"Dear ... Lars ... that was ... not me ... texting you ..." said Steven slowly he "texted" on his communication device next to Peridot.
Peridot walked along the beach with Steven and Connie next to her. They all followed Amethyst, who was a few feet ahead of them. Peridot honestly wanted to walk closer to Amethyst, but was too hesitant to do it. Not that she was afraid of approaching Amethyst, it was just ... well, how would she know what to talk about if she did?
Peridot wanted to ask Connie for advice, but Connie's attention was fixated on Steven's communication screen as he typed.
"Amethyst ... got my phone again ..." continued Steven. "Please ignore request ... to send pictures of butts ... sorry, buddy ... have a ... nice day ... love, Steven aaaaaaaaaaaand smile emoji." He glanced over to Connie. "How'd that sound?"
"I think that's good, Steven," Connie said, giggling. She covered her mouth. "Sorry, it's just pretty cute hearing you say 'emoji.'"
Steven pressed a button on his communicator.
"What's an emoji?" Peridot asked.
"Oh, they're like these funny pictures you can send to people when you text them!" Steven said. "See, there's a bunch of ones with smiley faces ... annnnnd hearts ... and there's one with a cute little doggie's head and-"
"And exactly what practical purpose do they serve for communication?"
Steven thought hard for a moment, then shrugged. Peridot was perplexed. She wondered if "things existing with no clear purpose" was the predominant theme of Earth culture because that's the impression she had so far.
"There's a birthday cake one too," Steven said.
"Wonderful," Peridot said.
Steven's communicator vibrated and chimed.
"Oh hey, Lars wrote back," Steven said, his eyes glued to the screen. "He saiiiiid ... 'How'd you get my number in the first place? You stalking me or something?! At least when you're bugging me at work I'm getting PAID for it' and then there's like ten exclamation points." Steven laughed heartily and slid the device into his pocket. "Oooh, boy ... classic Lars."
Connie smiled, then turned towards Peridot.
"You uh ... you feeling okay now, Peridot?" she asked quietly.
"I no longer feel ill, if that's what you mean," Peridot whispered.
Connie nodded her head towards Amethyst.
"You should try to talk to Amethyst," Connie said. "I'm sure she'd want you to."
Peridot grimaced.
"I'm not so sure ..." said Peridot.
"Aw, come on," said Steven cheerfully. "What do you have to be afraid of?"
Peridot thought for a moment.
"Rejection. Humiliation. Abandonment. Being harvested. The inevitability of my own death." Despite herself, Peridot glanced at the vast body of water surrounding the beach. "... the ocean."
"Wait, the ocean?" said Connie.
I know who's under it, thought Peridot. She said nothing, not wanting to even think about that now. Steven's eyes went wide, almost certainly realizing why she said that, but did not press further.
"Well ... okay, those are all pretty reasonable things to be afraid of," Steven said. "But do you think Amethyst would do anything mean enough to make you feel any of those things?"
"I ... suppose not," Peridot said.
"So you have nothing to be afraid of!" Steven said. Connie nodded in agreement.
"... there is a surprising amount of logic in that statement." Peridot looked ahead at Amethyst. She sighed. "I'm blaming you in advance for every bad thing that's about to happen."
"Okay!" Steven said, smiling and giving a thumbs up.
Peridot walked slightly faster to catch up to Amethyst. As she moved ahead, she heard Connie whisper, "Good luck, Peridot."
That made her smile. It almost made her forget starting a conversation was the most frightening thing in the universe. Almost.
She trotted next to Amethyst. Amethyst glanced over and grinned. Peridot blushed.
"H-hey," said Peridot, raising her hand and waggling her fingers.
Eloquent opening, you clod, thought Peridot.
But Amethyst just chuckled and waggled her fingers back.
"Hey," said Amethyst. "I was wondering if you were going to come talk to me."
"Oh, y-you were?" Peridot said.
"Hehe, yeah," Amethyst said. She nodded her head backwards. "You know ... to give those two some alone time?"
"Eh?" Peridot looked back. Connie and Steven had drifted further behind Amethyst and Peridot. Steven showed Connie something on his communicator that made her laugh.
Amethyst grinned at Peridot. Peridot simply narrowed her eyes, puzzled.
"Is there some ... purpose to giving them time alone?" Peridot asked.
Amethyst giggled.
"Come on, Peri, I'm sure you get it," she said, nudging Peridot with her elbow. "You don't want to be a third wheel, right?"
"What do round movement appendages have to do with anything?"
Amethyst laughed even harder.
"Oh man," Amethyst said, catching her breath. "That's what I like best about you, Peri." Amethyst lightly smacked Peridot on the back. "You don't even have to try to be hilarious."
Amethyst's hand lingered on Peridot's back as they walked. It felt warm. The sensation made Peridot's entire physical form tingle once again.
"Yes. Well ..." Peridot said. "It's um ... it's quite enjoyable to hear you say that."
Amethyst gave Peridot a warm smile that made it hard for Peridot to maintain eye contact without her face flushing even more.
Well, this is going adequately, thought Peridot. As long as she doesn't bring up art, I think I'll be-
"So you excited to see Vidalia's earth art, Peri?" said Amethyst.
WHY DOES THIS PLANET HATE ME SO MUCH?! thought Peridot as beads of sweat ran down her forehead.
"Oh, um," Peridot stammered. "I'm ... sure it will be quite ... interesting."
"Oh yeah, Vidalia is pretty great," said Amethyst. "Even the stuff that's not pictures of me. She even did that really cool portrait of Rose at the temple."
Peridot didn't notice there even was a portrait at the temple (or who Rose was aside from Steven mentioning she was his "mom," whatever that meant), but she nodded as if she understood.
"But yeah she does landscapes and nature-y stuff too." Amethyst gave a sly grin. "Is that the kind of art you like?"
"Oh. Um. Well ..." Peridot laughed nervously. "I-I shouldn't go into that just yet. After all, I don't want to get exhausted of artistic analysis before even meeting this friend of yours ..."
"Oh, well that's cool," Amethyst said, stopping in her tracks and pointing forward. "'Cause we just got here."
Peridot stopped and noticed Amethyst was right. They were now in front of a green human dwelling, not unlike the beach house (aside from the fact this dwelling was not attached to an ancient Gem temple, so it was less interesting by default). They stood in front of a large open "garage," or whatever the right Earth word was, with large red tarps covering the entrance.
"See? Wasn't that long of a walk," Amethyst said. "And now we can get Vidalia and talk about art as much as you want." Amethyst chuckled. "Excited?"
"I'm ... positively ecstatic," Peridot said, forcing a smile. Amethyst grinned back.
Relax Peridot, this is not too problematic, she thought. Simply follow the advice Connie gave you and you should be able to improvise your way through this.
Connie and Steven walked up next to Amethyst and Peridot.
"So this is Vidalia's house," Connie said. "It looks really nice."
Steven took a step forward.
"I guess I'll go knock on the door and-" But before Steven could finish, Amethyst put her hands to the side of her mouth and shouted so suddenly that Peridot, Connie, and Steven all flinched.
"HEY, OLD BAG!" Amethyst shouted. "GET OUT HERE!"
From inside the garage, a voice rang out, equally as loud as Amethyst.
"OLD BAG?!" said the voice Peridot assumed was Vidalia. "YOU'RE THE ONE OVER A THOUSAND YEARS OLD, STUPID!"
"YEAH, BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LOOKS OVER A THOUSAND YEARS OLD!" Amethyst yelled back.
Peridot heard laughter from inside the garage, before the voice said, "JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE TO CHANGE MY SHIRT, OKAY?!"
"FORGET CHANGING! JUST GO NATURAL, V!" Amethyst shouted.
"YOU KNOW I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE, JERK!"
Connie leaned over to Steven.
"A-are they always like this?" she asked.
"Yyyyep," Steven said.
As soon as Steven said that, another voice, this one coming from down the street, screamed out.
"HEY, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE YELLING?!" said the male, slightly crackly voice.
Peridot followed the source of the noise. Another human dwelling across the street had a tall, skinny human standing outside of it. He must have been some form of soldier because he clearly had battle damage; there were large holes in the bottom of his ears.
Steven beamed when he saw the human.
"Is that Lars?" Steven said. He grinned and waved. "HIIIIIII LARS!"
"STEVEN?!" shouted back Lars. He smacked his palm over his face. "OH GREAT, YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE NOW TOO?!"
"ACTUALLY I KNEW THAT ALREADY!"
"AWESOME, THAT'S TOTALLY NOT CREEPY AT ALL!"
"HOW IS YOUR DAY?!" Steven shouted.
"FINE BEFORE ALL THE SCREAMING WOKE ME UP," Lars shouted back. "IT IS 3:30 IN THE AFTERNOON AND DECENT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO LAY OUT OF WORK!"
Peridot cleared her throat, then raised her voice as high as possible.
"STEVEN?!" she shouted.
Steven and Connie both covered their ears.
"YES, PERIDOT?!" Steven shouted.
"WHO IS THAT?!"
"HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE!" Steven said.
"NO I'M NOT!" Lars said. "AND WHY IS THAT WEIRD GREEN THING YELLING NOW TOO?!"
"EVERYONE ELSE WAS!" said Peridot. "I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO!"
"ACTUALLY IT'S KIND OF RUDE TO YELL A LOT," said Steven.
"THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL YELLING?!"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
Peridot did not turn around to check, but she thought she could hear muffled laughter from Amethyst.
"STEVEN," Lars said, "YOU'RE A-"
"Lars ..." said Vidalia from behind Peridot.
Peridot twisted around to see Vidalia. Her appearance was quite different than what Peridot expected. For one thing, her face had a wrinkle or two in it for some reason; Peridot wondered if her physical form had malfunctioned in some way to cause this. Her garments were standard: a teal jacket, a white shirt, and blue "genes." Her hair, however, caught Peridot's attention; it was put up in a large round shape. It was not as stylish as Peridot's hair, of course, but it was far and away the first human hairstyle she'd seen that wasn't completely ridiculous.
Vidalia stared at Lars from across the street, a half-smile on her face. Even though she did not yell, her voice clearly carried far enough for the skinny human to hear.
"Y-yes, Ms. Vidalia, ma'am?" Lars said just loud enough for Peridot to hear.
"Where should you be right now?" Vidalia said goodnaturedly.
Lars sighed. "At work ..." he admitted.
"Uh huh. So where do you think you should probably go now?"
Lars groaned even louder. "Work?" he said.
Vidalia closed her eyes and nodded.
"Smart boy," she said.
Lars lingered outside his dwelling for another moment, grumbled something Peridot couldn't hear, then went inside.
"... BYE LARS!" yelled Steven with a wave.
Amethyst chuckled.
"Wow, way to lay down the hammer, V," Amethyst said to Vidalia.
"Heh, well, he's one of Sour Cream's friends. Gotta look out for the kids, you know?" Vidalia said.
Vidalia's eyes flicked over to Peridot, who flinched and averted her eyes.
"So ... you must be Peridot," Vidalia said.
"Um ..." was all Peridot could manage. Vidalia grinned anyway.
Vidalia turned to Amethyst and the others.
"Why don't you all come in?" she said.
Connie was immediately stunned as soon as she walked in Vidalia's garage.
The garage itself was quite a mess. There were tiny multicolored stains dotted across the floor at random. There were shelves filled with both paint and cleaning supplies. No, what was special were the paintings everywhere. There were so many of them leaned along the walls of the garage, about six out in the open, but she noticed a stack of canvases in the corner that was too large for her to count quickly. All the pieces Connie could see were of Amethyst in various poses.
And they were good, nearly photorealistic even. It was really amazing to see such incredible art in person.
"Wow ..." Connie said.
Steven stood next to her, smiling.
"Pretty cool, huh?" Steven said.
Connie nodded.
On her other side, Peridot stared intently at all of the paintings in shocked silence. Amethyst was next to her, glancing over at her with a wide grin on her face.
Vidalia was in front of them, her arms folded and a warm expression on her face.
"So ..." Vidalia said, waving her hand towards the whole garage. "This is where the magic happens."
Amethyst leaned over to Peridot.
"And here I thought a different part of the house was where the magic happened, right?" Amethyst said, playfully nudging Peridot with her elbow. "Eh, get it?"
"Wha?" said Peridot, who paused then added, "Oh. Yes. A joke. Hahahaha." She awkwardly laughed in a way that made it obvious she had absolutely no idea what the joke was. Amethyst was amused regardless.
Connie walked over to one of the portraits of Amethyst's face, simply showing with a huge grin. It was practically a mirror image of her.
"These are amazing, Ms. Vidalia!" said Connie. "I can't believe there's an artist so talented near us!"
Vidalia crouched down to Connie's level.
"Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing to say that?" Vidalia said. "What's your name?"
Steven smacked his forehead.
"Oh my gosh, I can't believe I didn't introduce you, I'm so sorry!" Steven said. He waved his hands towards Connie dramatically. "Vidalia, this is my best friend Connie."
Connie nodded politely.
"It's really nice to meet you, ma'am," Connie said.
"I can't believe I forgot to do that," said Steven, rubbing his temple.
Connie giggled.
"It's fine, Steven. It's no big deal," she said.
"I-it is to me," said Steven, his cheeks turning faintly red.
Vidalia looked from Connie, then back to Steven, then back Connie, before her eyes got bright.
"Oh wow, Steven," said Vidalia, "Amethyst didn't mention you had a little girlfriend!"
Connie's eyes suddenly went wide as she blushed. Her eyes darted over to Steven, who was frozen still, his cheeks even redder than before.
Vidalia put a hand on Steven's shoulder.
"You really did grow up to be a little charmer like your dad, huh?" she said, beaming.
Connie grimaced nervously. Steven was clearly embarrassed. She had to say something.
"I-I-I think you- perhaps you have the wrong impression, I'm not- we're not-" Connie started.
Peridot raised an eyebrow.
"I'm sorry, what's a girlfriend?" Peridot asked.
"You know ..." Amethyst said, then bumped the sides of her fists together.
"Oh," Peridot said, then shook her head. "Wait, what?"
To Connie's horror, Steven looked mortified. If this kept up, she was afraid he'd die of a heart attack (or embarrassment, whichever came first).
Vidalia furrowed her brow, apparently noticing the discomfort on both Connie and Steven's faces.
"Hey, I didn't mean to embarrass you two or anything," Vidalia said.
"Embarrass?" Steven said nervously. "I-I'm not-"
Before Connie could say the same thing, Vidalia put her hand up.
"Why don't I be a good host and get you some water or something?" said Vidalia. "So you can chill out a bit?"
"I um ... I guess that's okay ..." Connie said, trying her best not to sound flustered and failing spectacularly.
Steven managed to nod in agreement.
Vidalia gestured for Connie and Steven to follow her. She led them to a door in the back of the garage, which opened into the living room. It was a typical living room: round coffee table, television, potted plants, a nice little lovesea-
A nice platonic loveseat. Platonic and nothing else. Yep. That's the kind of seat it was, thought Connie as her face felt hotter.
Vidalia disappeared into the kitchen as Connie and Steven sat down. Connie glanced at Steven, only to see him staring back at her. As soon as they made eye contact, they both looked away. For some reason, they sat farther away from each other than they would normally.
Not that Connie had to sit close to Steven or anything. It's not like it's a big deal, she thought.
It wasn't like feeling close to Steven was the warmest feeling in the world and not being close to him was the most empty feeling in the world.
Connie shifted in the seat uncomfortably. She opened her mouth to speak when Vidalia returned, placing two bottles of water on the table.
"Here you go," Vidalia said. "Only the finest at casa de Vidalia."
"T-thank you," said Connie, taking the bottle of water and quickly taking a swig.
"Y-yeah," was all Steven managed.
Vidalia gave a half-smile.
"Why don't you two just ... hang out here for a bit? Make yourselves at home. Onion and Sour Cream will probably be out for a while, you can just take a breather for as long as you need."
"O-okay," Connie said.
Vidalia turned back towards the door to garage. As she walked away she said, "Just yell if you need anything, alright?"
"Okay ..." Connie repeated.
Vidalia walked out of the living room into the garage.
Connie and Steven were alone.
In the living room.
On a loveseat.
Together.
Connie suddenly felt way more self-conscious than normal. She gulped.
Steven was the first to speak.
"So uh ..." Steven said, smiling nervously. "P-pretty crazy what Vidalia said about you being my girlfriend, huh?"
"Y-yeah!" Connie said, forcing a smile back. She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "Pfft! Crazy stuff."
"Yeah! Totally crazy."
"Like a boy and a girl can't just be friends or something."
"I know, right?!" Steven chuckled. "It's just silly."
"Exactly," Connie said.
"Yeah."
"Yep."
"M-hm," Steven said, nodding.
An extremely uncomfortable silence filled the room. Connie grimaced. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She knew Steven's was too; even if neither of them said why, they both knew.
"Well ..." Connie said, "I mean ... y-you don't think it's that crazy or anything, do you?"
Steven shook his head and waved his hands wildly.
"What?! No no!" Steven insisted. "I ... I didn't mean like 'crazy' crazy, it's ... not ... uh, maybe it's not any kind of crazy."
"Y-yeah, um ... maybe it isn't," Connie said.
Connie's hands were fidgeting. At the same time, Steven was rubbing his shoulder awkwardly.
Steven cleared his throat.
"Wanna ... actually talk about it?" Steven said.
Without skipping a beat, Connie said, "Yes."
"So, what do you think?" Amethyst said as Peridot stared at all the images of Amethyst.
Peridot was surprised by the extremely high quality of the pictures. Not that she had expected them to be terrible, but it was shocking to see such impressively recreated images of Amethyst. It was as if she was surrounded by Amethysts.
Surrounded by Amethysts that all act like the Amethyst she knows ...
And are all proficient shapeshifters ...
"Oookay so apparently you really like them because you're totally blushing right now," said Amethyst.
"I AM NOT!" Peridot said, not acknowledging that Amethyst was completely correct.
Amethyst grinned.
"It's okay, Peri!" she said with a laugh. "I really like them too. It's ..." She touched her shoulder, her smile fading. "It's kinda flattering when someone actually thinks you're interesting enough to turn into art, you know?"
Peridot stared at Amethyst. She was not used to seeing Amethyst act serious about anything; the only exception was when Peridot hurt Amethyst's feelings by calling her defective, something Peridot still remembered and felt disgusted with herself for doing. But this was different. She didn't seem sad, just ... genuine.
Oddly enough, this is one of the few things Amethyst had done around Peridot that did not make her feel nervous. Peridot was surprised by how easily her next words came.
"Well ... I wouldn't know that feeling myself," Peridot said, "but if there was a Gem I would consider worthy of being... represented in such a way, it would be you."
Amethyst's eyes glinted before she gave Peridot a small smile appeared different than her normal smiles, one that almost possessed a "glowing" quality to it that Peridot was unable to fully articulate.
"That's ... a really sweet thing to say, Peridot," Amethyst said. "I appreciate that."
Peridot frowned.
"What is ... 'sweet?'" Peridot said.
Amethyst gently placed her hand on Peridot's shoulder.
"You are," Amethyst said.
Peridot's eyes shot towards Amethyst's hand. Normally physical contact made Peridot frightfully nervous and uncomfortable but, like the hand holding earlier in the day, this felt quite ... enjoyable. It made her entire physical form feel tingly. It was nice.
And the moment was immediately disrupted by Vidalia coming back into the garage.
"Okay," Vidalia said as she walked in. "I'm giving the kids a few minutes alone so they can chill or make out or whatever."
Amethyst let go of Peridot's shoulder and smirked at Vidalia. Peridot found herself immediately disappointed at her hand's absence.
"Hey Vidalia, guess what?" Amethyst said. "Peri really likes your art!"
Vidalia brightened up.
"Oh, really?!" Vidalia said. "Well, that's nice to hear."
"Um ... yes," Peridot said. "You seem quite adept at creating images of Amethyst."
"Heh, well, thanks," said Vidalia. "Actually, I think I have a couple of paintings around here that aren't of Amethyst. Would you like to see them?"
"Um. Well..." Peridot started.
Amethyst glanced over at Peridot and, strangely, she had a concerned expression her face.
"Um, you know, if you don't want to, it's fine," Amethyst said softly. "I mean, Vidalia's paintings are great, really great, but if you don't feel like it-"
Peridot was confused. What was this shift all of a sudden? Did Peridot let her worriness show to much? Did she appear uninterested? Peridot didn't mean to. She really did want to understand art, if only to make Amethyst happy. If she had let it show she was apprehensive even the slightest bit, she would simply need to try harder.
"No, it's fine," Peridot insisted as she shook her head. "I'm quite ... interested to see them."
Vidalia walked over to a stack of physical image slabs in the corner.
"Let's see ..." she mutted as she flipped through them. Her eyes fell on one which made her chuckle. "Oh wow, I forgot this was still here," she said. "Okay, take a look at this one..."
Vidalia held up one of the images towards Peridot. It was a random splatting of colors against the entire surface of the picture. There did not appear to be any form to it; it seemed as if paint had been physically hurled against it. Peridot had no idea what the subject of the painting was even supposed to be.
"Soooo?" Vidalia said, eagerly anticipating Peridot's reaction. Peridot wasn't sure she even had one. Much more worrying to Peridot was Amethyst. She wasn't laughing or joking like normal. Her eyes were just lingering on Peridot, her brow furrowed.
Peridot tried not to worry and failed.
"Um." Peridot scratched the side of her cheek. She wished Connie and Steven were still here to help Peridot fabricate her way through this conversation. She closed her eyes, trying to remember the line Connie had given her if she didn't know what to say.
"Well ..." Peridot said as she remembered. "It ... says a lot about the human condition ..."
Vidalia glanced down at the painting, surprised.
"Oh, you think so?" she said. She looked back up at Peridot. "What do you think it says?"
"... pardon?" Peridot said.
"What does it say about the human condition?"
Peridot then realized she had absolutely no plan for addressing any follow-up questions about her opinions of art and that she actually had no idea what "human condition" meant.
"Well ..." Peridot started. "It, um ... the use of colors obviously means ..." She coughed. "That is to say, obviously it's like ... it represents-"
Oh stars, oh stars, I have no clue what I'm talking about, everyone is staring at me, I look like an imbecile, thought Peridot as Vidalia just stood there. There was a smile on her face for some reason, but Peridot knew it was probably just amused by what a clod she was.
Amethyst's eyes were wide. Peridot could only imagine how "uncool" Amethyst thought she was right now. That must have been it, why Amethyst had been so unlike herself. Amethyst must have realized how bad of an act Peridot had been putting up, that she was nothing but a liar, that she barely understood how to function since she got to this planet, let alone have anything interesting to say. She was never going to want to be around Peridot again.
The remainder of Peridots existence was going to be lonely and horrible, she could feel herself shake all over, her mind felt as if it was racing with a million horrible thoughts all at once, this was so embarrassing-
"Peridot, what's wrong?" Amethyst said suddenly.
"N-nothing," Peridot said. She heard her own voice crack.
Vidalia's smile faded as she stared at Peridot in shock.
"Are you ... are you crying?" Vidalia said, her voice filled with concern.
Peridot touched her face and realized her vision spheres were filled with tears. She hadn't even noticed until that moment.
Amethyst was staring at her, her face a paler shade of purple than normal and her mouth open.
Oh stars, she's gonna say it, she's gonna ask what is wrong with me and be disgusted by what I'm a defect I am, said Peridot, feeling more tears flow.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," Vidalia said, putting the painting down. "It's not a big deal, everything's fine-"
"I know everything's fine!" Peridot said. Her voice cracked even more, but she refused to acknowledge it. "I'm just ... am overcome with emotion at all the things that painting says about human conditioner!" She sniffed. "Or condition, whatever ..."
"Look, if you need a minute to-"
"I said I'm fine!" Peridot shouted, painfully aware this was likely making sound even more like a freak. "Obviously something in the air on this stupid planet is just making me leak!"
Vidalia said nothing. Amethyst was looking away awkwardly. Peridot felt a lump in her throat.
She can't even look at me, Peridot thought. I-
"Um, Vidalia," Amethyst said calmly. "Could you maybe give us a minute?"
Vidalia glanced back at Peridot, then nodded.
"Yes," Vidalia said. "Yeah, of course. I'll just ... I'll go get some air."
Vidalia walked out of the front of the garage, disappearing past the tarp, leaving Peridot alone with Amethyst.
Amethyst reached out for Peridot. Her face had softened. Peridot didn't know what to make of her expression. Was it pity? If it was, that made Peridot feel worse than if it was just anger, so much so she started feeling ill again.
"Peridot ..." she said.
Peridot recoiled. She didn't want to hear what came next, because it couldn't possibly be good.
"I said I'm all right! Why don't you believe me?!" Peridot said, wiping tears from her eyes. "I'm not lying! I know all about art! And I was just about to show how much I knew before this ... this obvious defect with my physical form took-"
"Peridot, I don't care about any of that," Amethyst said, raising her voice. "I care about you."
Peridot opened her mouth, stunned.
"You ..." Peridot sniffed. "You do?"
Amethyst nodded.
Peridot wanted to ask "why?" but a sob welled up instead.
Amethyst didn't say anything. She simply stretched her arms out, her eyes fixed on Peridot's.
Peridot stared at Amethyst and, forgetting every reservation she had about physical contact, slowly walked into her arms. Peridot felt them wrap around her as she buried her face in Amethyst's chest. Amethyst's hair brushed against her cheek.
"It's cool, dude," Amethyst said, patting Peridot's back. "Just ... just take all the time you need."
Peridot managed to nod and lingered there, waiting for when her voice would decide to start working again and for the infuriating tears to stop ...
"So have you um ..." said Steven as he fidgeted in the loveseat. "Have you ever thought about it?"
Connie gulped. Her heart pounded like a jackhammer.
"You mean like ... being boyfriend-girlfriend?" she said.
Steven nodded. Connie nervously rubbed her shoulder with one hand.
"... have you?" Connie said.
Steven looked away, his cheeks red.
"I-I asked you first," Steven said.
Connie sighed. She couldn't believe she was getting so flustered over this, but she couldn't help it.
"Why don't we both say at the same time?" Connie said.
"O-okay," Steven said.
"On the count of three, okay?" she said. "One ..."
"W-wait, is that like ... 'one, two, three, go' or 'one, two, go?'"
"One, two, three, go."
"Okay ..." Steven said. "T-that- you saying 'one, two, three' just now didn't count as the count, right?"
"No."
"Okay. Just wondering."
Connie took a deep breath.
"Okay ..." she said.
There was a long pause.
"... are you going to start the count?" Steven said.
"Yes, I'm going to," Connie said.
"Cause if you want me to do it, I could-"
"No, I'm good ..."
Connie took more deep breaths. After each one, she told herself she'd start counting, but didn't. She felt butterflies in her stomach. She was shaking with anticipation.
Steven tilted his head down bashfully.
"Maybe we should sleep on it or-"
"I think about it all the time, okay?!" blurted out Connie.
Steven's eyes became huge.
"Like all the time!" Connie said as her chest tightened. Her entire body felt fiery hot. "Literally all the time! I mean, I really think about it whenever you do something cute, but everything you do is cute so it ends up being ALL the time!"
"I'm cute all the time?" Steven said hesitantly.
"Are you joking? Yes, you are!"
"Like ... right now? I'm being cute right now?"
"VERY! You're the most adorable person who's ever existed! You're the best person I've ever met to the point I'm amazed you're even REAL, like this is all some sappy dream and I'm terrified one day I'm going to wake up from it! All I've ever wanted to do since the day we met is be near you and wow, I just realized I said waaaay more than I meant to!"
Connie hyperventilated. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down. At least the tightness in her chest was gone.
She felt something warm touch her hand. When she opened her eyes, Connie saw Steven's hand on top of hers, rested on the loveseat. He stared at her.
"I ... think the same way about you," Steven said.
"You're serious?" Connie said.
"Of course, Connie! How could I not think that way about you?!" said Steven. "You're like the coolest girl in the world and you're so nice and you're awesome and I can tell you anything and ..." Steven smiled. "You make me feel like I'm special."
Connie smiled back and twisted her hand around to grasp his.
"Of course you're special. You're Steven."
The pounding in Connie's chest disappeared. She felt a calmness she had never known before. It was the feeling of being home, feeling safe, feeling like she belonged only amplified. She felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be. She exhaled.
"O-kay, that ... that had been building up for a while," Connie said with a laugh.
"Tell me about it, heh," Steven said. "I can't believe we both felt like that and never said anything. I mean, I can believe it, but ..." He tightened his grip on Connie's hand. "I was so afraid saying anything would make things weird and that you wouldn't want to be around me anymore."
"I know! I thought the exact same thing! It's ... it's pretty silly, now that I think about it. Especially since we almost kissed that one time."
Steven's face flushed.
"What?! Oh ... oh right," Steven said. "When I healed your eyes."
"Yeah ..." Connie leaned closer to Steven. "Did you- back then would you have minded if we had, you know ... done that?"
Steven looked down.
"N-no ..." he said. "I was actually kinda sad we didn't, to be honest."
"It made you sad, really?"
Steven nodded bashfully.
Connie scooted closer to him until they were touching.
"Well ..." Connie said, "t-there's a pretty obvious way to fix that."
Steven's face became completely red again.
"I- um ... I uh ..." Steven said. "I've ... I have to tell you, I've never really kissed anyone before so I might not be, you know... good at it."
"I haven't either," Connie said. "It would be nice to try, I think."
Connie and Steven looked at one another, their faces only inches apart. Connie blushed just as much as Steven.
"Okay," Steven said, "so should we try this on the count of three or-"
Connie leaned in and kissed Steven on the lips. She shut her eyes. She felt her chest flutter. His lips were surprisingly soft. She felt Steven's hand gently brush her shoulder. Everything about it felt just felt right.
Connie could have stayed that way forever if she hadn't heard the front door swing open seconds later.
"Hey," Vidalia said as she walked in. "Are you kids doing-"
Connie and Steven both broke away from the kiss, scooting away from each other as far as possible. They both stared at Vidalia.
"-all right?" she finished slowly.
"Yes! Hi! Yep! We are!" Connie managed to say.
"Yeeeeaah, I'd say so," Vidalia said, the corner of her mouth curving upward.
Steven opened his mouth but appeared incapable of speech. Connie tilted her head down. She didn't want Steven to be embarrassed further. After all, the kiss was entirely her fault; it was only fair she take the blame.
"Listen, Ms. Vidalia, I-" Connie started.
"You know," Vidalia interrupted, "it's kinda funny how, when you get older, your eyesight starts to go. Like really starts to go." She smiled. "So much so that I'm not even sure I saw anything. Get it?"
Connie blinked then, getting the picture, simply nodded.
"But-" Steven started.
Vidalia shook her head with a laugh.
"Just make sure that this is the only thing I 'don't see,' alright?" said Vidalia.
Steven was astonished. After a moment of silence, he simply said, "Okay."
Vidalia walked towards the stairs.
"Oh, and stay out of the garage for a bit," Vidalia said, suddenly serious. "Amethyst and Peridot wanted some space. We can check on them in a bit."
"Okay. Yes. Thank you, Ms. Vidalia," said Connie.
Connie could hear another chuckle from Vidalia as she climbed up the stairs out of view.
Steven and Connie's eyes met and both of them giggled like little kids.
"Well ... that was something," Connie said. Her cheeks hurt from how much she was smiling.
"Was it a 'good' something?" asked Steven shyly.
Connie touched his hand.
"The best," she said.
At some point, Peridot realized she had stopped crying and was simply lingering with her head buried in Amethyst's chest.
"I'm sorry," Peridot finally said.
"For what?" Amethyst said. "For crying?"
"Yes. And other things. For being like this." Peridot kept her head buried, too afraid to even show her face. "For fabricating so much. For being defective."
Amethyst gently pushed Peridot back, forcing Peridot to look up. Amethyst smiled weakly.
"Well ..." She laughed awkwardly. "Well, apparently I'm defective too, so it's not so bad."
Peridot glared at Amethyst, the reminder of her own hurtful words to Amethyst at the prime Kindergarten cutting through her like a knife.
Amethyst frowned.
"Sorry," said Amethyst. "Bad joke."
"Yes, it was. It was not amusing when I said it then, it isn't amusing now." Peridot was quiet for a moment, then whispered, "You were never the one who was defective ..."
Amethyst said nothing back. Peridot sighed.
"I do not actually know anything about art," admitted Peridot. "I fabricated the entire thing. And then I couldn't even fake my way through it properly."
Amethyst shrunk her head down into her shoulders as if she was embarrassed.
"Yeeeeeeeah," said Amethyst. "I uh ... I kinda knew that already."
Peridot blinked.
"What?" said Peridot.
Amethyst grimaced.
"You're um ... you're not exactly subtle when you're lying. Like ... kinda not subtle at all. It was completely obvious."
"... oh," said Peridot. "That's ... a fair assessment. But, I don't understand. If you knew that, then why-"
Amethyst turned her head away, brushing her bangs from her eyes.
"I just kinda thought it would be, you know ... kind of hilarious to see you pretend you were and get kinda flustered. I mean ... at first. But then, you know, you started saying all that nice stuff and it stopped feeling funny, and I tried to say you didn't have to do this because it's like I just suddenly knew what was gonna happen and-" She turned back to Peridot. "I swear, I didn't mean for you to get upset or anything like that, and I really didn't mean for you to feel bad about yourself. I just thought it would be fun at first, and- and I didn't even think about how stressful that might be or how you might feel like garbage because I'm ..." Amethyst tilted her head down and spoke in a low voice. "Because I'm kind of a jerk sometimes. A lot of the time. All the time, really." She paused. "I'm the one who's sorry, Peridot."
Peridot did not know what to say.
"It's okay if you're mad," whispered Amethyst. "I would be too."
The odd thing was Peridot wasn't quite sure how to feel. Part of her wanted to be angry, part of her almost wanted to laugh at the realization she had panicked for absolutely no reason, part of her wanted to cry again ...
And a very, very small part of Peridot missed the days when she didn't feel anything and never had to worry about conflicting emotions she didn't understand assaulting her. She felt guilty feeling that, even a little, because she hated how she used to be ... but in that moment, it seemed so much easier back then.
But then, when Peridot saw how sorry Amethyst was, she remembered how Amethyst had forgiven her for hurting her feelings before, even when she didn't deserve it. Peridot understood perfectly how awful it was to hurt someone and not mean to.
"It's okay," said Peridot.
"It's ... what?" said Amethyst. "Are you sure you're alright?"
Peridot almost laughed.
"I'm not certain if I've ever been 'all right,'" Peridot said. "But I am not angry. I ... forgive you, if that's what you mean. I know you did not mean to hurt me. You are not the type to hurt purposefully."
Amethyst's face contorted at this. She covered her face with one hand, laughing bitterly.
"What?" Peridot said.
"No, it's just-" Amethyst shook her head and put her hand down. "I mean, it's really sweet you think that, but you're so completely wrong. I mean, I've done a lot of really bad stuff." She sounded choked up, but only for a brief moment. "I mean, I've done REALLY bad stuff and it's always to people I like, just like today, except sometimes it's even worse. It's like ... I would do anything to actually actually not care all the crappy things I've done to people instead of just acting like I don't, cause maybe then I wouldn't feel like garbage so much. It-" Amethyst sighed. "I don't even know what I'm saying. This sounds really stupid, doesn't it?"
"That's not stupid at all!" Peridot said, surprised at the urgency in her voice when she spoke. "I think along similar lines sometimes too. But ..." Peridot frowned. "I want you to know ... I admire that you do care."
Amethyst let out a single snort of laughter.
"If you admire me, you really are in bad shape," Amethyst said.
"No, I'm serious," said Peridot. "I can't claim to understand much about this planet or emotions or ... much of anything, but one thing I do know is that lacking emotion is not enjoyable. If I had felt them with more intensity before coming to this planet, perhaps ..."
Peridot immediately thought back to a very specific incident. She remembered-
- she remembered the Lazuli staring at her from across the table in the ship's interrogation room, her expression empty, lost, broken. Peridot recognized all this, recognized the hurt ... and simply didn't care. And why would she? The Lazuli was just another part of this horrible job that would soon be over and behind her. Once she moved to another assignment, Peridot reassured herself she would forget all of this, forget the Lazuli's likely-fabricated sob story, forget all the lies she told to get the information she needed...
Peridot's shook her head, snapping out of the traumatic memory, and her voice got quiet.
"Perhaps I would have less to regret," Peridot said.
Amethyst hesitated.
"Peridot ..." said Amethyst. "You ... you don't like yourself either, do you?"
Peridot curved her mouth upwards into something resembling a smile.
"Objectively there isn't much to like," Peridot said.
Amethyst was not amused.
"Peridot ... I know how you feel," Amethyst said. "Like, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I'm an expert on liking yourself because then I'd be an even bigger fake than I already am but ... you're not a bad guy anymore. And, for what it's worth, even if you don't like yourself ... I want you to know that I like you. And you never had to pretend to be anything for me to think that." She grinned. "I already liked you."
Peridot felt a warm feeling in her Gem that extended to every unit of her construct. It meant a lot of hear. It didn't erase how Peridot felt about herself but still ... it appeared to help.
"I'm ... still unaware what would inspire you to think that," Peridot said.
Amethyst rolled her eyes.
"Come on, what isn't there to like?" Amethyst threw her hands out, gesturing towards Peridot. "You're Peri! You're funny! You do funny things! And it's like everything is new and amazing to you! And you throw yourself into everything you do, just like Vidalia! And it's just cute seeing you do, you know, Peridot stuff. You know, like when you put on Steven's banana pajamas or how you practice singing with your tape recorder when you think everyone's asleep."
Peridot's face became pale.
"You know about tha-" Peridot coughed. "I- I mean, that was ... I was simply experimenting with vocal pitch and-"
Amethyst giggled.
"See what I mean? You're awesome!" said Amethyst. "I wish I could be that cool."
Peridot opened her mouth, astonished.
"What are you talking about?" Peridot said. "You're the one who is humorous and well-adapted to this planet. You make it appear as if you don't even have to try to converse with anyone, you simply do it. It's ..." Peridot glanced down at the ground. "So essentially the situation is we both think of ourselves as inferior, but think the other is incredible. Is that accurate?"
"Pretty blunt way to put it, but yeah," said Amethyst.
"... I've just realized how abnormal that is."
"Yeah, we're both pretty dumb."
"Agreed."
Amethyst chuckled, her face lit up. Peridot grinned back without even meaning to.
"... thank you, Amethyst," said Peridot. "I'll ... try not to think of myself as defective. And I'm sorry for lying."
Amethyst reached out and gripped Peridot's hand, just like she had in the bathroom that morning. And Peridot felt her entire body feel tingly all over again.
"I'm sorry too," said Amethyst softly.
Peridot mumbled something that might have been words, but she was too focused on Amethyst's hand to even process what she was trying to say.
"Um ..." Amethyst said, "I'm not making you nervous again, am I?"
"Yes," Peridot said in a dreamy tone. "Extremely."
"Youuuu want me to let go?" Amethyst said.
Peridot shook her head, still not capable of speech. Amethyst snorted.
"Peri ... you're a trip," Amethyst said.
"The rest was largely uneventful," Peridot said into her tape recorder in the bathroom late the next night. She leaned against the wall opposite of the taped-up mirror, her own reflection the only audience. "Vidalia eventually came back with Connie and Steven, who both seemed rather unnecessarily happy for some reason. Connie said she'd explain later but never did. However, considering how ... giddy they appeared, I have a hypothesis or two.
"The human Vidalia seemed rather remorseful of the entire affair, saying she wished our visit hadn't been a complete disaster and vowed to make it up to me, quite unnecessarily I might add. I only asked, for my own curiosity, the intended meaning of the image she had shown me. She looked embarrassed and eventually told me there wasn't an intended meaning. It was a piece she had made largely by accident, that she only kept around because it reminded her of someone."
Peridot chuckled and rolled her eyes.
"You can imagine my embarrassment that I had panicked over nothing. But I don't blame Vidalia. She seemed decent enough ... for a human. Even though I ended up learning nothing about art, meeting her was worth the trip.
"And though it wasn't my intention, I did learn something else." She twirled the recorder in her hand. "It's ... difficult to phrase precisely. I feel that ... perhaps I am defective, perhaps these illogical, infuriating emotions do indicate a malfunction, but ... I no longer consider that a terrible outcome. I think these defects are simply ... what I am now. And if Amethyst and the others find me acceptable as a result, maybe I can't even be considered defective at all. Or maybe everyone is defective. Or perhaps on this planet, defective doesn't exist? I-"
Peridot groaned and stopped the recorder.
"Nothing I'm saying makes any sense," Peridot whispered. "This log is terrible. I should have just practiced singing the pink 'leemo-zeen' song again-"
Before Peridot could get another word out, there were three quick thuds against the bathroom door. Peridot straightened up. That was Amethyst's knock.
"C-coming!" Peridot said.
She quickly opened the door, but Amethyst wasn't there. She heard hurried footsteps down the hall, but when she turned to look, Amethyst was already gone.
Peridot was extremely confused until she saw a large, flat rectangular gift wrapped in brown paper sitting on the floor. Peridot's eyes darted in both directions before she dragged it into the bathroom.
There were two small notes on the package. Thanks to Connie's lessons, Peridot was able to read both of them.
The first one was short, and Peridot could easily tell it was from Amethyst:
I got V to do a thing, hope you like it.
The message was followed by what Steven had called a "heart emoji." Peridot grinned the second she saw it.
The second note was longer and took a bit more effort to decode, but eventually Peridot realized it read:
Hey Peridot.
Sorry it was kind of a disaster when you came over. I felt bad and wanted to make it up to you. Amethyst actually had a good idea, for once (haha, just kidding). She said you mentioned how you didn't know what it felt like to be the subject of art. Figured I could fix that.
Come back over sometime and it'll be better. I promise. We can get drunk and I can tell you embarrassing stories about Amethyst or something. Take care.
-Vidalia
Peridot had no clue what "drunk" meant, but she appreciated it as a friendly gesture.
Peridot carefully tore the brown paper and saw it was a stunning painting of her own face. The image of Peridot had her eyes closed, smiling from cheek to cheek. At the bottom, written in green letters, were the words "Welcome to Earth."
Peridot stared at the painting for a long time and it took her even longer to realize that her own smile started to match the one in the image; it was as if seeing it turned it into a reality.
Peridot had no idea what this painting said about the human condition ... but she did know seeing it made her happy.
And that was good enough for her.
Next time on I Want to Understand: Pearl! And Dr. Maheswaran!