Writer's note: Okay, it's been a very very long time since I updated this. With all the new Wander eps, I've felt like giving them a little attention!
The most time Sylvia had spent with Lord Hater was during their infamous date and failed wedding, and even then Wander had been close by entire time. This was literally the first time she'd be completely alone with the conqueror.
The two watchdogs dispensed her into Hater's quarters, leaving the unbreakable cuffs on her wrists. The whoosh of the door as they departed left a strange chill up Sylvia's tail.
"Hello again, Lin," Hater scoffed, his back turned to her, "How are you, Lin?"
Sylvia rolled her eyes. She didn't have time for games; she needed to get back to Wander. "Cut the act, Hater. You know my name isn't Lin. Just get to the point of whatever this is."
"Okay, Sylvia." Hater spun around, gloved hands in tightly wrapped fists at his side. "So, what is this thing you have with Wander?"
Sylvia quirked an eyebrow at the unexpected question. "What do you mean?"
Hater pounded a fist on his desk, the clutter atop it bouncing. "You know exactly what I mean!" His voice grew high and mocking. "The hugging and making out and being all ooey gooey stuff."
She'd assumed he'd be questioning her on things like Wander's weak spots, not their relationship status. "If we want to do all that stuff, that's our business. You're kinda being a creeper for asking, by the way." She shrugged. "Besides, you know how touchy feely Wander is."
"So, you're not actually," Hater quotation marked with his fingers, "together."
"Well, yeah, we are as Wander calls it 'special someones', but what does that have to do with anything?"
Hater gritted his teeth. "Because I need to know why you chose that hairy spoon over marrying the most powerful being in the universe!" He jabbed a thumb to his chest, leaning toward her a little too close for Sylvia's comfort. "Me!"
Sylvia held up her bound appendages. "Okay, this is getting weirder by the second." She took a safe step back, chuckling nervously. "Um, Lord Hater, I didn't know you felt that way about me."
Hater whirled around, throwing his arms in the air, frustrated. "I don't!" He leaned over his desk, shoulders hunched and his voice growing lower. "It's just that I'm the greatest catch a girl could ever have, and I need to know why my stunning good looks and incredible personality didn't win you over…or any girl for that matter."
Sylvia could barely make out the last few words, but she caught the gist of it. This wasn't about Hater having feelings for her; this was about him being turned down – apparently multiple times. Sylvia would have laughed if the guy didn't look so down in the dumps. It was the same reason she'd swallowed her gags to give him a kiss on their date.
All the poor guy wanted was for someone to like him. Sylvia groaned, feeling the urge to help the big lug. She didn't want to, but Wander's helpful nature had really rubbed off on her – willing or not.
She walked over to Hater, craning her neck around to peek at his distraught face. "How about in exchange for you releasing me and Wander, we'll help you find a date."
Hater perked up. "You'd help me?"
"What the hayride," Sylvia remarked, figuring it was worth a shot, "why not."