A/N: As I am writing this I am suffering from a nasty, swollen spot on my hip. Tonight I actually created this story, posted the prologue, though as you can see I am actually currently writing several chapters ahead. By the time you read this chapter my hip will no longer be swollen from where I bashed it while I was waitressing. I just find that interesting how in a way this writing is a sort of time machine. You are all able to look back on my personal past while this piece effectively leaps forward in time. Nice…yes, I think and muse too much to myself. But that's what writers are for!

Disclaimer: I do not own them

Ignorance is Bliss

The inuyoukai that Sesshomaru had ordered to report in on his wife in the secret palace on the lake was commonly called Daken. It was not really his name, but it was what everyone called him and how the grizzled inuyoukai introduced himself. He was of a lowly family and the dog demon clan never afforded him any respect. He'd left them long ago, fed up and disgusted much as Sesshomaru had been. It was this likeness that drove Daken into Sesshomaru's service, and in spite of his low rank, Daken was a very loyal and hard-working warrior.

New he related what the humans told him of Ginrei in the palace on the lake.

"They tell me she wakes in the night, screaming. She is plagued by nightmares. She refuses the calming teas that are offered to her. The cook can barely get her to eat or to drink. She spends most of her day sleeping."

Sesshomaru found it was becoming harder and harder to appear unconcerned at Daken's words. It had been four weeks since he had left Ginrei alone in the palace. His new wife had never tried to run away, but she was suffering nonetheless. The first report that Daken had given him had not been quite as dire. Sesshomaru had hoped that the time alone, on the tranquility of the lake, would draw the inuyoukai girl's memories away from the terror of her recent past. He hoped that she would come to terms with her situation and be ready for him upon his next visit.

The sooner he could gain the heirs he needed for the Western Lands, the sooner he could be rid of the secret and its horrible weight on him. The thought of lying with a different female at night disturbed him, but it needed to be done. Heirs did not magically appear out of thin air.

He had only one true worry however concerning the inuyoukai girl. "Do they believe she will die or try to take her own life?"

Daken's jaw tightened. "Of course she should have died with all the rest of Nishiyori's brood, but I know she is watched carefully, Sesshomaru." Daken was one of a handful of creatures that could dare to address Sesshomaru without any proper titles or due respect. This was because they had known one another for many, many years, and fought beside one another in several wars. Daken was old enough that, as a youth, before Sesshomaru had been old enough to think clearly, Daken had fought under Inutaisho's lead before, defending the Western Lands.

"She must be kept alive." Sesshomaru allowed the rumble of a threat to enter his voice. There would be dire consequences if the girl died without producing the heir he needed.

Daken nodded, his face set in a hard scowl, but that expression was likely there because the old demon suffered arthritis, not because he was actually making a face at Sesshomaru. "How is your lady? The human."

Now Sesshomaru threw the old inuyoukai a cold, withering glare. "She is well enough."

The old demon cracked a grin that was without any mirth. Several of his teeth were missing but his canines, though graying and decayed, were still defiantly present. "You haven't told her, have you Lord Sesshomaru?" his tone was mildly mocking and Sesshomaru bristled and then regretted it when he saw Daken's eyes crinkle with amusement.

"The secret is what kills, Sesshomaru." Daken started in a gentler voice, sighing, "She will understand your need. She cannot change the way things are, the way they need to be. But she will hate you for leaving her in the dark. Humans hate being blinded like that, they have terrible eyes."

"Do not speak again." Sesshomaru warned him, amber eyes narrowed murderously.

Daken was still grinning defiantly. He bowed low, "Lord Sesshomaru."

"She's gone mad." The human woman was middle aged, messy and all gray. The lines around her mouth and lips were flexing currently as Daken stared at her. She was a worrier, he could tell easily from those lines. Also from the way she twisted her hands together, rubbing, wringing. The motions should have hurt her or caused discomfort. They probably did actually, in the form of arthritis—but the woman was so tense in his presence and with the topic that she didn't notice her own actions.

"She tried to kill herself." Daken didn't pose it as a question, he had anticipated this.

The worrying woman nodded emphatically. Her hands twisted on themselves, her fingers looked misshapen, some parts too big, others too small.

"Did she hurt herself?" he asked.

The woman shook her head. "She had not actually done anything when I found her. She had the knife—" the woman held her hands out in front of her, miming holding a cylindrical object and pointing it at her throat, "—like this. Ready to do it, but she isn't really trying. She…" the woman began wringing her hands yet again now that the miming was done. "She does not want to live, but cannot bring herself to die at her own hand."

Daken grunted. It had only been a few days since he'd gotten back from visiting Sesshomaru. Now it appeared he would need to head right back. He wondered idly if Sesshomaru would kill the inuyoukai girl for having attempted to kill herself. It was amusing, he thought, smirking.

The woman stared at him with disbelief and then frowned looking away. She couldn't understand his glee of course. Daken straightened up, becoming serious. "Let me speak with her."

"She is married." The woman shot back, appalled. For one man to speak alone to another's wife—it was incredibly unseemly and the last thing she wanted to have to do was wring her hands in front of Sesshmaru explaining to him why the inuyoukai girl was pregnant when he—her husband—had never touched her.

This also amused Daken, as many things did. He grinned as he answered her. "I don't need to speak with her alone. You may accompany us by all means." When she still appeared doubtful he added, "It will not take long."

Slowly the woman sighed and rose to her feet. Daken noted that she had yet to quit twisting and rubbing her hands together with nervousness. She led him into the palace and up the stairs to the farthest bedroom from the stairway and the balcony. It was a brightly lit room, filled with a sweet scent of flowers and herbs. There was a younger woman in attendance, sewing quietly as the inuyoukai girl slept on the futon. The maid blinked up at Daken as he entered, falling into a startled bow and dropping her sewing.

The heavier tread in the room made Ginrei move in the bed. She opened bleary, sleepy eyes to look at him. Daken saw no recognition in her eyes, in fact he saw very little even in the way of consciousness or thought.

Solemn now, he knelt at the edge of her bed and bowed. "Lady Sesshomaru." The improvised title bothered him, tickling his amusement again. He snorted as he sat up to hide it. "I understand you are unhappy. May I ask if one of your reasons is loneliness?"

She stared at him with the palest blue eyes he'd ever seen. Slowly her brow furrowed, as if he'd asked the question in a foreign language. "Loneliness?" she repeated in a scratchy, unclear voice. She frowned at it and lifted one hand to hide her face from him from beneath her covers.

Daken grunted, nodding to himself. She had not answered his question truly, but the scratch in her voice and what he knew of where she came from told him enough. Part of her madness, the inability to overcome her loss and accept her circumstances—which were not entirely bad, despite the grave dishonor of her family—was brought on by social deprivation. When she had lived under Nishiyori's roof there would have always been others, women mostly, but always kin. She would have enjoyed talking, gossip, song, games, laughter, and lessons in whatever her father and other male relatives saw fit.

Now she was confined to the small palace on the lake, with no one to talk to but human maids and distant inuyoukai guards. She could stare out at the lake all day and all night and think about nothing else but her loss. Sesshomaru had left her alone in the palace to give her time to heal, but it was in fact like leaving her wounds untreated, open and festering.

He rose to his feet and left the room at once. At the door he stretched his legs, preparing for the long journey in his true form across the Isei and into the mountains of the Western Lands where Sesshomaru's castle was nestled. The nervous woman ran after him panting, her gray hair flying around her face like spider webs.

"Sir! Sir! Where are you going? What will I tell the girl you are doing for her?"

He grinned, showing his abused and mostly missing teeth. "Tell her I'm going to fetch her husband to give her a good time." And then he hurried out and over the bridge and vanished into the shadow of the snowy gardens beyond.

Rin was waiting in the darkness of the room. She was fresh from her bath; Sesshomaru could scent the imported oils that had been combed into her hair, rubbed into her skin. He took a moment, pausing just inside the door, to take those scents in, letting them brush the most primal, basic parts of his brain…

She heard him at the door, sensed the increased light from behind her in the hallway. He knew this not because she turned to look but because her back stiffened, arching slightly, and because her scent spiked with anticipation. "Sesshomaru-sama," she purred, using the woman's voice she cultivated for quiet, sensuous moments.

When she turned to search the room for him in the dark she could not see him. Sesshomaru would've smirked at the disappointment he saw etched on her face but it might've given him away. The flash of his white fangs in the dark of the shadow would be a sure way to draw her eyes. One thing Daken had said was true about humans; they truly had abysmal night vision. It bordered on ridiculous.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" she called again, and this time she shifted and rose to her feet slowly. As her body turned Sesshomaru was able to see that she had already undone her robes. They fell loosely around her, half-off her shoulders and peaking open in a V-shape as they fell away towards the floor. Sesshomaru's keen night vision could make out the white fullness of one breast partially exposed by the loose robes. (A/N: Gasp! I'm so naughty!)

She had pinned her hair up messily, exposing her shoulders and neck. The coals from the brazier nearby cast a golden orange glow that suffused her skin with the light. She seemed more than human then, but not as a youkai either. She was something else, spiritual, powerful, beautiful. If he'd had such a word or idea he might've said angelic, cherubic. Heavenly though, yes, that was the right word. But he had some very impure thoughts and plans for her, as it was clear she did as well.

He decided not to wait any longer. Like a predator he raced out of the shadows, pouncing on his prey. She cried out in surprise and lifted her arms in self-defense but Sesshomaru bowled her over, knocking her off her feet only to catch her before she could hit the ground. The entire motion had been done so fast that he was only a blur, yet it was completely within his control.

When he pinned her on the bed beneath him the robe had fallen wide open. She was flushed and breathing hard already, though he'd barely touched her. (A/N: yeah right about here I start getting antsy, like, uh oh, crossing the line, even though I know almost all of you, probably all, are screaming NO it's fine, keep going! Hehe, it is good to be evil.)

"Sesshomaru-sama…" she purred, gazing up at him. Her eyes were lit by the dim coals of the brazier in the one corner. She wrapped her legs around his hips and Sesshomaru noted detachedly that she wasn't even wearing socks.

That observation brought on another memory: the heavy and lavish ceremonial kimono he'd packed and transported with him hurriedly to the Isei province, the inuyoukai girl lying limp in his arms after the wedding, and his sudden realization and regret that he had forgotten to pack socks. His new wife had been married barefoot (A/N: Of course I am assuming, perhaps incorrectly, that they are married in socks and not barefoot).

The guilt swamped him from nowhere, attacking like a thousand tiny bees. Each pinprick hurt, but a thousand could kill. And yet, despite his inward anxiety, there was no sign of it outwardly except his pause as he stared down at Rin.

It was enough to reveal something to her.

She tilted her head concernedly and raised one hand, brushing it against his cheek. The touch broke Sesshomaru out of his reverie. He blinked once and abruptly remembered where he was and what was about to happen—Rin's aroused scent invaded his nose and shot straight to his brain.

He let the deep, chest-rumbling growl spill out of him at last and clutched onto Rin, rolling over the bed and the rich furs.

When Rin awoke she was delighted to find Sesshomaru still lying beside her, seemingly asleep. Sometimes he would leave her before dawn, going about his duties before she had woken, or perhaps avoiding being seen by the maids—he had a nasty habit of resting above the covers while being very nude.

She took advantage of the moment he'd given her, sitting up partially and leaning to examine his face. There were only a few fine lines, he seemed to be ageless. Unlike a human he never shaved, he grew no facial hair. The crescent moon on his forehead, the reddish pigment in his cheeks…she knew them close up now after her long years at his side. They had the appearance of being tattoo-like; they were just like the rest of his skin but a different color. The crescent moon was slightly raised, more like a mole than a tattoo.

She traced his pointed hears with her fingers, the lines of muscles on his neck, the point of his chin, the shape of his lips…

And then of course, she realized he wasn't truly sleeping.

The demon pounced on her once more, pressing against her, growling low and so deep she could feel the vibrations in her chest. He had just started to pull her over on top of him—the position was one they often adopted because Sesshomaru had only one arm (A/N: wow, ouch, that would suck! Only one arm I mean)—when a whiny little voice came floating into the room from down the hall, it was shouting, "Lord Sesshomaru! Lord Sesshomaru!"

The pitter patter of little toad feet was growing steadily stronger.

Sesshomaru's growl of pleasure and seduction turned into one with homicidal thoughts. As he pulled away from her he didn't speak but his amber eyes firmly shouted: "I'll kill him."

The toad was down the hall, sliding open the screen door to Sesshomaru's own chamber…but of course Sesshomaru was rarely there sleeping innocently. Jaken always made sure to shout a lot before he opened a door, and then always to flatten himself while covering his eyes. He had intruded far, far too many intimate moments than was likely safe.

Now as he prostrated himself and waited for several seconds, he knew that he'd chosen the wrong room. He always tried Sesshomaru's chambers first—just because he knew his lord was rarely there. That gave Sesshomaru time to dress in Rin's room, which was where he usually was.

The toad sighed and then hopped to his feet and rushed back down the hall, heading for Rin's chambers now. "Lord Sesshomaru! Lord Sesshomaru!" he knelt down at Rin's screen door and stretched his clawed, reptilian-ish fingers for it, but the screen slid open before he could touch it. He flattened his face to the floor at once.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" he shouted again, still smashed against the floor apologetically.

"Haven't I told you before, Jaken, that I would kill you if you disturbed me early in the morning like this again?" only Sesshomaru's eyes spoke the fullness of his threat to the toad, his voice remained uninterested and distant. He had managed to dress himself in a bland white robe, a morning robe. It wasn't his own; it was too small and narrow.

"Yes, my lord, you have!" Jaken squeaked, "But Lord Sesshomaru, this matter is urgent! You told me always to alert you when that inuyoukai Daken comes to meet with you! And he's here, asking to see you, lord."

Sesshomaru stepped forward, making sure to stamp on the toad as he left Rin's room. Jaken squawked, but he remained where he was, always obedient. Sesshomaru slid the door behind him closed and began to walk away from Rin in her room and Jaken still prostrated before it. The toad leapt to his feet, pleading for permission to follow him ad for forgiveness as always. Sesshomaru ignored him, his thoughts troubled with more pressing concerns. What has happened that Daken has returned so soon?

By the time that Sesshomaru reached the audience room, after stopping to quickly dress in more appropriate robes, the combination of irritation and guilt that had awoken within him was beginning to drive him insane. He took a seat before Daken and found that staring at the old, grizzled inuyoukai made him want to scowl. There was a foul taste in the back of his throat. "Speak, Daken. Why have you come back?"

Daken shifted on his knees, trying to ease his tired, arthritic limbs. "Your wife tried to take her own life, Sesshomaru."

The taste in Sesshomaru's mouth deepened. "Did she succeed?" part of him hoped that she had, though he could tell by Daken's underlying tone of worry that she was still alive.

"No, as I told you, she is always watched. One of the women was able to stop her. But—" he stopped, bowing a little and clearing his throat, "Lord Sesshomaru, you must understand this inuyoukai girl was one of Nishiyori's brood. She has never before been alone without other inuyoukai her entire life. You have left her in that palace to rot with her misery. She will kill herself, whether it be by knife or by slow pathetic starvation—mark my words—she will do herself in."

Sesshomaru stiffened. The corners of his lips turned downward once and stayed that way unhappily in a half-expression that revealed the depth of his agitation. "Are you suggesting that she should be killed?"

Daken snorted, frowning. "Not unless that's what you want. But after all the fuss—no. I'm saying that she needs company—your company."

This apparently surprised Sesshomaru. His face blanked of all emotion, he didn't even blink. Daken worked very hard to control his own expression, to keep from reacting with amusement.

"She has never been kept alone, Sesshomaru. Your wife needs social stimulation from other inuyoukai to recover from her losses. If you wish her to recover and give you healthy heirs, I would suggest you pay her a social visit." He didn't believe that it was within Sesshomaru's nature to be comforting. Despite the fluffy thing the demon lord carted around with him over one shoulder he was actually cold and distant with most creatures—not usually prone to violence unless provoked in most instances. How was he going to inspire the inuyoukai girl with a will to live?

"I cannot spare her much time. There are many things that require my attention." Sesshomaru replied blandly.

Daken cackled hoarsely and Sesshomaru bristled at the sound, noticeably. "The only thing," Daken began through his laughter, "That requires your attention here, Lord Sesshomaru, is that human of yours."

Sesshomaru pinned him with narrowed amber eyes. "You would do well to learn some manners, Daken." He warned.

"Yah," he grunted, "So they tell me. But we both know it's the truth. I just brought it out in the open, Lord Sesshomaru." He bowed, smirking all the way down and all the way back up. "If you order it I will go back to the palace and execute her myself—but if not…"

There was a pause between them as Daken waited for Sesshomaru's final word on his wife's fate. Sesshomaru appeared to lose focus on the grizzled old inuyoukai. His amber gaze wandered around the audience room, admiring the golden fusuma, the brushwork on some of the ink paintings there. At last he said, "You are to leave her alive, Daken. I will be visiting her within the morrow."

Daken hid the smile on his lips by bowing again. "I thank you, Lord Sesshomaru." He hadn't wanted to kill the girl; it really would be a shame. She was a beautiful thing, fragile and delicate like a flower. Indeed, Nishiyori had likely had a huge treasure trove of inuyoukai girls at his disposal. It was a shame that most of them had died. Daken was delighted that one had been spared, unwittingly, by Sesshomaru. If he had been several hundred years younger he might've asked Sesshomaru to terminate the marriage and give the girl to him instead, but he was old, the time for girls, mates, and wives, had come and gone in his long life.

He wasted little time after receiving Sesshomaru's final word. He hurried out of the castle and donned his true form again, stretching only briefly before he ran out for the Isei province and the secret palace.

Sesshomaru, meanwhile, stayed inside the audience room, conflicted by his own decisions. A maid stepped into the room, assuming by the silence that both Sesshomaru and Daken had exited and ended their meeting, only to gasp with fright at seeing her lord sitting much like a statue in the room. She begged his forgiveness and excused herself from the room without ever getting a reply from Sesshomaru. Guards walked to and fro outside the audience room, muttering occasionally to themselves about tired feet and bitter old wives.

After nearly an hour Sesshomaru rose to his feet and at last exited the room. He found the toad Jaken in his small personal chambers, dozing off on his tiny, personalized futon. The toad sprang instantly awake when Sesshomaru appeared at the door, called to attention by some inner sixth sense that alerted him to almost everything Sesshomaru did (except perhaps when he walked away while Jaken was still musing to himself).

"Lord Sesshomaru!" the toad fell at once into a bow, mumbling apologies. He almost certainly believed that he was about to be punished for disturbing his lord while he was recreating with Rin, yet again.

"Jaken," Sesshomaru began, "I will be leaving this evening for the Isei province. There are some confidential matters of the civil war there that must be attended to. You will accompany me."

The toad's yellow eyes bugged out with shock. "Yes! Yes my lord, of course, certainly!"

Sesshomaru was already walking away by the end of Jaken's wild exclamations of acceptance. Jaken stared after him, still shocked, yet already the wheels in his head were beginning to turn. Soon enough he would know just what it was that his lord was hiding away in the Isei province and why the war in the Middle Lands had been so important…

Outside of Rin's room, Sesshomaru hesitated. It was a crime to slip out of Rin's room and then meet with Daken, give his word that he would leave Rin for a time for the benefit of another female…

The niggling voice in the back of his mind, a conscience he hadn't been aware he'd had—well no, actually that wasn't true. There had been many times when that conscience had stayed his hand, kept him on one side of a line of cruelty that he truly had yet to pass. He was not a demon that tortured others, nor did he really go out looking for trouble for the most part. He craved power, yes, but no more than most demons. The biggest example was probably Inuyasha. There had been many times when he could easily have killed his half-brother—when the hanyou was just a baby, when he was newly orphaned, even once Inuyasha was matured enough to defend himself—but he never had. It boiled down to conscience, he owed it to his father, and he honored that.

That and it had never truly been his style to kill newborns or those that were truly defenseless.

But now, he was beginning to feel that he'd crossed the line. Rin had always understood that as the lord of the Western Lands he would need to find a full blooded youkai to bear full blooded offspring. Any hanyou children that Rin bore him would be useless as far as inheriting the Western Lands—not because they would make bad rulers, but because it would be difficult for them to sire heirs of their own and the bloodline would be lost.

Sesshomaru could not allow that to happen, he owed his father and all of his ancestors that much. And it was part of his own quest for power. He would never allow his territory pass to someone else as long as he had strength left. The Western Lands would fall to his heirs, his bloodline.

Rin understood all of this. There was no reason that he should hide the truth from her—and yet he found the thought of revealing what he had done entirely undesirable. Her pain already in the loss of their offspring over and over again was difficult for him to cope with. He was, as Daken rightly knew, a creature not given to comforting displays. He was like snuggling a pincushion. Even Inuyasha had a better grasp on how to handle personal grief.

Sesshomaru was a lord, not a lover at his core. He could care, he could wish to comfort Rin, but in the end he was helpless to do it.

The thought of bringing her more pain only worked to trouble him hopelessly. He knew logically that she would find out. There was no real way to keep a thing like this from her forever. Eventually, if all went well, Ginrei would bare him a suitable heir, and then Sesshomaru would have to take up a fatherly role to raise it. Of course that meant bringing the newborn into the castle in the Western Lands. He couldn't very well lie to Rin about his own heir. Then she would know, and then she would be most angry with him…

Sesshomaru flinched openly, just thinking about it. Yes, he concluded, he would have to tell her the truth now…

He stepped forward and slid the door to Rin's bed chambers open. She was sleeping under the covers peacefully, still as naked as when he had left her. He paused just inside the room admiring the way the new day sunlight streamed in from the windows and lit the room. The light bounced off the walls, making them glow warmly. The anxiety from his meeting with Daken melted away.

He made a move to step forward, to crawl onto the bed beside her—but when he made out her face, peaceful, smiling slightly in her sleep, her black hair spread out around her wildly from the night before—Sesshomaru froze. He pushed himself inwardly, trying to overcome the invisible barrier within him, but it was unrelenting. He could not face her; he could not wake her from that sleep. Whatever sweet dreams she was having, he could not bring himself to wake her and tell her something that would only hurt her…

Slowly he turned and left the room, half-gliding like a wraith. The sliding door closed behind him gently and the demon lord left Rin in her sleep, blissful and ignorant.

A/N: I have nothing really to put in here for a teaser b/c during the holidays I've done jack crap with myself as far as writing has gone. I really, really need to be back at my college, doing the English thing properly. Discipline and practice perfect any art form. And I believe writing to be an art, though I am one of the least artistic ppl around, I'm just creative. Or at least I like to think I am. But you will all be hearing from me, rest assured...I just decided I had to update SOMETHING and this was what I had...I hope you enjoyed it :-D