Hello, my name is Teatime. But you already know that, don't you?
I've come to know your name, sir. And you wouldn't believe how much thought my... corkscrew mind had think to find a way to get this letter out of The World of the Dead. Which brings me to the topic of discussion:
I seldom like to leave a service incomplete, sir. However, it seems that I have. It's always terrible when friends don't keep up their end of the bargain, and I would just hate to be such a soul. So, sir, I am writing to ask for a little... leeway when it comes to Eternal Damnation, and a way to complete my work. I would so like to think of us as friends, but I doubt I can if I am kept here, in the Pits of Eternity.
Teatime
(teh-ah-tim-eh)
P.S. Also, there is the matter of my grave. As I understand it, it reads: 'Jonathon Teatime', yet unfortunately, many people seem to mistake the pronunciation of my name for the activity taking place at four o'clock in the afternoon. I would engrave the correct sounds into the stone myself, but in my current state that is rather impossible.