you almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm
red flashing lights
well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
and let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
so I could shut you out
and let you go away for a long time
Buried Myself Alive - The Used
Light. There was that blinding light again. It shone on her face, and though her eyes were closed she could feel it piercing her eyeballs. She furrowed her brow and tried to open her eyes. She was surprised that her eyelids felt like tiny boulders on her face and decided to be complacent with eyes closed for now. She felt warmth on her face, and realized that the light was merely sunlight. She lie there for a few moments, listening to the sounds of the room. She heard snoring, and with the light shining in her face it made her head begin to hurt. "Alistair, roll over…." She creaked, surprised by how dry her mouth was. The snoring stopped for a moment, and then resumed. She noticed it was not quite the same pitch. The pounding in her head became more prominent, and she became aware of the state of her body. Her arm from shoulder to wrist felt like it had been replaced with a burning piece of wood, and her midsection felt as if a swarm of angry bees had been loosed upon it. She tried to sit up but realized that she could not. And still someone continued on with all that damned snoring.
"For the love of Andraste, would you wake up?" she asked, forcing her voice out. The snoring stopped abruptly, and she sighed contentedly. "Thank the maker…" she squeaked. She forced her eyes open now, and was greeted by a world that exsisted in a blurr of hazy watercolors. "Tamlen?" she asked, her head clouding with confusion. "I have heard this name several times while you slept, but sorry to disappoint you. I am no Tamlen." She recognized this voice and felt welcomed by the thick Antivan accent. "Zevran? Where in heavens name are we?" The Antivan elf smiled to himself, looking down at his friend with affection. "We are in the former Residence of Howe, the King gave it to the Grey Warden's upon the cessation of the Blight. Wynne brought you here. Apparently the Grey Warden's had an excellent physician and since the castle's healers were not making progress, she felt they deserved a try." She blinked again, trying to think through the cloud of pain. "That means they have already arrived rom Weisshaupt," a journey that would have taken several weeks. "How long have I been out?"
"Eighteen long days." Zevran replied. "I told them they had but to let me kiss you, and you would have awakend sooner. But everytime I try Wynne gives me such a lecture. I keep trying to tell them that when you are as pretty as I the girls wish to awaken by your kiss." Edana smiled to herself through the fog of pain, she was glad Zevran would never change. Zevran observed her, and sighed inwardly. He could not tell why, but he harbored such affection for the Warden, seeing her awake made him feel as if a thousand pounds had been lifted from his heart. He knew her love for Alistair was great, and he vowed to be her friend. But feeling drawn to her was something he could not help. She had been the first real friend he had ever had. "Why does it feel as if I have been swimming in a pool filled with wasps…" she asked him, disrupting his train of thought. "Well, you did fight a dragon. Did you expect to charge into battle and come out uninjured? Surely that would be something Alistair would have thought and not you." He smirked at her. Edana felt her breath catch in her throat at the mention of his name. She pushed herself past it, and inquired as to her state. "So my injuries were extensive then?" Zev noticed her change of subject and noted it silently. "You could say that. They say your arm was broken quite well, and Wynne thinks you may have cracked your head a bit hard. Not to mention the broken ribs. I was right, you are very hard to kill." Little beads of perspiration had started to gather on her forehead. "Now, if you will excuse me I think I shall fetch the physician. Sweating is not become of a lady, unless she is accompanying me to my tent…."
Edana groaned at his jokes, but welcomed them. Annoyance meant she would live, and she could handle that gladly. "Would you like me to send word to the King and Queen that you are awake?" Zevran asked. Edana felt as if someone had punched her in the stomache. "Queen? The wedding is already over?" Zevran felt a pang of regret for a fleeting moment, and then took full advantage of the situation. "Yes, it was a hurried ceremony. Apparently your simpleminded friend is no good at leading, and his new bride is. They wanted to make it official quickly so he could get back to doing a whole lot of nothing. They have taken a royal honeymoon to Highever, but I am certain a messenger could catch up with them there." Edana fought back tears, and found that doing so only made her head hurt worse. She noticed she was now trembling from the pain. "So shall I send word?" he asked again, holding the door open now. "No. Zevran I would prefer it if we kept this to ourselves." He felt a surge of hope, and stepped from the room. Edana was awake long enough to drink a potion before falling back into deep sleep for another two days.
In the coming of weeks, she began to slowly recover. She found herself being visited by all sorts of new faces, coming to know them as her comrades from another world. They were all in the same order together, and she accepted them as brethren. After a while she was able to get out of bed and move about, though she was still sore. Wynne clucked over her like a mother hen, and she was welcomed by the fact that her travel mates had remained with her. The man that led the movement of wardens was a burly berserker name Marik. He was about the size of Sten, though obviously human. He reminded her daily of how he could not believe a girl as tiny as he had defeated the Archdemon. On the eve of her first meeting, she gazed into a sea of faces that were painted with questions. How had she survived killing it? She waved it off as if she didn't know. They asked what she planned to do, looking to her as their new leader. She cleared her throat, and looked out over the sea of faces. "We rebuild. We survive. We protect the innocent people of this land from the Darkspawn." Approval shone on the faces of those in front of her. "We will set up an Official Headquarters at Soldier's Peak. It has been regained and it threat free. It will serve our needs now as it did in days of old. The compound in Denerim will be run by Marik."
Several days later, she was leading a party of Warden's through the Ferelden countryside on horseback. She was a bit angered that they would not let her travel as they did, and she was forced to sit on such a large animal, but agreed after a while it was necessary. Though it did anger her tender ribs. Shale, Zevran, and her hound were the only ones that decided to accompany her and the new Wardens to their keep. On the third day, after the camp had been set up, Shale approached Edana. "Why does it suddenly travel without the other Warden?" Edana looked at shale with confusion. "There are Warden's a-plenty here Shale, has your eyesight gone bad?" The Golem huffed, "I see other Wardens, but I was talking about the loud and obnoxious one. Why does it suddenly leave it behind? Surely it needs to stand beside it and hold it's hand. Leaving a Kingdom to one such as it is seems an irresponsible decision." Zevran was seated on the other side of Edana, being the only person she knew well here. He saw a line of color rise from her neck to the tips of her elfin ears. "If you are talking of Alistair, he has a wife now, Shale. I have no doubt that the new Queen is more than capable of assisting him… Or making rational decisions." Shale regarded his friend with a certain curiosity. "Is this what they call jealousy? Surely it is not jealous of the human woman. Now it does not have to hear the simple-one's terrible puns." Zevran let out a laugh from where he sat next to her, nearly choking on the rabbit leg he was eating. She shot him a nasty glare, and then answered Shale. "No Shale, this is not jealousy. Alistair is King now, and he has duties to attend to elsewhere. I am Senior Grey Warden and I have my own duties to attend to. I do not have time to compete with the likes of human politics when there are far more pressing issues at hand. Shale grew silent for a moment before ending with "Well, it is good the obnoxious one is gone. It often made me feel as if I needed to crush its head in it's sleep…"
Alistair locked himself in his room, and let out a simple sigh of relief. He had been forced to travel the countryside with Anora for six long months. Being married to her was just as terrible as he thought it would be, as she was constantly nagging at him. When they were but a few days from Denerim, she began lecturing him on how he behaved at Arl Mcneil's house, and how he should be taking more interest in the events of the land. By that point he was so sick of her that he would have given his crown to the nearest beggar if he would be freed of her. "I thought you wanted to lead this kingdom?" He snarled at her. "Why can't you be as Cailan was?" She asked him, "He atleast was fit to rule. I'll never be able to figure out why the Landsmeet decided to thrust you upon the throne…" Alistair sighed. Atleast they had one hard part out of the way. Despite the fact that he had the Taint, Alistair proved to be fertile. Queen Anora had greeted him with the news of the coming child several months after their marriage. Now all he had to do was pray it was a male child and they would never have to endure each other's bedtime company again. He often sent word to the Warden's compound, attempting to have news on Edana's health. He had received word not long after she had awakened that her health was improving. Now that they were home in Denerim, he would go to see her. He longed to hold her, to kiss her, and to just be alone with her even if it was for a few moments.
"What do you mean she's gone?" He spluttered at Marik, looking at the man as if he had her stashed in the closet and refused to tell him. Marik regarded the kind with annoyance painted on his very large features. "What did she do, turn into a bloody bird and just high tail it out of here" Marik growled at Alistair. "She is the Head Warden, she goes where she pleases." "So you mean to tell me that you let her just flutter on out of her while she was still injured. And why haven't I been consulted on this? Isn't this something that comes with being King? Information and all that rot?" Marik looked at him with amusement showing on his features. "King maybe, but you are still Junior Warden. You needn't know anything other than where to point your sword." As he left Alistair couldn't help but feel lost.