Things To Do When You're Disavowed
The following morning at breakfast. The gang was sitting around a large breakfast table filled to the brim with a lot of food. Well most of them.
"Krieger's still at it?" Lana was stunned. She was wearing a red shirt top and a pair of jeans and feeding AJ through a bottle.
"Yeah it's kind of touch and go in there," Cyril sighed. He was still wearing the outfit he wore yesterday and it was covered in blood. "Which reminds me I need to take him some coffee and an egg sandwich."
"I guess he could use the energy," Archer remarked. He was wearing the same outfit he wore yesterday.
Back in surgery (AKA The Garage of Doom!)
"LIVE DAMN YOU! LIVE!" Krieger screamed as tears ran from his eyes. He was using some kind of wires and electricity could be seen lighting up the entire room.
Back in the kitchen the lights started to dim in and out for a minute…
"That has got to be Krieger's doing," Archer noticed.
"If he blows out my electricity I'm charging you extra," Lupe warned. "And as for you old woman I'm counting the silverware!"
"Who are you calling old, you Mexican relic?" Mallory snapped. "And how dare you insinuate I'd steal your things! Its…"
"Accurate?" Pam spoke up between mouthfuls. She was wearing a yellow dress and sitting next to Mallory.
"Yeah especially since Ron kicked you to the curb," Cheryl snickered. Her hair was down in a ponytail and wearing a blue sundress.
"I really thought I would have had more money than him by now," Mallory admitted. "Thanks to that damn pre nup I don't get a dime from his stupid dealerships!"
"The irony is that you signed that damn thing so that Ron wouldn't have a stake in your spy agency," Pam pointed out. "Which is pretty ironic. You know because he still has what…Eight dealerships by now? And your spy agency is gone. I mean gone, gone…"
"Yes Pam," Mallory gritted her teeth. "I am well aware of the irony."
Pam went on laughing. "I mean…Think about it. You made him sign the pre nup saying what you brought into the marriage stays yours. And what Ron brought into the marriage stays his. And he ends up with everything and you ended up with squat! See how funny it is?"
"Hilarious," Mallory's eye twitched.
"It is because you are like the most money hungry person I know," Pam told her. "You are always looking for a quick payout. And here you had a great sugar daddy but you ended up getting nothing from him. Absolutely nothing! You're dead broke! Ron is super rich and you are flat busted on your broke ass!"
"Grrrr…" Mallory's eye twitched even more.
"It's funny because you think you're this high class rich bitch and Ron's just a sap of a slob who you thought you could take for everything he had," Pam went on. "But he ends up taking you to the cleaners! That's funny!"
Mallory's eye stopped twitching. The look on her face became one of absolute calm. She then began to unbuckle her belt around her waist.
Pam kept going, not noticing what Mallory was doing. "You even lost your apartment because you had the bright idea to put it in Ron's name so not only couldn't the CIA not touch it, you didn't have to pay taxes. And this is like the second or third time Ron's kicked you out right? I mean how did you not see this coming? I would have thought the first time he kicked you out and we got our spy agency back you would have been smart enough to get the apartment back in your own name. But nooooope! You didn't. Now you have nothing and he has…"
By now Mallory had completely taken off the belt. After a brief pull to test its strength she then leapt up and started to choke Pam with it. "DIE YOU FAT MOUTHED SLOB! DIE!" Mallory screamed as she strangled Pam.
"URK! AKKK…" Pam choked.
Everyone quickly dove in to separate them. Well everyone except for Cheryl who was jumping up and down in her seat clapping with glee.
"Me next! Me next!" Cheryl cheered. "Do me! Do me!"
"GLADLY!" Mallory tried to strangle Cheryl but was held back by Archer and the others.
"Jesus Christ Mother!" Archer shoved her back into her seat and removed the belt from her hands. "Is this going to be a thing now? What? I have to stop you from killing someone every day?"
"Only until those two and the rest of you are dead!" Mallory shouted. "YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"
This prompted groans from everyone else. "You are really not going to let this go are you?" Cyril snapped.
"It's like the bitch has a one track mind," Pam rubbed her neck. "A broke ass track…"
Mallory screamed and leapt again to attack Pam. But this time Pam was ready for her. "You want some of this?" Pam shouted as she shoved Mallory backwards. "You really want some of this?"
"I want you idiots to act like adults for once!" Lana shouted over her baby's crying. "That includes you Mallory!"
"We have at least all day today to wait for our ride," Archer said. "So we need to relax a little and figure out what we're going to do all day."
"I could use a shower and a damn nap that's what I need," Cyril moaned. "I am so freaking tired."
"Pam and I are going to go walk around the town and take pictures of burned buildings!" Cheryl said cheerfully. "I'm so excited!"
"This is like Disneyland for her," Pam explained.
"I gathered that yeah," Archer nodded. "Cyril since you smell worse than King Kong's girlfriend's tampon you take a shower and I'll go give Krieger his coffee and stuff. Besides I've never seen cyborg surgery before. It should be interesting."
"You're not going to sabotage that are you?" Lana glared.
"God Lana no!" Archer groaned. "Honestly I'm more worried about Krieger doing that."
Back in surgery…
"Well that shouldn't happen," Krieger blinked as Ray's non robotic hand poked up and waved from the table. "If it was the robot hand I could see it…"
Then Ray's other hand popped up. "That makes more sense…" Krieger nodded.
Back at the table…
"So maybe Krieger does need my help?" Archer got up. "And some coffee…" He grabbed a pot and a mug and left the room.
"Well I'm going to make more calls and try and salvage what's left of my life together," Mallory grumbled as she poured some scotch into her coffee.
"Aw come on Ms. Archer," Pam scoffed. "Who are you kidding? We all know that's not going to happen! Come take a tour of the town with us!"
"I am not going sightseeing among a row of burned out husks that were once someone's homes," Mallory gave her a look. "I've seen that for years all over the world. Most recently the weekend Ron and I went to the Jersey Shore and discovered the roof of his beach house was on someone else's lawn."
"That would put a damper on a romantic weekend," Pam admitted.
"It was like taking a vacation in a war zone but with better shopping," Mallory sighed as she took a drink.
"Wait how are you going to take pictures if you don't have your phone?" Lana asked.
"Lupe lent us a digital camera," Pam explained. "She says she needs more photos anyway for insurance stuff."
"I run a few side businesses to keep things going," Lupe explained. "Speaking of which I need help Lana with one of them. You see I make brownies for cancer patients that live two towns over and…"
"And you want me to help bake them?" Lana asked with a sigh.
"Honestly I don't trust these three to help me," Lupe pointed the other women. "Any of them look like they would eat the product. Burn the product or God knows what else they'd do with it."
"That's actually a very accurate description of what would happen," Lana admitted.
"It's not like I just looked at you and said, 'All right! The giant black woman is the best baker out of the lot'," Lupe went on. "There was a process of elimination but…"
"Yeah I get there was a thought process behind that," Lana added. "And it was an extremely short one."
"Just letting you know there was some consideration," Lupe shrugged.
"And it was a very quick one," Lana said. "Not the first time this has happened."
"So you'll help me?" Lupe asked.
"Why not?" Lana sighed as she got up and took AJ with her.
"Don't worry," Lupe smiled. "This will be fun. I always wanted my daughters and granddaughters to cook with me. They don't like to cook. They think baking illegal brownies is too traditional and not feminist enough. Ai, like being prostitutes or assassins is that much better!"
"I've only been out of the spy game for a day and I'm already back in the drug business," Lana groaned as she went to the kitchen. "This is going to be the cocaine cartel all over again. I just know it."
"Well we'd better get going!" Pam grinned. "Those burned out buildings aren't going to be gawked at by themselves!"
"Maybe we can set some more fires?" Cheryl giggled.
"God I have to call Ron and beg him to take me back…" Mallory moaned as she went to the phone again.