IV
By now it was late 1883 and Ruth felt ill. She knew this feeling before. She could place it. She was pregnant again. This time was different. Very different. She felt weak, perhaps too weak to stand. Samuel had her confined to her bed. She was miserable, and by January, 1884 she was getting larger.
"Hmm, I wasn't this large when I was pregnant before. I must be carrying twins. It has to be." She thought to herself. It pained her to move, but she managed. She wondered how the outside world was, and how she would manage to reenter it when the pregnancy concluded. She painted whenever she had the chance. She painted the scenes outside her bedroom windows. Samuel was quite impressed with them. He complimented his wife whenever he had the chance.
Then came the day. June 10th, 1884 was the day in which twins Sabrina and Louisa came into the world. They were healthy and heavy. Sabrina weighed 8 pounds, Louisa weighed 8 and a half.
"They're beautiful." Samuel said as he held Louisa. These girls would surely turn everyone's heads. The children were the most important things in their lives. Ruth wanted the twins to be raised to follow their dreams. Samuel wanted to err on the side of caution. Harriet was a bouncing girl of two, Samuel three and a half. They welcomed the two new arrivals. Unfortunately, Ruth would take almost no part in the daily care of the twins; that would be left to the nurses and nanny. She wanted to have direct control. Control of feeding them, clothing them, loving them.
Samuel and Harriet were often whisked away when Ruth had her dark days following the pregnancy. The house settled into its rhythm again. Then came that day when an errand boy from Samuel's parents knocked on the door.
"Is Mr. Bukater here? He must come quickly; his mother is ill."
Samuel heard the boy. He didn't want to respond, but he did out of his heart.
"I'll be along. Ruth?" He called.
"Yes?" She replied.
"I'm going to my parents house, my mother has taken ill." He said.
She wanted to roll her eyes, but didn't. She had control. She sent her husband off with a nod. She heard Sabrina crying in the nursery, and rushed up to see her. She picked the infant up and held her. She had her mother's face, but her father's hair: black as coal. She kissed the baby. Suddenly a nurse appeared.
"Oh no Miss Ruth, let me handle her." The nurse took the baby. Ruth looked dejected. She didn't have control now. Not now. She went to find Harriet, she was asleep in her crib. She woke up, as though she knew her mother was there.
"Mama!" She said almost squealing.
"Shh, baby. Don't be too loud. Mama's here." Ruth whispered as she picked the toddler up out of her crib. She held Harriet to her chest. The child became placid, as if she expected her mother to do this. Ruth began to sing a simple song to the child, perhaps one her own mother had used when she was Harriet's age. Ruth took the child over to the area of the nursery where the toys were kept. Harriet had to play with all of the toys in the chest. To Ruth, this was a proud moment; one where the nannies and nurses couldn't rip the child away. Harriet was Ruth's first daughter, and she wished to bring her up better than she had been brought up. The Bukater's now had four children: Samuel, Harriet, Sabrina, and Louisa. Ruth wished to keep the family this size, but Samuel of course wanted more.
A knock on the door snapped Ruth out of her reverie. It was the nanny. She looked disappointed, as though she might be fired.
"I'm playing with Harriet right now. I'm sure Sabrina and Louisa need to be looked after." The nanny curtsied and left the area. Ruth did not wish to be distracted, especially when it came to her children. She once again had control. For future children, she wished to control every aspect of their lives, not as her parents had done, but just enough control so that her children would lead full lives and be successful parents of children of their own.
Some time later, Ruth was back in the sitting room reading a passage from her book. Samuel entered the room; a smile on his face.
"How is my darling wife this afternoon?" He asked.
Ruth smiled.
"I'm doing well, I had a good romp with Harriet this afternoon. How is your mother?" She asked.
"Her old witchy self. Although her coughing is getting worse. She probably won't last the month."
"Oh Samuel, that's horrible. Don't you at least care for your mother?"
"I do, but her ways have caught up to her. The devil won't get any condolences from me." He said with a spring in his voice. He truly disliked his mother, especially for events when he was younger. He always ran to his father whenever she would get drunk on laudanum. His father wished to have his wife locked away, and society wouldn't have thought twice; but being the good husband he was, he put up with it.
Dinner that night was a quiet affair. Ruth picked at her food.
"Have you ever considered moving out west?" Ruth asked her husband.
"Why would we? It's dreadful country out there. Once you're past Saint Louis, there's really nothing."
"I've always wanted to see California." Ruth said glumly.
"Someday we will." Samuel replied.
"But I wish to see it sooner. Perhaps you could ship goods to California?"
"That's an idea. From there, the orient. Ruth, you are very right."
"I think if your company were to ship overland via the railroad, and those goods reach San Francisco; they could be shipped all over the Pacific."
"I'll make note of your idea. To think, your parents said you weren't particularly intelligent. You have proved them wrong."
"Do you think the children will be as intelligent as we are?"
"Quite possibly. Get them into the right schools and universities and they will no doubt be directing us when we're old and gray."
The pace of dinner picked up. Soon it was time for Samuel to retire to his club and for Ruth to spend the evening in her boudoir. As Ruth slept that night she dreamed of her happy family going to Europe. They would be the talk of the town, all the other children would want to be them. But there was a twinge of fear. One of the children was rebellious and did not listen to her mother. It seemed she was the talk of all of Philadelphia. She was disrespectful to her family, to her fiance, and of all things her parents. It woke Ruth up from a deep sleep. She began to cry. Here lay the seeds of the person she wanted to be, and this child, this being was to defy her. She would control this dream child, if it killed her or not.