Title: Destiny is Laughing
Rating: T (subject to change)
Pairings: Arthur/Merlin (possible others as story progresses)
Warnings: Language, AU, fem/Merlin, mild violence (subject to expansion as the story progresses)
Disclaimer: Nope, hasn't changed.

Merlin hitched the light pack higher onto his shoulder and adjusted the cloak he wore. His hands were wrapped around the package Gaius had shoved at him claiming it was a gift to his mother. The package was a long pole bound in tightly wrapped cloth. One end of the pole had a large lump and the whole thing wriggled against in his grasp.

Merlin chose not to think about it. He was getting better at this not thinking game.

He slipped into the hallway with the ease of familiarity. At the stairs the only light came from the moon shining through the windows. Below in the courtyard came the flickering of torches of patrolling guards. Those, Merlin knew, were the visible guards. There was a second set of guards who did not announce their presence with torch light and it was his own fault. He had been joking about the amount of people who seemed to pass freely through the castle without anyone paying any attention. Arthur had overheard and decided it would be a brilliant idea to increase the guard at night with plain clothed guards keeping watch right along with the highly visible armored guards. While more lenient than the curfew imposed during witch hunts there was a curfew that the regular citizens were expected to adhere to, and guards were expected to question the comings and goings of anyone found they didn't recognize outside after dark. Uther had agreed to Arthur's experiment in changing the guard system, and it had unfortunately proved to be more effective than the traditional one so far. The hidden patrols were the ones he'd really have to watch out for since they could look like anything; although he couldn't afford to risk running into any of them, not in his current state. No one would recognize him as a girl and he would be questioned for being out late so late without a good reason. That would mean running into Arthur as a girl. He shuddered.

The boy took a deep breath and began a slow descent down the stairs. One step, two. Slowly so as to not make noise with his too big shoes, he crept along, trying to stay as much in the shadows as possible. Bottom of the final set of stairs- finally! He only had three more hallways, a courtyard, a stable, saddling a horse, passing a double drawbridge and a ride through town to go; all without being caught by any guards, the night shift servants, or stable hands.

Merlin almost whimpered, but that would have given him away.

Three episodes of ducking into alcoves to hide from overly dedicated maids, and one elderly manservant, Merlin finally reached the final stretch of the castle portion of the evening's entertainment. Soon he would be at the next obstacle. He slowed to a stop when he reached the landing leading to the archways that led into the courtyard. It was nighttime so there would only be one guard instead of the regular two that would be stationed there during the day. That would mean that Arthur would probably have a hidden guard somewhere nearby. First things first though. He crept forward until he had a view of the guard and was able to see through both columned doors. The guard stood outside the front and the side one… had a bucket resting against one wall. Merlin grinned. A flash of gold and the bucket was rattling along the ground. The guard jumped to attention and hurried around the corner to investigate. Merlin raced past him until he was hidden behind a pillar away from view of the guard.

Ok one down. Merlin contemplated his next move. He leaned to peer around his pillar but was unable to see any other guards. That didn't mean they weren't there though. There had to be at least one more to sneak past as he snuck through the courtyard, possibly more than that. Working for Arthur meant Merlin had an idea of the new system, but Arthur was the only one who knew where the guards were going to be stationed on any given night. And that wasn't counting the fact that he would have to stay out of view of the guards along the castle walls and the ones who patrolled the balcony directly above the courtyard. That meant he'd have to make sure he didn't get seen by any of the four guards overhead. The mop (and possibly the broom as well), for surely that was what the long package he was holding contained, began to wiggle again. He thumped it with a finger.

"Shhh! Come on, are you trying to get us caught?"

He glanced around, worried now that he may have caught somebody's attention with his sharp whisper. When no shouts or booted feet came thumping over the cobblestones toward his hiding spot he sagged against his pillar. He raised the package. "Just be still until we get out of here can you?"

The mop (and possibly the broom as well) stilled in his hand, and he sighed in relief that it was willing to listen.

Merlin leaned back around to consider his options. He could move from here to that shadow to that one. From there he could make it to that gargoyle there that he could hide behind. It was situated on the corner so he would be able to hide from guards in either direction. He'd be in the open for an uncomfortable stretch to reach the gargoyle, but he'd have a good vantage point to watch for guards while he plotted his next move. His eyes swiveled around and… now! He raced toward the first patch of darkness. Another quick glance assured no one was coming and he skidded into the next shadow, just in time to see a figure approaching his hiding spot. He shrank closer to the wall and froze. Heavy footsteps drew near. No that was his heart thumping against the cobblestones. How did his heart get down there? The man in simple brown clothes that were slightly too high quality to be simple peasant garb passed by, his head turning as though he were looking for something.

In spite of the danger of the situation Merlin felt a flash of irritation. Who goes around looking for something in the middle of the night without a light source? Couldn't Arthur's 'secret' guards be a little less conspicuous about their new job? It was great (if not slightly problematic at the moment) that they were getting into their new roles but they definitely needed more training in how to act like normal townsfolk. Just the way he carried himself screamed 'I'm a knight that's slumming it'. They needed some lessons on how to seem like they had a reason for being there instead of just happening to be soldiers wearing regular clothes on patrol. If he weren't hiding Merlin would heave a frustrated sigh and go tell him what he was doing wrong. As it was he held still until the man had passed as. Unfortunately he was tracing the course of the main courtyard which was going to circle back to where the warlock was hiding. Merlin looked around. He needed something that would keep the hidden guard occupied while he navigated his way out toward the stables. His eyes landed on what could possibly be the perfect distraction.

It was horrible and mean and he was going to feel bad for involving an innocent later, but… A flash of gold ensured that yowls filled the air followed closely by screams. More footsteps could be heard approaching from the guard on the other set of doors drawn by the disturbance but even with more eyes they wouldn't notice him while their attention was on the one guy under attack. Gargoyle next and hopefully no nasty surprises between here and there. Merlin steeled himself. A check assured him that the 'villager' and the armored guard from the door way by the stairs were occupied with a now infuriated cat so he managed to make it to the piece of hideous statuary. When he looked back he saw one of the guards try to kick the cat, but with a tap of magic the guard went sprawling into one of his buddies who reeled back, colliding with the next guard until all three were lying in a swearing tangled heap. The cat fled. Merlin grinned.

A movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention. An armored guard passed beyond the next corner into his line of sight. The young warlock held his breath so hard that for one vertiginous moment he felt like he was going to fall over, a feeling that was amplified by the dancing shadows cast by the torch being held aloft by a gauntleted fist. Merlin hugged his stony shield with his eyes tightly closed and prayed that if the patrol looked his way they would think him and the mop (and possibly broom) trapped between him and the gargoyle were in fact be part of it. After a moment he cracked his eye open in time to see that the guard did an about face and continued on his path back to wherever he originally started. Merlin's rested his cheek against the cool stone for a moment and tried to convince himself that he needed to pry his fingers loose. Ok focus, he ordered himself. There was another one over there and one more between him and the stables that he had to get past; just as soon as he knew this one was out of the way. He pushed himself forward and peeked around the corner, the guard was disappearing around the next bend.

Only two more to go and he could work on getting a horse without getting busted. Merlin set off in a crouching run timed so that he reached the low wall before the pacing guard turned back toward him. He miscalculated slightly as the guard turned back in his direction sooner than he expected. Time slowed. Merlin dived. Time resumed. Apparently the guard hadn't seen him because he kept walking in that infuriating pace that all of Arthur's men seemed to move at when they weren't actually chasing a criminal. He took a deep breath and shifted back onto his haunches. Once more moving in a crouch that was hampered slightly by his bag and the stick in his hand he eventually made it to the end of the wall. Beyond the wall was a low hedge that was overshadowed by the balcony above it. The problem was that while none of the guards above would be able to see him, another one of Arthur's hidden guards was wandering in the middle of the grassy area leading toward the training field and he would be able to see Merlin, keeping his attention peeled in a much more blatant fashion than the regular guards. Damn it! Why couldn't the guards be as inefficient as they normally were? Or at least inefficient in a way that was useful for him?

Merlin sank onto his stomach and inched along until he was stretched out behind the low hedge. He propelled himself forward with his elbows and knees in a way that allowed him to keep his grip on the mop (and possibly broom as well) in a move similar to one that he'd seen Arthur use when crawling through the underbrush with his crossbow at the ready. The end of the low hedge came entirely too soon and now Merlin had no more coverage between himself and the stables, and that one last pesky guard. He should have checked to see if there were any sleep spells in his spell book, but if all of the city guards started falling asleep he knew Uther would freak out. Then he'd put the city under lock down, possibly roasting a few towns' people just for the sake of making a statement. The statement was something along the lines of 'I am a psychopathic megalomaniac and I could kill you all if I so choose.' Royals, the warlock had discovered, were a bit weird about asserting their dominance and it could make them a little unnerving to work for at times. Really he couldn't help but feel there were more constructive ways for them to point out they were in charge, but he sincerely doubted that any of them would listen to him, wee little peon that he was. Well Arthur might listen to him, but then he'd just point and laugh at him for being such a girl. Bastard would be right for a change. Merlin scowled.

He shook his head, and centered on the man walking across the green. Now back to figuring out how to get to the stables unnoticed.

Hm, tricky. This area was out in the open so there were no buckets or other objects lying about. This close to the training field if there were any objects lying about they'd likely be weapons that were missed by squires and menservants during the day. Stabbity objects would be useless for what he was trying to accomplish here. Wait a minute… the armory. He reached out a hand toward the heavy door and cast an unlocking spell at it. At this distance it was difficult to tell if it had worked but if it was no longer locked then he could use his magic to move the door. Focusing on the door he ripped it open, sending it rocking back and forth on its hinges with an ear grating squeak. The man (this one had chosen black for his night time attire) jumped and whirled toward the sound. He drew his sword and ran toward the armory. When he disappeared Merlin surged to his feet and raced for the stables.

Made it!

With his back pressed against the wall Merlin edged toward the far end of the stabled where the doors were still opened. Upon reaching the door he sank down and stuck his head around the corner checking to make sure the coast was clear. Master Ambrose, the Stable Head, actually had a small set of quarters that he stayed in whenever there was a problem with one of the horses. If this was one of those times, and Merlin wasn't up on castle gossip so he couldn't be certain it wasn't, then the man would be wandering about. And then Samson, the stable boy, usually slept in the hayloft. Merlin couldn't risk making too much noise and drawing the attention of either of them if they were there. He cautiously slipped inside, pausing at the sound of a snore. That… did not come from the loft. He tried to track the sound to find a strange man with a bottle of alcohol clutched in one hand sprawled on a pile of hay in the corner. What the hell was going on around here? Any other time Merlin would not have had so much trouble sneaking around. He definitely took for granted the amount of freedom being Arthur's man servant brought him. And now he had another person he had to make sure he wasn't disturbing. Merlin's hands curled into strangling claws into the air before him as silent curses spilled from his mouth in a frustrated stream.

His scarf twisted around to pet his cheek, but thankfully remembered its instructions not to make any noises until they weren't in the castle at all. A lock of hair fell loose while his scarf tried to cheer him up. He blew a breath up trying to get the hair out of his face. The mop (and yeah) began to wriggle again where it rested against his shoulder and he paused to flick his finger at it and then soothed his hand along it, hoping that it would understand. He patted the scarf to assure it he was okay now. The scarf slipped around the stray strand of hair and pulled it with it when it curled back up around his ponytail. Merlin leaned the mop against one of the horse stalls, raising one finger to his lips to remind it not to make any noise. Then he felt silly because it probably wouldn't be able to see it through the thick material wrapped around it. He threw his hands up and turned back to his more immediate problem of getting a horse.

A quiet and easy horse to handle, his eyes scanned up and down the stalls until he found the chestnut mare he preferred when Arthur dragged him out on hunting trips. Perfect. He snuck toward the saddles. Using his magic he maneuvered the saddle blanket and the tack through the air behind him as he made his way toward his chosen mount. He kept a careful hold on the bridle and mouth piece to keep the soft clinking to a minimum. Just as he was lifting the saddle into place he heard a woman's giggle, and this one did come from the hayloft. His hand slipped a bit and one stirrup smacked against the stall door.

"Wait. Did you hear something?"

All of the air seemed to be sucked out of the room as absolute silence fell.

Finally a male voice answered, "Nah, didn't hear nothing."

"Are you sure we should be doing this here?"

"It's fine. The old man is at his place tonight."

'Oh well what a relief,' Merlin thought with a sour twist of his lips. A feminine groan followed a sharp gasp. He looked up at the hay filled rafters above his own head. Merlin felt his face flame as the wood above began to creak. No! No, no! This- Augh! No! Bits of hay began to filter down through the cracks between the wooden beams above. He closed his eyes.

This was so not happening to him.

"So someone was sneaking into the castle?" Arthur remained comfortably sprawled in his favorite seat with his elbow propped on one arm of the chair. He rested his mouth against the knuckles of the fist over which he regarded the man standing directly before him. As the Knight Captain he was responsible for the security of the entire castle and so the captain of the regular guard dutifully reported to him every time there was anything out of the ordinary was mentioned by any of the sentries. Brendanus was a middle-aged man with peppered brown hair and a thoughtful gaze. He was a veteran of at least two wars and had been the Captain of the Guard for nearly a decade now. Arthur's gaze slid to the side to take in Reynard. The blond was only a few years older than Arthur and also one of his knights. Being both clever and loyal, he had gotten along so well with Brendanus that it had been an easy decision to appoint him the sub commander of the new guards.

"While there were a couple minor incidences throughout the night, we found no evidence of entry. And none of the gate sentries reported any persons entering into or exiting from the castle or the lower town at any point last night."

"Minor incidences," Arthur rolled the words around on his tongue. Brendanus fidgeted. "You care to elaborate on that?"

"There was an occurrence with… a bucket. There was another with a uh, with a cat, and someone apparently entered the armory. The plain clothes guard who investigated the armory did not find the source of the disturbance."

"So someone was sneaking aroundthe castle?"

"Prince Arthur, Prince Arthur! There's a horse missing!" A large man with broad shoulders and a red face stood in the doorway of the blond prince's meeting room dancing from foot to foot in agitation. His hair was black and stood up on end as though he had been running his fingers through it. "From my stables, Sire!"

"Ah, Master Ambrose, come in," Arthur invited brightly and straightened. "Why I do believe we were discussing that very issue."

He flicked a pointed glance at the other men, who shrank under his attention, before turning back to the stable master.

"It was magic, Sire. It had to have been."

"That will be investigated as soon as we have any leads. Now how was it discovered that one of the horses was missing?"

"I just came in this morning to start tending my duties and there was a stall standing as empty as you please. I hollered for Samson to get down from the loft -that's where he regularly stays of the night since his parents went missing- and he said he hadn't heard nothing last night. And Old Walker, he was a sleeping on some hay and he ain't seen nothing either. Not that he'd be up to seeing much mind, drunk as he was. But who could have taken a horse right from under Samson's nose without him a noticing a thing? It had to be magic!"

'Old Walker?'

He was almost tempted to ask why there was apparently a drunken man sleeping in his stable hay last night but he knew Ambrose was prone to going off on so many tangents when he was speaking that he made his manservant seem coherent. He was of course referring to his real manservant, not the boy who was currently filling in for his servant.

"As I said, that will be investigated." Arthur raised a warning brow that would make Gaius proud. Accusations of magic were not something to be casually flung about since that was just the sort of thing that would catch his father's attention. Arthur hadn't slept well last night and frankly he had no desire to be subjected one of his father's harangues on the evils of magic just because one of his stable hands misplaced a horse. "Rest assured if any signs of magic use are discovered I will personally track down the one responsible for breaking the law. Which horse was taken?"

Hopefully it wasn't his.

"It was Dahlia, Sire." Arthur's face must have been as blank as his mind at the name because the large man clarified, "Dahlia is the mare that skinny manservant of yours favors."

"Ah of course. Is there any other information you have about the disappearance of Merlin's horse?"

Ambrose gave him a blank look.

"Merlin is the skinny manservant that favors Dahlia," Arthur clarified in turn.

"Oh. Him. No there was nothing my prince. Just she was missing, a saddle and equipment for her gone, and an empty stall when I showed up this morning."

"Well yes I will be addressing the matter with my Guard Captain and his new aide. Thank you Master Ambrose for bringing it to our attention, if that was all?"

"Yes my prince, that was all."

"Well if you think of anything else please do come speak with one of us," Arthur nodded toward his men who both made noises of agreement. Soon the three of them were alone in the room again. Arthur sank back into his original position of leaning on his fist. He gave a heavy stare at Brendanus and Reynard.

"So someone was sneaking out of the castle, with a horse… and not one of your men managed to SEE anything?"

Un-believable. Merlin was right. The guards around here were completely useless. Even with the extra help, they were having this much trouble. Both broke into apologies and explanations that Arthur was completely uninterested in hearing. He was going to have to report to his father this afternoon. It was a shame that someone had managed to sneak past all of his guards. The men were also rather enjoying getting to skulk around the grounds in regular clothes while on duty. The thing was (ignoring whatever had gotten so royally screwed up last night) the new system really had been improving security around the castle. If this got back to his father, the King might decide it wasn't worth the extra funding. Arthur ignored the words pouring over him. He simply shifted his head until it was cradled in his hand so he could rub his forehead.

He raised his free hand to stop the excuses. The two fell silent. He waved toward the door. "Leave me."

Finally he was left in silence to nurse the headache he had been harboring since he had woken up to Evan's voice this morning. Arthur shoved to his feet knowing that he would have to go and speak with his father about this, which is why he was surprised to discover that he was now standing outside Gaius's quarters knocking on the physician's door.

"Sire! Arthur come in," Gaius opened the door wide to let him enter.

"Thank you Gaius, I was wondering-"

"How Merlin was doing?"

"Well, yes, that too. Also I was hoping you had something for a headache. I've been having a bad day."

"The day's just started. What's wrong?"

"Well, I woke up with a bit of a headache. Then the first thing I hear is that someone was sneaking around last night, but no one was found. Then I hear whoever was sneaking around last night stole a horse. Now I've got to go explain to my father how a horse was taken from right underneath our noses." Arthur took the bottle that Gaius offered him and swallowed the thick liquid inside with a grimace. "Oh, that is awful stuff." Effective though, he could already feel the headache start to fade. He handed the glass vial back. "Hopefully I'll be able to talk him out of immediately launching a witch hunt, which he likely will do in spite of the fact that if a sorcerer took a horse they won't have stayed around in Camelot just to gloat about it. And I have a lazy manservant who likely let himself be injured just to spite me so he wouldn't have to show up and actually do his job. When is he going to be better?"

"Actually he seems to be completely recovered."

"Good I need to speak with him."

The old man paused.

Arthur was immediately suspicious. "Gaius?"

"Ah… Yes. About that my Prince…"

"Gaius my head is starting to hurt again."

"Your head is hurting again. Hm… The sounds like a tension headache. Perhaps I should have given you a different potion. And you woke up with the headache you say? What were you thinking about before you went to bed?"

'I was thinking about Merlin.'

"It doesn't matter what I was thinking about. Tell me what is wrong with Merlin this time!"

"Well you see, the thing is…" the old man waffled a moment before going toward a shelf with assorted bottles, avoiding answering Arthur's question.

"You're usually a better at coming up with plausible excuses than this. I'm really not going to like what you're about to say am I?"

"What makes you think that?" Gaius asks weakly. This time he turned back with a blue glass bottle in his hand.

"Because I haven't had a single bit of good news today. Why should that change now?"

"Well physically he's recovered, but since he was attacked by the wizard he now seems to feel that he's suffering under a curse."

"Cursed? What kind of a curse? What's wrong?" his voice rose on the last bit.

"I really couldn't say, really. Merlin did seem quite distraught though and said he felt it was best that he leave Camelot." Shaking his head the old man sank into one of the chairs by the table and motioned for Arthur to take a seat. "He left last night. I couldn't stop him."

"He left. What, last night?"

The physician poured a cup of tea for Arthur and slid it across the table to him after being sure to add sugar to sweeten it. He poured some for his self as well.

"Yes, yes, late last night. He just packed all his clothes said his goodbyes and ran out. Oh he did ask me to tell you he's sorry."

"Merlin left Camelot by himself in the middle of the night?" Merlin was sneaking around last night. A horse disappeared from his stables last night.

"Wait… We are talking about the same Merlin right? About my height, dark hair, big ears, twiggy-"

Gaius interrupted, "Actually I think he prefers to be called slender, Sire."

Arthur ignored this in favor of following his line of thought, "- with hideous neckerchiefs, and a ridiculous grin. That Merlin?"

"I certainly hope that there is only one Merlin of that sort running about the place. Please don't even kid about there being two of him," Gaius grumbled into his cup.

'Merlin managed to sneak past every single one of my night guards… with a horse.'

Arthur stared at Gaius's hand as he tried to wrap his head around that thought. The old man's hand was covered by brown, fingerless gloves and he was petting the teapot with absent strokes the way you'd pet a dog or a cat. That was rather strange. Not the strangest thing to happen today when it came down to it, but it was an odd habit to have picked up.

"D'you know where he was going?" Arthur asked.

"I think I did hear him say something about Ealdor, but I couldn't say for sure."

"He's going to Ealdor. With a horse that he got past every single one of my night guards. Because he thinks he's cursed. There are … absolutely no words…"

Arthur made a scoffing sound and flopped back in his chair. He roughly grabbed his tea cup and gulped some of the hot liquid. Then he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He very carefully set the teacup down. "Did you just hear something?"

Gaius eyebrowed at him. "Such as?"

"A, uh, scared sounding little squeak?"

"Are you sure there's nothing more than headaches bothering you sire?"

Arthur shoved to his feet. He shook his head at the old man's concern. "I'm fine. I should go check in with my father now."

"Don't forget your medicine Arthur. If your headache doesn't go away or comes back, drink this. Oh but make sure you give it at least till lunchtime for the first one to clear out of your system," the old man warned.

Arthur nodded his thanks and left. Soon he was arriving at the door to his father's study and he was going to have to go inside and he was going to have to figure out what to say about his men, not to mention his wayward servant. Cursed indeed. Arthur would show the boy cursed when he got his hands on him.

"Father," Arthur bowed his head in respect and waited for his acknowledgement.

"Arthur. I received a strange report that one of the horses was stolen. We can't have horses being stolen right out of the royal stables. We'll have every bandit in the entire country side trying to sneak into Camelot thinking it's an easy mark. I want you to look into that personally."

"That won't be necessary Father," Arthur answered evenly. He clasped his hands behind his back and hoped that Uther would believe the crap that was about to come out of his mouth as easily as he believed the crap that came out of Gaius.

Uther tilted his head and stared up at Arthur in surprise. "Oh, and why is that?"

"Because I arranged for the horse to be taken," he answered breezily.

"You- what?"

"Hunith wanted Merlin to go home when she found out he'd been injured. Merlin wanted to go home to reassure his mother he was fine. I wanted to test our new security. I told Merlin he was welcome to go home if he would just do me the favor of helping me out with that. The good news is not only was one of our horses not stolen but I now have some new ideas for improvements that can be made. I'll be discussing them with my men in our next meeting. Don't worry Father. By the time I'm finished our kingdom's security is going to be so tight that bandits won't dare to even think of trying to come into our kingdom, nevermind the castle."

"Good. That's good. I'm glad you're so enthused about this new project of yours. Speaking of bandits there have been reports of attacks along our borders. You may want to speak with Brendanus some time today about your new plans. I want you to take a group of your knights and go track them down. They seem to be coming from the east."

"From Cenred's territory?"

Ealdor was in Cenred's territory. Arthur had to fight to keep the smile from tugging at his lips.

"You are absolutely right Father. I'll speak with Brendanus this after we're done here and select some knights to take with me on the patrol."

"Oh and for God's sake speak with Ambrose and assure him that Dolly is safe with that idiot servant of yours."

"Dahlia," Arthur corrected automatically.

"Whatever. Just shut him up about that blasted horse."

Arthur couldn't keep the smirk off his face. "If Your Majesty will excuse me I'll go see to that right now."

Uther waved him off. Arthur bowed and left, already planning who he would take with him on his search tomorrow.

"And so that was how I ended up committing Grand Theft Equine. Though I'm hopeful Arthur will cover for me when he figures out I was the one who took the horse."

"You stole a horse from the royal stables? Merlin you could be executed for that!"

"I could've been executed for levitating the horse over the castle wall too. On the plus side I can't be executed more than once."

"Don't even joke about that," Hunith warned him quite seriously.

His mother, bless her had opened the door to the strange girl on her doorstep with a kind greeting that she would have given anyone knocking on their door. Then Hunith had noticed her son's clothing. Her eyes had immediately flown up, searching his face. Merlin had wanted to say something but he found his tongue had been glued to the roof of his mouth as he stared right back at the woman who had raised him. When she finally spoke words that tumbled from her lips were, "Merlin? Oh my baby boy what has happened to you this time?"

She was obviously still stressed over the thought of how close he had come to dying. Realizing that the only reason he wasn't dead or paralyzed had been because he had been cursed into a female form apparently had helped her cope with the strange fact that her son was now a daughter. Actually when she put it like that, he felt a bit better about being a girl as well. Still his mother had experienced enough emotional trauma for the day so he immediately apologized and promised he wouldn't joke about getting caught engaging in highly illegal and/or treasonous activities for the rest of his visit.

"Oh that reminds me!" He set his tea down and jumped up to grab package from where he had set them down in the corner along with travel bag in the corner. "Here, Gaius wanted me to give you these. He said he thought it would make a nice present for you and asked me to bring them with me."

Hunith unwrapped the mop (and now for sure broom) with a confused look on her face. The broom immediately jumped up and began to sweep, apparently pleased to be free and back to work. The mop trailed after the broom, happy to simply continue to bask in the presence of its partner. Hunith stared at them, then at Merlin, silently demanding an explanation.

"I uh, guess I forgot to mention that bit. I'm afraid I had a sort of an accident," Merlin admitted with a guilty duck of his head. His scarf cooed and waved at his mother from atop his head. Hunith blinked. She gave a tiny, hesitant wave back before she went back to studying the cleaning supplies kicking up dust in the living area.

"So Gaius decided to 'gift' them to me?" she raised a slightly skeptical brow toward them. "Really, why does that man always try to dump his discards on me? Not that I can't usually find a use for them, but I'm a little confused about what I'm supposed to do with a self cleaning broom and mop."

Privately Merlin agreed but he felt he should offer some show of support toward his uncle's intentions. That and well, they were his creations and they really were a nice set if he did say so himself.

"Come on, how do you know he wasn't just trying to be nice? I mean it is kind of a thoughtful gift."

"Merlin, our house has dirt floors."

End Notes: I know that nobody can hear it, but I swear to you that during Merlin's trek to the stables, I swear that somewhere in the world the Mission Impossible theme song was playing. So even though poor Merlin does get screwed with a lot, please know that he at least has a good soundtrack to keep him company.
Also I wrote this chapter three times before I was satisfied with it, or at least too sick of it to care anymore. By that time I no longer cared about plot and was writing purely for my own amusement since I figured it couldn't get any worse than my first two attempts. I apologize for this. Please excuse me as I must now go hide my face in shame.