Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Moving his hand away from her face she wants to say she can't do it the words are not coming out instead seeing something in his eyes hearing his voice soft and low "I know you want this too Kerry" looking up at him, her eyes searching his face "look what happened last time" his mouth coming closer to her his voice so soft and sexy "it was good though" a smile appearing on her face the smile that brightens up her face shit she was so damn gorgeous she didn't even realise it moving closer to her, his hands moving under her shirt pulling her shirt down "I'll see you tomorrow"

Walking down her corridor her shoes echoing through the empty building her breathing coming under control how easy it would be to let go of her feelings, walking into showers, looking at the mirror running her hand through her hair and across her eyes shit Lawson what are you doing to me. Turning the light off looking up didn't he give up seeing his eyes staring into hers, like an xray scanning them seeing his mouth move down to hers his kiss so soft and gentle moving away centimetres from hers his forehead touching hers damn what is he doing to her feeling his hand moving up her shirt before down it, her hand reaching out turning the lights off. Her arm wrapping around his neck pulling his lips down to her kissing him hungrily feeling his hands moving down her body the moan escaping her lips as her head tilts backwards slightly all rational thoughts leaving her mind.

Picking up her things a while later facing Lawson "never again" she was screwed as it was without screwing Lawson again her life spinning out of control yet again this time she was Superintendent she needed to stay in control and keep the team together.

Watching Kerry pick up her bag walking out of the change room he wasn't thinking about any consequences or his actions he wasn't thinking much at all, Josh was dead his best friend, drinking trying to blot out what was happening he knew he should of gone home but unable to he was drawn to Kerry even when she pushed him away he wanted her, was it because she was a challenge to him, she was his boss did he actually have feelings for her, he did care for her but was it more. Banging his hand against the wall his life was starting to fall apart the one good thing he had for a while Shannon he was throwing it away and at the moment he didn't even care.

OOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A few days later

Walking out of base he had to get out of there Josh's funeral was so raw still, coming to work each day knowing that Josh wasn't there Kerry had given him time off was it more so she didn't have to face him, it wasn't long ago that it was Michael's funeral. Ever since he had slept with Kerry he couldn't be around Shannon for long the guilt eating away at him. Walking around he needed to clear his head not only had he cheated on Shannon by sleeping with Kerry once he had done it again even when Kerry pushed him away he came back wanting more from her, closing his eyes he can still remember the change room Kerry against the wall how much had they both to drink . Walking around he couldn't go home or to Shannon's he had lost his best friend, in two weeks 2 members of his team had died, could he have stopped Josh going off after Michael's killer he would never know.

Hearing a knock on the door, opening it the surprise on her face "What are you doing here?" looking at her "I just had to see you" following her inside seeing her look at him no doubt wondering what he was doing here what was he, could he say it, the past few weeks had made him realise a few things and not take thing for granted life was too short.

Looking at Lawson what was he doing here walking over to the bench pouring herself another glass of wine "Lawson what are you doing here?" looking at Kerry what was he "I can't stop thinking about you and the other night, I thought I must have dreamt it"

Her eyes moving side to side around the room she can't go there not again "Lawson we have work tomorrow?" looking at Kerry he had to see her "Kerry we have work 5 to 7 days a week, what am I missing out of here" looking at Lawson before her eyes moving down "it was wrong what happened, you're going out with someone else, someone in my team" looking at Kerry she couldn't look at him "I'm going to tell her" seeing the worried/shock look on her face "I'm not going to tell its you" pausing before continuing "she doesn't deserve this I know, I don't want to be someone who hurts her, but I can't…" walking around the room listening to Lawson she doesn't want him to tell or break up with Shannon turning to face him "what if what happened is ….. a one off….. you know a sort of completion of all that has happened" then looking at Lawson "a type of resolve" looking at Kerry as she faces him "is that what if felt like Kerry a completion" her tongue moving around her mouth she didn't know, she had wanted him for so long but never thought it would happen again her voice barely a whisper and soft "wasn't' it?" touching her arm he felt something there "it felt like a start to me" turning to walk away did she not feel it too.

Walking out the back looking around the sun had set the sky lit up in the afterglow, feeling Lawson's presence she didn't know what to think she thought she might leave what did he want, did she want more before seeing him leaning against the pole "what do you want" looking at Kerry staring into her eyes "you I think". Her mouth open did she hear him right looking at his face he was wrong she wasn't right for him he needed someone else "it wouldn't work, we would just argue all the time" looking at Kerry intensely her gaze not moving he wanted her to be with her "we do already" her eyes moving around before facing him why was he doing this why did he want to leave Shannon she was his boss "I just can't take the risk" his eyes not moving from hers, he wasn't going to give up moving closer to her "Kerry everything's a risk ….. everything the past few weeks….." Looking at him before her eyes moving down for a moment she wants to say yes but why couldn't she "I have to admit my instincts do say yes but there is some part of me, some part of higher intelligence of me that says no" seeing Kerry's eyes move back meeting his her arms moving around her tongue moving around her lips those lips he wanted to kiss her moving his arm to the pole closer to her "I must admit you should just forget about your higher intelligence here and go with your feelings here" Shaking her head wanting to follow her feelings her eyes down "I dunno …. Just think about my history" biting her lips she had 2 failed marriages then there was Boyd looking up seeing Lawson's face closer "its … it will get us into trouble" seeing Lawson closer his voice soft "what sort of trouble" any more answers silenced by his lips as they reach her lips before moving neck moving away slightly the feel of him against her body any thought leaving her she had wanted him for so long would it work "I don't know if I can take a risk on it" seeing Lawson not move away his mouth close from hers his voice barely a whisper "want me to show you why" before his lips reach hers.

Feeling Lawson's hands move over her body can she do it again his lips silencing anything she was going to say. Seeing Lawson move very slightly away still centimetres from her mouth "still can't take a risk" pulling his lips towards her for the time forgetting everything.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

Walking into base the following morning, he had to tell Shannon he couldn't live with the guilt anymore he had spent the night with Kerry and slept with her again this time it meant something really special he can still see her standing near him as her clothes fell to the floor, he lips on his it was amazing and he realised he did want to be with her and he wanted to do it again and again he realised he wouldn't tell her it was Kerry, hoping she wouldn't guess. Seeing Shannon already there, damn he didn't think she would be there that early. His eyes looking forward hearing her call her name "Did you go to Kerry's again?" it was so easy to say no that she went to Tash shaking his head "I just walked around … I went and saw Tash" looking at Lawson "How is she, how is she going?" not even looking at Shannon "how do you think Shan?" pausing "she's fine" looking at Lawson "how is she coping" getting slightly pissed "oh christ, what did I just say Shan" looking at her boyfriend what was wrong with him he hardly spent any time with her now turning to face him "did something happen between you and Tash?" looking at Shannon unable to answer, maybe it was better to think he slept with Tash shaking his head no he couldn't do that to her or Josh she was going through enough "It did didn't, Lawson something happened was it with Tash?"shaking his head as much as it was a way out and letting Kerry off, he couldn't do it to her, what if Tash found out he just couldn't do it to her or to Josh "Just leave it" facing Lawson not moving "Lawson just tell me, something has happened" why won't she just stop it "Shannon I didn't push you when you wanted space or whatever you want" his voice rising "so just leave it" confusion in her eyes there was something about him a look there something he wasn't telling her "This is not the same Lawson, why are you so defensive" walking away from her he was getting really pissed off at her for pushing it hearing her call out "Lawson just tell me, talk to me" turning to face her trying not to let any emotions show "I don't know what happened" seeing Shannon's eyes upon him it was like she knew "don't just say it" looking at Shannon he had to his eyes slightly down "… I fucked someone else?" as soon as the words were out of his mouth he regretted it seeing the hurt on her face but he pushed her, it wasn't the way he wanted her to find out watching as she walks away turning to face him "Was it Tash?" seeing him shake his head "who is she?" shaking his head hoping his eyes and face didn't give him away "it doesn't matter it was no one really" even as the words came out of his mouth he hoped his face didn't give him away as it was someone, someone he slept with a few times.

Watching as Lawson walks away the hurt there, she shouldn't of pushed him did she really want to know who was it, was it really no one that she knew.

Driving around trying to maintain a smile snapping at everyone how could Lawson do that to her, grateful he changed it so he wasn't in the car with her. Was it really no one she knew who was it that her boyfriend cheated and slept with going through it all day her thoughts consumed by it all the hurt there, she wanted to curl up go home and just drink, she didn't' want to think about it, her mind kept wondering who he had slept with. Getting Stella to stop the car, she had to throw up how could Lawson do that to her.

Going through it all day her mind kept coming back to one thing, he had spent a lot of time with Kerry lately, remembering the conversation she had with Stella a couple of years ago "they definitely had something going" she's hot, and she was even if she was 45 it wasn't that much older than Lawson now it was in her mind she couldn't stop thinking about it she had to know, turning to Stella "do you think Lawson would sleep with Kerry?".

Looking at Shannon what was going on she hadn't been herself all day she had been strange lately but today she was worse than ever "What's going on Shan?" looking at Stella she can't tell her what she is thinking or what Lawson said "Just forget it ….. do you think Lawson still has feelings for Kerry?"

Glancing at Shannon was she worried or had something happened "Shan Lawson is so into you, he loves you not Kerry that is in the past, there was something between ages ago but not now" looking ahead and not at Stella, even Stella didn't really know for sure was he still in love with her, she had pushed him away did he turn to someone else and who was she.

Hearing Shannon snap at everyone during the day the question she asked her earlier did something happen between Kerry and Lawson or was she just paranoid "Shan if you think something happened or happening ask him" turning to Stella could she confide in her she didn't want her private life broadcasted but she wanted to tell someone she was going crazy "he cheated on me Stella" her mouth wide open, did she hear correct Lawson Mr so straight and narrow her eyes wide "are you sure?" nodding that much she was sure was it Tash, Kerry or someone else why did she want to know "just forget it" looking at her friend could she say it out loud "Lawson told me he had slept with someone else, part of me just knows it is Kerry, he has spent a few nights with her or going over to her place" driving back to base both deep in thought "If it was Kerry, I don't think Lawson will tell you, I don't think he would go there Shan, this is Kerry we're talking about" nodding at her friend would either of them go there he didn't think Lawson would but would Kerry?.

Watching Lawson walking into the locker room at the end of the shift seeing him practically ignore her it had been eating away at her all day how could he do it, did it actually mean anything to her yes he cheated on her but she loved him. Watching as Christian walks out, seeing Stella give a smile to her "Lawson" seeing him look up turning to look at her , her planned speech going out of her head "Was it Kerry you fucked?".

Shit hoping his face remains neutral shaking his head hearing her voice "Just say it Lawson" stopping on the spot with Shannon in front of him "I dunno what happened I'm sorry Shan" shaking her head at him "don't …. Bullshit" turning away she was still sure it was Kerry watching as Lawson walks out, sitting on the table in the middle of the locker room her breath coming in ragged breaths blinking back the tears, walking over to the lockers banging them before flinging them on the floor after finishing biting her lips putting her head on her hands Lawson was her rock how could he do this.

Hearing a noise running into the locker room, looking around the second time Shannon had done this, hearing Lawson arrive a moment later "Shit, what's happening?" looking around her eyes full of concern "is it Lawson, did something happen with you and Lawson?"

Seeing Kerry at the door, why was she so sure it was her that Lawson fucked was it instinct or the fact he was so evasive about it all why couldn't she leave it instead of finding out who it was because it mattered to her it mattered to know if it was Kerry it would be one betrayal that she doubt she could get over "Did you screw Lawson?"

Trying not to show the shock on her face from Shannon's question what did she know, glancing at Lawson her eyes moving side to side before shaking her head "What? … what you are talking about"

Seeing the glance that Kerry gave Lawson "Bull shit, were you the one that Lawson cheated on me with?" Looking at Kerry and Shannon he didn't think that she would ask Kerry, turning to face her mouthing "I'm sorry" before facing Shannon "Shan, don't do this ….. it was some ….. random person"

Her eyes fixed on Lawson not moving, she still didn't believe him was it she wanted it to be Kerry or the fact it would be made worse "I don't believe you"

Looking at Shannon and Lawson biting her lips "Clean this up before you leave" looking at both of them "Keep your personal shit away from the team"

Walking back into the locker room a short time later, she didn't want to be with Shannon but the guilt she felt about sleeping with one of her team members boyfriend the shock she hid when Shannon came out and asked her "You ok" looking up at Kerry suspiciously why did it keep going through her mind would her boss actually do that to her looking at Kerry "It was you wasn't it?" looking at Shannon what was she to say "Look Shannon this job is hard it is not for a woman if you can't focus or keep your personal life out of it …" looking at Kerry she hadn't answered her question "Look at me Kerry, did you screw my boyfriend the question is simple". Looking at Shannon what was she to say it wasn't simple shaking her head slightly "I'm going to forget this happened, but…. Shannon I'm your boss and Lawson's just remember that" before walking out.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Walking inside her townhouse the funeral of both Josh and Michael now over a few days now what sort of leader was she to lose two team members within ten days, seeing Tash there Lawson sitting next to her. He had so many good qualities on top of being a smart arse he did care about his team. She was worried that he would not cope she knew how close there were, did he know what he was up to before he went off.

Answering the door seeing Lawson standing there she did have a crush on him for such a long time never imagining it would mount to more. Holding up a bottle of wine "want to join me" nodding at him pulling him inside feeling his lips upon hers looking up at him "I'll get the glasses"

Sitting on the lounge Lawson next to her, she wanted him and wanted to be with him but after today the doubts came back it wouldn't' work out, she couldn't have anyone find out what had happened between them, as much as she wanted to feel his lips against hers to lie in bed with him feeling him moving closer to her his lips upon hers she needs to be strong, pushing him gently away "I can't do it Lawson …. Today…. With Shannon ….." looking at Kerry searching her eyes "Shannon doesn't know it is you" raising her eyes at him "I think she does, she isn't going to give up Lawson, if she finds out ….." her voice trailing off could she ruin her career she knew she would tell everyone she was sure of it. "I don't think I can do it, Shannon is one of my team Lawson" reaching out to touch her trying to convince her "I don't want to be with her anymore, it is you I want, she'll get over it Kerry give her time, does it really matter if she guesses, it would die down" looking at Lawson in disbelief her eyes raised high "yes … I'm your superior and Shannon's … this is my job Lawson" getting up off the lounge she can't do it, she can't have Lawson try to convince her shaking her head "Lawson just go"

Looking at Kerry how could things go so wrong in so little time, just when it was starting it had finished turning to face her "what about taking a risk?" looking at Lawson her blue eyes piercing through him "just go"

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo

Hearing the gun shots over the phone her relief only short lived when she heard Lawson's voice again soon after, relief flooding through her that it wasn't him that was shot how did all of this happen it was meant to be secure, now this. Watching the screen the camera finally inside where the fuck was Lawson trying to control herself her heart beating faster she had heard the gun shots but there was only the one and his voice was he the one shot, she nearly stopped breathing her mouth open with shock her eyes glued to the screen "where's Lawson" looking at Leon her eyes narrowing as he tries to figure out which way they were going, he better not stuff up after the stunt he pulled today here. Watching the screen seeing Leon look at it as he realises that they had put it on a circuit and it was going round, where was Lawson was he now with the cuckoo at the mercy of him somewhere in the building, this was Leon's job her eyes on the screen and Leon she needed him to find Lawson and now. Leon better find where he is looking as he types away at the computer, she knew that look listening to him talking to Charlie her eyes burning through him he better not stuff this up seeing him suddenly realise that they were at the wrong entrance her eyes glaring at him. As the cameras from the lane appear and the van Charlie better not stuff this up, he better get Lawson out of there.

Watching as they walk out of the building the fear there trying to keep it back her eyes searching the them "I can't see Lawson" where was he, he had to be there did he do something to him, the relief still short lived as she hears Shannon's voice "Lawson is there" he is with the cuckoo the situation just as dangerous, this man had already killed Michael and the police minister who else would he kill, he had also made this friggin bomb that they needed to find.

Her eyes glued to the screen as the gun shot is fired it doesn't take long to realise the cuckoo is down, damn Charlie wanting to toss the head phones across the room where is the friggin bomb now how is she going to find it. Walking away from the screen running her hands across her eyes she didn't want to admit how scared she was the thought of losing Lawson were her feelings that strong towards him.

Waiting as the TR cars came back seeing Lawson hop out, relief flooding through her she had to admit when she thought Lawson could have been killed or kidnapped by the Cuckoo she had a fear, not like losing Michael or Josh a deep fear of losing someone she loved, someone she didn't want not to see, someone she wanted she had pushed Lawson away she couldn't do it to Shannon or was it she didn't want another failed relationship or she was just as hopeless with them as she was a mother.

The day was over Leon was still there, she was nearly by herself walking out to the locker room they were all leaving one by one to go home and get a few hours sleep, they all needed to be back early morning and on call, tomorrow was going to be a long day, hopefully by then bomb squad would know something, she doubted she would sleep be on call could she go home she wouldn't be able to switch off, watching as Lawson left his gaze meeting hers giving him a brief nod and a subtle point of the finger turning away hoping he will follow her.

Turning around seeing Lawson there, walking into her cubicle "Shit Lawson" not sure if she wanted to hit him or kiss him. Looking at Kerry she wasn't in control as she normally was bringing his hand up to stroke her chin "I'm ok" then with a cheeky grin "don't' actually tell me you care?" rolling her eyes at him "it is just all this paperwork that I keep on having to do" walking down the hallway glancing around opening the door to the storeroom, pulling her towards him "nothing is going to happen to me" then tilting her chin seeing her gaze upon him as he leans down his lips meeting hers briefly and softly his voice soft "I want to be with you Kerry" nodding at Lawson her voice soft "I think I want you too Lawson" seeing the smile on his face as his lips find hers, feeling his arms wrap around her feeling his hands move under her shirt. Hearing a grasp from the door, pulling away from him the look of shock on their faces "shit"