It was the day after and thanks to Buffy he had gotten a little more sleep. Buffy had left to go to class a few hours ago and he was sitting there holding the baby wondering what he was going to do about her. She needed things, but he only needed to buy them if he was going to keep her.

He couldn't believe it had only been 36 hours since she had been put on his doorstep. He wasn't sure what the laws were but he was pretty sure that he should probably work on getting her a birth certificate soon. But in order to get her a birth certificate he would need to give her a name and in order to give her a name he should keep her…In order to keep her he needed money to buy the things she needed...he didn't even have a job at the moment. All this kept going around in around in his head in circles, making him crazy. It was all he could think about as the baby woke up and went back to sleep the whole day.

Dawn walked in the doorway a couple hours later and looked at the baby in his arms for a long moment. Thank goodness that the baby at the moment was asleep. She stepped slowly in but didn't say anything, just kept on looking at the baby girl in his arms and back at him. He wasn't' sure what she was thinking and he was still a bit too tired to try to guess. If she had something to say to him then she would eventually say it.

"So, she might be your daughter?" he looked down at the baby in his arms.

"Yeah." If she really was his daughter, how could he even think of giving her away? But shouldn't he? He no money, no place, and didn't even know for sure that he was holding his daughter. Xander really wished that someone would just tell him what to do, take the decision out of his own inept hands but he couldn't ask Dawn. Dawn was even younger than he was and didn't deserve for him to even ask her opinion at the moment. Dawn nodded and made her way out of the room.

A few hours later Mrs. Summers walked into the room filling Xander with gratitude that the baby was sleeping, so that she didn't have to come home only to help him, at least right away.

"She asleep?" she asked and Xander nodded. Mrs. Summers nodded and Buffy came into the room behind her.

"Buffy offered to babysit while we went to go buy things for the baby." Xander blinked at her, then said "Thanks." Xander got dressed into real clothes when he realized he was still wearing athletic pants and an old t-shirt. He made his way to Mrs. Summers's car. If he were to keep her a car was just another thing he needed...that he couldn't afford. Joyce drove him and while she did Xander got lost in his thoughts again about what was the best thing for the little girl he was currently taking of.

He still had no idea when the car stopped, he just jumped when something made contact with his shoulder. When he realized it was Joyce's hand on his shoulder, telling him that they were there, he smiled sheepishly. Xander nodded and made his way out of the store.

Once they made their way inside, Joyce immediately grabbed the cart and set out quickly causing Xander to jog a bit once in awhile to keep up with her... until they got to the baby furniture center. His eyes zeroed in on the prices, he swallowed hard, and tried to stop the tears coming into his eyes.

"I can't afford any this," he said numbly. Even if they accepted payment plans, which he was sure they didn't, he still wouldn't be able to afford it. Joyce turned from the shelf and gave him a reassuring smile.

"It's okay, we'll get it used."

"Yeah..." His eyes started becoming blurry, he blinked the tears back, he couldn't cry in the baby aisle of a department store.

"Xander, are you okay?" Xander shook his head not wanting to lie but not trusting himself to speak. He was still exhausted, having only slept a few hours last night, at least that's what he told himself for wanting to cry in the middle of a very public store. Joyce put her hand on his shoulder again.

"It's going to be okay." Xander shook his head, it didn't feel like it was going to be okay.

"Even if you can't afford items you have to buy more diapers and formula." Xander nodded.

"Why is formula so expensive?" Joyce shrugged. As Xander picked up more diapers and formula, he looked longingly at the baby toy aisle. He wished he could buy her something, even a tiny toy rattle, but he didn't have enough money for toys even if he somehow managed to have enough money for everything else. If he was going to keep her he had to get a job and a babysitter for all the time he was at work. How in the world was this going to work?

He made his way to the front of the store and stood in line. Joyce looked at him in a way that was meant to be reassuring but it didn't really work. Mentally he started counting up the money this little shopping trip was going to cost him and how little he had for everything else. When it was his turn his eyes were glued to the cash register as the numbers keep coming onto the screen. He dreaded the final number and winced when it came he couldn't even afford basic necessities for a baby than how in the world was he supposed to raise her?

He pulled out his debit card wishing he had a credit card. Xander was 18 years old but he didn't have a steady job and he was pretty sure that was a requirement for a credit card. He had never thought he needed one until now; he didn't have a lot of expenses until now. Rent? Yes, plus food and snack and hanging out funds. Those had been nearly depleted already. He took the few bags in his hands wondering how it could be so expensive? He and Mrs. Summers made their way back to his car.

"Do you know where a store like you were talking about is?"

"Yeah," at Xander's look she explained, "it's on my way to work." Xander nodded, he looked out the window again only really able to think about the money. Whoever said money wasn't everything didn't have a brand new infant to take of and no permanent job. The car stopped again Goodwill, great just when he thought he was done shopping there. He should have know it was Goodwill, he was well acquainted with the store.

With his Mom and Dad always drinking away all their money, most of the time, they managed to pay their utilities before drinking the rest away, but sometimes even then they didn't. They often used the rest of the money to buy beer and sometimes food too. There wasn't much money left after all that for clothes. Which was why he always wore horrendous clothes because they were always the cheapest clothes he could find at Goodwill. He was just glad that his friends just thought he was unfashionable rather than poor. He knew where the baby section was in the store, even if he had never really looked at the section before.

His eyes scanned the prices of the items that he needed. The prices in this store were much better but still he wasn't sure if he could afford all of it. He wished he had saved more of his money instead of spending it on junk food. Mrs. Summers had a shopping cart and started filling the shopping cart with things like a car seat, stroller, diaper bag. changing table, and a crib.

He tried to think of how much money he had and how much all of this was going to cost him. He needed everything but he was going to have to take out a few things since he couldn't afford it all, Unfortunately, he didn't know what to take out. Which was when Mrs. Summers came up to him as he had his hands combing through the cart looking for at least one item to take out.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't afford all of this stuff. I'm going to have to put something back... maybe two something's."

"I'll pay for anything you can't afford"

"But Mrs. Summers you've already-"

"Xander," her tone left no room for argument.

"I'll pay you back," he promised weakly and hoped that he wasn't lying.

"If you can," she replied simply. He was grateful for her and ashamed at the same time that she had to be helping him. She wasn't even related to him, all he was her daughter's friend.

The next night was very, very, long. The baby didn't go to sleep for a long time. He spent most of the night trying to get the baby, who was still nameless, go to sleep.

It was nearly 4 AM and Xander hadn't slept at all. His eyes were red-rimmed and irritated but despite that he tried to be soothing even as he felt like crying himself. The door was closed. He hoped that Mrs. Summer's would stay asleep, though he knew she must be really tired to be sleeping through all the noise the little girl was making.

Maybe he should give her up? He thought yet again. Either way he had to get her a birth certificate and himself a real job as soon as possible. Of course a birth certificate was problematic, because he would either have to give her up or raise her on his own. It seemed crazy that he was even considering the idea, especially since he didn't have the resources, or any experience with this kind of things. He had no brother or sister and while all his cousins lived close they were all older than him and...drunks.

But he really cared for the little girl, even as she kept screaming her lungs out. He really wanted her to stay, regardless of the fact that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Xander suddenly realized that the baby was no longer crying and managed to fall asleep.

She was so small, so innocent. He stared at her for a long moment before remembering that she was asleep and he really should take advantage while he could. He put her back in the playpen as he hadn't really had time yet to put the crib together as they had to take it apart to get it into the car. Xander collapsed onto the spare bedroom's bed and gazed up at the ceiling for a short moment before his eyes fell closed and he fell asleep.