Title:Love in the Time of Cavemen
Author:PenisControl
Beta:Neighpony
Rating:M
Pairings:Top!Caveman!Harry/Bottom!Caveman!Draco. Side of Ron/Hermione, mentions of Lucius/Narcissa and Pansy/Blaise.
Warning:This is not historically, politically or literarily correct. This is SLASH also. Look out for excessive use of the word 'manstick'.
Disclaimer:I don't own any of the characters. Unless I spell their names differently. -shifty eyes-
Summary:Chronicling the gay adventures of the first two Cavemen to ever think of putting their manstick in anything other than a Cavewoman. Harry/Draco AU.

Warnings for this chapter: Heart to heart with Naggigga and realisations of where a Caveman's manstick goes when he's with another Caveman.

A/N:Here's a bit of a 'filler' chapter (as far as this fic is concerned anyhoos), next chapter will have more Caveman smexy time...because I'm perverted. Enjoy today's installment.

Chapter 3: Putting his manstick in a wastehole.

Drago could not understand why Haggy had laughed at him earlier. Maybe Haggy didn't think Drago performed very well as a Caveman? Maybe Haggy had wanted Drago to put his manstick in him but Drago had just spurted his manseed onto Haggy's hand when Haggy had tried to guide it to where it was supposed to go? But where was it supposed to go anyway? Cavewomen had a hole to put the Caveman's manstick in them, but Cavemen only had a hole for getting rid of waste. Maybe his manstick was supposed to go there? Drago did not like the idea of putting his manstick in Haggy's wastehole. So if Haggy didn't like him for it then that was too bad.

Naggigga noticed the look on Drago's face and tittered at him.

"Guh, Mug, ugha," Drago told her listlessly.

Naggigga crawled over to him and stroked his hair. Whenever Drago was upset as a small Caveperson, Naggigga would stroke his hair and tell him that she loved him no matter what. It was often during these times that Drago would tell her what was bothering him and she would attempt to help by giving him advice.

"Haggy," Drago sighed.

"Voo! Ack!" She cried in indignation.

Since she'd been out of the loop, Naggigga had no idea that Drago's feelings had changed towards Haggy during the day. Drago wanted to explain, but knew it would be difficult. Especially with their limited vocabulary.

"Haggy…buv, Mug," He explained.

Naggigga huffed and tugged at his hair gently. "Drago, vog Haggy?" She asked.

Drago thought about this for a few moments. He didn't think he LOVED Haggy, but Haggy was very attractive to him. Not only was he strong and had pretty eyes, but he could hunt and cook (something that was severely lacking in their cavehold) and no doubt he'd be able to produce many offspring. He was definitely the perfect catch, but what about the small problem of Drago being a Caveman and not a Cavewoman?

He expressed this concern to his Cavemother by pointing at her where her hole was (even though he couldn't see it through her luxuriant cheetah skin - thank goodness) and then pointed at his manstick before throwing his arms up in the air and waving them about while wriggling the rest of his body.

"Ah," Naggigga smiled. "Lugus hub fon," She explained, and pointed at her covered wastehole.

EW! Drago did NOT want to know his Cavefather had put his manstick in his Cavemother's wastehole! That was too much! BUT, if Lugus DID put his manstick there and Naggigga had given birth to him, then that would mean a Caveman might also be able to have little Cavepeople by having another Caveman put their manstick in his wastehole. No one had ever tried it before to Drago's knowledge, but it made sense. Drago smiled happily. He patted his stomach and grinned.

Naggigga frowned. "Booga," She said. Drago looked confused. "Lugus hub fon, Drago cogda fum."

WHAT?! So even though Lugus had put his manstick in Naggigga's wastehole, Drago had been born from Naggigga's Cavewoman hole? So Drago was back to the start. Though it was POSSIBLE for a Caveman to attempt to reproduce by putting his manstick in a wastehole, nothing would come of it. It seemed as if Duggdore was right all along. The manseed of a Caveman must need to be planted up a Cavewoman's hole for it to grow into a little Caveperson in the Cavewoman's stomach.

Drago knew that he really didn't want little Cavepeople anyway. He would let Haggy put his manstick in his wastehole if he wanted to, but Haggy would probably want little Cavepeople and Drago would definitely not be able to have them. Ah well. It's not as if it mattered anyway. Since Haggy wanted Drago to put his manstick in Haggy's wastehole and not the other way around. Which Drago didn't feel comfortable doing at all.

---

Haggy woke up as the sun shone threw the cave door. He noticed his manstick was very hard. Images of Drago came to mind and his manstick grew even harder, if that was possible. Haggy groaned in frustration. He knew he'd decided to give up on Drago, but his manstick was very persistent indeed.

Just then, Gon walked over to him holding his club and spear. "Guh," he groaned and threw them at Haggy. Haggy blushed and covered his manstick back up with his loincloth.

They were to go out hunting today on the beach. Heggony had been annoying them for a while that she would like very much to have some fish for night food. So Gon obviously had decided that today was the day they would have it for night food, so Heggony would stop complaining that he didn't want the little Caveperson inside her to grow big and strong. Which he did. Of course.

Haggy and Gon trotted off to the beach with a palm frond to collect their fish on, and bid Heggony goodbye.

Tbc.

Cavespeak Glossary (for this chapter)

hub - mate

fon - wastehole

fum - Cavewoman hole

cogda - born

Mug - mother