Chapter Four

It's noisy, and irritating. Everyone in the 12th precinct imaginable is up and about, answering phones, discussing cases, booking loud criminals, filing papers, coming in and out of the break room, walking by her desk every ten seconds...and Kate? She's trying desperately to ignore it all and finish up her massive amount of paper work before vacation starts tomorrow. She's tired, and her body aches from leaning over her desk, and to top it all off, she's been too busy to decorate her tree. So it's still leaning against the wall, not even in the tree stand. Castle will be disappointed in her.

Another person whizzes by her desk, and a loud crash is heard, followed by the sound of several pieces of paper fluttering to the floor. Kate doesn't even glance up, just stops writing and puts both hands over her ears with a sigh. She tried, at one point, to put her earplugs in and listen to a little music to drawn them out, but she got a glare from Gates before poking her head back into her office. Kate just glowered back at the door closing and yanked them from her ears.

How easy it is to settle back into her routine of bitterness during the holidays when Castle isn't around. He's currently in a meeting with his publishers today before Christmas. Which leaves Kate to get her own coffee and to sit here alone while Ryan and Esposito finish up their own case and file reports. She slouches over her desk, eyes narrowed at the page in front of her, hand unconsciously writing out reports and signing the bottom of each page. Kate's stomach growls somewhere in between recalling a particular detail, dotting I's and crossing T's.

It's then her phone rings. She gathers it up quickly. "Beckett." She snaps.

"What did I do?" Castle's hurt voice filters through to her ears. She relaxes instantly. There is just something about that man that can melt the ice in her veins. Igniting a fire in her heart.

"Since you asked..." She starts, a smile in her voice.

"There it is!" He exclaims happily.

"What?" She blushes for some reason.

"That smile." He states adorably.

Kate smiles wider. "How was your meeting?" She then asks, putting her pen into her mouth.

He groans. "Boring...very boring. I much rather be there." He says honestly. And she catches that hint in his voice he only uses when being subtly affectionate. But she knows all his tells.

"Trust me. You don't. It's crazy here and all I have is a mountain of paper work...that you still find a way to get out of." She teases.

"All right! You caught me! I went to this ho-hum of meeting to get out of paperwork." He plays along.

Kate smirks at his choice of words. "How ever will you make it up to me?" She asks, pen down on the desk and now her finger is playing with her hair absently.

"Hmm, I'll think on it." She can picture him in though, eyes wrinkled in the corners of his eyes.

"You do that. No go be an adult and get back to your meetings." She scolds.

"I will if you promise me one thing." He says, voice lowering.

"Hmm?" Her hair is now pressed between her lips.

"Go eat." He says knowingly.

Kate's stomach growls as if on cue. She releases her hair and checks her watch. Nearly 2pm. "Promise. In fact I am heading to see Lanie right now." And she is. She's gotten out of her chair and is swinging her coat over her shoulder.

"Good girl." And then he hangs up.

Kate tiredly pushes the key into the lock, twisting with a yawn, and the pushing the door open. It bangs softly on the far wall, and then slowing inches it's way back. Kate catches the side of it, closing it behind her and then locking it back up. All the while looking down at the floor, too exhausted to raise her head, or pay any attention at all. When she looks up, her heart skips a beat and a loud gasp escapes her mouth. Dropping her bag onto the floor with a thud, she moves farther into her apartment, completely in awe.

There, by her window between the kitchen and her living room, is her Christmas tree, adorned in bright multicolored lights. It's letting off a beautiful glow that cast itself about the room, which is dark. She almost doesn't want to turn any lights on. So she just stands there staring at it, this unmistakable feeling of love, and warmth, and happiness bubbling up inside her, spilling forth through shining eyes misted over, and a heartbreaking smile.

She walks towards it, reaching out with a shaky hand, as if she's about to put her hand through a mirage. Her fingers connect with prickly branches, moving up to press a green light between her fingers, feeling the tiny heat radiating off of it. She has never had a Christmas tree in her apartment..The last one she owned was in her old house before her mother died. Seeing one now? Brings tears to her eyes, and a chest full of nostalgia with a longing for the man who obviously did this. But somehow she knows he didn't do this just to "make it up to her." She knows that this act, was one of pure love.

"Castle." The man fluttering through her heart, and prickling every last nerve ending with pleasant sensations, answers his phone very softly.

"I...Rick..." She trails off.

"Your welcome Kate." He says with a hum. She wishes she was there, to feel the vibrations in his chest.

Kate sighs into the phone. One hand at the side of her head, weaved in her hair. "Good night, Rick." She soothes before hanging up.

Kate stands there in front of her tree just a little longer clutching the phone to her chest. The ambient glow casting her shadow across the dark floor, an odd, warm contrast to the usual empty dark feeling she gets when she is alone here every Christmas without a tree. And then there is a knock at her door. She jumps. Having been standing in silence for longer than she thought. She removes her hand from her hair, bringing them to her lips instead, and then unlocks the door to let Lanie in.

"Hey girl!" The ME says through a huff, walking farther into the apartment and setting down a handful of bags by the couch. "Nice tree." She observes. Standing with her hands on either hip.

"Yea. Castle and I picked it out...he decorated it while I was at work today." She says, becoming mesmerized by the lights again; conjuring up the image of his beautiful blues as the reflected his own Christmas lights. Her heart strings pluck, striking a lovely chord that oscillates the length of her body.

"You let that man into your apartment when your not home?" Lanie says, tilting her head to one side and cocking her eyebrows. "Did you check your underwear drawer for missing panties?" She then asks.

Kate laughs. "No I did not check. And I didn't let him in. He must have found my key...I thought I hid it pretty well..." She trails off looking towards the door and biting her lip. Then she shrugs shutting it.

"Ready when you are." Lanie gestures towards all her bags filled with gifts to be wrapped. There are at least five of them and a half dozen rolls of wrapping paper.

"Uh yea..." Kate answers. She moves into the kitchen. Where she spots a set of white lights over the sink. She smiles shaking her head setting her phone down before and flicking on some lights so it's not so dark. She glances at the lights, and then the ones glowing from her living room before the tired woman heads to her room to get the presents she bought... Minus Lanie's which she already wrapped. She gathers her things, and then pauses by her dresser, juggling her stuff, she slowly slides her underwear drawer open and does a quick search, laughing at her own absurdity as she shuts it and goes back into the living room.

"So?" Lanie asks, she's sitting cross legged on the floor, back to the couch.

"What?" Kate asks, sitting down in front of her a good distance away so they both have room too wrap. "Oh.." She laughs, "all clear."

Lanie just smirks. Both woman go about setting up in a comfortable silence..only it's thick with things unsaid...questions unasked..Kate so badly wants to ask what the status is with her friend and Javier...but she's afraid of Lanie's temper, and stubborn persistence to drop the subject .

"Are we going to order in?" Lanie asks after a while. She looks up, scissors halfway through a roll of snow flake wrapping paper.

"Yea, sure. Hungry?"

"You bet I am!"

"Well you didn't have lunch." Kate points out, remembering back to that afternoon when she asked her friend if she wanted to go to lunch. But at the time Lanie looked very distracted and declined...she looked like she had a lot on her mind.

"Wasn't hungry then." Lanie says, her voice dropping slightly and Kate catches an odd look cross her face.

The detective gets off from the floor, glancing over her shoulder as she gets her phone from the kitchen counter. "Chinese?"

"Sure." She says absently, taping one of her gifts, the tape making that annoying sound before ripping off.

The detective yawns into the back of her hand, phone to her ear. She stares at Lanie who's being a little to attentive to her gift wrapping. She hangs up and sits back down. "Everything alright, Lanie?"

Nothing comes out just yet. So they both wrap their presents. Only the sound of paper wrinkling, and scissors cutting are heard. Kate stops after she's wrapped three presents, and looks over at her tree. She scoots closer, breathing in the smell of pine, and maybe a whiff of Castle, she hopes.

"He's a really sweet guy..Castle." Lanie doesn't look at her, just stares at the tree. She dodges the question and goes straight for Kate and Castle.

"Yes..he is." Kate agrees. Smiling at the lights..."Your dodging me." She then says, eying her without turning her head, her voice scolding.

"So."

"So you yell at me when I do it." Kate points at her with the tape still in her hand.

Lanie glares at her for a beat, and then sighs, face softening. "It's Javi."

Kate nods pulling a present out of her pile and starting to wrap it. She's giving Lanie the space and time to tell her on her own. No more pushing.

"I don't know what he wants from me...ever since that double date with Ryan and Jenny..." Her face becomes hard again for a moment.

"Well which one of you wants to get married?"

"I do..eventually..doesn't have to be now..but he's been acting weird about the whole thing. And then I told him he was either all in or out..." Lanie looks at Kate.

Kate nods stopping for a moment. "He's probably just scared." Kate says. She realizes how dumb that might sound. A guy like Esposito scared.

Lanie looks down at the now wrapped box in her hand, rotating it counter clockwise. "I want us to be together." Lanie confesses.

Kate is a little taken aback at this softer, more open Lanie. Something she hasn't seen in a while. She blames herself, for stepping so far back, and not paying close enough attention. "Then tell him. Go for it." She coaxes.

The ME looks up, wrinkling her brow. "You go for it." She then retorts. "It's not that easy."

Tell me about it." Kate says under her breath as a knock is heard at the door. She rushes to her feet and answers the door before Lanie catches her mumbling. She pays and returns, setting it down on the coffee table and then going to the kitchen for a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"You know I heard that." Lanie says smugly.

"It's not that easy." Kate mimics handing Lanie a plastic fork.

Lanie tilts her head to one side, giving her a look that says she gets it, but is still intrigued by such an omission. Instead of asking about it, she digs into her food for the time being. Perhaps waiting for Kate.

"I'm just sayin." Lanie finally speaks up through a forkful of rice. "I mean.." She swallows, pointing at Kate with her fork. "You took vacation off for him, you got a tree." She points at the tree now, and back at Kate. "Your celebrating Christmas. And you helped Castle decorate his tree. All without a fuss."

"How did you...Ryan!" Kate exclaims, growling the young detective's name and lowering her wine glass which she almost spit out.

With a smirk and a shrug, Lanie sips her wine. "What does this mean Kate?"

Kate briefly eyes the tree. "Nothing." She lies. Not being able to meet her friend's ever suspicious brown eyes.

"Yet." Lanie finishes for her all self-satisfied.

A long heavy, defeated sigh escapes Kate's mouth over the rim of her glass, the lights next to her reflecting in the deep red depths of the liquid. Liquid courage because she's not at all ready for what she's about to say to Lanie. But hopes that it will have an effect on her, and hopefully make her think about her own relationship with one Detective Javier Espostio.

"Okay..so I have been thinking about, him..recently." Kate says almost flatly, trying to brush it off as nothing even though it's a whole lot of something, and more. Could be anyway.

Lanie nearly drops her glass onto Kate's nice carpet. "Recently?" Lanie replies, not believing a word. But after receiving a look from Kate she lets herself be excited about it. "Now that is what I have been waiting to hear! For a long time girl!"

"Calm down. Nothing has even happened..I'm just thinking about it." Kate looks down into her takeout, pushing it around with her fork while a blush creeks into her cheeks.

"Well that's better than nothing Honey..and now is a great time! We have that dinner at his place, and whatever else planned afterward! Not to mention his Christmas Party." Lanie rambles on excitedly and Kate can't help but shake her head at her friends antics and smile a little.

"I agree...but on one condition will I even Attempt to step over this line." Kate gets serious. This is a big step, to be taking for herself..but she also is looking out for her two friends who are obviously in love with each other, but are to afraid to take the leap..much like her and Castle.

"What?" Lanie asks skeptically, she crosses her arms.

"You try with Javi while we are together this week."

Lanie stays silent; obviously weighing this all in her mind. But after a while, she raises her glass to Kate. "Deal." They clink glasses and sip with content smiles on their faces.

Thoughts?

Btw. Loving the response to last chapter. Many reviews and over 80 alerts/favorites. I'm pretty excited! Keep it up! I need the motivation!