"When you are guilty, it is not your sins you hate but yourself."
― Anthony de Mello, One Minute Wisdom
Chapter Three
Guilt
Elijah paused, unsure if he should continue.
"I didn't want to take Elena away from her friends."
Stefan didn't buy it, however he concealed his look of discontent. Elijah however, having gone one thousand years people watching, caught the subtle expression.
"Allow me to be honest Salvatore." The Original vampire spoke, his voice carrying strong, "I am not here to ask you for your forgiveness. Where I am not pleased with my actions, they are done. You can keep your hatred for me bottled up for Elena's sake, or you could come at me. It does not matter. I am here to guarantee Elena's safety with you." The Original vampire spat the words, approaching Stefan.
"What are you talking about? You cannot guarantee her safety at all. You killed her." Stefan was angry. "You turned her!"
The younger vampire took a step forward, first, ready to challenge the Original, then rested on his left foot to relax as Elijah got closer. He was ready to accept the challenge, whether it be keeping Elena safe, or fighting Elijah.
"Now, before you go jumping the gun here…"Elijah stepped to the side, and back a few steps. He needed their help, so he needed to tell them the truth. Elena would understand.
"Elena is not someone's humanity I would toss away so easily. She wanted this."
Stefan's eyes widened. It was out of Elijah's character to lie, especially about Elena.
He couldn't imagine Elena asking to be turned, unless something much larger were at stake.
"She wouldn't do that, unless you threatened the people she cares about." He spoke with conviction, now getting angrier at Elijah.
The Original chuckled slightly, pointing his finger in the air, as a gesture Stefan had come to learn meant a story was to be told.
"You see, It wasn't me who threatened her friends."
Klaus Stefan realized.
"I went to extreme measures to protect Elena. I threatened to rip her heart out if I so much as saw her." Elijah went on to explain, " My brother intended to kill her and all of his siblings. He intended on breaking his need of a doppelganger, making him unstoppable. "
Stefan realized, without the doppelganger, nothing would stop him from ending the lives of all of Elena's friends and family. It all began to make sense.
"So…that's why he took her." He deducted aloud, everything falling into place now.
Of course, Elijah had left out how he told Elena he loved her.
He still meant every word
"Yes. What I did to Elena was irresponsible, rash and horribly selfish. You and I both know how much she did not want this. I regret what I did to her, I wish I had allowed Nicklaus to do his spell and kill us all…but at the same time, I could never allow it to happen, knowing the ultimate outcome." Stefan could hear Elijah's tone shift from threatening to regretful.
"So why are you telling me this?" he asked, still unsure.
"I am afraid I have made Elena feel rather, uncomfortable at my home. She feels it is her I hate. That is not true, sadly it seems my regret for my actions still shows."
Yet here, I thought they were running away in love Stefan thought, not being able to help the enjoyment he felt of Elijah's pain.
"I gave Elena a choice. If she chooses to leave, I will trust you to keep her safe from Nicklaus."
Oh how he wished she wouldn't leave.
"I begged him to turn me, and in return he told me he loved me. He didn't want this for me."
Bonnie and Caroline stared at their friend in awe.
That explains everything! Both girls thought, but only Caroline said it aloud.
"Elijah doesn't hate you Elena." She was excited now after hearing this new gossip. "He hates himself for turning you. He is probably afraid for you!"
Elena considered this for a moment, but brushed it off.
"He told me it was my decision if I wanted to leave or not. I-I don't know what to do." Her voice broke, while Bonnie placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
"Do you think he wants you to go?" she asked her friend.
Elena shrugged, she had no idea what he truly wanted. He had deflected answering the question.
She knew Elijah was too polite to kick her out, but he would never tell her the truth if he did want her gone.
"Maybe I should leave." She decided finally, "Elijah would never tell me if he wanted me to leave. I feel bad staying here."
"Where will you go?" Caroline asked, looking sad for her friend. She wanted her friend to come home to Mystic Falls but with Klaus around it wasn't safe.
Elena shrugged.
"I don't think I'm ready to go home. Too much has happened and as long as Klaus is around it is too dangerous."
Did she even want to go home?
"Maybe I need to go on a walk about." She decided. "Maybe that will help clear my head."
Bonnie nodded in agreement, secretly she wanted Elena far away from Elijah. When the witch wasn't blaming herself for her best friend turning she continued to blame the Original vampire who managed to manipulate Elena too many times to count.
"How do you think Elijah will feel about this" Caroline asked. Secretly she thought he was good for Elena. As long as she stayed away from Damon all was well in the world. Elijah in a way, could be better than Stefan, always distant, but right there when she needed him.
Always and forever after all , the blonde sighed with jealousy.
"I don't know. What I do know is he will respect my decision."
That's all that matters…right?
The trio hadn't even noticed the movie was over they were all so deep in thought.
Bonnie had wanted Elena to go, she felt the space from Elijah would do her some good.
Caroline on the other hand, thought Elena should just confess her unspoken feelings for the Original already and get on with it.
Caroline was always the hopeless romantic.
The blonde vampire's phone buzzed just at the perfect time giving the girls the cue to leave. She got up to check it while Bonnie grabbed her things to see it was a text message from Stefan.
Elijah is here, where are you? It read. Caroline wondered why Elijah would lie to Elena, and wanted to tell her friend, but she was in a tough spot right now as is. Elijah had a reason for everything he did.
As Bonnie got ready to go, she passed a longing look to her friend and pulled her into a tight hug.
"It's okay Bon. I think I am going to take that walk about…tonight." She said as she returned the hug, smiling again as they broke apart.
Elena knew she needed time to herself, she just didn't want to hurt Elijah in the process.
Caroline however, expressed her distaste of the plan as Bonnie waited in the car.
"You can't do that to Elijah!" she scolded her friend.
"Care, you know I need this. Try not to worry too much okay?"
Caroline smiled, knowing she couldn't argue this one.
"Just be safe okay?" She gave Elena a hug and ran to the car. As Elena watched her friends drive off, she wondered if she was doing the right thing.
He told me he loved me, yet he doesn't show it. She reasoned with herself, He told me always and forever.
Elena ran to her bedroom and grabbed his first letter from her drawer, holding it close to her heart.
She knew that he would hurt, but he would also understand.
Quickly Elena packed a few items of clothing and some blood bags. Deep down she knew it was dangerous to go by herself, but bringing someone along would only defeat the purpose.
Elena left, driving off into the night with her sad goodbyes that she never got to say to Elijah still trapped in her throat.
It's best this way.
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