I know! over a month since last update, so sorry, I've just not been feeling my best. But here it is! next chapter after this one should be a good one hopefully! This one's a bit... meh? Anyway, happy reading! (Or not so happy, given what's been happening to Connor in this story so far... oh well)

A week or so had gone by since Connor and Lester's talk and everything was almost back to normal. There had only been one anomaly in the past few days and the team had managed to stabilise it quickly - ensuring no creatures had come through - and Connor's relationship with Lester had not changed one bit since the older man had found out about the mental illness.

Connor had nearly expected to be babied. Or worse still, he had been expecting to be watched constantly by a worried Lester every waking second. Thankfully, neither had happened. Lester seemed to be carrying on as normal, even though inside he was terrified of what the black haired man might do to himself as he knew what any sort of depression did to a person.

In all honesty, Connor was... disappointed somewhat that Lester wasn't showing his worry. It's not that he wanted him to show his worry, of course not, but maybe he did...

He shook the thoughts out of his head to deal with another time as they were too confusing to think about at work. Most likely, he'd think about it tonight when he was alone, and most likely, he'd deal with the thoughts the only way he knew how: to forget them using pain.

However, they wouldn't leave. A voice whispered to Connor: No one cares about you. It made him jump slightly in his chair and the young man looked around to see if anyone else had heard it... apparently not for everyone was still going about their own business. No one cares, it hissed again and Connor felt his breath hitch. Over and over, it repeated the line, drilling it into Connor's head, until finally:

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

Connor opened his eyes and found that he was standing. He also realised that everyone was now staring at him, including Abby. Oh God... She was going to think he was mental or something (which he was, but he daren't admit it).

"Connor? Are... you okay?" Abby said hesitantly, walking over.

Quickly, he put on a smile and said: "Yes, sorry, I'm fine. Just got a little noisy in here." He chuckled but he wasn't in it; inside he was scanning his ex-roommate's face for signs that she knew that he'd heard voices. Luckily, there was only confusion in Abby's blue eyes.

"O-kay," she said, elongating the 'oh'.

"I'm going to go... to the bathroom, yes, now if you'll excuse me, Abby," Connor gave her his cheekiest smile, clenched his fists as his hands were still trembling, and dashed past her towards the ARC's toilets.

He breathed out heavily as he got inside and leant against the white door. Shaking hands ran over his face so he went over to a grotty sink to splash a little bit of freezing water on himself. Suddenly, a loud knock on the door nearly made him jump out of his skin. However, he was even more surprised to find out who the knock belonged to.

"Connor, it's Lester. I saw what happened, could you let me in?" Lester was about to add on a 'please', but that wasn't really his style, especially around his employees. The dark haired man shook his head. Feeling the silence, Lester spoke again, softer this time: "I just want to talk, nothing to do with dinosaurs or future predators, nothing scary."

"I think I'd prefer a dinosaur right now," the younger man said quietly, opening the door slowly.

"I can imagine you would actually..." Lester looked at the floor as he stepped in, then stood awkwardly and scuffed his polished shoe on the shiny floor, making it squeak quietly.

"You want to know what happened."

It wasn't a question, Connor just assumed that as people are naturally curious, Lester would be too.

Connor hated it. Connor hated that people were naturally inquisitive and had to know everything about everybody else before anybody else knew. To him, it was a humans fatal flaw. Fair enough, humans can question life, death, science, religion, be curious about anything... except other humans. People's business is their own, Connor thought, and unless someone gets told directly about something because that person wants another know or deserves to know, just leave it alone.

"I know you shouted at something that wasn't there, and I watched as you talked to Abby. You were shaking, much like you are now." Lester gestured to Connor's balled fists. "You know, I searched psychotic depression the other day... Is this the beginning of an episode?"

Connor sighed deeply and looked at Lester, half wishing he'd leave it alone and half wishing he could spill out his heart and tell him everything without feeling guilty or mad as a hatter.

"I think it is. Yes. My episodes... they usually last a few weeks, but build up until I go completely crazy which only lasts for at most, a day, depending on who's there with me to help."

Without wanting to offend, Lester attempted to ask what 'completely crazy' meant. He was cut off just as he opened his mouth, however, as if Connor knew what he was about to say.

"Completely crazy is not knowing what's real and what's not. It's not being able to hear and sometimes see anything that isn't a hallucination. Even if it's real sometimes I still think my mind's playing tricks on me," Connor laughed, but it was void of all emotion.

"I'm sorry."

Dark eyes snapped upwards to meet Lester's emerald ones.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm here for you, remember, always. When... 'completely crazy' hits, I'll be there." Lester expanded, seeing Connor's confused look.

Connor just wished it would be someplace where he wouldn't have to face anyone other than Lester. He could feel it brewing inside him like a volcano ready to erupt, more vicious than any before...