Hey guys, I know it has been awhile and I'm really sorry. Life hasn't been all that good lately, so even though Fortis was screaming at me to tell her story, I just couldn't put my fingers to keys. I hope you guys forgive me. And I hope you love her as much as I do.

Fortis's POV

I lay in the bed of the 'Star Room', on my back, looking up into the ceiling of crystal that had, for some unknown reason, been worn away enough that it had become as clear as a pane of glass. The moon was high in the sky just above, filling the area around me with a milky light, but even that could not dim the stars. The view of the stars here was unlike anything else I had ever seen before, so bright and sparkling mixed in with the black of the night and sometimes even the colors of wandering star dust.

When I had first come to this place with my father I had been struck by the raw beauty of it, by the passion that had been put into making the walls and rooms. Everything here was handmade. From the sheets that I was lying on the castle walls that encased me. Every single thing had effort, time, and love put into by the people that lived here every day. Money was not part of this society, and it ran like this better than any other society could in its place. But even with that awe came fear and uncertainty. Breck and Kly were the two kings royal songs, then came Kira, Violet, and Lisa, who had just been born when I had come to visit last time. All five of them put out this air of such gracefulness that it was mesmerizing just watching them, the girls with their hair of brown and golden eyes, and the males with their silver hair and baby blues, all of them with lovely golden skin. They moved gracefully, not a single falter or misstep, while I was always tripping over the uneven floors of the castle, and even refusing to go further due to the fear of falling through in the places where the floor was clear enough to see straight through.

I felt so ashamed, sticking close to my fathers side, even though I was just a child at the time in the eyes of the Thorian and the Sand Walkers, the same age as Breck, both of us even in the same stages of our studies. He was to one day be king, taking over all the land and the people, just as I was when I grew up, and yet I felt like I was lacking when I looked at them. It didn't help that my own people hated me, even from the time I was a child, the women eyeing me with hatred and the men not even bothering to acknowledge me at all. It was the main reason my father would not leave me at home whenever he traveled, that and he had no one to leave me with. I felt like I was letting my father down, and so I began putting the only thing I knew I had to good use.

My knowledge.

I became possessed by the need to find immortality and the child bearing fix for my people. I thought that maybe if I could do it they would no longer shun me. Maybe they would no longer shun my mother who had slept ever since she had given birth to me.

The nights in the castle were very dark, and I found that most of time I could not sleep in the unfamiliar rooms. I would wander the castle until I made my way to the library, where there was always a fire lit in the huge fireplace, chasing away the chill of the desert nights, and giving me just enough light to read, so I poured over all the sciences book I could find. I far surpassed all of my lessons; I was so desperate to learn more.

That was how he found me.

Sitting in a chair in the library that was far too big for me, holding a book far too large, crying.

"What are you crying for?" the voice startled me as I looked up, finding Breck standing in the doorway of the library. I felt embarrassed, him finding me crying, but as I turned my face away from him to wipe my face with my sleeve, I found myself explaining my problem. I was struggling to understand the components of this specific book. I had been able to work out the others on my own, but this one was just a jumbled mess of confusion.

I flinched when he sighed, though I didn't know why. I felt like he was judging me in some way.

"Why do you work so hard?"

"What?" that wasn't what I had been expecting and I found myself frowning at him.

"Why do you work so hard? What are you working towards?" he stared at me, waiting for me to respond.

"What do you think I am working towards? I want to help my people! I want to help them live forever like I do, for children not to have to lose their mothers and fathers so young. I want women to be able to have children, both boys and girls, as many as they want. I want to be a good ruler to my people!"

"Why?" the word struck me. I leapt from the chair, dropping the book, facing off with him. It was a new feeling for me, feeling like I wanted to slap him my hand itched so badly.

"What do you mean?" I demanded, feeling more like I was on the verge of tears than anger.

"Why help your people when all they do is shun you? They won't accept you merely because you are a woman and are your mother's child. They hate you for something that you cannot change, and yet you want them to accept you when you don't need to prove yourself."

"But I do!" I snapped, ashamed to realize that my voice was starting to crack, that tears were starting to gather in my eyes. I wiped them away with my back of my hand, looking away in hopes that he would realize how close to sobbing I was. I wanted him to understand, hell I wanted someone to understand. "You would never understand though, would you? You and your siblings are perfect. You move perfect, you speak perfect, I know you excel in your studies and your people love you. Both of your parents are here to teach you what you need to know and you will never have to try too hard to live up to everyone else's expectations. I trip and stumble all the time, I get shy and I don't know what to say when I am meeting new people. I feel lacking because I have the one thing my people crave, even though I didn't ask for it." Tears now fell freely down my face, and I let my hand drop, feeling like I was going to suffocate in my own grief. "I didn't ask for it."

He just stood there, those lovely eyes just looking me over like he could look into my very core and find out every single aspect that made me up. I didn't want to know what he saw, I was so ashamed of the person and being that I was.

Then he reached out and grabbed my arm, so fast it surprised me, trying to jerk away even as he began pulling me from the room. What was he going to do? Was he not going to say anything? Was he going to take me my father and show him how shattered inside his only child was?

That made anger overwhelm my sadness, and I jumped forward and bit into his arm. He paused, not yanking his arm away, looking back at me with slight surprise in his eyes. My own eyes widened in surprise as well when I tasted blood. Pulling back I let my tongue coast over my teeth, feeling fangs that had not been there before. His arm still held my wrist, and slowly blood began to drip the floor. Great, something else to feel sorry for.

I opened my mouth, intending to apologize, when he spoke over me.

"Don't." and then he began pulling me again, moving so easy over the uneven floor even as I stumbled along behind him. He pulled along so sure of his path that he didn't once lose his way in the maze of hallways, or in the darkness that shrouded us. The house was utterly quiet, the rest of the world sleeping, not even out feet or breaths making a single sound in the night.

Finally he pushed open a heavy oak door, pulling me inside, and the smell of dust immediately overwhelmed me. No one had been in this room for a long while, I could easily tell from the smell, let alone the layers of dust that coated everything.

That gave me pause. While I could see well in the dark I should not have been able to see such fine detail. It was then I realized the room was alight in a soft white light, and when I looked around to find where it was coming from, I realized it was coming from the ceiling above the large canopy bed. Hesitantly, I moved forward, looking up, and gasping in awe when I realized that while some of the floors had been clear enough to see through, the same had happened to the ceiling in this room, allowing the moon to shine through along with brilliant stars.

I jumped when Breck pulled the canopy from the bed, making an awful tearing sound as he did so. I gasped, snatching it from his hands and examining the damage.

"You should not treat the things your people make like that." I scolded, happy to see it hadn't torn too badly; I could fix it with what little sewing skills I had.

"That was not made by someone on this land. That was brought over through the ocean when a ship crashed onto our shores."

"Really?" I asked in curiosity. It was not too often that anyone crashed on this island, let alone made it through the forest. I knew that some had made it, and they had mixed their blood with the people of this land, becoming a part of them. Even when we had made a pact with these people and they had the chance to leave, they had decided they wouldn't. They loved this place just as much as the people who were born here.

He nodded in confirmation, indicating for me to go and climb on the bed. I did so, looking around at the room, feeling sad at the gathered dust over such a lovely place.

"Why is this room so dusty?" I asked as he climbed up beside me and lay down, looking up at the sky. I mimicked him, feeling my breath catch in my chest at the raw and utter beauty of what beheld me. I could lay here for the rest of the life and die with this in my eyes and in my heart, and I would never even care.

"This room is considered abandoned. Due to the way the ceiling is so clear no one wants to live in this room. Our people are so use to the darkness that we tend to shy away from the light. You are quite the opposite. I know that you have no slept well since being in the castle, so I thought that maybe this would help."

"How do you know I have not been sleeping well?" I asked, baffled.

"Because I do not sleep well either. I hear you when you are up, every night, when everyone else is sleeping. I wondered what you were doing, but it took me awhile to decide that I was going to follow you to find out. I have been following you every night since then, just to make sure you were okay."

I felt my blush, but I was glad that he was looking at the sky, too busy to notice it as well. While me and Breck were still just considered children, in human terms we were in the body of older teenagers. Breck was one of the few who did not still speak to me like I was a Princess, or like I was a child. But the thought of him following me, every night, there but out of sight, stirred something inside me. It was something I was not familiar with, but just as quickly as it was there it was gone again. Surely he was not flirting with me anyway, since he knew the circumstances of my race. While I was not male, I still suffered from a deadened body. But at this age I could not even think about a mate, forget about romance.

"Thank you." Was all I said. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart, even as we both fell asleep under the stars.

When I awoke in the morning he was gone from me side, and for a moment I just lay there, the sun in my eyes, savoring the feeling of . . . home.

"Are you just going to lie there all morning?" his voice startled me, and I jumped up, spying him sitting at the only small table on the other side of the room, breakfast laid out. He was eyeing me with a new look, one I didn't understand.

"Sorry, didn't mean to keep you waiting." I got up, self-consciously brushing my hair with my hands as I sat across from him.

"You didn't," he said easily before holding something up for my inspection. I glanced up from my food and frowned.

"A book?"

"Yes, a book. A book that just so happens to be the book that comes before the one you were reading." For a moment I sat there in a shocked silence.

"Are you saying I skipped a book?"

"I am saying you skipped a book."

"Well damn."

It started then. A small spark that soon grew into a crush that would never let me be. Sometimes I found myself tongue tied around him, others he would frustrate me to no end and I just wanted to strangle him. But the entire time it was accompanied by a bone deep sadness that nothing would ever come of it. I would one day find a mate, or I would simply just take a husband to appease my people, and he would choose a lovely bride from his village that he would love and cherish. I was too different, and there were too many things to work around when it came to my heart.

If he ever realized my crush he never said anything around me, and we became fast friends. He helped me along with some of studies I didn't grasp as quickly, and I helped him learn how to fight dirty, just as my father had taught me.

And every night we snuck away to star room and we fell asleep under the stars.

I rolled over, making an irritated noise in the back of my throat. I didn't want to think about Breck, it made me too angry.

I smiled at the King as he came forward to hug me, something I love for the in formalness of it. He considered me family, and it was good to know that had not changed in all these years.

"Your visit is sudden." He said as he indicated a seat at the table and took one next to me, handing me some water. I drank deeply before I replied to him.

"I am afraid it is because it is business instead of pleasure." I indicated the new cooler Kira had given me when we had arrived. "That is the serum that had me working on the last time we saw each other. While that is not the reason I have come I think I may be close to perfecting it and needed some fresh blood to test it out. But also, I was hoping that in exchange you would allow me a visit with your Spirit Shaman."

A Spirit Shaman was a sand walker Shaman who had strong connections to anything in the spirit realm. So far only one of them had been found in the villages' long history.

And he was dead.

"I am afraid we cannot do that ritual until the times are right."

I knew that, but it still irked me a little. Suddenly I was in a rush and everything wanted to work against me. I knew it wasn't their fault, connection with a spirit was tricky work, and if we didn't get it right then he would not be able to help me with what I needed anyway. I didn't even bother asking when the time would be. I knew, and I knew that I was not going to be tomorrow or even next month. I knew Becca's life hung in the balance but with this I had no choice, and it was my only option.

"Of course," was all I said, giving him a deep nod in understanding. He gave me a knowing smile, letting me know he could see my irritation born of helplessness. This man had seen me grow from a child to a woman and he was like a second father to me, there was very little that I could hide.

"I know of what you need to do, and I understand your urgency. Once the time is right we will get right too it, but until then I would hope that you would make an old man happy and spend time in my home once again. I am afraid that these halls were never the same after we saw you and your father go the last time." His eyes because slightly haunted. "That was the last time I ever saw him alive, you know."

"He spoke of your often, I know that you two kept in touch." I added, wanted to ease the painful wounds that I knew he bore because I bore ones of my own. My fathers passing had been hard, and then I had lost my mother close after that, and even almost my baby brother.

"I wish we could have been there for you." He reached out and took my hand, and I couldn't help but smile, feeling the softness of his skin against my own.

"I got every message you left and every gift you sent. I knew I was in your thoughts."

"And we knew we were in yours. It is a shame your father did not decided to stay. I thought you would have made a wonderful daughter of the sands. I would have even loved to marry you off to one of my sons just so I could keep you around." His eyes were sparkling with mischief, and I had to give myself a mental pat on the back when my cheeks did not heat with a blush.

"As if any of your sons would have taken my hand. They want a Sand Woman as a bride, not a blond outsider."

He was saved from an answer as a young man walked into the room, and the King automatically turned his attention to him. He smiled brightly and stood, and I did the same, studying him. He was taller than I, which was something to say with my small and graceful frame. He was slightly more built than I was, but I knew from experience that little muscle held a lot of power with their kind and ours. His hair was still silver, not even showing a hint of color yet, and of course his eyes were a beautiful blue. I could tell he was around my age from a few tell tale signs, but other than that he looked like every twenty three year old human with beautiful bronze skin.

"Breck," the King greeted, and everything in my suddenly froze, my heart missing a beat. I suddenly began to see the similarities between them, and the familiar features that I had last seen on what would have been a young teenage human. He was handsome, and for a horrifying moment I thought I was going to be one of those idiotic women who swooned. As it was I prevented making an utter fool out of myself.

He wore his hair a little longer now, about the same length as Kalins, my brother. It looked good on him, the stark silver against the golden skin. While his father's hair was a much darker shade, as were his eyes, but they shone with love and affection.

"Father," Breck greeted, but I could tell he was displeased. By the upcoming marriage? Okay, maybe that was wishful thinking on my part.

"You are just in time. I would like to say hello to our guest. It has been a long time since the two of your have seen each other."

I held my breath when Breck turned those eyes on me, and I could see the little hints of brown and green that set him apart from anyone else. The little scar just over his right eye that he had gotten when his brother and him and roughhoused and he had hit his head on the granite fire place. The firm set of his lips that had gone from crushing cute to handsome.

"I'm sorry, have we met?"

Wait.

What?

"I'm sorry?" I gasped out, feeling like my heart was seizing in my chest from the sudden crushing pain. All this time I had crushed on him and he couldn't even remember who I was? Our time together had meant nothing to him then, and I guess it was better that way. While my body had been unresponsive my heart had not, and it was better not to want someone that I could not have.

"Breck!" his father was aghast. I didn't know if I hid the hurt from my expression, or the sudden need to cry my eyes out. I was not going to make a fool out of myself when he seemed so calm and composed, as normal.

"I apologize; it has been a long time since we have seen each other so I would understand how your memory could have faded you. I am Fortis, princess of the Thorian people and daughter of King Charles, who I assume you remember even though he has passed." I gave him a regal nod, refusing to look away from his gaze. Before he could respond I turned to his father. "It is late, and it has been a long journey for me, so if you don't mind I would like to retire to my room. Goodnight." And with that I turned my back on the pair of them.

Goddess it had hurt to hear those words leave his mouth. But I was stronger than this and I would not let it affect me.

Or so I thought.

Until I got to my room and was in the shower. I was then unable to hide my pain, and I allowed the tears to fall. It wasn't just tears from the rejection, it was everything. I was unable to help me sister in law; I was unable to help my brother, unable to help the little girl I had helped create who had now been saved by some unknown miracle. At first, I had been angry with Rebecca. But as time had passed it had faded and fear had taken its place. I had come to love the girl; she was a wonderful friend and an even better mate to my brother. And yet with all of my knowledge I could do nothing to pull her out of this coma like state that she seemed to be sucked into. When she did awake she made cryptic statements that we had learned were prophecies and hints of things we needed to know.

But I had come to learn that it was when she and Kalin were alone together was when the real talking began. She trusted him not to blurt out important information that for some reason she deemed me not ready to know.

In frustration I hit the wall, feeling the tile shatter under my hand, but the pain helped.

Until I looked around the empty bathroom and felt the familiar void in my heart.

I was truly alone.

Sighing, I rolled over, hiding my face in the pillow, almost able to imagine that they smelled how Breck would. Like the rain and sea salt.

Goddess I was obsessed.

I tensed a moment too late when I heard a noise by the bed, and then suddenly a heavy weight fell over me. Me and the other person struggled for a moment, until I gained the advantage and kicked them from the bed, bolting from under the covers, calling for the guards. The person moved quicker than I thought they would, leaping forward and catching me by the ankle and taking me down to the floor with them, taking my breath when my back met solid crystal. They took advantage of my sudden breathlessness and leapt on top of me pinning my hands above my head. I thrashed against then, struggling for my freedom, trying to gain any leverage I could to get free.

"Fortis?" I suddenly froze, my heart twisting in my chest as I dreaded the situation I suddenly found myself in. Slowly, I turned my head, finding myself face to face with Breck. Inside I groaned, even as I registered the surprise in his eyes as he looked down at me. I was humiliated to have him overpowering me, and I didn't even know why. I lowered my lashes, trying to hid my expression, worried that some part of me would be thrilling at his nearness.

He quickly let me go, even as Kira and the other guards came running into the room.

"Are you okay, Fortis?" Kira asked me, one of them flipping on a light, and she pointedly ignored his brother. I climbed to my feet, feeling a blush steal my cheeks.

"Is she okay? Really Kira? She is in my room and you ask HER if she is okay?" His outburst made me pause, and I spun on him, pointing my finger at him.

"Your room? Excuse me? I have stayed in this room every single time I have come here, I have ever since I was a child. The King told me they were my rooms when I left. When in the world did you decide to move in and take them over?"

"He moved in just after you left the last time you saw him." Kira supplied, even though her brother threw her a glare in response.

"What? Kira! You allowed me to stay in this room the last several times I visited! Why did no one tell me he had taken this room?" Kira merely shrugged, but a strange light had lit Breck's eyes, one I did not recognize.

"You stayed in my rooms when you stayed here?" he asked. And I suddenly realized who I was speaking too. The person who had hurt me hours ago, who I meant nothing to. I straightened, lifting my chin, meeting his eyes with me own.

"Yes I did, I apologize, no one told me they were taken by you, or anyone for that matter. I will not make the same mistake again." And with that I turned on my heel, still in my friggin pajamas, and left the room, grabbing my bag on the way out.

"I'll grab my other crap later." I called before I even turned the corner, but I heard Breck's yelp of pain and could only guess his younger sister had given him a good cuff.

"Good morning," Kira greeted me as I came down the stairs into the massive dining room the next morning. I gave her a halfhearted smile in response, forcing myself to get a plate and fill it up with everything I could. I even took a cup of their special tea, taking a breath of it and feeling it settle me like nothing else could. I looked back at Kira to find her looking me over, looking rather displeased.

"Don't be shy," I drawled sarcastically. She watched for another moment before finally giving a shrug.

"You do not look like you got an ounce of sleep."

Well damn, was it really that obviouse?

"You still don't do well with dark unfamiliar places, huh?"

"How would you even know about that, you were not even born when I was here as a child."

"Father told me about you growing up, you are part of our family after all. I am sorry I never got to meet your father, or your brother."

"You will meet Kalin eventually, I hope." The last muttered under my breath.

"You will get to your brothers bride in the other realm on time." I jumped at the voice behind me, glaring when Breck took the seat beside me.

"What do you want?" I was too tired to be polite.

"Look, I'm sorry, I realize how rude I was yesterday."

"Good, considering on a scale of rudeness yours could cover a football field." I muttered, but he ignored me.

"I know who you are, Fortis. Would you believe me if I said that I was just taken by surprise?"

"Over what, exactly?"

"Well, you are not exactly the small Thorian girl that I last saw."

Somehow that irritated me even more. Or maybe it was the damn morning sun coming through the crystal was in my eyes.

"Funny, cause you aren't the charming Sand Walker boy that I last saw either." And I promptly got up and walked away, again hearing him yelp as Kira kicked him under the table. But just as I got the courtyard outside I heard his hurried steps behind me.

"Wait!" he called when I didn't stop, feeling the whisper of his hand as he tried to grab my arm but I pulled it out of the way too quickly.

"Why? So you can trip over your tongue some more? No thank you, unlike you your brother has made it very clear that he remembers me and he had offered me a tour of the village and castle to see what has changed. So unless you really have something important to tell me I suggest to scram before I really lose my temper with you."

"Funny," he didn't sound amused, "I don't remember you have such a quick temper."

"Yeah and I don't remember you being such a jerk, but sometimes the way we remember things was never how they really were."

"At least come and drink you tea!" he hurried to keep up with the frantic pace. "I remember it was your favorite, especially with milk and a lot of sugar." That made me slow to a stop, and so did he. "Don't you remember? I gave it to the first night you were here for a thunderstorm, while we were in my father's study. You told me tea was for grown-ups, and I told you—"

"That we were no longer children." I whispered. We had laughed at that, enjoying our tea together. I shook my head hard, the memory just hurting more because I had made the decision to move on past Breck. He was due to marry and I was due to forever be alone.

I continued walking.

"I would stay away from my brother, if I were you." He called out, and I was thankful he didn't give chase.

Whatever that was supposed to mean.

Kay guys, I have been behind so I worked on 11 pages whooo! No? okay.

So far 2013 has been the good and bad, painful and thrilling. I lost so much and yet found so many things to celebrate. I know it has taken me awhile to come back but I promise it was not because I was being a slacker. I will work on Fortis, I promise, just hope you guys can stick by me. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, hopefully I will see you guys again come new years.

Thank you guys. Really.

Merry Christmas, happy Chanukah, happy holidays, and even for those who don't celebrate it, have a wonderful time!