finally here! Hope you enjoyed it!