Pidge almost shrieked when she blinked open her eyes. They'd been sucked underground in a matter of seconds; Hunk had tried to pull away by anchoring to the jutting stone he'd tripped on with one hand and grabbing onto Pidge's arm with his other hand, but the alien glob simply sucked the stone right along with them.
They somehow slipped right through the thick crust of the planet and made it out alive without being crushed by the shifting force of the planet's gravity.
And Pidge couldn't believe her eyes.
There was a whole city buzzing away beneath the slime-ridden land they'd been trekking above. And it was like a whole other planet. No skies swarming with white, steaming clouds, no roads oozing with dark, sticky muck, no fire-breathing bird aliens with red wings and black beaks. Scans from her helmet told her the temperature here had risen several degrees, but Pidge had already made that assumption after taking one look at the glowing, steaming red rock that enveloped the new civilization they'd fallen into.
Hunk was equally flabbergasted, pointing at the assorted machinery that churned and whirred and gyrated below like they were structures someone had pulled right out of a steampunk landscape, remarking on every detail that came into sight. Massive airships built with what Pidge could only guess was scrapped alien tech parts floated languidly through the air.
"Oh, man, I wish Lance could see this right now! This looks just like that one place in that Rise of Nations game. No, Guns of Icarus! It's like Guns of Icarus! Look at that airship. A-And that tech! I think I'm gonna cry."
"Please don't."
"And wow, it looks like they use the white smoke from the other side of the planet to get everything running. And what's that airship sending up the pipes? I wonder if there's some symbiotic relationship that keeps these two worlds running co-dependently."
That peaked her interest. "Hey, yeah! They're pumping black sludge up the pipes. What do you think that is?"
"Probably a by-product. But of what is the real question."
Their childlike blabbering died off quickly, however, for the brief moment of floating above the city burst like a bubble when the purple glob encapsulating them suddenly plummeted straight down below.
"YOUR BAYARD!" Hunk screamed shrilly. "USE YOUR BAYARD!"
"I CAN'T!"
"WHY NOT?!"
"I DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE!"
The two screamed bloody murder as they shot straight down from the sky. Quickly, the sight of a barren, charred road flanked on either side by rows of short, stocky buildings came into view, and it was very clear to the two that they were going to crash rigHT INTO THE GROUND OH MY GOD—
Suddenly, a rumbling, squelching sound started squishing into their ears. Wet sucking sounds from below gave enough squick that Pidge knew all too well what would soon come long before Hunk started heaving next to her.
"DON'T DO IT WHILE WE'RE TRAPPED INSIDE!"
Hunk answered with a sickened groan, eyes shut and face losing his healthy pallor. Another heave rolled out, and Hunk slapped both hands right over his mouth as he hunched forward.
From the corner of her eye, Pidge caught splashes of color and awkward, jerky movements. Straight below, small globs of purple goo started coming together, amassing quickly in the center of the charred road below — right where they were to land.
They came from all corners of the area, seeping and sucking one another into a single mass, and soon it was as big as one of their houses.
The timing was perfect; Pidge and Hunk screamed one last time as they plummeted right down. But instead of splattering into a mess of fleshy gore, they were sucked right into the new gelatinous mass. Their movements halted, and Pidge had only a moment's warning before the force with which they had been thrown into the bed of goo came back on them, and soon they were shot a good distance up in the air.
When they landed a second time, it was on smaller, lumpy masses of purple; the large mass was scattering, and some had been kind enough to following the trajectory of their fall and collect them in their safe, squishy arms.
Er… "arms," Pidge amended mentally.
Not surprisingly, Pidge heard the unmistakable sounds of Hunk emptying his stomach a few steps away. Pidge herself tried not to do the same, especially when the slow globs suddenly slid rapidly towards the ooze of vomit and start to absorb Hunk's past few meals.
"Ugggh… I think I'm gonna be sick again," said Hunk miserably.
Pidge looked away quickly, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths of clean oxygen provided by her mask until the slight trembling of her stomach settled peacefully.
When she opened her eyes next, she was greeted with the sight of purple goo piled up to what would probably be her height if she were to stand straight. A bulge of goo started to protrude somewhere right in the middle, and Pidge watched with curious horror as it started to grow longer and longer and extended right in front of her face.
"Gaaaaaaannnnnn," it moaned. "Sssnnnnsshhhhhiiiiiiiikkkkk," came the following garble.
Pidge stared at the creature with wide eyes.
"Oh, man," said Hunk, gasping for breath as he recovered from his vomiting. "I think we landed harder than we thought. My comm's busted. Pidge, what'd it say?"
Pidge started fumbling with the controls on her helmet. "I-I think mine's broken too. I can't—I don't know what it's—"
"Aaaaalteaaaaannnnn… Teeeecccccccch…" it suddenly said, sounding for all intents and purposes as if it were an exhausted, dying old man. "Saaaalutaaaationnnnnns…"
"Uh, hi" said Hunk.
"Reeeetuuuuuurn myyyy broooootherrrrrrr…." it gasped, the protruding tentacle of slime jutting against the front of Pidge's uniform.
Pidge yelped and slapped both hands over her chest. "Hey!" she cried, affronted. "Y-You can't just—"
The tentacle retracted immediately. "Apoooologiieeeeesss," said the pile of goo. "Noooo harrrm inteeendeeeeddddd… Pleaaaaase retuuuuurn myyy broooootherrrr…"
Hunk and Pidge looked at each other.
Pidge withdrew a vial from the front pocket of her uniform. Inside was a sample of the substance leaking out from Lance's ears. She held it out hesitantly. "Is… Is this what you're talking about?"
All of a sudden, the vial burst. Pidge gave a shocked step backwards, and Hunk stepped forward to stand beside her. The sample of good dropped to the ground, squiggling into the charred ground upon which they stood.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh…" the pile of goo sighed, deflating slightly and bouncing back erect. "Thaaaaaaank youuuuuu, Aaalteaan ssooldier, for escorting my precious brother back home. It is most appreciated! The civilization of Zek'kom extends our gratitude. The Xernii will conquer once again! Hurrah!Hurrah!"
"Hurrah!" came a chorused reply. Now massing at every window, door, and balcony of the buildings were masses of purple goo, waving thin tendrils and throwing shimmering powder into the air.
Pidge stared open-mouthed at the scene playing in front of them.
"Well, this is new," Hunk quipped. A small glob of purple good came to settle at his foot. "Hey, there, kiddo," he cooed. It gurgled in response and climbed up his leg. "Whoa, uh. You're kinda fast for a blob of mucous, aren't ya?"
"Valiant soldiers! We thank you again. How can we ever repay your kindness?"
Pidge looked over her shoulder to Hunk to see if he wanted to relay the information. Her face fell when she saw what Hunk was doing.
"Hey, don't do that— I can't see!" Hunk clomped awkward along the charred road, the little glob expanding over its face and gurgling as it drooled. He reached with his hands and tried to pull it off. When he touched the slime, the glob squeaked in surprised and froze. "Oops. Sorry. Was that your butt?"
Pidge turned back to the supposed leader of the Xernii. "Well, we wanted to ask about—"
"Ah-bupbup!" A tendril suddenly squashed against the front of Pidge's helmet. "My apologies, but we must first insist that you drink this."
With a wet cough and a hack, the slime creature deposited two mucousy drops of goo into a hollowed stone it seemingly picked up out of nowhere. It offered one to Pidge, then extended a second tendril to Hunk.
"Drink, please! Don't hold back!" The tip leaned close, and the voice continued, hushed, "For prolonged exposure to our planet's gasses can be quite poisonous for a creature of your water content."
Pidge stared at the substance as Hunk panicked in the background.
"What?!" Hunk exclaimed, cradling the little goo in his hands. "But we've got helmets on! Oh my god, how long have we even been here for? What if— What if the effects are irreversible?! What if—"
"Calm down," said Pidge, taking an empty jar from her pack and unscrewing the airtight lid. "I hope I don't offend," she said, as she let the mucous from her stone cup drip into the jar. "But we can't drink without taking off our helmets. And I'd rather not take it off if what you say is true."
"Not to worry!" the creature replied, almost brimming with energy. "But if that is the case, I do urge you to make haste with your departure. I would rather send our new allies off in tiptop shape than see them suffer from the gasses."
Pidge thought of how quickly and suddenly Keith and Lance had passed out on their ship. "What kinds of effects could the gasses cause?"
"Oh, they are mild. Fever, a bit of a cough, some dizzyness… Also, hysteria and hallucination. Death, too. Though, I hear that one's rare."
Pidge and Hunk looked to each other in alarm.
"But don't worry. If you were prone to be affected on the more extreme end of the spectrum, symptoms would have started already. Quite joyously for you, they're all reversible and simple to treat. Except death. That one's kind of permanent."
The two paladins heaved a heavy sigh of relief.
"Mm, but there is one other condition that happens, according to tales from out yonder. I hear that in some water bodies, the gasses create a peculiar reaction… Behaving almost like an aphrodisiac."
Pidge and Hunk stared at the slime creature for a few seconds. They stared at each other. Then, Hunk grabbed the airtight jar in Pidge's hands, uncapped it, and held it out to the Xernii leader.
"Yeah, uh, we're gonna need, like, a dozen more of your snot balls, please?"