Titled Bang Bang, or The Legend of How Bolin Found Out. A little early Korrasami wedding present.
Asami unlocked the back door to her home. Although she'd moved back into the Sato estate, she'd chosen to only inhabit the bottom floor. Keys were haphazardly thrown on the counter, along with her bag and jacket.
"Hold on, let me look for the wine glasses." She motioned for Bolin and Mako, two of her best friends, to follow her through the kitchen. They took seats atop some of the stools.
"Thanks for inviting us out to dinner; it was great to hang out with everyone again," Mako smiled gratefully.
"Not at all," Asami waved a nonchalant hand through the air. "Thank you for paying. Against my wishes." Mako shrugged his shoulders in response. It was a pointless gesture, seeing as how Asami wasn't currently looking at him, but peeking through all her cupboards, clearly looking for something and not finding it.
"Where the hell is my wine?!" she yelled frustratedly. Asami crouched over a low cabinet, the bottles of fermented grapes eluding her. Bolin enthusiastically jumped off his stool.
"I'll help!"
Within five minutes, they had come no closer to finding the wine, but Bolin had managed to dig up a twelve year old bottle of scotch, a large bottle of vodka, a half opened bottle of tequila and a handful of shot glasses. Asami stuck a hand on her hip.
"Well I guess this is where-"
"Yeah yeah, we mix it up sometimes," Bolin cut across. "I'm gonna pour us a round. Tequila!"
Thirty minutes later...
Bolin slammed his shot glass upside down on the table, irrefutable proof that he was macho and had finished his drink.
"Hurry up you slow asses!"
"Yo shut up Bo, you started drinking while I was still pouring Asami's shot," Mako said angrily.
"You shut up!"
"Both of you shut up!" Asami yelled. The two boys sheepishly turned to her, awkward silence descending. The outburst momentarily sobered them up.
"Uhh, so where's Korra?" Bolin asked awkwardly, an obvious attempt to diffuse the tension. "She didn't wanna come tonight?"
"She got called to some outskirts of the Earth Kingdom," Asami replied as the comfortable atmosphere returned. "I don't remember exactly where at the moment." She lost her balance for a bit, swaying a little on the spot.
Whoopsie. Maybe four shots back to back to back…..to back was a bad idea.
No fuck it. She was a champ, not some no handle Randall. Besides, Korra wasn't here, and she needed something to entertain her.
"Come on! Let's go the game room, I put huge fluffy floor cushions in there!"
Thirty more minutes later….
"Alright, alright, alright, alright!" Bolin screeched. "There is exactly one shot of vodka remaining." He held up the clear glass bottle. "Now who wants it?"
"Oh meeh meeh!" Asami bounced up in her seat, waving her hand like a third grader who knew the answer to the math problem.
Mako turned slowly in her direction, lids falling halfway down his eyes. He was on his way out.
"Fine whatever," he said dismissively. "We still have the scotch. And I'm not giving any to you selfish bunch of butt nuggets."
"Yes!" Asami reached for the bottle, but Bolin pulled it further away, out of her reach.
"What the fuck Bolin?" she pouted.
"Hey, I didn't say it was free." He held his index finger up to the sky. "You may have this as long as you answer this one question...truthfully." He smirked.
"Okay, fine, sure, whatevs. Hit me mothafuckah." The seven (or was it nine?) shots had turned Asami's elegant English into Street Slang 101. She was saying things she'd only ever practiced in a mirror.
"If you could bang anyone in the world, who would you bang?"
Asami giggled. She knew something they didn't know. She puffed her cheeks out, looking to Bolin, to Mako, then back to Bolin. Then she giggled again.
"C'mon Asami, who?" Bolin urged.
"Mmmm…..Wing! ...or Wei! Who's thing points to the left? I like left. Maybe both. Can I have both at the same time?" she laughed devilishly, mostly to herself as she collapsed face first into her cushion.
Bolin stared at her slack-jawed, his expression a mix of incredulity and amusement.
"Why you evil cradle-robber…"
"That's a lie!" Mako yelled, Asami's answer enough to stir the vampire from his coffin. He slammed his hand on his cushion, though the effect was somewhat lost considering how soft the pillow was.
Bolin turned to Mako, and Asami lifted her pretty little head from her planking position.
"You...want...to bang...KORRA!" he slurred, the girl's name tripping on his tongue.
Bolin's jaw dropped again. Asami just stared at him with wide eyes.
Oh fuck.
Mako told himself he wasn't gonna say anything. At least until they told him.
"My bad?" he mumbled, sitting back, his throat just out of Asami's reach.
"Oh yeah, Korra," Asami sighed, a dopey expression crossing her face. The alcohol was mucking up the normally well-oiled gears in the engineer's head. Thoughts were processing a little slower than normal.
"I thought Bolin meant someone new, like never, ever, ever banged. But yeaaah I like banging Korra."
Mako sighed. He was afraid Asami was going to kill him. Good thing the alcohol made her….less offended.
"WAIT."
Bolin's brain, usually the snail in the race, was taking even longer to get to the finish line.
"'Banging?' As in 'in the action of?' As in 'Asami is currently banging the Avatar?' Korra? Our Avatar?" He made V's with his hands and pushed the middles of them together.
"Yes bro," Mako sighed, hand pinching the bridge of his nose. Oh, sober Mako has decided to reappear.
"That's why you and Korra went to the Spirit World together?"
"Yes bro."
Asami was smiling at him, but it was that stupid grin Korra usually did, when you got caught doing something naughty. But not really naughty. Guess he knew where she learned that from. She turned to Mako.
"So you knew?"
He shrugged his shoulders again. He was a detective.
Seconds passed as Bolin processed the information. Asami just sat there, letting her buzz wend its way through her brain and body. Mako brooded, cause that's what Mako does, sober or not.
"What. The. Fuck." Bolin finally said. Which was kind of eloquent for him.
"Hmm," Asami sighed sweetly, returning from her buzz Neverland.
"How the fuck did we all end up liking Korra?"
Mako shrugged his shoulders (again), and Asami puffed her cheeks out (again).
"Just lucky?" she laughed.
"I'm the only one who hasn't kissed her!" he pouted, like a child that lost his lollipop. He crossed his arms.
"Oh well bro."
"Fuck you guys! I liked her first! You didn't even wanna be her friend, Mako!" Bolin shoved him on the shoulder.
"Naga's kissed her more than you," Asami pointed out. Even Mako had to laugh at that one. Asami's equilibrium was tilted far to the right and her body leaned . A good gust of air probably could've blown her over.
"Fuck you guys, don't talk to me," Bolin sulked, turning his back on them.
"Come on bro, nut up."
"Fuck you," Bolin said, still refusing to turn around.
"Aww, come on Bolin," Asami cooed, but he was not swayed. "Boliiiiinnn," she called.
"No."
Asami stuck her lower lip out and gave up, turning to Mako.
"Hey Mako," she said, tilting her head. "Did Korra always like rim jobs?"
"WHAT?" he spluttered, blush climbing through his cheeks. Even Bolin turned around after that one.
"Why would you ask that?!"
"What about that thing with her tongue?" she grinned.
Asami just cocked her head to the side. Flustered Mako was so much fun. The awkward turtle duck. Those stupidly-shaped eyebrows were knitted together. Was he upset? Embarassed? Turned on? Maybe all three?
She opened her mouth to press her advantage, but Mako cut her off.
"I loved her first!" he shouted, not really out of anger, but more out of a drunken stupor to be better than Asami at something.
"Well I loved her second, two's more than one," Asami sing-songed, waggling those perfectly shaped eyebrows.
"I sooo fucking hate you assholes," Bolin muttered, and since when did Bolin mutter?
"Oh yeah, Bolin loved her first," Mako slurred, suddenly cognizant of his brother's feelings, "so I guess I loved her second, and you third, Assami." He pontificated the 'ass' with emphasis.
"Whatevs, three is still more than two," sticking her tongue out at Mako.
"I loved her more!" he yelled, sharkbrows arching angrily.
"No way! I loved her more!" Bolin yelled; he had decided to rejoin the conversation.
"Shut up Bolin, I loved her more than you!" Mako was one shout away from steam coming out of his ears.
"No you didn't, I loved her more! I didn't cheat on her with Salami here!" He pointed a finger at Asami. Well to be truthful, it wasn't really cheating, and it was more or less in Asami's direction, since the room was kind of spinning at that point.
"The fuck does it matter Bo? You're going out with Opal anyway! You're mentally cheating on her right now!"
"It matters to me! I would've never messed it up. And…..I'm…" he trailed off, picking up the scraps of his thoughts and making a terrible collage.
"I'm not cheating on Opal if I'm just talking about banging Korra!"
"Shut up you dickwads! I-"
"Yo Asami, we're over here," Bolin called. She'd been talking to a wall. Asami whipped around and faced the two dimwit brothers, who had somehow multiplied into six dimwit brothers.
"Right," she continued yelling, as if there were no interruption. "I," special emphasis on the 'I,' "get to bang Korra and I definitely love her more than you lame ferret faces!" Bolin and Mako silently looked between each other, deciding they'd apparently lost this battle.
"Okay fine," sighed Mako, ever the diplomat, "you win." He opened the bottle of scotch and poured some in a glass for each of them. Bolin's shoulders slumped in defeat and he downed his drink before anyone else even picked up their glass. Asami poured him a new one.
"It's ok, Bolin," she rubbed a hand on his back.
"Nah, I'm alrigh'," he sighed. "It's just, you know, Korra," as if he had explained all the secrets in the entire universe. Mako's dumbass nodded along as well, although thanks to the alcohol and shouting all he really heard was buzzing coming out of Bolin's mouth. "You just never really get over Korra," Bolin admitted. That part Mako heard.
"Yeah, he's right," his fin brows sagged in defeat. "Just when you think she's outta your system, she's right back in."
"I agree, you can't get over Korra!" Wu had somehow appeared behind Mako.
"WHAT THE FUCK WU!" Mako yelled. "WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!"
"You called me after you got here and told me to pick you and Bolin up cause you couldn't drive," Wu said timidly. "But really, I was stalking you," he added under his breath, so soft no one could hear it.
"Oh yeah," Mako said, sobering up slightly, "but you can't just barge in." He stood up, taking three tries before he was successful. He wobbled a bit, tripping on his cushion as he forced Wu out of the house.
"Okay, he's gone for now," Mako announced as he returned to the room. Bolin and Asami were in the midst of yet another shot. They poured one for Mako as well.
"To Korra!" they cheered, downing the whiskey in one shot. It was a crime, Mako noted as the amber liquid burned his throat, to drink such upscale liquor with the finesse of cheap Republic City moonshine.
"Hey guys, why is Wu locked in his own car outside?"
All three heads lazily turned around to the voice. And there, by the spirit's intervention (or just plain coincidence), was Korra. She stood in the doorway, dressed in a traveling jacket and a rucksack slung over her shoulder. Confusion painted her face, and she cocked a thumb back towards the door.
"Korra!" called Bolin. He got up, making his way to the Avatar. He wore a look of determination, and Korra felt a little frightened at that moment. "I am not going to be the only one who hasn't kissed Korra," he told himself with intoxicated intent.
Bolin closed his eyes when he went in for the kiss and the world moved. Like really moved. It spun so hard he didn't know which way was up. He couldn't even feel his feet under him. Holy fuck, kissing Korra is amazing. He opened his eyes expecting to see Korra, but he found himself looking up at the ceiling.
Apparently Asami had gotten up faster and pushed him back down by the forehead before he'd even made contact. Mako leaned back, his arms crossed, head shaking.
Asami shot him a dirty look. What the fuck Bolin? God he is always such a cock block. Just like right after Korra came back from the Spirit World. We just established that I am bending this Avatar (over). How dare he try to put his herp derp all over her?
"Hey Korra," Asami purred in what she hoped was a seductive tone. She staggered into the Avatar's arms as Korra looked at her in surprise. Korra's eyes grew even wider when Asami leaned down and planted a kiss on her lips. Korra could taste the alcohol. She quickly pushed Asami back.
"Asameee, what are you doing?" she whispered urgently. Her eyes darted between Mako and Bolin. Asami only giggled and traced a finger along Korra's jaw.
"Shh, it's okay, they know." Korra's eyes widened more.
"They do?"
Bolin gave them a sulky look and Mako was trying hard to maintain an impassive face, except all he succeeded in doing was appearing as if he really needed to take a shit. Still, he gave a curt nod.
"Yep," Asami smiled.
Bolin sighed. "Yeah it's cool." He tried to look happy. "Even if I was first."
"Oh." Korra didn't expect the tale of Korrasami to go over like this with the Bending Brothers.
Mako got to his feet, pulling Bolin up as well. "We're gonna leave then." He teetered out, Bolin trudging behind him.
"Baaaaai Broody Boys," Asami jeered, waving the two off. Korra cocked an eyebrow at Asami.
"How much did you have to drink exactly?"
Asami hummed "I don't know" in a sing song manner and shrugged her shoulders. Korra sighed, shaking her head.
"Come on, let's get you to bed." Asami giggled again (she did that a lot tonight).
"I knew you wanted to get in my pants."
Korra didn't respond, pushing Asami onto the bed as she rummaged around in the drawers. She found clean sleep clothes, and, much to Asami's disappointment, undressed her without caressing her.
"Korra," she whined.
"Not tonight," Korra said. "Not cause I don't want to," she added quickly when she saw Asami's crestfallen face. "I always want to, and I missed you so much, but you are sloshed beyond repair right now. You need to sleep it off." Asami pouted again, but accepted Korra's decision.
Korra climbed into bed, holding her arm out for Asami to snuggle along side her. The older girl climbed on top of her, resting her head on Korra's shoulder. Korra rubbed warm circles on Asami's back, lulling her to sleep.
Asami sighed into Korra's neck, drunken tiredness descending over her. Her vision had been spinning earlier, but all she felt right now was the need to sleep. Everything was so warm. In the distance she heard Korra's question.
"So it looked like you guys had fun tonight. What'd you talk about?"
"We...were...talking about...banging someone…" Asami trailed off.
"What?" Korra asked in surprise. "You hit someone with your car?"
The only answer she got was soft, even breathing.
Awww, friggin Mako outed them. Probs a little OOC, but being drunk means everyone is OOC. Bolin seems mad, but he's not (he's just jealous). haha
Fun fact: I used 'bang' nine times. :)