Quinn - I can't tell if this really full feeling is because of the Hot Pocket I just ate, or because my uterus is stretched to bursting.

Tina – It was probably the Hot Pocket. I ate one when I was a little kid and was so full after that I threw up on my dad.

Pucksaurus - Your stomachs are such wimps! I can eat 20 without a problem.

MikeChang28 – It's probably the second option.

Rachel – I just watched Kirstie Alley's new TV show. You know what's a great diet plan? Watching Kirstie Alley's TV show.

Mercedes – If that show really is a great diet plan, that dog next door would have discovered that a while ago.

Finn – You have a dog next door who watches TV?

Mercedes – Finn, that comment was a joke.

Jacob B.I. – My mom thinks Kirstie Alley is lesbian.

Mercedes – Since when did Jacob join in on this conversation?

Jacob B.I. – Ever since I saw Rachel's name in it.

Tina – Do you still want her underwear?

Jacob B.I – Do you know if she wears thongs?

Brittany – I wanted to have antibiotics, but I ended up having my mom's anti-depressant. Now I feel depressed.

Tina – If you ate an anti-depressant, doesn't that mean you shouldn't be depressed?

Kurt - I hereby encourage every American to hunt down and watch the last 5 minutes of the final episode of "Cop Rock."

Tina – What's Cop Rock?

Kurt – Gasp, even that old man that lives across the street knows what "Cop Rock" is. You really should start using Suave Naturals instead of Garnier Fructis, Tina. It really makes a difference.

Rachel – My dads use Garnier and their hair is perfectly fine.

Pucksaurus – Jacob, you should really give up on that self-defense gag you tried before I dropped you head first into the dumpster. I could break your nose in my sleep.

Jacob B.I. – I'm not scared and I am a yellow belt in karate.

Pucksaurus – Prove it. Meet me at the dumpster after school. And wear a hockey mask if you still want to have your face when you go home.

Jacob B.I. – Then I'll wear a hockey mask.

Pucksaurus – Then I'll punch through it.

Rachel - I thought "V" was about vampires. It's about aliens. It should be called "A".

Mercedes – "V" stands for Visitors, Rachel.

Rachel – "A" still makes a better name, though.

Jacob B.I. – I have to agree with Rachel.

Santana – Jacob, you aren't allowed n this conversation. Get out.

Brittany – Is a hamster that animal with a long neck and horns?

Mercedes – You mean a giraffe?

Brittany – Is that a hamster?

Finn – No.

Brittany – Then what's a hamster?

Tina – I had a pet hamster, but she made me donate it to an animal shelter. She found

hamster poop in her tea.

Mercedes – Well that's got to be bad.

Kurt – I really have to get a new dressing gown.

Santana – Dressing gown? What era are you from? It's called a bathrobe.

Tina – My mom keeps stealing all the garlic bread.

Kurt – I must sacrifice my Shirley Temples for my dad's soda. I know what it feels like.

Brittany – I feel like I never get enough lotion on my face every day.