Troubled Stirrings

She crept through the camp, the half covered moon illuminating her goal for her. Sharp, wary eyes darted around as she lifted her butcher knife and slid into the shadows of the men's tents, a whisper of movement in the still night. Silently she cursed the Knight Commander for his unpredictable eating habits - she could have easily slipped a something into his drink. There was a sudden noise and she froze, but it was just the wind blowing through the branches. She relaxed and continued on her way, intent towards her goal.

His security was laughable. She slipped easily into his tent, taking light steps learned by nights pilfering from the kitchen when they had nothing to eat, slipping comfort to the victims of her lord's wrath. Her hand tightened around the knife she held. The Avenger would stop this; had stopped her lord of Marti's Hill. And the Knight Commander worked to stop the Avenger.

That would never do.

Nobody expected the cook with her wonderful way with spices to have fire in her veins and ice in her heart. She laughed lightly at their folly. They all underestimated their servants, never dreaming that one day, the people they oppressed might decide to turn against them. Finally the large body of Raoul of Goldenlake came into view, sprawled across his bed. He snored lightly and she smiled coldly, surveying the body like a piece of meat. The floor squeaked slightly as she ghosted toward his upper body, raising the butcher knife above her head, relishing the swishing sound the knife made as it swung down at the exposed neck -

And hit the bed.

She stared in shock and hastily pulled it out, but Goldenlake, who had rolled out of the way of her knife, was already up and alert, his sword out. It shot out and she barely had time to duck out of the way and throw her knife wildly at him. He caught it by the handle and dropped it, and then, with a few strides, grabbed her by the neck.

Raoul looked at the woman he was holding. She looked wild, with her barely tied up hair and fierce eyes, and Raoul wondered if this was what Daine had looked like, once.

"You aren't Kel." His voice was calm, but part of him was in shock. She had just tried to kill him. She had just tried to kill him.

She snarled at him, baring her teeth, her only response.

Raoul sighed. "I don't have time for this," he muttered under his breath. The only person he could think of that would want to kill him - other than, of course, the Scanrans and some of the more stringent Conservatives - was the Shadow. He snuck a glance at her. With her vengeful eyes, Shadow-gray dress, and clenched fists that revealed strong arms, she looked surprisingly like a potential Shadow. "Are you the Shadow?"

"I do her work," she bit out. "As all good citizens of Tortall should."

Raoul noted the use of the female pronoun, but didn't think too much of it. It was commonly believed that Kel was the Shadow. "Why did you try to kill me?" It wasn't a proper legal investigation, but she could always be questioned under truth drops later. He was tired.

She roared, and Raoul almost dropped her in his shock. "Tortall and the Avenger!"

It seemed that he would get nothing of import out of her. Raoul let go of her neck, but kept her pinned to the wall while he ripped off strips of her petticoat - a useful skill Eleni had taught him - and tied her up.

Then he went back to bed. Knight Commander or not, it was far too early in the morning for such things.

When morning did come, Raoul was alert enough to wonder at his actions last night (had he been drunk?) and to be properly curious about the woman, still tied up where he had left her. He promptly dressed and took her to be interrogated by Alanna.

"I have good news and bad news," Alanna announced once she was finished.

Raoul raised an eyebrow.

"She isn't working for the Avenger."

"And the good news?"

"That's it," Alanna said. "Good news and bad news, all rolled up in one and packaged for your pleasure."

Raoul rolled his eyes. Typical Alanna. "How is that good news in any way?"

"Well, you know that there isn't a leak in your camp," Alanna said. "She's working for herself and what she thinks is Tortall's best interests." She frowned. "I don't blame her - my deceased lord of Marti's Hill was one of those nobles that believed that commoners only pretended to be hungry and spoke no language but the whip."

"We were all relieved that the Av - the Shadow was probably not going to kill me, though," Raoul pointed out. "And now, while I still don't have to worry much about the Shadow, I have assassination attempts from any commoner that's ever been mistreated - and those that haven't as well - to worry about. How am I supposed to sleep?"

Alanna stared. "Raoul, is there something wrong? First you tie up a person that tries to kill you and go back to sleep, now you ask me that question?" At his blank look she rolled her eyes. "I'm a mage, remember? It's not difficult to put up a simple ward. And if you don't trust that, just return to Corus or something. It's autumn; you'll have to soon anyways."

Raoul felt instantly inadequate and three feet tall, an effect Alanna seemed to be able to call up with her Gift. "Right." He struggled to think of something intelligent to say. "Could you do that now?"

For a moment Alanna just stared, and then she sighed and shook her head. "Men." As she walked off, Raoul trailing after her, she asked, "So, any new developments in the case?"

"Well, we've compiled a list of all people with known wild magic - Daine's been a great help for that."

Alanna smirked. "I don't suppose you happened to tell her that she was in the top ten on your little list of suspects?"

"She is not," Raoul contradicted. "She's not off the list, though. We're pretty certain that the Shadow uses animals, but that doesn't say much. Kel had her sparrows at her beck and call and didn't have an ounce of the Gift."

"Back to Kel, then?" Alanna commented, her feet crunching over leaves piled over the floor. "Has Flyn said 'I told you so' yet?"

Raoul groaned. "Don't talk about Flyn to me."

"That bad?" Alanna asked, laughing, and Raoul glared at her.

"Some friends I have."

Alanna just laughed harder, and Raoul resigned himself to it until finally they reached his tent and her laughing stopped as she concentrated.

Raoul watched, fascinated, as purple fire collected in her hands. She knelt down to draw a circle around his tent and snapped her fingers. A wall of purple fire shot up into the air from the circle and sealed itself over the tent. Alanna held it there and then nodded. The fire sank down again and the circle shone brightly for a moment before disappearing.

"This should stop anyone else who tries the same thing," Alanna said.

"Thank you," Raoul said gratefully.

Alanna smiled. "No problem. I'd rather you not die, you know - who would spar with me?"

Raoul laughed and then sighed. "The people who are focusing on the Shadow are idiots," he confessed. "At this point, the Shadow isn't the most worrying thing - it's another uprising." He looked around and lowered his voice. "People are angry, Alanna. Today someone tries to kill me, tomorrow it's Jon. And what happens when the Shadow's caught?"

Alanna sighed and shook her head. "It's a bad situation, all ways. The Goddess has been silent on the matter, except for a very cryptic hint that her first loyalty would always be her countries."

The words hit Raoul like a lance to the gut, knocking the breath out of him as he realized the possible implications. "Mithros…" he breathed.

"You mean the Goddess," Alanna disagreed wryly, but her eyes were serious. "Figured it?" Her next words were unexpected. "Do you want to step into the tent?" At Raoul's questioning look, she explained, "We really shouldn't be discussing this in the open."

Raoul nodded and followed her into his tent, where he sat down. Alanna, however, secured the tent, making Raoul feel like he was being taken prisoner. A flash of fear tingled through him. "What are you doing, Alanna?"

Instead of answering, Alanna surveyed him, her hand on her ember-stone. Raoul was ready to request that she leave when she nodded, grimly satisfied. "I didn't just protect you from attackers," she said bluntly. "You can't be overheard in here if you don't want to be."

He didn't quite understand, until he realized. "Or you don't want to be," he said flatly. As usual, his mind compared her with the Shadow.

"Correct." There was subtle danger in her voice, and for the first time, Raoul feared what Alanna could do to him, enclosed as he was within her magic, that he had given her permission to perform. She noted the fear, because she sighed and looked less menacing.

"As much as I love Jon, do you honestly follow him as a king or as a friend? He's changed things, of course, but what happens after? There'll just be another king, and another, and another, and eventually someone will get greedy and everything he's set up will disappear at a whim." There was an odd ring to her voice as she said, "Maybe someone else can create something more lasting."

"Treason." Raoul's voice was completely flat, his mind feeling sore and shredded. "You're talking about -"

"I don't know what Jon's thinking anymore. I was with the Bazhir for a while - apart from wanting to get away from it all, my squire needed the education." Her eyes were ablaze as she said, "Did you know that Jon forced them into a fief system? He's their Voice! How can he not see what he's doing to their society? This isn't what Liam died for!"

Raoul gaped at her passion, not knowing what to say.

She closed her eyes. "It took Daine a while to truly understand, because she only saw the fact that nobles would actually talk to commoners, but with her connection to animals she understood even better than I did, afterwards. A lot of people in so-called civilized societies see egalitarian societies as barbaric, but Daine understood."

"Tortall has one of the fastest rising middle classes," Raoul reminded her.

Her eyes flew open and her voice rose as emotion took her. "It's not enough! In the Bloody Hawk, all men, and in some cases even women, had a say in the day to day running. Being with them…it's like taking a breath of fresh air, for all that women couldn't be shamans. And in some tribes, all shamans are women, did you know?" Her jaw muscles tightened. "And then I come here -" she spat out the word like a curse "- and it's back to smiling at fiefs and privilege and when someone tries to do something about it, she's hunted down and condemned."

For a moment, Raoul just stared at her, and then he shook his head. "I don't know you anymore. What would Coram say? Maude?"

"Coram thinks I'm a fool, of course," Alanna said. "But he'll come around, Rispah's working on him. Maude runs her own healing base for rioters at Pirate's Swoop."

Sitting in that tent with his friend of Mithros-knew-how-many years, it was hard not to see the logic in her words, especially with the knowledge that Maude supported her. Or even more damming, the Goddess's hint.

Raoul ran a hand through his hair as he said, "I won't tell. If you wanted, you could probably do something to force me not to. But please, we're in a war with Scanra, killing machines that we can barely stop are appearing, and if everyone could wait until the war was over to rebel, that would be great."

Alanna chuckled. "I doubt anything big will happen during the war, especially when it heats up. Hasn't the Avenger shown willingness to aid the war effort?"

"What she needs to do is take out whoever's making those killing devices," Raoul grumbled, having hoped for more than just a couple of small birds and a not-so-small dog. "Or better, get Maggur. Then she'd really help avenge the small people."

"Avenger of the Small," Alanna mused. "Catchy. Well, you probably need to get out - people are probably wondering where you are."

On that less serious note, Raoul ducked out of the tent.

Hours later in a nearby secluded wood, when night had mostly blanketed the region, a small boy received news from a taller figure, identity concealed by a cloak and veil. He listened until the quiet voice stopped and then thanked the figure, who nodded and left, feet noiseless against the dirt floor. For another moment he just stood there, and then he turned and walked into the wood. Despite the confusing tangle of trees, his steps never faltered until he reached a clearing.

To be honest, it wasn't much of a clearing, barely large enough to fit a tent and a horse that lifted its head as the boy walked, but a mage would have seen an unusual collage of colors lining the floor, protecting the group inside. The boy smiled at the horse, giving it a pat, and then walked inside the tent where a woman sat, polishing the blade of a shining glaive.

"News from th' camp, lady," the boy said to the woman.

A smile cracked the woman's hard face as she looked at the boy she had semi-adopted. While she had a slowly expanding network, he was her only constant human companion and the only one who could bring that particular smile on her face.

She'd found him after she'd fled a little closer to the Scanran border than she'd originally intended - not that she'd had any intentions other than to get away from everyone. (It was only later that she realized she'd unconsciously took the path to Scanra that she would have gone on had she remained.) Sometimes she wondered if she would have gone insane with grief if she hadn't found purpose. Lalasa was dead, but there were plenty of others in similar situations.

Of course, the fact that she'd lingered there long enough to be found by Neal and his scrying knight-mistress (she hadn't asked what they had been doing in Scanra, to come down from that direction) had helped. Alanna had been more receptive than she'd ever dreamed, and her daughter had made a wonderful source of information, once she put her talents to good use.

Now Kel set down her glaive. "Yes, Tobe?" She ignored the title, as always. Tobe had insisted on calling her 'lady' since the day she'd found him, and she doubted she would ever change.

"Someone tried t' kill Lord Raoul this morn," Tobe reported. "Lady Alanna put a little protection around him - put more than he asked her to, actually."

Kel nodded. "Sensible."

"Told him a little more than he asked her to, too," he added, and Kel nodded. She would have disapproved if it had been anyone else. As it was, even caught up in her grief and anger, she'd liked Raoul. "He didn't say much other than asking you to kindly aid the war effort first and stave off rebellion until after. Especially if you can go after warlord Maggur."

Kel's eyes crinkled - she hadn't genuinely laughed since forever. "I can manage that, I suppose. If that is all?"

"Jus' one more," Tobe said, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes. "Lady Alanna wanted to ask your opinion on being called 'Avenger of the Small'."

"No." Kel's voice was completely flat.

"But lady -!"

"No!"