We do not own the House of Mouse, or Any Characters used here… (And thank God that only Disney owns Baby Shelby)
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It was yet another average night in Toontown…..in fact it was less average, only three buildings had blown up that day. (This meant poor business for the competing Construction Companies in Toon Town.)
At Disney's House of Mouse things were working out as usual… actually not, no one had shown up to cause trouble, the Villains were behaving after what happened with WG and the blender, and Fanatic and the missile launcher, and the cartoons were some new ones as well.
(Rumor has it that in order for them to be, Mickey hired some Authors)
Meanwhile outside the club, our Favorite,(COUGH COUGH!), Authors were standing Outside with Max, as these Episodes shall Probably begin to start out now.
Fanatic was moving one of his arms in a swishing motion. "THIS IS HOW A WIND SHEILD WIPER WORKS, Swish!"
"Oh." Said WG, who then took notes in a tiny notepad.
Max stared at them incredulously. "What are you guys doing?"
"Killing time until the Plot shows up." WG responded, and then she proceeded to hit a watch with a mallet with the word Plot on it.
"Let's hope that speeds up the Process, if not then maybe someone shall make a cameo."
Suddenly "HEY YOU TWO SECURITY GUARDS!" A voice yelled blowing both WG and Fanatic into a wall.
"Hey it DID WORK!" Fanatic cheered as they peeled themselves off of the wall.
They both looked up to see Mrs. Turtle, and in her arms was her son Baby Shelby.
"Oh no," Max groaned. "Not her again."
Mrs. Turtle ignored him and then walked over to WG, plopping Shelby down in her arms.
"I'm going into the club to have a good time, but my little baby Shelby doesn't want to go inside with me, so YOU TWO have to watch him."
"US?!" Cried WG. "Why us?! Why can't you just hire a baby sitter?! I took this job to get OUT of babysitting!"
"BECAUSE I DON"T TRUST PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW!" Mrs. Turtle yelled.
"But… you don't know us." Fanatic pointed out.
"Yes, but you two are SECURITY GUARDS, thereby I can trust you both with my son- OTHERWISE IT MEANS AN EARLY GRAVE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU!" Then she patted Shelby on the head. "Be good sweetie, oh and remember, if anyone harms him in anyway, then this club is gonna be looking for two Security guards!"
And with that she stomped off into the club.
The authors looked down at Shelby, who looked at them and then began pointing and laughing.
"Well sucks to be you WG, I'm off to patrol the Perimeter." Fanatic said, and then tried to make a run for it.
"UH NO!" WG cried and then grabbed Fanatic's shirt collar. "You're sticking around here!"
"But YOU'RE a professional babysitter, you can handle this!" Fanatic yelled out in Retaliation.
"Too bad, so sad, you're staying- otherwise you can kiss your Transformers cameos goodbye." WG said, and then plopped Fanatic back outside.
Baby Shelby, began laughing his head off. "Yeah, Yuck it up you little squirt." Fanatic grumbled.
"This sucks… What could be worse?"
Calvin and Hobbes then came up, a wagon full of water-balloons. "Alright, guys, we demand entrance into the club, otherwise you'll be soaked until the year 2020!" the six-year-old demanded.
Fanatic arched an eyebrow. "She said what could be WORSE, not what could be more annoying." he said.
"Ooooh, stuck babysitting that bratty little turtle, huh?" Hobbes asked, in which Shelby blew a raspberry at him.
WG looked at Shelby. "Well on the Plus side, we have both seen the Cartoons with him, so that means that we KNOW he will try to escape and that way we can counter act him."
Then, Shelby reached into his shell, and then held something up over his head.
"Where did you get that Grand Piano?" WG asked.
"CRASH!"
"AH, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Shelby laughed as he ran inside.
The two authors burst from the Piano, and then Fanatic screamed, "GET BACK HERE OR SO HELP ME, I'LL TURN YOU INTO SOUP!"
And with that they ran off after him.
Max looked at Calvin and Hobbes. "Um, are you going to help them?" he asked.
"Why should we?" Calvin said, snobbishly.
"Maybe if we help them, they'll let us into the club." Hobbes suggested.
Before Calvin could reply, WG ran back, and then dragged them away.
"…Plus I don't think we have much of a choice."
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Inside the Club, Mickey was on stage preparing for the next Cartoon.
"Alright everyone, put your hands, Tentacles, Hooves Paws, and Feet together it's time for a another Cartoo-"
"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH!"
"OUT OF THE WAY BOSS!"
SMACK!
Mickey stumbled up after getting run over by WG, dragging Fanatic.
"uhh, give it up for a Donald Cartoon." He then passed out on the stage.
"HIT IT HORACE!" Minnie yelled as she ran to drag Mickey off stage.
Up in the Sound booth, Horace, rolled up his sleeve.
"HORACE PPPPUUUUUNNNCH!", Yelled out the Projector as he punched it, causing a giant flash of light, as the Cartoon played on the screen.
Minnie dragged Mickey backstage, as Shelby ran past.
…Followed by WG, who had just let go of Fanatic.
"GET BACK HERE!" She called out.
Fanatic walked up to Minnie.
Minnie looked at him. "Let me Guess, Mrs. Turtle didn't want to hire a babysitter again?"
"Yep." Fanatic said, rubbing his head.
"And what doesn't/ does want to happen to Shelby this time?"
"Get injured."
Donald, who had been watching sighed. "Phew, at least it's not me this time."
"OUTTA THE WAY DONALD!"
CRASH!
"AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHH A"
Donald now lay on the Floor, flatter than Jeff Globules acting.
"Oh phooey, spoke too soon."
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Calvin and Hobbes chased Shelby into the kitchen, where they had seen him coming.
"Come on Shelby where are you, Mommy's going to be upset if you get hurt, and then we're going to get hurt worse if she hurts the authors," Calvin whispered.
"Yeah, kid… it ain't worth the suicidal stunts- take it from a tiger who gets dragged into them." Hobbes said.
Calvin gave him a look. "What's THAT supposed to mean?!"
Hobbes looked up, and then saw Shelby standing on a cabinet, about to jump into a sink, that was full of Knives. "GAH! THERE HE IS!"
Calvin gasped, and then almost tore his own face off as he jumped.
"HA HA HA HA HA!" Shelby laughed.
Calvin Dove forward, and then jumped onto the counter, butt landing in the sink. His hands raised out to catch Shelby, who landed safely in Hobbes arms as the tiger ran next to the sink, having stretched them over the sink so to avoid getting stabbified. "Whew! That was close."
Shelby laughed and then looked at Calvin, a look of sheer pain on his face. He then laughed, and then hopped out of Hobbes' hands and then took off running again.
"I hate that kid." Calvin said through his teeth, as he ran off after him, at the same time pulling knives out of his…you know what. "…just end scene and go to the next.. END SCENE DANG IT!"
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Shelby laughed as he ran up the stairs and to the catwalks above the club. He looked down and saw the tables with toon characters.
HE then climbed u onto the railings and then began to saw back and Forth.
WG, ran up onto the catwalks which began to shake. She gasped as Shelby began to act like he was going to fall.
"AH, NO DON'T!" She cried running toward him.
Shelby jumped off, and WG jumped to grab him, only then Noticing WHAT side he jumped onto, and she went sailing over the railing.
She looked back at Shelby who waved and then laughed. "I HATE YOU!" She yelled as she crashed into a table.
She looked up and saw Mrs. Turtle.
"And how is my little baby doing?"
"Just Fine, Mrs. T, I'm just handling a little Security Problem., that's all."
"WHO CARES ABOUT THE SECURITY GET BACK TO MY BABY OR ELSE!"
WG was then blown onstage by the scream.
She looked at the Audience, and then chuckled weakly.
"Um… AND NOW A GOOFY CARTOON!" And then she ran off stage.
Minnie, who was still trying to Revive Mickey yelled out, "HORACE!"
WG charged backstage, and then saw, much to her dismay, Shelby….about to stick a fork into an electrical socket.
"GET AWAY FROM THAT YOU STUPID LITTLE REPTILE!" She yelled out, right as she grabbed the fork and then shoved it into the socket.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" WG screamed and lit up like a Christmas Tree on fire.
"AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!" Shelby laughed, and then proceeded to grab two wires out of the nearest Power box.
As WG stopped being electrified she groaned, and Fanatic ran over. "The ol' fork in the electric socket gag again?" he asked.
"Just… go… get… that…. kid…" WG growled, standing up. "I gotta go chip off my burnt skin."
Fanatic turned to look at the reader. "I know what's going to happen, and you know what's going to happen, but if I don't do this he will harm himself… and it would kill the slapstick."
He ran onto the roof, and found Shelby, about to jump off the building. He turned and then waved Bye Bye.
Fanatic sighed, and then ran towards him, and then… as expected, he stepped aside and he went sailing over the edge.
"Thank goodness I am on Cartoon Logic!" Fanatic yelled out, as he hit the pavement, with enough force to actually cause some of it to collapse into the sewers.
"HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH!"
Fanatic got up, and then stormed into the building. Max watched him go in, and blinked. "I should help, but my insurance wouldn't cover it." he said to the reader.
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Shelby ran into the club itself, and then hid under a table, where Mulan and Sheng were sitting.
Mulan, feeling Shelby on her foot, looked under the table, just as Calvin crashed into her foot.
"AH!" Mulan yelled out, drawing out her feet. Calvin looked up at her. "Sorry." And then he saw Shelby, going onto captain Hook's seat, and then sitting next to his side.
"Ah Mr. Smee, are the crew behaving themselves, as to not break any rules?" He said Nervously.
"Oh course captain, no rule breaking here." Smee said.
"Excellent, with any luck we shalt have to put up with any funny goings on with those two "Security Guards" as Mickey calls them."
He said this, right as Hobbes crashed into his side.
"AH SMEE, A TIGER IS TRYING TO KILL ME! SAVE ME SMEE!"
Everyone looked towards both Raja and Sher Kahn "Don't look at us!" Sher Kahn snapped.
"Sorry, Mr. Hook." Hobbes said
"SORRY? SORRY!? You just VIOLATED MY PERIMETER I SHOULD CUT YOU DOWN TO SIZE!"
HE then drew his sword and then pointed it at Hobbe's throat.
Calvin then popped up. "HEY, LOOK! Jack Sparrow is winning the 'Greatest Pirate Of All Time' award!" he shouted, pointing in some random direction.
"WHAT?!" Captain Hook turned, giving the two cartoons a chance to amscray.
They checked, under Chernaboug's foot, inside Gaston's gun, King Triton's beard, The Reluctant Dragon's mouth, Under Ursula's tentacles, Behind, under and over, ALL 101 Dalmatians, Under Giselle's Wedding Dress (the thing could hold a circus) In Ralph's fist, Calhoun's blaster, Simba's mane, Genie's lamp, Jafar's hat, The Mad Hatters hat, one of Belle's books, inside the Beast's fur and even checked the Seven Dwarfs for an answer.
"WHERE IN THE WORLD IS HE!?" Calvin shouted.
"Where is who?"
Calvin looked and saw that he had been standing right next to Mrs. Turtle. "Oh, um Fanatic's pet cat Tiger, got lost. Hobbes and I are just looking for him."
"Ah… and do you know how well a job those security authors are doing with Shelby?"
"Um, we're too busy looking for the cat." Hobbes said meekly.
"WHO CARES ABOUT THE CAT MAKE SURE MY BABY IS SAFE!"
Calvin and Hobbes were blown clear…. Into a brick wall.
"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAH AHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHH!"
"GET BACK HERE!" Calvin shouted, and he and Hobbes pulled themselves off the wall and raced after the little shelled spawn of Hades.
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Shelby, ran into the Prop basement, with WG and Fanatic following behind him.
"Come on Baby Shelby, Mommy will KILL us if this continues!" Fanatic called.
Shelby just laughed, and then he ran through the Wardrobes, and WG still ran after him, each time ending up in some Characters outfit.
Shelby, looked like a Monkey, and WG was dressed up like Jane, as they through a Tarzan set.
Another Wardrobe Run, she ended up looking like Magica, while Shelby looked like Mr. Poe.
Jessie, and Buzz, Kanga and Roo, Calhoun and Fix it Felix, Princess Lea, and Darth Vader, Darkwing and Gosalyn, Kim and Rufus, and so on and So Forth.
Soon, Shelby, who looked like some Weird Mix Between Piglet, Roo, Vader, Felix and a Monkey, stood atop a cliff of Assorted Props.
He looked down, and then grinned. He turned around and then saw WG, who looked like a strange Mix of All the Disney Princesses, Jane, Darkwing, Magica, Kim, as well has holding Jafar's Snake Staff Replica, running toward him.
"Hold it, let me take a picture!" Fanatic exclaimed, holding up his cell phone. The two paused, smiling, and he clicked a picture.
"Come on Shelby, Don't jump off the cliff, don't!" She cried out.
Shelby grinned at her and then jumped.
"NO!" Both yelled, and ran and leapt… only to see that he had grabbed onto a crate, safely, hanging on.
"Well, what am I falling into this time?" Fanatic asked. They looked down and saw…all the fireworks ever used by the Disney Parks.
"I REALLY HATE THAT BRAT!" WG yelled.
"DITTO!" Fanatic screamed.
BOOM!"
Shelby stood atop the "cliff" And Saluted like an American Soldier at the site of the Fireworks.
They all went off in bright Colors, that lit up the prop room beautifully.
WG, climbed back up the cliff, clothes shredded and Brunt, her Hair was charred black, and she was Covered in ash. Fanatic looked just the same.
Calvin and Hobbes came running in. "What smells like toast?" Hobbes asked.
"Drop dead, Hobbes." WG sneered.
"How the heck are we going to get that kid to behave?! He's uncontrollable!" Fanatic whined.
"Yeah, he's more trouble than I am- and that's really saying something!" Calvin added.
"I think I have a way." Hobbes said, then walked over to Baby Shelby, who was readying a crate of explosives. "Ahem."
Shelby looked at him.
"How about a deal, Shelby? You behave, and you can go riding downhill in a wagon with Calvin all summer, and you can steer him off a cliff."
"WHAT?!" Calvin shouted.
Shelby rubbed his chin, mockingly considering it.
Hobbes held up a giant lollipop. "I'll give you candy, too."
"Ha ha ha!" Shelby laughed, then jumped into the tiger's arms.
"See? Simple."
The two authors and Calvin stared, then collapsed.
Hobbes sighed. "Some people just can't handle kids."
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Later Mrs. Turtle had come backstage to collect her son.
"WEHRE IS HE!?" She yelled.
Max raised his arms up. "In My defense, you need to hire an actual babysitter!" he whimpered.
Just then, the Prop room door burst open, and our heroes trudged out, Hobbes carrying baby Shelby, who was unharmed.
But Fanatic, WG, and Calvin looked like a mess, as stated before, they were burnt, and charred, covered in bandages, one each of their eyes was black, their hands had a large amount of Paper cuts on them, and for some reason an entire tree was in Calvin's hair…somehow.
"OH MY LITTLE BABY THNAK GOODNESS YOUR ALRIGHT!" Mrs. Tuttle Cried happily.
They collapsed onto the ground. Again.
"Oh thank you for taking care of my baby so well, in fact I'm going to make you his official baby sitter every time I come here!"
Wg looked up, her eyes wider than the moon. "Do we at least get paid?" she asked.
"NO, BABYSITTERS DO NOT NEEED MONEY THEY SHOULD FEEL GOOD JUST FOR DOING A GOOD JOB!"
"Tell that to Rosalyn," Calvin scoffed.
And with that Mrs. Turtle left the Club.
WG's right eye began twitching. And then her face went red.
"Uh, oh… I've seen her this way when her sister ticked her off after babysitting!" Hobbes yelped.
"Oh GOSH, HIT THE DECK!" Yelled Fanatic, who then ran into a closet.
Mickey's eyes went wide, and then he dragged Minnie off to his dressing room.
They shut the door just in time.
(a/n: We had to censor out my outburst because it included a lot of naughty language.)
Outside the Club, the glass in the doors shattered, and they fell down, the tables tipped over inside the club, the screen cracked, Doors were blown apart, the wall paper cracked and peeled, The pipes burst, and goofy fell into the Fanatic shaped hole… again
Fanatic, Mickey and Minnie stared at the Devastation that had been caused, and then they dare to look at WG.
The area around her had no color what so ever, it had all been scared away by her scream, and what was left was a cracked damaged mass of Black and White. Calvin and Hobbes were imprinted into the wall, Hobbes' stripes blown off and Calvin in his underwear.
WG still looked the same as before, except now she had calmed down.
"If anyone needs me, I'm going to be napping." she said.
And with that she trudged away.
Then Daisy walked in. "What the heck Happened Mickey, it looks like a nuclear scream bomb went off, and the Magic Mirror's glass is cracked."
"Daisy, from now on, put in regulations that parents who bring their own children into the club are to keep an eye on them at ALL TIMES… and unattended children will be sent to Never Land." Mickey groaned, then went back to the stage.
"Why?"
"Lets just say… babysitting is NOT REQUIRED A SECURITY GUARD'S JOB!" Fanatic shouted, then walked off. "I'm going to go take a nap too. Hold my calls."
"…can we come into the club since we were a big help?" Hobbes asked.
"Well… just for tonight, just to pay you back for all you've gone through."
Calvin and Hobbes whooped and ran in. "At last, we're finally going to hang out in the-" Calvin began.
"Thanks for coming everybody! See you again next week!" Mickey announced, then the clubs lights went out, signifying it was closed.
Calvin's eyes went wide, and Hobbes gulped. "Wuh-oh, not again!" he said, then grabbed Calvin and put him inside a sound-sealed glass dome. From the way the six-year-old was thrashing and yelling, Hobbes should be given a Medal of Honor for sparing everyone from another conniption explosion. Once Calvin had calmed down, Hobbes took him out. "C'mon, bud, lets go home. We'll try again next week."
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"Are you sure he will be safe in here?" Mrs. Turtle asked a couple days later. They were all standing outside a building across the street from the club, titled 'Neverland Play House, Open 24 Hours.'
"Of Course Mrs. Turtle just drop him into the slide, and he will go right to the play area- our kiddy-club is the safest place around." Daisy said.
Mrs. Turtle, put Shelby in the slide, and he slid into the play area. "Oh thank you, now I don't have to worry about other people taking care of him."
If looks could kill she would have been killed by Donald, Fanatic and WG.
"Well," Daisy said. "It looks like we will have no more troubles with Shelby."
"Thank goodness." Fanatic, WG and Donald said, right as Shelby reveled that he had crawled up the slide, and was now running off into the club!
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAH!" He laughed as he ran off.
Everyone gaped, then slapped their foreheads. "Anyone got the number for Child Services?" WG asked.
"Should we go after him? I mean, Mrs. Turtle will kill us!" Fanatic stammered.
"Nah… all children are under the responsibility of the owners of THIS place,"
Right as she said that, the cast of Jimmy Two-Shoes came running out. "Ah, man! I TOLD you guys running a 24-Hour daycare was a stupid idea!" Heloise snapped.
"Well, don't just stand there, we've got to stop that kid before his mom finds out!" Jimmy exclaimed. "Lets go!"
"Can't we get a snack first?" Beezy asked, and Heloise dragged him off.
Everyone looked at WG. "Meh. Wanted to give them a cameo. Lets go eat." she said, then skipped off (omg it's the apocalypse, she's skipping! aaaggh!)
They all shrugged. Baby Shelby then popped up and slapped a sticker on the screen that said:
END.
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A/N: *No authors were harmed during the making of this fic… but if you're wondering why Turtle Soup is on the menu, don't think too hard*
Review. Flame and you experience a fate worse than death- in other words, babysitting Shelby.