CHAPTER FOUR: Demons & Angels
Staring into the magnificent green orbs,I forget to breathe. My mind reels into a hyperactive search for the being those eyes belong to,but I already know. I outstretch my arm to touch his ivory skin and he leans forward into my palm and closes his eyes. His skin still feels like it had 5,000 years ago,soft and smooth like wave washed rocks. The heat beneath my hand sends shivers down my arm,warm because his heart still beats. Unlike mine. I mentally added as I caress his skin.
"You are so sluggish in the cold,yet so alive when indoors. Why is that?" Stanislav asked walking gracefully in the deep snow. Clutching my long fur'd jacket closer to my body I replied,"I don't know the answer to your question yet. But I will and when I do,you will know as well." Stanislav's eyes locked with mine as he transformed and began sprinting in the snow. "I am envious of your energy and ability to produce body heat you mangy mutt." I retorted while picking up a snowball and throwing it at him. Stanislav stopped and seemed to mockingly smile back.
"Stanislav..." I breathed out as I jumped forwards into his embrace. "Katia." Stas merely says back while caressing my back. Stepping backwards and smiling I ask,"How have you been? And what brings you to Canada?" "I've been fine. And I'm here for you of course." Stas says with a smirk. I raise my eyebrow and sarcastically add,"Yes because I am such magnificent company." Smiling once more Stanislav turns to head inside my apartment,but stopped abruptly. "Katia? She's...human." Stas questioned with concern. "And alive." I added while brushing past Stas sadly. "But you..." Stas starts and I cut in with "Are a monster." A frown comes upon Stanislav's face and he moves towards the couch to gaze upon the young girl. "You were never a monster,Katia." Stas says silently. Glancing at Stas as he says those words I quickly walk away into the kitchen. I was a monster Stas and you know it. But does one ever stop from being one? I question as I open the fridge and snatch a vial out. "How long has she been with you?" Stas asks from the living room. "A day." I answer while ripping open the packet. Bringing the packet to my mouth,I empty the cold liquid down my throat. "Why is she here?" Stas asks walking over to the kitchen and leaning on the counter. Why? Stopping to think a moment,with Stas's eyes boring me down. I could have left her,why didn't I? "Humanity is unique." You're right Stas,but why? Are they so unique because deep down we all wish we were human as well? Not bound to eternity. Not destined to loneliness. Able to fear death,not welcome it as salvation? "I don't really know..." I mutter out as I proceed to gulp down my cold meal.
Sitting on my bed with Stanislav's sleeping form beside me,nothing but darkness around me and silence since the heavy curtants are drawn.
"Well,what do you plan to do with her?" Stas asks running his hands through his hair. "I haven't really thought about that." I admitted,"But I can't keep her around. It's to dangerous." Stas thought for a moment and replied,"And why is that?" "Stas,you know why. It's because of what I am. What I do. How I live." I reply a little to harshly. "And you think because of all this you are incapable of loving a young human?" Stas stated while looking back to gaze at the young woman. "Yes. That and I don't want to...again."I spat out as I briskly walked from the kitchen to my bedroom. "Ahh yes,Rajiv. You told me of the young peasant boy." Stas remarked as he came into the room and closed the door behind us. "Love is but a trivial illusion." I said as I sat down on my bed. "But one worth going through." Stanislav added sitting on the bed as well. I thought about his remark for a moment then shook my head. For a change of conversation I asked,"So what have you been doing with yourself? You know it's been a while since we last saw each other." Stanislav closed his eyes and let his body fall backwards onto the bed. "Maybe when I awake I'll tell you of my journeys. For now I want to rest."Stas muttered as he curled up into my covers and pillows.
The darkness was like a black veil throughout the room,it was heavy and dense. As if you spoke no one would be able to hear it because the dark would drown it out. I was always more comfortable in the dark than in the light. And in every household I had lived in,I made sure to have heavy drapery in my sleeping quarters. Like the vampyres in all those hollywood movies. I let out a small chuckle. I slowly get up,as to not disturb Stanislav,and make my way to my bathroom. Closing the door behind me and turning on the faint light,I reach over and turn the shower's hot water on full blast. Undressing from my dark jeans,black t-shirt and silver/black sweater,I stare at myself in the mirror. My slate grey eyes are more silver now from my recent meal,making them look much larger against my pale skin. My long black hair still has caked blood in it and it looks a bit matted down. Sighing I close my eyes. Not a monster. I remind myself as I step into the steaming hot stream of water. The warmth feels wondrous all over my body,warming my muscles and flesh. Staring up at the ceiling I ask silently,"Kali Ma,have you truly answered my plea and sent Stanislav to me? Am I still under your grace?" As if expecting the goddess herself to appear I close my eyes.
When I open my eyes,I am no longer in the shower,but on a great plain. The green grass sways lightly with the soft breeze in the air. I feel her presence before I even see her. I turn and send my gaze to the earth. "Goddess Kali Ma." I answer with a slight bow. "Katia,my dear child."I hear her silky voice sway through the breeze,"Stand and look at me." Raising my eyes from the ground,I face her ebony orbs. Her long ebony hair flows behind her like a protective cloak. Her neck is adorned with beautiful ruby gems and a chain of skulls. Golden bangles cover her arms and in her hands she carries a sword and a beautiful round blue gem. "Kali Ma,I had thought you had forgotten about me." I admit as I look shamefully away. "No my dear,I have not forgotten you. You are always within my heart." she says with a great smile,"I would like you to look inside of this." Kali Ma hands me the round blue gem and says,"Humanity,like the heavens,has many colours and divisions. Each having it's own quality and characteristics. You're own quality is death. Where as humanity has life. But unlike you,they have the opportunity to expand and learn more. You have limited yourself." I stare into the gem and I can see thousands of stars,as if I were staring into a night sky. As I am entranced by the lights I ask,"But how do I limit myself?" But I receive no answer,because I am alone.
When I open my eyes again I am sitting on the floor of my shower,the warm water pouring over me. I limit myself? I question as I turn off the water and proceed to dry myself off. I towel dry my hair and wrap myself up as I walk into my bedroom and grab clothing to wear. I grab a pair of faded jeans,a tank top and a black hoodie. Pulling my clothing on,I glance into the mirror and decided to put on some silvery grey eyeshadow and mascara. Coming out of the bathroom and into the living room I am greeted by Alexandria. "Good morning." she murmurs as she rubs sleep out of her eyes. I look at the young woman as if she has spoken another language and then quickly respond with,"More like afternoon." Just as I get to my arm chair and sit down with my laptop,Stanislav comes out of the room half dressed. His long and lean torso uncovered as he shakes water from his bangs. Alexandria squeaks with surprise then is drawn to his uncovered upper torso. "Alexandria,this is Stanislav or Stas for short. He's a close friend of mine." I interrupt. "Yeah,close friend for sure.." I hear Alexandria murmur under her breath. I silently glare at her from my post. I have never slept with him. I spit angrily. "Hi,Alexandria?It is nice to meet you." I hear Stas say with his charm oozing off every word. It's a wonder I haven't killed myself from disgust at how women throw themselves at him. Such a man-whore. I muse with a slight smirk. "Are you hungry?I'll take you down to this restaraunt I saw last night." Stas says with a smile as she nods in response. "Would you like to join us as well?" Stas asks as if unsure of what to call me in front of her. I simply nod to response of his silent question and then add quickly,"No,I've got somethings to do. Go on ahead." Stanislav then disappears into my bedroom and comes out wearing a long black trench coat with a dark purple sweater and faded grey jeans on. As they leave the small apartment,Stas cracking a few jokes,I turn up the volume on my laptop and set the song Arising by Archeon blaring. Out of all the genres of the centuries,Melodic Black Metal has inspired me with how the musicians incorporate classical into their pieces. And the vocals had always reminded me of angels and demons,not at war but living together in peace. As the music drowns on,I scan the net for my next destination.