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"You've been quiet all day, mon petit lion," Laf said as the Revolutionary Crew walked to their Council meeting. Alex stuffed one of his hands pocket and let out a quiet sigh. He should have been happy. John's hand was wrapped around his own and they were walking together in the hallway as a brand new couple. When they told Laf and Herc that they were official, Laf let out a little shriek and Herc shook their hands with vigor and excitement. John did most of the talking, but Alex allowed himself to smile a little in response to the news. Deep down, he felt guilty. His skin was tainted and his lips were dry and chapped from a seemingly never-ending night and there was nothing he could do about it.
John didn't seem to notice his discomfort and if he did, he was keeping quiet about it until later when they were alone. So, when Lafayette made the statement about his lack of words, Alex didn't know what to do. If he opened his mouth, he thought he might never be able to shut it again and then he would reveal things that he wasn't ready for his friends to know. Even worse, he might start crying and then he would really be fucked. Instead of doing either of those things, Alex shrugged and let out a small, "Sorry," with no explanation whatsoever.
John squeezed his hand and gave him a look as if to say, we'll talk about this later? , but Alex just looked away. He hated that he had to be so cold and distant with him, but at some point he was going to have to tell John and continuing to fall in love with him more would only hurt him more in the end. He didn't want to create a stronger attatchment that would leave John feeling betrayed and heartbroken. Yes, he was raped, but he knew that was his fault. If he could only just follow the rules and do what he was told, then James would be good to him. He did what he was told last night and James had raised his curfew. Alex knew he was screwed up. Once he stopped messing everything up he would be good enough for John. He just wasn't there yet.
When they walked into The Council meeting, Angelica was already seated and staring Alex down from the time the walked in the door until the meeting was called. He shot Eliza a glance and she mouthed 'I'm sorry', meaning that she probably told Angelica that something was up with him. Due to the fact that Angelica wasn't exactly subtle with her feelings, Alex could read her concern like a book. He was going to have to lie to the sisters. He was going to have to lie to John. He hated lying, but it had to be done.
"This meeting is being called to order," Angelica called out, smacking her hand on the table like she always did. Immediately everyone took a seat behind their plack, many with pens, notebooks, and typed out rough drafts in their hands. Alex was ashamed to know that he hadn't even started his assignment yet. He was going to push out a rough draft last night, but things got complicated. He'll just have to stay up even later tonight.
"Just as a reminder, final drafts are due to me tomorrow by three. Got it? No late pieces you little fucks, you know I don't do that shit. Does anyone have anything they want to bring to the table to discuss? Questions about pieces? Come on people lets hear 'em," Angelica began, waiting expectantly. Not suprisingly, Peggy was the first one to speak her mind.
"As you all know, I've been trying for weeks to write a piece on Conservatism vs. Liberalism but the Young Conservatives Club president refuses to speak to me! I don't understand, I've been incredibly friendly…" She rambled.
"Pegs, they probably think you're going to sway the article in favor of the liberal side and make the conservatives sound like shit heads," Angelica explained.
"I wasn't!" Peggy scoffed. Angelica and Eliza both rolled their eyes; they knew how Peggy could be. She was a loud-mouthed fighter who did whatever she could to get what she wanted and she was passionate about what she believed in. Peggy was a flaming liberal and everyone knew it, so it was really no surprise that the 'Young Conservatives Club' president wouldn't speak to her.
"I'll talk to him," Eliza announced patiently. "If anything, I'll get the interview with him and you can use it in your article." Everyone immediately knew that that was a better plan of action. Eliza had a special way with words and could woo anyone that she smiled at. Plus, she was gorgeous, but that wasn't the only reason she charmed everyone she met.
"Alright, now that that's settled, anything else?" Angelica sighed. Peggy was exhausting sometimes. When there was silence from the rest of the group, Angelica took the moment to say something that she considered incredibly important. "Well then, I'd just like to say, if any of you never need anything- and I mean anything," she said pointedly looking at Alex. "Please feel free to come to me. With all the time that we spend together, we're basically a family. I hope you keep that in mind. That's all; meeting adjourned." It was odd for Angelica to be sappy in any way, shape or form but for some odd reason, people had a soft spot for Alex. When Angelica heard that he might be hurt, she showed her affection in the only way she knew how, through her power.
Alex swallowed the sour taste in his mouth and looked away from Angelica's questioning stare. Having more concerned people around him wouldn't help; it would only hurt. Whatever happened, he needed to keep the Schuyler sisters out of his mess. He couldn't ruin the innocence that he saw in Eliza's eyes or the determination he saw in Peggy's or the bit of softness he saw in Angelica's. You were only supposed to read about rape in the newspapers. It wasn't supposed to happen to your friends or your family.
But this rape, he had to keep reminding himself, was different. It made James happy and it made him tolerable. This would be a good thing in the end. This would be a good thing.
Alex didn't get up right away at the end of the meeting. He sat in his chair, lost in thought, when everyone else was up and buzzing around. Originally, John was standing with Laf and Herc, but when Alex didn't join them, he went over and sat next to him.
"You know I haven't even started my rough draft yet?" Alex laughed before John had the chance to ask him what was wrong. John was surprised; Alex was almost always editing his pieces by this point and had completed at least three rough drafts. It was odd for him to ever be behind on his work.
"That's okay, I'm sure you'll get it done by tomorrow, you always do," John assured him. Alex gave him a half smile in return. It was those damn freckles. They got him every time. "Besides, you never sleep anyway."
"That's true," Alex responded, giving him a suggestive sideways glance. John just laughed and tried to ignore the bags underneath Alex's eyes and the vibration of his hands that didn't seem to stop.
Across the room, Eliza was standing alone, her hands wrapped around her phone, trying not to draw attention to herself. Angelica and Peggy were off in the corner arguing about Peggy's controversial piece, so she was trying to stay out of it. Besides, Sam would be there in any minute and she didn't want him to walk in and see her talking to someone he didn't approve of. Sam didn't approve of a lot of the things she did. She was lucky she was a part of the paper, especially with Alex Hamilton being a part of it as well. He really hated him, and Eliza knew it was all her fault. One day, when he was reading her texts, they had a huge fight about her 'relationship' with Alex. She said they were just friends, but he insisted he saw something more. He even tried to get her to quit The Council and to stop talking to him, but she drew the line there. It was the one thing she ever asked from him and it would be the only thing she ever asked from him. Ever since, she's tried to be more passive around him and give into his demands. Anything to keep him from forcing her out of the paper.
"Babe!" Seabury called out as he entered the room. "Let's go!" The staff members became almost silent, as his presence was loud enough for all of them. "Your friends are weird," he remarked, slinging his arm around her and basically dragging her out the door.
The next morning, Alex woke up in a cold sweat. His hair was damp and it looked like he had kicked his sheets off of himself at some point during the night. As he stared at the ceiling, he tried to ignore the stench of James's cologne all over him.
He had more reasons than one to feel guilty that morning. He had planned to stay up late that night and write his article that was due that day to Angelica. For some strange reason, he hadn't believed that James would have his way with him two days in row. How innocent his thoughts had been. He had never not finished a piece. He knew his friends were going to get supicious. He could cut school, blame it on being sick, but James would be pissed if he stayed home alone without his knowledge and certainly wouldn't excuse him. There was no way out of this. He was going to have to lie again. Maybe if he started the day off with nothing to hide, people wouldn't question him as much.
Alex: John, I messed up. Fuck.
John: What'd you do?
Alex: I didn't write my article
John: At all?
Alex: At all.
John: That's not like you.
Alex: I fucked up, I fell asleep.
John: It'll be all right. You can just explain what happened to Angelica. She'll understand.
Alex: Okay. I'll see you at school.
John: 3
At least John would be on his side. John would believe him. Alex rolled out of bed and didn't even bother to cover himself before entering his own room. No one was home, and besides, he had given up on decency anyway. As he put his clothes on for school, he avoided the mirror that he knew he would have to face eventually. All he wanted was to not have any more marks to cover up. He hadn't given Eliza's foundation back and thankfully she hadn't asked, but still it felt embarrassing and secretive.
As slowly as he could, Alex slipped on his jeans and flannel and tied his hair up. When he had finally worked up the courage, he unzipped the front pocket of his backpack and pulled out the foundation, rolling it through his fingers. He then placed the bottle down on the dresser top and leaned against it, fully prepared to use the tainted liquid.
Unfortuantely, he was right. There were two more new dark purple marks on his body, one on his neck and one on his collarbone. With regret and fatigue, he rubbed the foundation on the marks and hoped and prayed that everything would go well at The Council later that afternoon.
"Alright everyone, line up, hand in your pieces. Let's go! I don't have all day!" Angelica announced and one by one The Council members began to hand in their typed up articles that they had either been working on for days or weeks, depending on their skill level.
Seeing the pale look on Alex's face, John squeezed his hand in comfort. "We'll just explain and everything will be fine. You've never missed a deadline before and plenty of these bozos have and have gotten off scott free. Don't worry about it, babe." Alex almost let out a little laugh when John called him babe. It was cute, but unexpected.
"Here it is!" Peggy yelled. "Conservatism v. Liberalism: an article by Miss Peggy Schuyler! I couldn't have done it with out my dear sister, Eliza. She was the brain of the whole operation." With exaggerated motion she handed the piece of paper into Angelica's hands.
Eliza just laughed, saying, "Oh my word. I hope you didn't blow the whole thing out of proportion."
In response, Peggy ran towards her and enveloped her in a full force embrace. It was her first article that was going to be published, and no one could blame her for being so excited. Turn-in day was always the best. Writers hung around to celebrate being done for the week, drinking soda and eating cookies. Even Alex usually enjoyed the break. But today was different. Today, he hadn't finished his piece. Today, he had left Angelica without a cover story, which meant Jefferson's idiotic words would probably be on the front page.
Staring at her clipboard with her hand out to collect each work, Angelica stood at the hand of the room, always the center of power and attention. "Okay, Laurens, check. Hamilton?" She looked up from her papers when Alex didn't put anything her hand. "Hamilton, where's your piece?"
"I don't have it. I'm really sorry, Angelica, I fell asleep and…" Alex stammered. Angelica took a hard look at him and made her decision quickly.
"Both of you stand over there while I collect the rest of the articles," she demanded. John and Alex did what they were told and stood to the side of her. Nobody ever said no to Angelica because she tended to be right about most things. It would be stupid to cross her.
Although only five minutes had passed, Alex thought it felt like eternity. Angelica kept looking at him out of the corner of her eye with such an intense stare that Alex thought he was going to cry. He was a fuck up, and now he was going to be screamed at. He could feel it.
"Okay, that's it everyone!" She called out. "I hate to cut this party short, but everyone except for Hamilton, Laurens, Lafayette, Mulligan, and my sisters need to get their asses out of this room, no questions asked. Got it?" Alex's face went ghost white as he stuffed his hands in his pocket and looked at the floor. What was she doing, keeping an audience in the room for when she screamed at him?
"Sounds like the worst party ever," Jefferson sneered. "Schuylers, that Revolutionary Crew is only going to bring your status down."
"Fuck off, Thomas," Eliza spat. Everyone couldn't believe what had just come out of Eliza's mouth. She almost never swore.
"Ah, what's with the language, princess? You don't want me to go tell Sam what you've been saying with that dirty mouth of yours, do you?" Eliza immediately shrunk into herself.
"Get. Out." Angelica seethed through gritted teeth. Thomas put his hands up as if to surrender and then walked out with the rest of the writers trailing behind him.
Lafayette, being the man that he was, went straight over to Eliza and pulled her into him. He swore he could hear a tiny sob escape her lips, but when they broke away her face was dry of tears.
"Listen, Angelica, I'm really sorry," Alex blurted out.
"Alex, I don't give a fuck that you didn't hand in your article," Angelica stated, her arms crossed. Alex immediately let out a sigh of relief. "But Alex, I know covered up hickeys when I see them and I can see the shame in your eyes. Plus, every couple of days you show up with a new baseball-sized bruise. Now either you and John are either into some really kinky shit or there's more to the story than running into a door." Alex didn't know what to say. He should have seen this coming, but he didn't. He thought that they would just ignore his strange actions. He had been niave.
"Wait, Alex, is there more?" John asked with a concerned look on his face. "You didn't say anything about hickeys…" He tried to not look hurt because he knew that if someone else was kissing him, he didn't want it to be that way.
"I'm sorry," Alex whispered. Suddenly, he felt so small.
"Hold the fuck up," Angelica interjected. "You idiots knew about this? And you didn't do anything?"
'It's more complicated than that," Hercules muttered.
"It's not complicated!" Peggy yelled. "Your friend is being abused and you did nothing!"
"Mon ami, you don't know the half of it," Laf said, trying to hold back his temper. Herc squeezed his hand with a nod of affirmation.
"Stop!" Alex finally spoke up. "You don't need to worry, everything's fine. Please just let it go."
"Alexander, please tell us what's going on," Eliza cooed, walking over to Alex and holding his hands. When his flannel was pushed up a bit, she saw the bruises on his wrists. She tried to get his hands to stop shaking, but they wouldn't. Alex quickly pulled away; even the smallest touch hurt. Angelica, looking from the side, was now even more sure of her accusation. Alex looked like he was about to throw up. In an attempt to help as well, John wrapped one of his arms around Alex's side. Suprisingly, Alex flinched out of fear and John had to back off. He almost never did that. Alex usually loved to be touched and hugged, but it was obvious that that had changed.
You could have heard a pin drop in that room. They were all waiting for Alex to say something, anything. With John and Eliza's eyes staring him down, Alex fell pray to their love. He wanted to tell them everything and let them protect him, even though he didn't deserve to be protected. He wouldn't let them do anything about it though. He wasn't going into foster care.
"James has been better lately," everyone was hanging on his every word. "I…I've done things that have made him happy. He doesn't hurt me when I... let him."
Eliza was the first to speak. She knew that, coming from her, the accusation wouldn't sound as harsh. "Alexander, did James rape you?"
Alex was silent, but his silence was enough of a response for them. There was a collective sigh among the teenagers and a moment where nobody knew what to say. Luckily, Alex spoke for them.
"John, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to; I didn't mean to hurt you. Please don't be angry with me, I couldn't live with myself if-" Alex cried.
"Alexander, I'm not mad, I'm scared!" John insisted. "Alex, this isn't like last time. We're getting you out of that house." Everyone nodded in agreement.
Alex squeezed his eyes shut and balled up his fists. "No… no I can't. You can't. Things are getting better, I just have to keep doing what he says."
"Mon petit lion, John is right. You are so very brave, little Alex, but you can't live like this forever," Lafayette reasoned.
"It's my fault, anyway. He's right to punish me."
"Alex don't you ever fucking say that! It's not your fault. Don't shit on yourself like that!" Angelica reprimanded.
"Angelica, be a little bit more sensetive!" Eliza scolded. "You have no idea what it's like to be in an abusive relationship. No fucking clue." Angelica became wide eyed at her sister's outburst.
"I'm sorry, Alex. I am. But we need to get you out of that house," Angelica said, quieter this time.
"She's right, Alexander," John cooed. He then took two of his fingers and lightly tapped Alex's chin up so that he would look at him. Alex's eyes were welling with tears. "Please."
"Okay," Alex whispered. They were getting him out.