Chapter 4: Her Wish, His Life (Negai to Seikatsu)

"She saw beauty in his darkness, he saw darkness in her beauty"- ~unknown~

Yu woke up with the crack of lightning. She startled, shivered and then curled like she was in a shell, and like every day, her glance drove back to the letter 'L', but unlike any other day, she tore her eyes off the letter as she remembered suddenly what happened last night and the wish was futile. She didn't want to go through the same again. She looked at the wall clock and it depicted a strange time…

3 o clock

Strange…. Despite the rain and thunder, it was clearly bright enough for 3 in the morning…. Wait, was it 3 in the afternoon, most unlikely. The east window was brighter and the door was shadowy… so it was morning… let's check the cellphone:

3:00, Sunday July 15th

What about the clock in the hallway…. The kitchen… the study…. Her wristwatch….

Every clock in her house was stopped in 3 am in the morning….

What in the world….

Now she has to get out in a thundering monsoon to get some batteries….

….

'Senpai…. Give me twelve pencil batteries for clock…' Yu called out the young shop assistant; his name was Yuusuke Tanaka, his name was written in Yu's notebook. He went suicidal after his girlfriend broke up with him, after Yu wrote his name with a purpose that he might get accepted in Tokyo University and be an engineer that he always wanted.

'Aiyo…. Here you go, Yu-chan, oi what's up?' Yuusuke looked at her with weird face and Yu laughed, 'what to say, every clock just stopped at 3 in the morning…. By the way, what's the time now?'

'12:24…. 3 you say…. ' Yuusuke made a creepy face, 'like the Conjuring movie?'

'As if!' Yu replied shortly and paid the money, 'okay…. Thank you'

Yu walked out of the shop. The outside are seemed so blurred gray with rain that it was hard to say whether it was on the ground or underwater. Although Yu had her rain-boots, raincoat and umbrella, walking in such a furious rain was almost impossible through the main street…. maybe I should take the by-lane near the cemetery… will take a bit long, but I won't be under constant threat that I will be hurled by a truck or something…

Although it was afternoon, the sky looked like after sunset, dark twilight gray, and with the constant rain, the tombs looked quite spooky. Yu could feel that she was almost out of the cemetery as she could see the road that goes straight to her house; all she have to do now is to cross the road and head for home-

'Excuse me…..' a flat yet soothing voice called from behind. Yu turned back but could see nothing but gray dripping needles. She scrunched her eyes as she could see a moving shadow that formed almost a silhouette of a human. As the shadow came forward, Yu's eyes widened.

'ARGH….'

With a cry of fear and surprise, Yu fell on the ground and her umbrella flew in the middle of the road. The figure standing before her was a man's. He wore muddy white shirt and greenish-blue baggy jeans, but they were now soaked and was clinging to his not-to-buffed yet not-so-skinny-either frame, he hunched a little and the thing which scared Yu the most was his ominously pale skin, accompanied by his heavily dark-circled eyes and neck length hair, completely down by the July shower; overall it was not a very human appearance.

'Wh-what do you want?' Yu's voice cracked, crap, she just went past the graveyard…. Does that mean he is a ghost and knew she has a Life Note and wanted her to bring him back to life? No… no….ghosts don't exist right, well now that she thought about it that could exist….well, was he floating in the mid air…. Not sure, for the rain….

'Are you…. Are you a ghost?' Yu asked stupidly and mentally kicked herself.

'Ghost? Why would I be a ghost' the same nonchalant tone, and now this hunched man was approaching Yu, closer, and squatted down where she had fallen. 'Here, check it for yourself' he took her small hand and placed on his chest, where Yu could feel his beating heart….

Suddenly a warm feeling spread throughout Yu's body, easing the pain of yesterday's strain. All her life, she did not feel such ease, even with Life Note, the warm feeling of feeling someone's beating heart… his beating was almost like her own….

Yu tore her hand away from his chest, he was alive and that could mean worse, he could be a rapist…. Oh my god…. But no, let's find it out what his intention was. Yu found his shadowy black eyes…. Delve in the past… moments passed away, she just wanted to see if he had some ill intention or not, but, all she could see was blankness….

There was no memory or thought

This man had no memory….

'Um…. Why did you call me? Do you know me…. Who are you anyway?' Yu stood up, her black hair soaked like this hunching man, and his shadowy eyes moved causelessly on her face, while he placed the nail of his thumb on his lip. He opened his mouth and closed it two times, and finally gave an answer in a low soothing tone.

'I…. I don't know….. ' he answered, and although he sported no significant emotion, Yu could tell he was disturbed, 'when I woke up it was raining and I was lying on the ground'

'Where exactly you were lying?' Yu asked sceptically, maybe he was a drunk or drug addict who just got wasted and with the addiction overdose, he just lost all his memory, now that Yu thought about it, when you can't really read the mind, all the negative thoughts come cracking in…. that is why people were always sceptical of helping others…. A human being isn't very fond of ambiguity.

'Over there…..' he pointed at the graveyard, 'and I kept walking till now….. Not a single person I saw before you….. And when I saw you, I just called you' his voice, despite dispassionate and soothing, Yu could hint a bit of childish complain in him, as if he was saying, 'I went through this horrible weather, I don't know where I am and you dare to suspect me as a shady person…. '

Yu went closer to him and tried to sniff, of course the rain would have washed off the smell but still, she knew a few smell of alcohol and drugs due to her father's habit, and she raised her nose and tried to sniff his breath also…. No…. he does have a morning breath, but it wasn't the same as a narcotic…. That clears that….

'Well…. I am gonna go now….' Yu said and tried to slide away and saw that the man was vacantly staring at her. She paced up and paced fast until she was near the lane of her home, and found an odd thing that was bothering her for quite some time. The man near the graveyard followed her home.

'What are you doing here?' Yu almost yelled at him but restrained herself as he looked with his heavily dark circled eyes with a slight pout, to which Yu could not be mad at him.

'I am not leaving until you tell me who I am…..!' he protested….

Yu scratched her temple, now she was in front of her house, and then she swiftly unlocked the door. The man wanted to come in, but she made him stand under the porch. 'Wait here….'

'But?'

'Wait. Down. Here…..' Yu commanded him and he obeyed, and stood there. Yu however came out with a handbag, two umbrellas and a plastic bag. The man continued to stare at her with confusion and didn't even complain when Yu started to drag him out in the street by his hand.

'TAXI…' Yu yelled when they reached the main road, a green cab stopped by them and Yu dragged the man inside, 'City Hospital oji-san, and make it quick…..'

The taxi started to move and Yu pulled the windows up. She went through her plastic bag and took out a big white towel out of it.

'Here…. Dry yourself before we reach the hospital, or the doctor will scold you' she passed the towel, but he continued to stare blankly at the towel Yu just dropped, Yu realising what she just said, blushed and looked away, 'don't worry I won't look….'

'No that's not it….. I…. don't know how it's done!' he said quietly….

'Oh sure…. ' little annoyed by the situation, Yu took control, and started to rub the towel against his wet head.

Gush of feels hit Yu at the same time, like she was a loving friend, a sweet sister, a lover, a mother. She felt an odd instinct that no matter what she have to protect him from all danger, keep him warm, keep him safe, at all cost. She looked at his face: it was serene and dozed, with his shadowed eyes half closed, and his teeth biting his lips. Yu slowly and responsibly dried his face, like she was this stranger's mother, and then when she looked at his shirt, she gave up.

'I am afraid you have to leave the shirt aside… you might catch cold' Yu knew that she sounded like a pervert, but she was just being practical, and wanted to catch him off guard if he faked his amnesia, but to Yu's surprise, like a five year old, he raised his arms. 'okay….' He said calmly and gestured Yu to put it off for him, 'should I go for the pant too? They are kind of bothering me…. And I am cold' and they both started to strip him. To Yu's relief, he dried himself quite quickly as he claimed that he mastered the 'technique' and later Yu helped him to get into one of his dad's white half tee shirt and relaxed jeans; similar to what he wore. Now he was dry and warm, he let go of his 'confused' state, and looked much calmer, despite the stoic expression.

'Here it is miss…. The City Hospital' the cab stopped, but the rain continued

'Thank you….' Yu paid him, 'oji-san, can you wait for half-an-hour, today is a bad day, and he' Yu pointed at the stranger, 'is not really well, so….'

'It's okay miss… don't worry, I will wait for you…'

'Thank you….' Yu took a picture of the number plate and paid some extra.

Yu again dragged him by the hand as if the older sister had caught her brother in some sort of prank and went to the reception desk.

'Yes… may I help you?'

'Do you have any neurologist or psychiatrist standby? I have a patient who claims to have forgotten everything about himself' Yu pointed at the guy, who was standing there, slouching his back. The receptionist, seeing Yu's slightly annoyed face tried to ease the situation.

'Is he your….. older brother?'

'No…. I just found him in the road; he started following me asking me who he was…. And that's why I brought him here….' Yu firmly said.

'O…kay,' the receptionist sweatdropped and called someone. 'Wait a moment, he is coming soon.'

The man by Yu was led by her towards the visitors place, but his eyes roamed around the candy jar on the reception desk. 'Hey….. Can I have those?' he asked, pulling Yu's wet sleeve.

'No…. not yet' Yu said with sternness, 'let the doctor check you first, tell you what you can eat and what cannot, and then you can have it….' God what have I brought myself into? I thought helping people was nice, but now when I don't have a ghost of notion who he is, it's really tiresome.

'Um…. Where is Miss Namikawa?' a male voice called, and Yu got up.

'That would be me….'

'Do you have a patient who has lost memories?'

'I think so….. I am not sure, I just found him, and I had to check that he is not lying or anything…..' Yu said to the doctor. Yu sighed in relief because that doctor said nothing suspicious to her; he was kind and elderly, had grey hair and moustache and wore spectacles. Yu thought that she has seen him somewhere but didn't know where. He gently led the patient to his chamber and beckoned Yu to follow him. Through the glass wall, Yu could see that he was asked several questions, one time a nurse took his blood to which he almost pouted in pain. Hang in there buddy, a voice sounded from Yu's heart, seeing him.

The doctor finally came out and Yu stood up, 'miss…' the doctor said 'I need to have some word with you….'

'Okay….'

'This guy, the man you brought has hysteric amnesia, and he is not lying about it' with the doctor's words, Yu's heart dropped like stone 'hysteric amnesia is a state when a person has no recollection about who he is or what is going on, even they tend to forget manners like how to use a towel or how to turn a shower, or with which hand they used to write.'

Well that explains a lot of things.

'I tested his blood to see if it was alcohol induced or drug induced, and he came negative. In fact when I checked the blood, the result was astonishing….' the doctor handed Yu his report 'all the components in his blood point that before he lost his memory he used to consume a heavy amount of sweets, to such a point that his body refused to take any other type of food.'

'Is that his cause of amnesia?' Yu said.

'Consuming such huge amount of sweets can cause convulsion, gut problems, obesity even death but not amnesia…. That surely confirms that he has a strong metabolism' The doctor confirmed, 'Now he is positive on amnesia, he needs to be taken extra care, remember he is in a very sensitive state and too much mental pressure can cause seizure and stroke-'

That was reassuring…

'And here's the list of medicines, you can pick it up here….' The doctor handed Yu the prescription and discharged the man in the room.

Yu looked down at the piece of paper….

Walter I. Retlaw

…..

Yu and the man was coming back home in the same can they went to the hospital. Both were awkwardly quite. To break the silence and escape it, Yu started to look into the papers, and sighed. She looked at the man beside her. He seemed 17-18, but the body language (although he has no memory) says he is not a pubescent, so approximately he is in his twenties. He was intently biting on his thumb, lubed up with his saliva; the finger was slipping from his lips once in a while. He had messy raven hair that was shapeless in an anonymous way: neither straight nor fully wavy, looked rough but was smooth (by Yu's 'hand on' experience), he slouched his back and scratched his knee; he had pretty dainty fingers for a man, as if they would break if they grabbed something firmly.

'Where are we going?' he asked quietly.

'Home….' Yu said

'You know where I live?' he looked at Yu with mild curiosity.

'No…. you are going to stay at my place until I figure out what to do with you….' Yu answered, and suddenly her face was turned 'tell me, do you like sweets?'

'Sweets?' he asked vaguely, 'I guess…. Mmm, I think I do love sweets, now that you mention It.' he fixed his gaze on Yu and she tried to read him again.

Nothing…. Nothing but blackness…. Maybe it's the craving of his body, not memory.

Yu was very disturbed by the fact that they were communicating without calling each other's name. Right now it is futile to ask him his, at least she will have to give him a name until she finds out the real one. Yu descended the cab, he copied her, and thanking the uber, she led the man home.

'There is one thing which is bothering me for quite some time….' He spoke serenely yet meticulously for a patient of amnesia as Yu was placing umbrellas and bags in the proper places, 'you haven't told me who you are…' he paused and looked at Yu with his heavily shadowed eyes, 'Who are you?'

Suddenly a wave played in Yu's mind…. 'Are You'….. 'R, U', 'Ar…. Yu', 'R…. Yu…'

'Ryu….' Yu blurted out.

'Ryu? Hmm, sounds quite out of place, to say… masculine almost…' that man remarked.

He understands the difference between names, so his intellectual response is there, also the cognitive response, only thing is obliterated is what he was…. This amnesia makes him like a newborn kid.

'No…. that's for you…. I am going to call you 'Ryu' until we find your real name…. that's a pet name for you…. As for myself, you can call me Yu….'Yu stripped off her wellingtons and wore fluffy green slippers and handed Ryu the same ones.

'Yu…..' Ryu mused, and Yu was sure without a shadow of doubt that her blood pounded faster than a mile per hour in her heart, and she looked he was scratching his left ankle with his right toes, some weird habits, these are not part of memory,, but reflex actions… well if that's the case, he may recover his memories soon.

'Nice to meet you…. Yu….' He softly spoke, and without realising a quick flush came at Yu's wet cheekbones.

Extended ending

The moment Yu went home with Ryu, the cab driver lift his face a little. His wrinkled lips formed a smile; he was the same old man Yu saw in the bus. He looked at Yu's house from the car; lift his hat slightly while his face was still in shadow.

The red thread brought together its knotted ends….